ב"ה
Wednesday, 24 Shevat, 5780
  |  February 19, 2020

The Girl Across the Counter

From the COLlive inbox: This is what Miriam, a non-frum girl in her late 20's from a college town who works at a crafts store, told me about her Shlucha. Full Story

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Thanks for the chizuk!
Guest
Thanks for the chizuk!

We all need reminders to make a kiddish Hashem towards everybody. whether that person is a yid or not. This applies not only to Shluchim but for ever yid. Mashiach Now!

My observations
Guest
My observations

You bring up a very valid point. I think this goes back to our educational system. It seems that we are sure to teach our children (in CH) that “bishvili nivrah haolam” and “ashreinu ma tov…” that “we are better than them” which leads to kids thinking that only we count and everyone else is here to serve us. We need to put more emphasis on (really, internally) respecting every human being. In shilichus, I’ve worked with many public school kids and I’m sorry to say that (contrary to common perception) their level of respect and manors is generaly much… Read more »

agreed
Guest
agreed

first and foremost be a mentch- say please and thank you, and make a kiddush Hashem everywhere.

on the defense!
Guest
on the defense!

are you kidding me, because of one person in one story somewhere now we make a calling to generlize for everyone else to be polite, as in you know you shlochos you gotta do a better job. how about this, you people sitting on your…. in ch, go help the starving shluchim hundreds of them all over the world, compliment every time you hear a good thing about them, and then, only then, go out and give them a piece of hochaich tochiach, only after youve been a ” mentch” to them, otherwise, even if their serving people chleb from… Read more »

To "my observation"
Guest
To "my observation"

I so agree!

When a young person comes to my home to visit one of my children I always know when the young person is a native Crown Heightser or from out of town. The out of towner always says hello, introduces him/herself and generally has a more respectful manner.

Wonderful Reminder
Guest
Wonderful Reminder

Thank you for sharing this email!!

campus shlucha
Guest
campus shlucha

I am on campus and I know probably 90% of the campus shlchas. Most of them are wonderful ladies but there are a few real snobs who never even look at me without the right sheitl clothes etc. (I’m not sure some of them even know my name after 7 or 8 years of meeting them at kinusim!)It’s like that in every bunch though….but if you look at the campus they are on most of them work at a very ritzy expensive school that makes that attitude work somehow…Shluchas–we’re people too–go figure!!

No one's generalizing or criticizing
Guest
No one's generalizing or criticizing

We’re simply reminding everyone- shluchos and non shluchos alike (every Yid is in essece a shliach, by title or not- we’re all shluchim to make a dira b’tachtonim) that we should all be careful and remember basic mentchlichkeit in all that we do, wherever we are. Every Yid has the obligation to make a Kiddush Hashem wherever he is, whether the people he is around are Yidden or not. No need to take offense, this isn’t toichacha, just a reminder of the powerful effect of every little action we do, be it a positive one or chas v’shalom the opposite.

Not only for shluchos
Guest
Not only for shluchos

Please, everybody!!
It doesn’t matter whether you are a shlucha or not, be courteous to everybody!
Besides, people don’t know if you are the Rabbi’s wife or not, they just know that you are a religious Jew.

To #7 Campus Shlucha
Guest
To #7 Campus Shlucha

To #7 Campus Shlucha: I’m sorry that you feel like other shluchas don’t relate to you. I grew up in Crown Heights and I know you’re probably right. Many of us don’t have much to do with people outside our own circles of friends. There’s no excuse for it. But if it helps you understand – some of us have our hands full just keeping up with our old friends (classmates, bunkmates, neighbors, cousins…) and don’t notice the rest. It’s not supposed to be a personal affront to you, and it doesn’t mean we think we’re better than you. The… Read more »

It doesn't hurt to SMILE or say HELLO
Guest
It doesn't hurt to SMILE or say HELLO
Sorry # 4
Guest
Sorry # 4

Sorry #4, with all your good intentions; you probably express yourself just like the person the writer is describing. You are way off base. By the way the writer expresses her self I have no doubt that she is atleast as much appreciative of Shluchim as you are. Mashiach Now!

smile
Guest
smile

As long as we are on the subject of Crown Heights friendliness…..I recently visited Crown Heights and walked into a shop and said “hello” and was friendly with the cashier. She looked at me and said “you are probably from out of town, cause you are very friendly”. Also, in our large city on Shabbos everyone greets each Yid with a “Gut Shabbos’ wether you are chassidic, litvish, modern orthodox..etc. I’m so used to this that when I come to Crown Heights I automatically wish people Gut Shabbos as I pass them……Most of the time they are looking at me… Read more »

100%
Guest
100%

a crown heights girl, an out of towner would never be like that

agree?
Guest
agree?

yes i agree. great point. but here’s an even BIGGER point to INTERNALIZE: treat your fellow Lubavitcher the same way too!

To #4
Guest
To #4

1) This letter is equally true to all, shluchos, shluchim, chasidim, satmer. We all have the ability to reach out to people we meet randomly and make a kiddush Hashem. 2) your comments put shluchim in a more negative light than you might think. I hope you are not a shliach or at least do not reflect the attitude of most shluchim. I for one have tremendous respect for most shluchim and would lose that respect in an instant if I thought that was the mainstream view amongst shluchim. I am not able to help “hundreds of starving shluchim” but… Read more »

a note from the author
Guest
a note from the author

My biggest apprehension in sending this was that people would mis-interpret and somehow this would become a source of negativity. This ACTUALLY happened, and while it was far from my intention to criticize Shluchos World-wide, I felt I would be remiss if I did not share the story. Being a current resident of Velt and a former resident of CH, I understand the longing for achdus in both places! My point is, simply, Thank You all for the beautiful comments and for keeping the kind of open, positive attitude that we all need to infuse our families and communities with.… Read more »

Ahavas Yisrael for Snobs
Guest
Ahavas Yisrael for Snobs

Are they included?

I love the Rebbe's neighborhood
Guest
I love the Rebbe's neighborhood

Thank you, author, for reminding us all about the importance of this. I feel compelled to add an impt point: I just felt it would be a betrayal to all the Rebbe stands for to stand here without saying a word about the negative comments on Crown Heights (see #14, etc.). Kan Tziva Hashem es habracha: why generalize and stereotype? I grew up in Crown Heights, and am well acquainted with so many who ARE courteous and polite…Please watch your words. Clearly, the Rebbe does not approve of people talking this way…and by the way, where are YOUR manners in… Read more »

Miriam
Guest
Miriam

Miriam is a very catholic name as well

To #9 & 13
Guest
To #9 & 13

#9 you took the words right out of my mouth

i agree with you 100%

To #13
SB Goldstein an askin tziburi in CH (please no bashing here needed) wrote and postes a whole article a few years ago about the same exact issue as your comment.

i guess some things never change

hosiery store lady
Guest
hosiery store lady

I am an out of towner, and one women sticks out in my mind from when i go to CH. Whenever i’m there i go to the hosiery store to stock up on tights and knee socks. The blonde women behind the counter (i’m sorry i do not know her name) is always so friendly and courteous. she always asks me how i am, where i’m from, how was my flight, wishes me a gut Yom Tov… She is a women we can all learn from. I just thought this was a great opportunity to thank her, and show her… Read more »

to 13 and everyone else
Guest
to 13 and everyone else

i agree you should always smile to people as you pass i to came from out of ch but i live here now and let me tell you if you were to say good shabbos or good morning/evening to all you passed you would never get to your destonation when i lived out of town i said all, smiled and was very polite as i was bought up but when i did it here i found that what should have been a 5 min walk turned to a 30 min walk main diff. you dont see as many people walking… Read more »

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