The story of Rivkah Chilungu (nee Couch) of Rochester, NY, as told to Sara Stiefel (Dinerman) of Lipetsk, Russia for issue #11 of the EmBRace Magazine. Photo by Etty Bogomilsky (Pinson) of Maplewood, NJ:
When I walked into Bais Rivkah Girls High School in Crown Heights, Brooklyn, on the afternoon of my first day teaching twelfth-grade history in Elul 5763 (September 2003), my stomach was twisted in so many knots I could hardly climb up the stairs.
Girls seemed to swarm like honeybees, some finishing lunch on the run, many clustered together singing, and others clumped together comparing schedules. It seemed that every brick and bit of mortar in that old building was straining to contain the energy it held inside. Girls continued streaming in from the front doors, from the cafeteria, from every level of the school. I fought through the crowd, trying to smile despite my nervousness at the countless pairs of curious eyes checking out the new teacher. Squeezing my way into the office, I found my crisp new punch card and checked in. The adult faces of the office staff seemed to drown in the waves of girls in green and white. I grabbed some sticks of chalk and set out to find my class.
Although I wasn’t sure what to expect when I agreed to take the job, I was excited about the challenge. My life story had recently taken crazy and unpredictable swerves and turns, and I had learned to just embrace rolling with it. Before I got to Crown Heights, I had gone from this weird mix of Communist – wanna-be atheist – revolutionary type to Observant Jew in a matter of a few years. What was another twist in the plot? Teaching in a Chassidic girls’ high school was just one more adventure.
I spent the summer before school reading history books and cooking up lesson plans. Once the school year began, I continuously reevaluated and adjusted the lessons as needed. Some days, teaching was overwhelming. I didn’t have a computer, I didn’t have access to certain supplies I wanted, and some things I wanted to do were just impossible. The workload grew every day, and the hours I spent preparing stretched later and later.
As the year progressed, teaching got easier, though not in a way that might first come to mind. The people who surrounded me–the other staff and administration–were very supportive, Mrs. Laine in particular.
In addition, it turned out that teaching in this school was fun! The energy and life – and yes, even the chaos – was incredible. Young people are wonderful. Teenagers are wonderful. I much preferred dealing with the pluses and minuses of live-wire kids with questions and challenges, doubts and joy, and the whole wild mix of emotion and runaway energy, than with kids who have been drained of all that. Because even when they are off the rails, that energy and life can be redirected. What can you do with a lifeless lump?
I learned over time what the students needed, and though I am certain I made mistakes, I strived to ensure that every one of the students learned the material, did well in class, and passed the New York State Regents exam. Some girls were too hard on themselves; some were not taking themselves seriously enough. Some needed to read, others needed to hear and see. But every student needed – in fact, every human needs – to feel that they matter. I put myself totally into the job and the only reward I expected was for my students to pass the Regents. I had no idea how much more I was to receive.
About three-quarters of the way through the year, I became engaged. After returning from the Ohel, where my chosson and I had asked the Rebbe for his brocha for our engagement, I began calling every friend and family member in my phone book. When my roommate, Faiga, went to buy some refreshments in the local ice cream/candy store, high school girls overheard my name as the bride in question. Unbeknownst to me, they immediately set to spreading the word.
I returned to school the following day, unaware that my students knew I had become engaged. I walked up the stairs, lesson plans in hand. A few of the other teachers smiled knowingly at me, but I kept quiet. When I walked into my first class of the day, I found four classes of girls crammed in, the desks pushed aside, and food and drinks on my desk. The girls burst into song, screams echoing down the hall.
At first, I thought about calming them down – I had lessons to teach, the other teachers had lessons to teach, and we were headed into the homestretch towards graduation. Every effort, though, was futile. With permission from the principal and with the recognition that the girls were in charge this time, I sat with them in a circle on the floor and we spent the time singing, laughing, and having much more fun than we would have had studying the Kennedy administration.
A word of explanation about my background at this point definitely adds to this story. I am a convert from a small town in Ohio and my husband is a convert as well. Though our families were planning to contribute to our wedding, the cost of a kosher wedding and setting up a kosher home is much more than they were able to afford. I had no idea how we were going to pay for everything, but June was a ways off, and I hoped that by the time the wedding came along, those concerns would be put to rest.
One evening, about two months after becoming engaged, a friend begged me to walk with her to a house near Bais Rivkah. She was nervous about walking alone at night. As we were walking, she told me that she needed to give something to a friend who was at an engagement party at the school. I was getting suspicious. We walked into the school cafeteria and I was greeted by all four classes of my students, as well as some fellow teachers. Even the principal was in attendance!
I was caught in a swirl of girls. We danced and sang and more friends and students filtered in. The girls had set up table after table of food, much of it homemade by themselves or their mothers. They had fundraised and had contacted charities for brides, and they had gone shopping. Everything I needed to set up my home was carefully and expertly wrapped and placed on tables draped with elegant tablecloths. They even produced a skit in my honor! After the party was over, one of the student organizers came to me with an envelope. It was the remainder of the money that they had pulled together but hadn’t spent.
There was still another surprise in store for me, though. At my wedding, after the chuppah and dinner, 110 seniors and a few other girls from younger grades flooded into the hall, filling the dance floor, lifting me in a chair, swirling me around, grabbing my shy family and dancing with them as well. The girls didn’t leave until the band packed up. I left thinking that I must concentrate on remembering every single unforgettable moment of this day.
It’s been eighteen years since they threw that engagement party for me. My husband and I have four kids k”ah. Now it is my daughter who is in the middle of taking Regents Exams! We live in Rochester, NY which is great because that allows me to sneak down into Crown Heights every now and then. I’m teaching again, too, but now I’m teaching art and the school I teach at –Ora Academy– is a drop smaller than Bais Rivkah. We have 8 students- TOTAL! And our uniforms are long blue pleated skirts, not green.
I’ve been asked to give a few talks here and there, and I’ve written a bit about how I ended up Jewish. I like to share the positivity and hope I experienced at Bais Rivkah High School and express appreciation to those involved. My Bais Rivkah students played such a huge part in how I got to be who and where I am now that I never leave them out of the story.
As a final note, I did get my original wish – every student passed her Regents exam! And I still haven’t thrown out my grade book filled with the names of those unforgettable girls…
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EmBRace Magazine #11 has been landing in mailboxes daily. Read the full issue of EmBRace Magazine online
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Love Rivka! She is such a great speaker and so funny!
This is so beautiful!!!!!!
That is an amazing story!
What a great story! Thank you for sharing!
And now Rivka and her husband give back very generously to every cause in their community!
That’s amazing! And the girls in that era look so Aidel!
This is is beautiful. Thank you for sharing your story. It made my day!
I remember you so well
You were so dedicated to your students
Always striving to reach each one
No wonder they loved you
ST
Can we just take a moment to comment on your writing ability!
You write so well!
And every student passed?!!
That’s a testament to their teacher’s devotion. That doesn’t just happen