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Friday, 20 Elul, 5779
  |  September 20, 2019

Teen’s Take on Parent Remarriage

A teenager responds to Rabbi Gershon Schusterman's article about a parent remarrying offering a different perspective. Full Story

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Wow
Guest
Wow

So so well written and true. Thank you!!

Wow.
Guest
Wow.

I never realized how painful this is for children.

Agree
Guest
Agree

Very well said. I couldn’t agree more.

huh
Guest
huh

children are not supposed to go to the chuppas of parents

very impressed!
Guest
very impressed!

One word: beautifully written! May Hashem send you only joy in your life and be there for your children no matter what, especially since you know what it means to loose a parent.

יתומה מגיל קטן מאוד
Guest
יתומה מגיל קטן מאוד

I love it!!!! Bc of this my father never remarried, he such a great devoted father, at thank u so much 4 being so good 2us

Single parent
Guest
Single parent

As a single parent, I agree with your words!! It is terrible for a child to feel they no longer have a home, and that they have “lost” their parent. I support your words that a parent’s first responsibility is to their children, and that perhaps, a parent must delay remarriage until the children have more independence and don’t have to be confined to the home they don’t feel comfortable in.

Thank you!
Guest
Thank you!

My mother was remarried when I was 14, and despite the fact that I am now 20, I cannot accept him as my father. Not being able to sing, wear my normal pajamas outside my room, or doing any of the things I did before my mother’s marriage is a very large price to pay. I’m just glad that my mother never forced the issue, and allowed me to have space from my stepfather. The irony is that I gained new family, and I accepted them just fine, in fact, my younger cousin had become a surrogate sister to me!… Read more »

Another perspective: thank God my mom remarried
Guest
Another perspective: thank God my mom remarried

My parents divorced when I was 3. My mom remarried when I was almost 6. I have to say, looking back now that I’m 14, it was the best thing. My stepdad is great. While our personalities are quite different, I live in an intact home. (My dad remarried and then divorced again, and is now single.) My siblings and I spend about 40% of the time with our dad. My mom and stepdad are on great terms with my dad, and that just makes things so much better. Obviously the best thing would have been if my parents could… Read more »

שפיגל ירושלים
Guest
שפיגל ירושלים

In defense of Harav Hagaon Gershon Shusterman.You have attacked the concept of moving forward after lo oleinu a death or divorce. Sadly your suffering occurred because of many factors including but not limited to putting a guilt trip on your mother.You need a lot of therapy from a specialist.I recommend Rabbi Schmidt here in Israel.He’s the best👍

no one should be on there own
Guest
no one should be on there own

I agree and disagree no woman or man should be on there own and not have to wait for the kids to move out and then get married kids do not no how lonely it can be without having someone with themto help adv ise and help with the kids .so option is to make sure when kids are around they should tryand not to make the kids cringe and uncomfortable put the kids first as kids grow up leave home and then if somrones on there own not good

Don't agree
Guest
Don't agree

from personal experience with my own remarried (not to each other) parents I think it is cruel not to want parents to be happy. However I do think that the kids need to meet the prospective husband/wife once the dating gets serious and be asked their opinion. I agree that community help is important. And the family should have a therapist in place for dealing with issues when they crop up.

Wow
Guest
Wow

What an eye opener. Very well written and very informative.

I disagree with the final sentence though. Every effort should be made to understand and help the children. But the parent should not feel they need to stay single to protect the kids. With sensitivity and care people can both remarry and give the kids their space and respect.

beautifully written
Guest
beautifully written

Thank you for sharing your experience so that we can all learn what others are going through.
Hashem Bless,
David Cohen

Great!
Guest
Great!

Very well explained and thoughtful.

Not so poshut
Guest
Not so poshut

It’s a very delicate situation
Most of Children suffer a lot but is the best for the parents
Mature children think about the joy of their father/mother , knowing that eventually they are going to make their own life and they would also like to remarried if they would be in the same in the same situation

Wow
Guest
Wow

So moving, I’m in tears
Thank you

100% true
Guest
100% true

am crying reading this, to all the people who will comment, please dont hurt us more by denying or minimising our pain. yes you will say that you know somewhere thats different or that its not always like thistrue there are most probably some miracle homes but unless you have lived this firsthand you cannot know so spare us your judgement

Sorry for your bad experiense
Guest
Sorry for your bad experiense

It was a bad experience for you. But I know several remarriage situation that turned out wonderful. There is no reason kids can’t form a good relationship with a step parent if they gave them a shot. Teens are notoriously emotionally immature. Not to say they don’t have a right to their feelings but a parent has a right to a life and can be very lonely without a spouse. The only thing I think is a mistake is not making it a family deal. Kids have to understand and give it a fair shot but parents have to introduce… Read more »

Second marriages
Guest
Second marriages

Unfortunately, the writer suffered from a terrible experience.
However, there are second marriages that do work. It depends on the couple and how sensitive they are to their new positions, and added responsibilities.

a wonderful article
Guest
a wonderful article

As someone whose parent died and the other parent remarried albeit successfully over forty years ago, this article really rings true. Yes an adult wants to remarry for all sorts of reasons but don’t spring it on your kids an don’t play happy families. Kids didnt ask this stranger into their lives, be sensitive.

Lived through this
Guest
Lived through this

Your article is spot on!
Well.done

bravo
Guest
bravo

Excellent response…Kol Hakovod..In total agreement. Good luck to you..I wish you well.

Very interesting and very poignant.
Guest
Very interesting and very poignant.

As a father and a stepfather I can relate to this woman. Lots to say but I’ll keep it in for now.

Very well articulated
Guest
Very well articulated

Thank you for writing this. You really opened up my eyes to this in a very down to earth and clear way.

Thaks for taking the time to enlighten and educate.

WERE IS THE BALANCE?
Guest
WERE IS THE BALANCE?

WHAT A DIFFICULT READ!!! YES, THERE HAS TO BE A BALANCE BETWEEN THE HAPPINESS OF THE CHILDREN AND THEIR PARENTS. MAYBE CHILDREN WITH NEW PARENTS SHOULD GO FOR THERAPY AS WELL AS THEIR PARENTS. IS IT REALLY FAIR TO ASK A YOUNG PARENT WITH YOUNG CHILDREN TO WAIT FOR THEIR HAPPINESS? HOW ABOUT THE EXTENDED FAMILY: THEY SHOULD BE THERE FOR THE CHILDREN. I AM SO SAD TO READ YOUR POINT OF YOU AND I FEEL YOUR PAIN AND AGONY. THERE MUST BE A HAPPY MEDIUM. I SINCERELY HOPE YOU HAVE YOUR OWN FAMILY NOW AND ARE VERY HAPPY. YOU… Read more »

Perspective
Guest
Perspective

Maybe Nshei chabad newsletter should have a follow up with a therapist and successful blended families to give tips on how to make a second marriage work. It is a huge transition for the new couple and the children, however it should not discourage people to remarry!!!

Dovber
Guest
Dovber

@#10 -Shpigel Jerusalem:

If everyone was able to empathize and show a listening ear, instead of referring to therapists like you do, we wouldn’t need (as many) therapists. Your callous response, devoid of any empathy, does not belong here.

As someone who grew up with a step-mom from age 6, I completely agree with the author of this post. 100% spot on.

Loose vs lose
Guest
Loose vs lose

Does anyone in the CH community know how to spell or use proper grammar?

Another perspective from the same situation
Guest
Another perspective from the same situation

before one of my parents got engaged i remember my parent asking me if its ok to remarry the person my parent was dating. And I said yes,bc who am I to stop someone from getting married? Yes, it did change the home. But why should I as a child stop a parent from marrying their other half? I think what helped me accept it more was that I was asked! It wasnt sprung on me, I also was part of the decision making. Im sharing a different perspective, that yes it does always change the home. But it doesnt… Read more »

A married child's perspective
Guest
A married child's perspective

Dear authtor, I feel your pain. I’m sorry that you had to go through that, especially in the manner that it was done. Dear parent, Please allow me to share a few pointers for parents who choose to remarry, and this includes once your children are married and out of the house! * Please try not to show affection to your new spouse in front of us. I’m talking about things like whispering, touching each other. * It is incredibly painful when the parent avoids mentioning the deceased spouse in front of the new spouse or takes down pictures of… Read more »

Wow, so many must agree with you...
Guest
Wow, so many must agree with you...

Thank you for saying what must be said.

Don't be a martyr - either the kids or the adult
Guest
Don't be a martyr - either the kids or the adult

Life is not always a bowl of roses – so in every single situation GET HELP!!! My mashpia, G-d bless her, absolutely insisted I together with my kids, and then together with my perspective new spouse, spent many months speaking with a very experienced therapist. Alot of people, including my rov and family, told me that we’re both good people and we’ll take good care of the kids, and dont worry it’ll all work out. Only my mashpia kept insisting if it’s good, why not make sure it’s all good all around and work out things right now, before you’re… Read more »

#10
Guest
#10

As a child of a parent that passed away. How can you even say such a thing no one is saying our parents should not get remarried CV, rather the author is just saying a fact of what happens and you also need to take care of your children’s feelngs.

A divorced father
Guest
A divorced father

My dear daughter I don’t ignore your pain – but it is yours alone to deal with .let us see u make the choice to sleep alone , have shabbos alone, have no one to come home to with tragedy looming. It is sad that you take things from such a highly selfish view . I hope u get help .

I am pitied
Guest
I am pitied

I am pitied because I have not remarried after 20 years. Even my children do not know the real reason. Dear author u have articulated it. I haven’t remarried on purpose to protect our family (which some of you may define as broken). I even wonder if my children understand it was because of them and not because I just couldn’t find the second right one. And to those that pity please stop. Spend that energy making your (perhaps not) perfect family even more perfect.

important to know
Guest
important to know

Although not every story turns out like the writer describes, it is a real eye-opener for most of us. When a parent is alone and struggling, and they see their children suffering from the situation in so many ways, it seems as if the only ‘happily ever after’ possibility for them will be if they manage to remarry and have a ‘normal’ home. but here we see how the children (or at least older children) view that attempt at normalcy. For them, it is NOT normal, it is uncomfortable and threatening. In the best case it will be challenging, and… Read more »

To #35
Guest
To #35

In response, I’ll just directly quote the author: “I would beg all single parents to remember that a parent’s first responsibility is towards the children that he or she already has. Children did not choose or ask to be born. If the best thing for them is to wait and marry again after they are grown and settled in their adult lives (and it often is), then I feel that is what the parent—who chose to have the children—should do.” Did you not read the article? let us see you become a stranger in your own home, sit through miserable… Read more »

Citizen Berel
Guest
Citizen Berel

@29

You have made that mistake before and you have mistaken between there and their and they’re don’t lie.

Why you sublimated your petty pedantry into a communal rebuke is beyond me.

every situation is different
Guest
every situation is different

I understand the suffering the author went through. It is never easy. But in many cases remarriage turns out to be a huge blessing. I know a family where the parents divorced and the mother remarried a few years later and it was absolutely the healthiest thing she could have done. her children all turned out balanced and normal because they saw a normal happy marriage and the step father treated them even better than their own father did. Every case is different. Every situation is different. If a parent divorces, it is often very healthy for children to see… Read more »

Same
Guest
Same

I remember my father remarried
I was told after the fact.i had my own family but even visiting i no longer felt i was home.yes he wanted a home and new wife.i get it.But it was no longer my father.I was in a strange home and it was never the same again.

A few words to the author and all that agree with her
Guest
A few words to the author and all that agree with her

Am I the only one who noticed how self centered and narcissistic the author sounds?? No where does the child care that the parent is left to be alone to fend for themselves pay their own bills as well as the kids and be the sole breadwinner and lack of emotional support she needs. Losing a spouse is harder in a way than losing a parent and no one should ever know. I as a child want my mother to get remarried after my father passed. It is healthy and much needed for her emotional, financial, and psychological well being.… Read more »

Literally crying
Guest
Literally crying

This brought up so many painful memories of my mothers remarriage. I hated my “step father” but I had no choice but to go along with it and pretend to be happy. We were all in our teens when our mother got remarried. The discomfort you describe is accurate, I felt that I could never leave my room. My mother pushed a relationship between us that I felt was beyond inappropriate because of tznius but she always found ways of leaving us alone as you described. Yet everyone was so happy for her. They as a couple were often invited… Read more »

Being a teenager is awkward enough
Guest
Being a teenager is awkward enough

It seems as if a parent remarrying is the most uncomfortable for teenagers as if being a teenager isn’t awkward enough. Unless the new stepparent is helpful and takes part of the parenting and financial responsibilities which can make their children’s lives better. Otherwise getting married for emotional reasons isn’t a great idea, there are people who feel lonely in their marriages too but stay for the kids and people who separate and divorce also for the sake of the kids . in the end its all about the children and the author s feeling are not selfish, you can… Read more »

 Not selfish
Guest
Not selfish

Remember kids and teens are emotionally immature. They can not see or understand the value of their parents remarriage on their own. It’s a tough situation…..

Communication and willingness to work
Guest
Communication and willingness to work

Everyone in a home needs respect, love, and their needs met. Everyone. And everyone needs honest and effective communication. Not only to be heard, not only to listen, but also to TALK. And while it’s best to do it from the beginning, it’s never too late to start. I think this letter was important to hear, because it’s telling someone’s experience of what they (and others) go/have gone through as what you DON’T want to happen. And, it’s NOT an automatic thing which happens in all cases; every case is so different. Also remember, there is personal responsibility to be… Read more »

To the Author
Guest
To the Author

From reading your response, my question is did you ever open up to your mother? if you didn’t, you are just at fault.
My parents divorced when I was 9 and I wouldn’t have wished it on anyone, however neither parent remarried. My mother was very lonely as was my father, I would never have tried to stop them as I got older. Today many many years later, they are both lonely and alone.
I strongly feel every situation is unique. Please don’t let your personal experience influence others.

orphan
Guest
orphan

do you really know what it’s like to be an orphan, l’d found my mother at the age of 3, she was no longer alive, my father lost his marbles and abanded us, my sister was 1 year old, the only on who really know what it’s like to be an orphan is malka, do you think foster homes were better, l cannot even begin to stress of these children who do grow up the value of a home however mal funation it is, try moving 24 times and being in 16 different schools, perhaps then you’ll app what your… Read more »

Couldn't agree more
Guest
Couldn't agree more

Having had a parent that never remarried. I couldn’t be more grateful that they never did marry and we grew up with at least a parent that we knew loved and cared for us more than anyone in the world. I can’t imagine where I’d be if they had remarried. And how little if any relationship i would have had with my parent.it’s so essential that if you have children you decide that they matter a billion times more than your spouse and make them, because they are, priority over any and everything. I feel so sorry for the one… Read more »

#20. So wrong
Guest
#20. So wrong

This is not a ‘terrible experience’. My mother remarried. After my father died. I am grown and married. And i resonate with most of this. And yes. Everyone else ‘lovessss’ how happy my mother is. Some tough guy makes her every decision. And she has to please him. She is always smiling. But my kids lost a bubby and our closeness is done. Reality. Some ppl forget they have children who valued an emotional closeness that is gone post remarrieage.

wow
Guest
wow

reading this article. so so true. all those accusing the author should be ashamed. This is reality for her and for many. how can u point a finger when u were not ever in her shoes. I know many ppl who experienced this. it hurts.

Wicked stepmother
Guest
Wicked stepmother

It’s no wonder that so many fairy tales feature a wicked stepmother. I am one, who met my stepchild while dating. She attended our wedding. She definitely was displaced and made sure her mother heard about all the injustices. Therapy helped. Stepfamily literature helped. We learned we had typical stepfamily challenges. Looking back over the last 15 years I realize now losing a parent to divorce or death is probably a lifelong trauma and having a stepdaughter try her best to sabotage our marriage is the pits. I don’t blame her, as she needed help that her parents finally came… Read more »

SR Kohn
Guest
SR Kohn

I must tell you how very accurate this portrayal is. I wrote a letter to ncn detailing more of my thoughts on this but trust me when I say that if not done properly, I’ve seen many divorces in second marriages. I don’t think the author is saying never ever remarry. I think she is putting it out there just how many challenges can come up. I think shadchanim Askanim and even the parent themselves, forget how many layers of complex relationships there are to navigate in a second marriage. Realism is the foundation to a solid second marriage Preparation… Read more »

Rules
Guest
Rules

!) Parents: don’t force or even dream of any relationship. Expect the least and maybe gain the most.
2) Kids- Never interfere in the shalom bayis of your parent (s). Never.
It’s said the greatest gift to give children is a stable marriage.

This is why I never considered re marriage
Guest
This is why I never considered re marriage

I thought about it many times but I had very big concerns about my children, four of whom still lived at home.
Now they all say ‘why don’t you meet someone ma?’
Now it is not so easy in my early 60’s to meet a man.
Just my story…… my kids came first.

Interesting
Guest
Interesting

When my father died at a relatively young age, I wanted my mother to remarry. My sister didn’t. As it turns out, nearly 25 years later mom is still alone… and lonely. My sister & I were both married when our father passed away very suddenly. It makes a huge difference I suppose but I felt my sister was very selfish. But for a child, a teenager, watching mom/dad remarry a stranger who enters the home, or uproots the children to a new environment & makes new rules must be a nightmare. The author definitely makes some important and valid… Read more »

Agree
Guest
Agree

this article is amazing! my mother also remarried and i felt that this article is the story of my life. on the one hand i want my mother to be happy. however just like the article said when you have a step-parent thrusted on you who you dont like is difficult.

Important
Guest
Important

This article has started a very important discussion and brings awareness to an issue many haven’t thought about. Just curious – is there anywhere online to read the original article by Rabbi Shusterman?

My story... I'm 13 now
Guest
My story... I'm 13 now

My parents divorced when I was 2 and my mom remarried when I was 5. They married 2 months after first meeting. I have to say I love my stepdad – he’s really great. I still see my dad a lot, but really enjoy spending time with my step father too.

Interestingly, I have a girl in my class whose parents divorced and mom remarried. Her mom then divorced and she went to live with her stepfather. I’m not sure how it worked regarding tznius, but she liked her stepfather most among all the parents…

love this article
Guest
love this article

Second marriages is painful for the children whose parent died. you the child feel as if you are living at home but its not your home anymore.
Number 10 your wrong the author might need therapy because of all the damage that was caused to her or him
To 35 your child isn’t selfish they just feel the void of loneliness
Remarriages working is very slim. It depends if the new spouse has kids.
42, 45 you are wrong

Agree to 56
Guest
Agree to 56

On point!

One serious downside, c"v,  to a parent NOT remarrying
Guest
One serious downside, c"v, to a parent NOT remarrying

My parents split up when I was little, and so I lived with my mother. Somehow my parents’ pain (not wanting to see each other even for purposes of the kids seeing their father) combined with the fact that my father was not so strong willed, led to my siblings and I having almost no contact with our father for over ten years. Then our mother got sick and died! I was still at home (the siblings were out already). I really wish my mother had remarried. I ended up with relatives I hardly knew, who really resented having to… Read more »

A look backwards
Guest
A look backwards

My parents divorced when I was 2. My father remarried when I was 6, my mother never remarried, saying she I was her primary focus. As I grew up, I did resent the fact that my father remarried and I had a stepmother. While very nice, I felt like I wasn’t living at home. And indeed I wasn’t – not at my father’s house or my mother’s house. My home had been broken, I just wasn’t mature enough to realize that. In that sense I had no home. Now I’m 20. My father has a very nice life. My mother… Read more »

Aim habonim smeicha
Guest
Aim habonim smeicha

This is exactly why I am pushing off remarriage. It is bad enough that kids went through divorce, followed by their father’s remarriage. My kids need and deserve to have a place they can call HOME, where they feel safe and secure. I will consider remarriage when they establish their own home or move out.

POINTS NOT MENTIONED
Guest
POINTS NOT MENTIONED

I have been through a parent’s remarriage (after death). Just a few points that I would like to bring up that was not mentioned. 1. FAVORTISM: It is extremely hurtful to the family when a step parent favors his/hers own children. It is something that can be done unintentionally, but needs to be noticed. If you only want your married children for Yom Tov and not your spouse’s, that is a problem 2. LACK OF INTEREST: If you visit your step children’s homes, even if you have no interest in their families, please pretend. Please try to be polite and enjoy… Read more »

Validating
Guest
Validating

Thank you for articulating the thoughts and feelings of many children and teens with step parents. Some of the stuff you wrote were so true I couldnt help but screenshot! Yes, the parents happiness is vital, but not at the expense of the childrens. No child, (especially an orphan), should ever be made to feel like they dont have a home; which is exactly what happens in many cases. Please refrain from commenting negatively unless you have a personel experience in the matter.

When my parents divorced
Guest
When my parents divorced

When my parents divorced, I felt that “home”. True, I had my mother’s home, and my father’s home, but that wasn’t home. Home was where my parents and family lived together.

Both my parents remarried and are happy. I’m married too, now, and very happy for them, and happy for myself that I’m not burdened with a lonely parent.

At home in both my parents' homes, along with their new spouses
Guest
At home in both my parents' homes, along with their new spouses

Both my parents remarried after their divorce. They’re happy, and we the kids are happy. They’ve moved on with their lives and we now have 2 happy, loving homes instead of one home with 2 parents at each other’s throats.

Agree with #44
Guest
Agree with #44

A parents sole responsibility is their children. It is selfish for a parent to remarry for their own happiness at the expense of their children’s security and emotional health. Yes, a parent will become a better parent when they have a spouse to support them. But a child is still forming and growing and needs the security that their parents are there for them and them only. When you have kids, you are putting yourself into a position that requires 100% sacrifice. If having a stranger come into the child’s home will destroy the child’s faith in the parent, the… Read more »

#69
Guest
#69

” growing and needs the security that their parents are there for them and them only. When you have kids, you are putting yourself into a position that requires 100% sacrifice”

Now apply your words to married parents who have strife in their home, are busy with their own pursuits, are not there for their children- are you suggesting they not have children? Are you suggesting they divorce and get their priorities straight?
If there is a death, does that mean the children can never have a 2 adult home?

A second time around dater with children
Guest
A second time around dater with children

I think it is smart to acknowledge that second mairrages have the potential to go awry as can first ones. The success rate of second mairrages are smaller than first ones due to the many variables and complications involved that are not present by a first marriage. However that does not mean that they cannot be successful if done right. There are instances where children have benefited and formed healthy and positive relationships from step parents. The key is to have two emotionally healthy adults who are able to navigate the sensitive and bumpy journey ahead and engage in family… Read more »

Shocked!
Guest
Shocked!

At the insensitivity of some comments…to accuse children of being selfish, needing help etc… Please remember these are young children that have the right to their feelings…and parents do need to take that in consideration…every situation is different and the point is that kids needs should come first

It's all not simple
Guest
It's all not simple

I lost my spouse and have kids. I haven’t yet remarried. Yet kids AND parent’s feelings have to be taken into consideration. Not ONLY the kids! Yes the kids are important but so are the parents! It should be obvious. And no one should ever judge a widow!! Woe is to them!!!

No one
Guest
No one

Should be judging someone who lost their spouse. You cannot judge until you’ve been there. Obviously you have to take care of and always take into consideration what’s best for the kids but a parent should not have to be alone for many years. it’s not ALL about the kids. Everything has to be taken into consideration and every situation is different. And kids can be very selfish apparently even adults are super clueless as to how difficult it is to be a widow! Hashem put it in the Torah to be careful how you treat those in difficult situations.… Read more »

From a frum psychologist Thank you
Guest
From a frum psychologist Thank you

Finally someone speaks up, finally the children have a voice. This article should bring awareness to everyone.

so true
Guest
so true

every word true
from experience!

An alternative suggestion
Guest
An alternative suggestion

When a close relative (divorced) was dating his (current) wife, they went to a therapist for several months before they got married. And the children had many opportunities to get to know her before any public announcement.

A parent's first responsibility is to...THEMSELVES
Guest
A parent's first responsibility is to...THEMSELVES

I read your response to Rabbi Schusterman’s article on remarriage — also with interest. I also read what Rabbi Schusterman had to say. I found your response to be selfish and childish. You would have your mother/father remain single, without a partner, without spousal support (emotional, physical) until YOU were ready to leave the home. You would deny your parent, who may still be of childbearing age, the opportunity to have more children. You would relegate your parent to the lesser position in the family than yourself, the child. You believe children are more important than parents, obviously. Yes, remarriage… Read more »

Others have needs too.
Guest
Others have needs too.

Of course it’s such a huge change in your life. This man will never be your father. But have you given this man a chance? Maybe he has a lot to offer. He knew your mother had children when he married her so it’s likely he planned on including you in his life. It seems like you have a busy life and it’s not just because of your mother’s new husband. It is natural for teens to become busy with their own life outside the house. As this process happens, your mother will become less of a focus in your… Read more »

dont rush remarriage
Guest
dont rush remarriage

Remarrying with teenagers is hard, just wait a few more years before marrying and moving someone into home. Also, too many people who have posted make it seem they need to be married to have happiness. One should become secure and happy being single, serving the lord. If a spouse comes along, it should just be to add to your happiness. One reason the divorce rate is so high is because people marry to “complete” themselves”, to have another person fill our needs. this is what modern culture teaches. True happiness only comes from having a personal relationship with god.… Read more »

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