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Tuesday, 23 Shevat, 5782
  |  January 25, 2022

Speaking the Unspeakable

Shliach and licensed therapist Rabbi Avremel Blesofsky of New Jersey on the proper response to the disgraced author accused of serial abuse and the proper way to support those who have been hurt. Full Story

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Thank you.
January 3, 2022 8:26 pm

Thank you for these wise words. They reflect the situation in a clear manner.

“Careful, thoughtful, individual and communal responses will support those who were abused and give them the space to heal.”… So true!

Good words
January 3, 2022 9:01 pm

How do we stop the abuser when they are protected by the school ?

Trusted Authority
Reply to  Good words
January 4, 2022 12:08 am

Bring the abuse to the attention of a trusted Rav, Mashpia, therapist outside the school. If you know abuse is happening in a school, it is an obligation to speak up. Hatzlacha!

Unfortunately
Reply to  Trusted Authority
January 5, 2022 5:06 pm

Sometime the Rov or mashupia knows well the abuser or his wife knows the Rav’s wife or your children play with his children and becomes very uncomfortable better to go to the authorities

B&N
Reply to  Good words
January 4, 2022 12:40 am

A good question. When it happens it’s a serious problem, but it is not what this article was about.

report abuse
Reply to  Good words
January 4, 2022 10:48 am

you call the authorities. you don’t go to the school. Unfortunately, like it’s clearly written in this article – in our community it’s so hard for people to believe it’s true since they can’t fathom doing something of this nature themselves. CALL. Save lives.
Child protective services
Police

Fellow shliach @Oz
January 4, 2022 12:35 am

Thank you so much for bringing clarity to the issue.

Well said
January 4, 2022 1:09 am

A thoughtful and objective response-much needed.

Thank you for this.
January 4, 2022 1:37 am

Wise words. Makes sense

If the survivors are our priority
January 4, 2022 4:16 am

We should do with the books what the survivors would want. That should determine whether the books are burned, trashed or recycled. Personally I would not want to repurpose those books.

CHT
January 4, 2022 8:52 am

I really hope that this tragic situation will show other abusers that suicide is not a solution. The best way for abuser to make a tshuvah is to do everything in his power to ease the pain of his victims, even if it requires taking tortures pain upon himself.

Chaya
Reply to  CHT
January 4, 2022 3:32 pm

Wish that would be a reality. Those ppl don’t have it in them to make tshuva. Once an abuser always one.

Unfortunately
Reply to  Chaya
January 5, 2022 5:09 pm

You’re right it’s a mental sickness

fertile ground
January 4, 2022 11:07 am

The issue is that this was going on for years and swept under the rug. Something is terribly wrong with the way things are handled with the abusers. Abusers find a fertile ground in the orthodox community where their actions are not addressed early on.

Mendel
January 4, 2022 1:01 pm

Thank you Rabbi Blesofsky for your wise words. We would like to hear more from you. Do you do community talks?

Well written
January 4, 2022 3:07 pm

Thank you for the clarity On such a difficult topic

Me
January 4, 2022 3:54 pm

Some who suffered such abuse cannot rebuild their lives and are tarnished for decades while the abuser gains fame and fortune. My idea is that the abuser should do whatever they are able to, to repair the damage and allow the victim to live a normal life, whether it’s paying for counselling, or whatever the victim needs to heal. That imho would be a road to teshuva
How to get them to do it ? Don’t know. But I think it’s essential.

succinct and conscientious
January 6, 2022 1:01 pm

Thank you for your response. I appreciate that community leaders such as yourself and Shimon Jacobson are speaking out on this important issue. Abuse has been swept under the rug in all areas for far too long. Most important is that the victim/survivor (however they prefer to be called) is believed, supported, and treated kindly. Moshiach now!!

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