Thursday, 17 Nisan, 5784
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Some Sobering Perspective Before Going Back to School

From the COLlive inbox: "The system" sounds like a rigid, loveless behemoth that pushes everyone into cookie-cutter shapes, forcing everyone to either shape up or ship out. A little perspective is needed. Full Story

Oholei Torah Mesivta Begins New School Year

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August 28, 2023 9:15 pm

The start of a new school year is always challenging. 1)to get to know each child
2)to get to know the rules and cooperation.
Between the first and 2nd week of school it is proper to phone each parent from your class and what is going to be expected out of them. It also gives the rebbe and morah to get a feeling for what you expect.

Here we go... That bit contradictory to article...
Reply to  Esther
August 28, 2023 9:37 pm

From a parent non-teacher:

The teachers do not need to hear what the parents expect. The only thing you should expect is Torah being taught and absorbed by your child.

If the teacher needed to worry about each parent’s expectations, they would be going in complete circles.

Please just tell your child’s teacher about your child. Not what you “expect” of them.

Quite frankly, you are not their boss.

Reply to  Here we go... That bit contradictory to article...
August 28, 2023 11:24 pm

Quite frankly – you are their boss.
Jewish tradition was always for parents to hire and pay their children’s melamed directly.

Reply to  Boss
August 29, 2023 11:08 am

the parents’ opinion is daas baal habayis, which is heipech daas Torah.

quite frankly ?
Reply to  Boss
August 29, 2023 1:06 pm

You aren’t the teachers boss.
Children would b in huge trouble if every teacher had to answer to 20 different bosses. If you privately hire your child’s teacher is another story but if you are signing up to a school u need to work together and defer to them.

Only if...
Reply to  Boss
August 29, 2023 4:59 pm

As you said, in those days a parent hired the Rebbi for their son. These days you are contributing to a collective pool and entrusting an entity (i.e. Cheder/Yeshiva) to oversee that. Therefore your concerns should be directed to the school principal and/or admin.

Reply to  Here we go... That bit contradictory to article...
August 29, 2023 3:03 am

What parents should expect is that the teacher cares for your child at least half as much as you do – or should. Absorbing knowledge is not within the teacher’s job description: they can give over the information in the best way they know, but how well the child “gets it” is up to his/her G-d-given abilities. What you SHOULD expect is that your child is safe and loved during the 7 hours she spends in school. Absorbing knowledge and getting A’s are bonuses.

No that's wrong
Reply to  WRONG!!!
August 31, 2023 8:14 pm

You’re saying a teacher’s job is to be a good babysitter for 7 hours and not actually teach? No accountability whatsoever?

Reply to  Here we go... That bit contradictory to article...
August 31, 2023 8:03 pm

Sounds like a certain former Democrat governor from Virginia..”I don’t think parents should be telling schools what they should teach” Terry McAuliffe

2 opposites do not blend
August 28, 2023 11:08 pm

The system and Torah have contrary beliefs. Either base your classroom on the system or Torah. But you cant expect a child to be imposed to mold into the system and not misbehave. Misbehavior is the main core of the system, nothing what to do with the child. Make sure you are not teaching children contradictory foundations and blaming the child for misbehavior that the system aka you are implying/imposing which leads to confused children that escalate and result into mental health in their later years…

public school
Reply to  2 opposites do not blend
August 29, 2023 10:16 am

any jewish school is better than a public school

Reply to  2 opposites do not blend
August 29, 2023 1:04 pm

If u don’t believe in the system u shouldn’t b sending ur kids there. Don’t send and complain. The system I know is definitely in line with Torah BH and trying their best to help each child.
Do your research and send to a system u trust. And if u don’t trust anyone, homeschool.

August 28, 2023 11:20 pm

Coming from a “post-system” girl who spent most of her years surrounded by system haters, it’s about time someone spoke for this silent (scared) minority. No one wants to be labeled as “old school” and so we let the loud, often ungrateful and uneducated voices take precedence. Let’s start appreciating the system for all the good it has given and continued to give and not make blanket statements.

Eradicate Homework
August 29, 2023 8:03 am

We send our kids to school for 9 hours a day. They don’t get home till after 5pm. Leave them be! 9 hours a day should be more than sufficient for them to learn and study all they have to… When they finally get home, let them eat sour and have some down time and quality family time, followed by a restful night without any pressure from school. Nothing wrong with 15 minutes of chazara on Shabbos afternoon… But homework = child abuse… And many times parent abuse as well. We write op eds about parents unplugging when they get… Read more »

Reply to  Eradicate Homework
August 31, 2023 8:07 pm

What you’re saying is against everything we know about memory. People need repetition (ideally spaced repetition and active recall) otherwise all those hours spent in class will be for nothing. In one ear and out the next morning.

public school
August 29, 2023 10:14 am

can jews please rescue all the lost jewish souls who are stuck in public schools and save their soul from being destroyed by being in public school! Find the ones who are legitimately jewish and then get them into the jewish schools instead.

August 29, 2023 11:32 am

I made the mistake of believing the schools about the “partnership” between school and home. I trusted that if I brought concerns about my child to the teacher it would help them help my child. I found out very quickly that this information was only used against my child, and not to help them in any way. I never made that mistake again.

Best wishes for a successful school year!
August 29, 2023 12:23 pm

Very nice article,
What I would like to see in each yeshiva is אוזן קשבת /mashpia/ mediator/ Social worker/psychologist available for the student’s needs who can listen and address the issues and vice versa before it’s too late.
And I’m hoping for the open communication between the staff and the parents.

I wish all of us to shlep only nahes from our children! I want every teacher to see the potential and an individual in each child without labeling them, giving all kids the opportunity to succeed and feel proud of being Lubavitcher!

כתיבה וחתימה טובה לשנה טובה ומתוקה!

Doesn't have to contradict
August 29, 2023 1:43 pm

Validation and boundaries do not have to be controversial. A teacher can have rules and expectations and “not* give into everything a child wants but also be understanding that children are human and may have feelings about things. The boundaries can be kept but validation and empathy is what makes children feel safe and understood and actually far more likely to thrive in the “system”

August 29, 2023 5:07 pm

Maybe Chinuch isn’t therapy, but if children need to go to therapy because of the school environment or the such…something should probably be changed

There’s a fine line between discipline vs bullying, school work/home work vs what seems to be endless every minute of the day and night work, rules that are set to help the flow of the class vs controlling when/if kids can drink water in class or use the restroom, etc.

Reply to  Hmm
August 30, 2023 5:31 am

they don’t let kids drink water or go to the restroom????????? that’s INSANE!!!!!! that’s against the Torah!!!!!!! don’t you DARE ever do that to a human!

August 30, 2023 12:42 pm

when i was learning in semenary in kfar chabad,the words ‘chanoch Lnaar al pi darco’ were ingrained in my mind..when i was enrolling my fifth child into one of our leading yeshivas,i was shocked to hear words coming out of the mouth of principal-“i dont need a headache” ,being said in regards to my child.He was a child that could not sit for long,but he was respectfull,the biggest trouble he did ,was to clown around and it was mostly because he was bored..he just needed someone to take interest in him and teach him al pi darko….i felt the system… Read more »

Reply to  mother
September 1, 2023 12:30 am

Or maybe send your child to a smaller school that can accomadate them and where they will actually thrive.