Create Account
ב"ה
Friday, 19 Iyyar, 5779
  |  May 24, 2019

    Shliach Reveals He Survived Abuse

    In a brave move, Utah Shliach Rabbi Avremi Zippel testified against his childhood nanny for years of molestation and abuse. Full Story

    You Could Win: Wedding or $50K

    Next Story »

    NYPD Arrests Hit and Run Driver

    79
    Opinions and Comments

    Please Login to comment
    avatar
      Subscribe  
    newest oldest most voted
    Notify of
    Courageous!
    Guest
    Courageous!

    Avremi, you are truly courageous!
    It should be noted that Elizebeth Smart played a key role in assisting Avremi accomplish this.
    Over the past few years I spoke with many people who have been abused in this way. The suffering is terrible. It is beautiful to see a photo of a beautiful family. The beauty should spread from outside in, and remove the terrible pain.

    Keep strong!

    Thank you!!!
    Guest
    Thank you!!!

    On behalf of so many victims of abuse, I’m so grateful this amazing Shliach is doing this. This will make parents more aware and victims more likely to get help.

    A inspiration!!
    Guest
    A inspiration!!

    You are truly a inspiration for what you have done for me and, showed everyone that it is ok to come out with this story!
    You should be very proud of yourself!
    Thank you!!

    Thank you!
    Guest
    Thank you!

    So courageous and so inspiring!
    Thank you helping so many victims!

    so brave
    Guest
    so brave

    very very admirable. inspiring to many. hope that others find the strength to come out with these stories in the hopes that it will give children and adults alike a voice to put an end to abuse.

    wishing you and your family menuchas hanefesh.

    with the old breed
    Guest
    with the old breed

    Good going. Still standing still strong.

    Avremi!!
    Guest
    Avremi!!

    You are a warrior!
    Thanks for sharing this story!
    You will be helping so many people!!

    trb
    Guest
    trb

    SO incredibly brave.
    people are suffering all kinds of abuse and we have no idea what they are going through. The excellent Mental Health workshops are teaching alot, and I hope they are teaching people to recognize what abuse it.

    Wow
    Guest
    Wow

    This is so amazing
    A chassidisher shliach, speaking up.
    Takes real courage, and bravery, and sends a very powerful message

    Way to go!!!
    Guest
    Way to go!!!

    I know zaides who are still keeping their story a secret……..

    thank you for sharing
    Guest
    thank you for sharing

    such bravery!!!!

    WOW!!!
    Guest
    WOW!!!

    I hope that this will give hope to all those survivors out there to go get the help they need to run the lives they deserve to have!

    Kol hakavod!
    Guest
    Kol hakavod!

    How brave of this young man to come out and face his abuser.
    This will hopefully encourage others to do the same.
    I’m just wondering; would he be as congratulated had his abuser been a chassidic rabbi?

    Brave, powerful, strong
    Guest
    Brave, powerful, strong

    Reading the full article in the above mentioned comment…There is incredible bravery you have displayed, taking this, testifying, and reliving pain. Most definitely a survivor. Thank you for sharing your story, and allowing others to really gain.
    May Hashem bentch you to have the ability to continue growing, feeling fulfilled, content, and continue inspiring people in the incredible way I am sure you do.

    Incredible
    Guest
    Incredible

    It takes much strength and courage to face your childhood traumas and to fight a fight that most people give up on, especially in our world where everything is taboo and we are scared of what others may think. Just like you were inspired by people who took a stand, you will also inspire others to do the same.

    amazing
    Guest
    amazing

    TRULY AMAZING

    The pain and shame
    Guest
    The pain and shame

    My husband revealed to me only recently after 20 years of marriage that he was s abused by a rebbi in yeshiva. Yemach shemo.

    AMAZING!!
    Guest
    AMAZING!!

    Your so strong! You’re incredible! Just wondering did he want it on collive and everyone in lubavitch
    to know about it?

    to #18
    Guest
    to #18

    Really a shame to say the very least. that this happened to your husband, but still perhaps shouldnt say yemach shemo for a yid.

    To 14
    Guest
    To 14

    Very good point

    Blown away
    Guest
    Blown away

    Thank you for sharing your story. I can only try to imagine how difficult this journey has been. Hashem bless you for speaking up, and may you find a place of peace and happiness at the time that’s right for you.

    A very important part of the article is...
    Guest
    A very important part of the article is...

    This part at the end, which you may not get to, or gloss over. It’s human nature to not want to hear or deal with negative things in life, especially through our children, but as he advises, keep a very honest, open, and non-judgmental relationship with your kids, so things are nipped in the bud. “Rabbi Zippel, now a father himself, said his past hasn’t made him overprotective, and he deeply trusts the nannies he and his wife employ for their two children, Menny, 3, and Menachem, 18 months. He said rather than becoming hypervigilant about protecting his kids, he… Read more »

    Thank you for sharing.
    Guest
    Thank you for sharing.

    Very brave.

    Thank you
    Guest
    Thank you

    Thank you. You are very brave and strong .

    Parents pay heed
    Guest
    Parents pay heed

    Parents read the original article. Do speak to your children about appropriate & inappropriate touch. Speak about boundaries & about their bodies being their own. There are now great children’s story books for frum kids like “let’s stay safe”.
    Parents & particularly shluchim please take note that your children take precedence over your shlichus!!! Do not delegate your children to “watching movies” with non Jewish nanies.
    Employ people to mop your floors, wash your dishes NOT to enstrust your precious children to.

    These people who come out after abuse are HEROS.
    Guest
    These people who come out after abuse are HEROS.

    Nothing else to be said.

    Old school
    Guest
    Old school

    I won’t diminish the courage it took for him to publicize his personal situation or rather what happened to him in the past but I come from an era and proudly so that certain things should not be aired in the public for very obvious reasons not because we have to put it under the rug but because it it does more damage than good.

    A true hero!
    Guest
    A true hero!

    The bravery here is UNBELIEVABLE! A real chosid!!!

    Kol HaKavod
    Guest
    Kol HaKavod

    Kol HaKavod to you for sharing your story and becoming vulnerable to the world. Have such deep respect and admiration towards you and I hope you can find some healing now that justice is being served

    Inspirational
    Guest
    Inspirational

    Very impressive – his act of courage must have just saved 100’s of lives from abuse or to have the courage to share their story .. now THAT’S a shliach …

    to #19
    Guest
    to #19

    if you read the article , he wants every1 to know

    the sad truth..
    Guest
    the sad truth..

    to #14…do you know how many did come forward to report it? and do you know that most of them were told to shut up..don’t ruin a rebbe’s reputation, he needs the parnasa.it never happened..they are lying, making it up…and then we wonder why they went off the derech!!?! and on the flip side – do you know how many were falsely accused!!???

    Credit to his wife!
    Guest
    Credit to his wife!

    I’m sure it was her support that helped him come out like this and move on!
    true aishes chayil! May you have the best marriage and true sholom bayis and emese nachas from your beautiful children!

    This is so scary and crazy
    Guest
    This is so scary and crazy

    We need more help advice and ideas of how to protect and keep our children safe
    Rabbi Zippel maybe write an article or send a video of your tips or ideas or thoughts to parents on how to protect their children please Thank You!

    Good for you Avremi!
    Guest
    Good for you Avremi!

    Keep strong! I’m inspired by your courage! I can imagine how scary it is, good for you!

    Curious
    Guest
    Curious

    Why is so important that he is a shliach?
    He is a yid suffering and that makes the story more powerful!
    Do people thinking shluchim are not human?
    Having the word shliach in the title somehow implies it is a shlichus issue and therefore it is degrading to the establishment of shlichus.
    This is not a story that happened as a result of shlichus or being shliach. It can happened to anyone anywhere who hires a nanny, sends his kids to school, camp etc. or r”l has a sick mother or father…

    Sad truth
    Guest
    Sad truth

    As a man abused by a frum woman as a child, I hate to say it, but the truth is this story would never have seen the light of day if this woman had been Frum or even Jewish.

    Kol Hakavod
    Guest
    Kol Hakavod

    Rabbi Zippel, thank you SO much for speaking up and creating a healthy, safe space for others to do the same.

    Incredably Brave!
    Guest
    Incredably Brave!

    Thank you for doing this!!!

    Wishing you many brachos
    Guest
    Wishing you many brachos

    Your bravery is incredible — no words for it — and you have already helped many others B”H. I wish you healing. I wish you great success in all your endeavors. Moshiach Now.

    A collive reader
    Guest
    A collive reader

    I have tremdous respect for you.
    Hashem should give you tremdous strength to continue in all that you do and immense comfort for all that you have been through.

    Thank G-d He didn’t go through JCW
    Guest
    Thank G-d He didn’t go through JCW

    Thank Gd Rabbi Zippel went to the police. JCW has compromised its integrity.

    Responsibility of every religious Jew
    Guest
    Responsibility of every religious Jew

    Without detracting from Rabbi Zippel’s courage and strength to come forward with his story,it is quite important to focus on a different aspect. When reporting the story in the Utah newspaper, the article mentions many times the fact that he is an Orthodox and Chassidic Jew and that there is a big emphasis in those circles to limit s exposure and activity,to the extent that certain scenes in movies are fast forwarded when watched. The insinuations of this and similar articles are that people that are more permissive in this area are less likely to feel the shame and guilt… Read more »

    Protection.
    Guest
    Protection.

    What about teaching children about Yichud and Shomer Nogea

    Solution
    Guest
    Solution

    Every school and camp needs cameras and see through glass doors.

    wow
    Guest
    wow

    what bravery and courage

    To number 19
    Guest
    To number 19

    I think it is wonderful that this family is coming forward. It is not easy, they are very brave! But I think every parent should read Rabbi Zippel’s story to help protect and educate their children. Parents need to have conversations with their children from a very young age about names of body parts and what is inappropriate touch and sexual abuse. Parents need to let their kids know that they can talk to then about anything without the parent getting upset. Open communication is key. Kol tov

    Kol Hakovod!!
    Guest
    Kol Hakovod!!

    ,Sorry this happened to him for so many years ! Was wondering how come he did not know about the mitzva of Yichud?Wishing only happiness always!

    Sheina
    Guest
    Sheina

    All my respect!
    And let me tell you, everyone is carrying their own peckle.
    From your maamorim chavrusa in MSY

    Brave
    Guest
    Brave

    It’s truly amazing that you have not let this ruin you. It’s important to talk to our children about what abuse is from a very young age and engage them in conversations daily so that they will get used to expressing themselves and never hold in any wrongdoings

    To Avremi and Shaina
    Guest
    To Avremi and Shaina

    I have never met you … but this is such a brave act to come out 100% and share your story / your personal and private story with all of us – for the greater good. You looked beyond yourself and your children and your family and you thought of ‘what is the best and correct thing to do?’ and that was to shine a light and be an example and bring truth to the surface. That these things exist…. all too often, right around the bend. And the more we know, the more aware we are, the greater the… Read more »

    this is amazing!!
    Guest
    this is amazing!!

    wow eye opener MOSHIACH NOW

    To 20- re: yimach shemo
    Guest
    To 20- re: yimach shemo

    Yach shemo has been said about (I believe y….)- a yid
    said by rebbeim, either FR or Rebbe

    Although this not not clarify the parameters of when it’s ok to say this regarding a yid

    Good point!

    Thank you
    Guest
    Thank you

    So many people are still carrying the shame and guilt of abuse around. And their families are becoming secondary victims also suffering from the abuse their spouse suffered. I know your courage will help others. You will help others. Such bravery.

    #TEAMAVREMI
    Guest
    #TEAMAVREMI

    WHAT A HERO

    We have to go after not just the abusers
    Guest
    We have to go after not just the abusers

    But also the enablers. The ones who give support to the abusers, those that try to discredit the victims even if they bring proof, those that put pressure to keep quiet because ‘it won’t make us look good’…you know what really doesn’t look good? When something is really there and you covered it up. Because in the end, the truth will come out and everyone will see if you were a hero or the one that stood in the way

    wow
    Guest
    wow

    kudos to you for saying your story!! so so brave and very much impactful

    To #28
    Guest
    To #28

    If “old school” means being modest and discerning about what you say, to whom, and in what circumstance, I would describe myself that way too. However, THIS, Aderaba, does much more good than damage! Rabbi Zippel is giving encouragement to others who were abused and deserve to at least mitigate their suffering by knowing that they are not alone. For that I say Kol HaKavod–and may shining a light on this aberrant and sick behavior help bring an end to it!

    Avremel thanks for sharing!
    Guest
    Avremel thanks for sharing!

    Very inspiring, only good from sharing this. There is nothing to be shamed of, in this age of transparency this does much good for people suffering from similar experiences.
    This also let’s people know that they too can overcome suffering and obstacles and thought that they may be living lies to be able to accomplish and get far in life.
    You’re an inspiration Avremi and a Kiddush Hashem.

    To # 59
    Guest
    To # 59

    I don’t know who you are or how old you are, but I’m quite sure that I have many years over you hence more experience in life than you, and I’ll repeat again that without a doubt there’s more damage than gain with this post. As far as helping other victims of abuse, there are many venues that can and should be used, they DON’T need a fellow victims story on a public forum. As far as this victim is concerned, with all due sensitivity and understanding I believe not too far down the road he’ll see that due to… Read more »

    brave man
    Guest
    brave man

    i’m so curious as to how she got away with abusing him so many times ?

    Supporting Zippel’s Parents
    Guest
    Supporting Zippel’s Parents

    Can’t imagine what the parents are going through.

    Kol Hakovod!
    Guest
    Kol Hakovod!

    This is very good to start the conversation, a need to teach Yichud in school and at home .It seems some parents are not aware of the special mitzva of Yichud and Shomer nogea.Parents can protect their children by making them aware of Yichud and shomer nogea..Keeping these mitzvos will keep our families safe!!!

    Communal response !
    Guest
    Communal response !

    Keeping the Mitzvos of Shomer Nogea will keep everybody safe

    To 44
    Guest
    To 44

    Thank you! Best comment.

    Sad
    Guest
    Sad

    I am so sorry to hear of the long suffering the Rabbi endured. So proud and glad he went for help and rabbi and family are healthy.I do not however think this personal and shocking account should be publicized here.Just a personal opinion that others may share too.

    to #28
    Guest
    to #28

    YOU are a closet abuser, I bet.

    Your message falls flat and says volumes.

    This article and announcement by this Shaliach is beyond courageous I have no words.

    Respect!

    COL thanks for being in the forefront and posting this.

    To #44
    Guest
    To #44

    Of cause there is way more guilt, pressure and shame involved when the victim is a part of frum community with higher expectations (compared to society outside of reclusive, strict communties). How much greater therefore is the level of courage and strength that takes for victims of sexual abuse (or any other abuse) within frum community to come forward and confront their abusers publicly. It is mind boggling how some individuals within frum community ( particularly those in leadership positions) are more concerned with the image the orthodox community projects to outsiders, both Jewish and non-jewish than dealing with horrendous… Read more »

    @#29
    Guest
    @#29

    I’m old school too.
    Certain this our young adults do make me cringe. Especially revealing with tight clothing what they call the baby bump, and inviting even strangers to feel the baby inside.
    These things should be 100% private. Remember waiting 5 months before telling your friends you were expecting?
    Yes certain things must remain private.
    However child sexual abuse must be made public because it is the only way to prevent other children from being abused. This travesty must come to an end.

    To #18 and #20
    Guest
    To #18 and #20

    No, yemach shemoh is not appropriate. Far better would be to widely publicize shemoh. All abusers, no matter who, what, where, or when, need to be very publicly outed. Abuse thrives in secrecy. Publicity is the only way to safeguard against future victims.

    "Old School" perpetuates the problem
    Guest
    "Old School" perpetuates the problem

    I have immense respect for Rabbi Zippel, his wife and his family, who I pray will stand behind him now and also down the road, even when people like “old school” might plant a seed of doubt if this was the right thing to do. I wholeheartedly believe it is. I t is the only way to break a destructive cycle that creates either broken people or abusers who in the past were victims themselves. Truth and openness is the only way out of pervasive shame. Truth and openness is the only way we can further protect our children. Thank… Read more »

    #28 #61 "Old school"
    Guest
    #28 #61 "Old school"

    I consider myself old school when it comes to aidelkeit, tzius, chinuch matters etc. However, the buck COMPLETELY STOPS at ABUSE! Be it Sexual, Emotional or Psychological. The damage of a communal power & control operating system that allows predators to thrive and have cover is incomparably more damaging… What Avremi has done will save countless lives and show the thousands of ppl struggling with yiddishkeit because of similar experiences that shame and cover up is not “old school yiddishkeit” but “old school authoritarianism”. Your words convey a deep lack of empathy and understanding of the psychological trauma victims deal… Read more »

    to 28
    Guest
    to 28

    Yes, its uncomfortable. but it will bring awareness. The era that you are proud to be part of, is partially responsible for the amount of abuse happening today. By not talking about it and making it a discussion, by sweeping it under the rug, you allowed the issue to fester and become rampant. And now, so many suffer.

    Thank you
    Guest
    Thank you

    Thank you for bringing awareness. It could not have been easy. Very brave of you to tell your story.

    A thought
    Guest
    A thought

    This young Rabbi is an inspiration and has truly shown bravery coming forward. After reading the article in its entirety (via link from comment #7), a thought crossed my mind: We want victims of abuse to report the abuse right away. What would have been the outcome had Avremi brought this situation to light earlier? (Say, when he was 20 and saw that episode of law and order.) I’m not so sure the outcome would be the same…even his wife said “it was almost like I had to rethink everything about my life,” when the abuse was revealed. Would she… Read more »

    A Pioneer
    Guest
    A Pioneer

    A Pioneer,
    You will now see hundreds of people opening up about abuse in the past. He is a true hero and should be the keynote speaker at the next Kinus Hashluhim.

    Thank you
    Guest
    Thank you

    It’s so comforting as a victim to hear a shliach unapologetically come out. It’s validating. It’s so common and we’re normal people.
    Re:#speaking at the kinus banquet is unrelated to being a hero of shliach

    kol hakavod
    Guest
    kol hakavod

    brave shliach!

    X