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Monday, 21 Sivan, 5779
  |  June 24, 2019

    Shidduch Dates Disasters Stories

    Comfort reading: If you think shidduchim can be difficult or awkward, read these real-life disaster stories from frum dates. Full Story

    Spike in Deaths Empties Misaskim

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    Biased opinion!
    Guest
    Biased opinion!

    While all the stories are true and prove a point, but I I think this article is not honest and only brings half the horror stories how the men where to blame, I personally know many stories of where it was the girls pure fault, while I’m not excusing any particular man’s behavior but I think it would be more complete to write both sides of the story.

    Dating
    Guest
    Dating

    It should be published into a book

    Quite entertaining
    Guest
    Quite entertaining

    Nice that u can look back at these disaster stories with a lighter heart
    Sorry, Not sure about those involved though

    To nu 1
    Guest
    To nu 1

    U ddnt read this carefully enuf Bec he did write both sides.sounds like your story is in there,blaming u,oy

     Bocher
    Guest
    Bocher

    Wow this is all very intense. I did have a date planned but now I’m not so sure. I mean why should I be paying for someone to bring home food from a restaurant on my bill when she wants Is to talk to everyone else. And the weirdest part is her parents own the restaurant so why am I paying for her meal?!

    Biased, but not well read
    Guest
    Biased, but not well read

    I guess you didn’t read the whole article, because there are stories about girls and their parents who weren’t so nice.

    A single girl
    Guest
    A single girl

    Honestly and sadly I am not surprised by these stories. I once had a date that showed up at my door withought a car saying he wanted to walk around, that wouldn’t have been so bad if it wasn’t below 10 degrees Fahrenheit (I live in Canada). Why are Bochrim so unprepared for a date? There is no excuse And then the Bochrim think it’s so great that they are spending all the money as if they are making a big investment, when the girl is the one getting dressed up for 5 hours before and crying for 2 hours… Read more »

    what about disaster marriages
    Guest
    what about disaster marriages

    from frum dates. like who know who really anyway. It’s a luck shot – for which we sincerely wish good luck = mazel tov. without good luck how will you end up wit a real mate?

    What's the point?
    Guest
    What's the point?

    Is this article supposed to be humorous? Is it to tell us something? It fails on both counts.

    And what’s wrong with wearing all grey? Would she have preferred him to be slovenly & mis-matched?

    What a waste of my time reading it.

    Agreed with #1
    Guest
    Agreed with #1

    Perhaps one of the worst written articles I have ever read. Very biased and very one-sided. Some stories seemed a little over the top and exaggerated. I am a guy who has been on a fair share of dates and don’t get me started on horror stories. One of my dates was tripping on Heroin and falling over every other step. There was one time that I had to catch her – because she walked right into a busy intersection in Boro Park and would have surely got hit by a car. Or how about the time I spent $700… Read more »

    SYR from LA is right
    Guest
    SYR from LA is right

    Enough is enough of this madness…start them off at 20 and 19 and they’ll go to the chupah together.

    Extremely weird
    Guest
    Extremely weird

    Some of these stories seem very extreme
    Most shidducim are cancelled for trivial reasons
    And that is very sad
    Today everyone is nitpicking,
    We want to know every detail

    In some of your examples
    Guest
    In some of your examples

    there is another side to the story, which would make it probably understandable. Some examples are valid poor dates and others seem like trivial issues. Noone is perfect!

    Skip the whole dating process
    Guest
    Skip the whole dating process

    It’s all syatoh dishmayo there is no mention of marital problems of the great Odom and chavah noach and naamoh Avraham and sorah etc…only a couple of differences…bring in the shidduchim askunim from Willi….

    To #4 and #6
    Guest
    To #4 and #6

    So there is 7 stories where the guy screwed up, two where it wasn’t his fault, ONE story where she didn’t act properly (which is not nearly as bad of a story) and 2 stories where it was her father’s mixing in to much, go read the article again and tell me that that’s not one sided.

    Misplaced car
    Guest
    Misplaced car

    On our first date, he couldn’t find his ticket for the valet parking and couldn’t remember the make, color, or plates of the rental. Humans make mistakes and that is one. Yes, his character is still like that after 10 years of marriage. Humans have mishegasin and issues will constantly come up after marriage. The question is how you deal with them together. One needs to be realistic regarding what s/he personally can or cannot handle.
    But if you haven’t met even a single mensch, it makes me wonder about your expectations

    Single girl
    Guest
    Single girl

    Omg im literally in tears of laughter.the guy beeping vigorously ,that takes the cake.O thought ive been through it all .but now I after reading this ,I see theres madness out there.Guys seriously GET IT TOGETHER.

    Omggg!!
    Guest
    Omggg!!

    Too funny

    To #7
    Guest
    To #7

    I also have had a similar experience on a date in January in Montreal where it was 4 degrees Fahrenheit…..and the guy being super cheap thought it was brilliant idea to walk around in the freezing cold…too cheap to go on a mentchlich date and too cheap to get a cab…maybe the single girls should stop being naive and nice….and not give the losers a chance. On the bright side, there are nice guys out there and are considerate, so there is hope. Hatzlacha!

    what was the point
    Guest
    what was the point

    Of this article?

    Tfs
    Guest
    Tfs

    Very entertaining, got a good laugh, #5 got a good point

    don't get the point of this
    Guest
    don't get the point of this

    silly article…. extreme situations?
    what is meant to be taken out of it? entertainment?

    Shadchan
    Guest
    Shadchan

    Revelations of a Burnt- Out Shadchan ….. It’s so hard to please anyone these days!!! Here is a partial list of my clients …. I couldn’t even get them one date, and that is why I am finally quitting and going into the pickle business. Avraham Avinu: How can you recommend him to my daughter? Wasn’t he involved in a family feud with his father over some idols? Then he left home without a GPS or a viable business plan! Yitzchak Avinu: His brother is an Arab terrorist!!! Rivka Imeinu: Sorry, she seems nice but did you hear about her… Read more »

    Clearly
    Guest
    Clearly

    Chabad dating is quite different. BH. In Chabad it doesn’t seem like there’s a concept of dating random people that nobody knows.

    Seriously?
    Guest
    Seriously?

    This article, although well written and well intended, does no Justice and has no purpose whatsoever on a Jewish site. Let me explain: We are taking about Chassidisher dates, where much is dependent on Basherter! Yes, there are dates which one can classify as odd or awkward. But, for the most part they are civil. Finally, any article has a basic responsibility to understand the outcome of the article. Meaning, after reading the article, what has been accomplished? Has it made our “Shidduch Crisis” easier? Has it encouraged more to date? Is the article, although it may be the truth,… Read more »

     SHTETL TRIED AND TRUE METHOD
    Guest
    SHTETL TRIED AND TRUE METHOD

    Nu?. Less heartbreak. Let’s go back to go forward I say coz this 21st century methods ain’t working.

    Me, too.
    Guest
    Me, too.

    If the girls took more responsibility in planning the date, paying for it, and keeping the conversation going, they’d have less time to sit and criticize the boys for not being the perfect Prince Charming.

    hysterical
    Guest
    hysterical

    These stories are so funny — I was laughing through all — no reason to get all “worked up” — it’s light-hearted humor — got to laugh at how funny life can be… I remember the time I went on date– they told me everything about him except one little detail they “forgot” to mention– that he didn’t speak any English– only yiddish and Hebrew– I only found out after he showed up at my door after traveling several hours to see me– I don’t speak yiddish and only very broken Hebrew– what was I to do?– we went out… Read more »

    wow
    Guest
    wow

    Loving the Under The Chuppa magazine.

    To 19
    Guest
    To 19

    Maybe the guy is the naive one, why can’t the girl suggest something…

    And wouldn’t it be so much more helpful and less harmfull in the long run if we just said what we thought, if we were hosnest from day one and not just trying to impress him or her!!!
    The must stop!

    ...What was the point of this article?
    Guest
    ...What was the point of this article?

    I was expecting it to either a) have a point or b) be funny. This is neither… And trust me, these stories are *nothing* compared to the real shidduch war stories. The truly traumatic ones -manipulative guys/girls; being made to jump through crazy hoops to prove if you’re “good enough” for someone; getting pressured to “just get engaged already” by the person you’re on a date with; being scolded that you’re “wasting his money” or “being cruel to her” by dating with doubts so you must decide right now, break up or get engaged; undisclosed mental illness; inappropriate overtures and… Read more »

    In continuation from 30
    Guest
    In continuation from 30

    And to 7, What about the girls, they need to grow up too… Everyone is just as fault, a grown up girl is not crying 2 hours after, relax, u date the first time to see if u wanna date again and eventually date to get married. It’s time for both party’s boys and girls to stop dramatizing the whole dating world. What you do point out, is a true point for anyone and everyone, there must be better education and better guidance in the shoddy home world, both boy and girl need a guide if it’s a parent or… Read more »

    To 31
    Guest
    To 31

    True as ever!

    Agree with 31
    Guest
    Agree with 31

    Dating can be very stressful (for goyim too, btw). This article is silly and doesn’t seem to have any real tachlis other than to share some amusing anecdotes (although I agree with one of the other commentators; what is wrong with wearing all grey?!) Like #31, I worry about all the undo pressure put on people dating. There will always be people who are good at dating and those that are not. Those who are well mannered and those that are not. High strung girls, clueless guys (and vice versa…) but the real problem is the pressuring to marry when… Read more »

    Rabbi really???
    Guest
    Rabbi really???

    So I went out with a guy, who went on for 20 minutes about all the smicha he has and how he went to burmwa yeshiva in France bla bla bla. He ordered a drink .. Then be continued to drink from his glass that had a lemon wedge on it….. The hotel we sat in had an open bar with food and drinks…. I asked him how he can do that halachichly?

    Lesson is… Don’t spend 20 minutes talking about urself and the halacha u claim to know from becoming a rabbi unless u wanna get burned

    Dating
    Guest
    Dating

    The one date I went on the guy kept telling me his pants were too big until they actually fell down!!!!

    To #35
    Guest
    To #35

    It’s 100% muttar. One can assume that many lemons were sliced with the same knife, so the shamnunis was wiped off on this first few, which then become boteil in the “clean” lemon slices. It’s a befeirushe Shulchan Aruch.

    this article
    Guest
    this article

    are u trying to make me have a dating phobia?

    Thank you col for posting!
    Guest
    Thank you col for posting!

    Needed a good laugh!!!
    Lighten up everyone and maybe have a little bitachon!
    It’s out of our hands so enjoy the ride!

    I'm a married guy
    Guest
    I'm a married guy

    i went out on a couple of dates and interesting things happens all the time on both sides of the aisles it’s all a matter of attitude my wife and I always laugh at each other for the foolish things each of us did while dating

    To #28
    Guest
    To #28

    A good friend of mine, also an English speaker, went out with an Israeli Hebrew speaking girl who also didn’t know any English. They got married with the Rebbe’s bracha and lived happily ever after. Maybe they couldn’t fight because the didn’t have a common language.

    BTW… I think the article was just meant to be humorous, so don’t go searching for or expecting deep insights. If you didn’t find it humorous don’t get all kvetchy about it. Not all humor appeals to all people.

    Dovid

    The Full Stories Revealed
    Guest
    The Full Stories Revealed

    _______________________________________ BY POPULAR DEMAND – THE FULL STORIES _______________________________________ [Most of the details that I will be pointing out here are clearly deductible from THE STORIES THEMSELVES, minimal guesswork and “benefit of the doubt” was used. Please take all this in a humorous note.] [For entertainment and thought-provoking purposes only.] THE GIRL WHO DIDN’T KNOW MEN’S CLOTHING STYLE The man had a taste for fashion. He matched his polished oxford shoes and his yarmulke to the color of his expensive and stylish gray suit. Pretty cool. The girl though, clearly considered this to be a “war story” and decided to… Read more »

    To 42
    Guest
    To 42

    Haha!

    I like it a lot. This should be the follow up article…

    agree with 43
    Guest
    agree with 43

    #42 should be a follow up article. Totally reasonable, understandable, and similar to what I was thinking.
    But I would skip the for “entertainment” purposes part, and leave in the thought provoking words on top.

    Interesting to note
    Guest
    Interesting to note

    The girls story is always more dramatic. Maybe the female author can explain.

    Did you like him or her?
    Guest
    Did you like him or her?

    Bottom line is that if you like someone you would be willing to overlook the mishugasim.

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