Wednesday, 6 Kislev, 5783
  |  November 30, 2022

She Pairs Up the “Chabad Misfits”

New York Times reports about Yocheved Lerner-Miller who pairs up the "misfits in the Lubavitch community in Crown Heights." Full Story

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Leah Gevirtz Amler
December 6, 2018 1:11 am

It was wonderful to see you. On PBS about 93 Queen. Please tell me how to reach you😘

A sign of the times
April 9, 2018 7:26 pm

Mrs. Lerner has a big zchus but I wish the process of shidduchim was menchslich enough that we wouldn’t have to have special shadchanim for people who are judged not good enough to be in “regular shidduchim”. The problem isn’t the word “misfits”, it’s people treating certain categories of people like misfits. Someone divorced could marry someone who was never married. Someone with a handicap could marry someone without one. A BT could marry an FFB. If we were focussed on the important things (middos, compatible hashkafos) instead of labels, maybe moshiach would be here already.

April 8, 2018 10:30 am

why are they misfits?? they are people who are chabd chassidim that have a hard time getting a shidduch. Not Chas V’shalom a ‘misfit’

April 5, 2018 9:00 pm

If the Times calls u a misfit, consider it a compliment.

April 5, 2018 7:20 pm

I believe the word misfit is being used in the sense of the word as in not going according to the social norms and not being what people say is in perfect. That is how it comes across to me as I tend to fall in this category of lubavitch jewery

April 5, 2018 5:44 am

Our rebbe taught us how to only talk positively and beshvach….see lekutei sichos emor.

Even if nyt printed that line col should have changed the title to chabads real shadchan…..ect

Only the NY Times would use the word misfits!
April 4, 2018 8:49 pm

Pretty sure the NY times reporter isn’t part of the community SO EVERYONE SHOULD STOP TAKING THE TERM SO PERSONALLY!

April 4, 2018 6:48 pm

Thank you for doing this wonderful service to the community,may you be blessed with much success and happiness.

Please read
April 4, 2018 4:45 pm

She did not say misfit. It was the NYT. Please anyone rightly insulted by this term call the nyt but know this did not come from your brethren in CH.

toby dachs
April 4, 2018 4:39 pm

A person sometimes has no Mazel in the dating world That doesnt mean he or she are misfits

April 4, 2018 4:18 pm

BS”D Could have been worse times could have called us deplorables

April 4, 2018 4:13 pm

The NYT used the word ‘misfit’ but the article should have used another. Nevertheless, any word used in its place would have been a euphemism indicating a ‘difference’ in some way.

The col misfit
April 4, 2018 4:03 pm

The shadchan denies the use of the term.
The fact that it is in the COL headline is more than an indication who is insensitive and harboring misfit thoughts in relation to the Rebbe’’s view on Jews. Truthfully I’m not shocked but I am disappointed
This misfit demands an apology.

Keep up the mitzvahs
April 4, 2018 1:14 pm

Thank you. Many shidduch candidates in the frum velt dont represent the never married 20yr old Beis Rivkah graduate. There are the older widowed divorced disabled etc. And finding a life partner isnt just foentjose in the blushes of health and youth. This woman is truly remarkable for everything shebisndpong and continued success

Please view it as a compliment as
April 4, 2018 12:45 pm

any pleasant or agreeable description instead, coming from that source might require us doing a complete cheshbon hanefesh as to what we were doing wrong!!

Misfit-Isn't this a great lesson?!
April 4, 2018 12:22 pm

Seeing something in print is powerful but may not necessarily be true. That goes for all types of media.

April 4, 2018 12:15 pm



I guess Chabad Lubavitch & most of Orthodox Judaism
April 4, 2018 12:15 pm

is ‘Misfitted’ in a world fitted for a good many currently negative things, including the NYT!!

April 4, 2018 11:48 am

How much has to be my networth to go from mistfit to fit?
10 million is ok? or 30 million and up?

What else?
April 4, 2018 11:35 am

Does she deal with individuals that have to take Ritalin in order to function? Or individuals on anti depressants,who are wonderful and calpable and functional….as long as they are taking their meds? Or diabetes…..or any other medication?

The "NY Times"
April 4, 2018 11:15 am

Please don’t use anything printed in the times as proof of something somone said for more reasons ask Trump

Contact info
April 4, 2018 10:51 am

[email protected] Yocheved Lerner-Miller

Contact info
April 4, 2018 10:50 am

How does someone contact her????????????

Thank you!
April 4, 2018 10:38 am

Thank you Yocheved for doing such amazing work! May hashem help you be the shliach for many more singles waiting to meet their match!

Keep it up
April 4, 2018 10:21 am

Yocheved keep it up!
To all those commenting…. the word used was not quoted from Yocheved!

April 4, 2018 10:13 am

Cheers to her! For not caring. And dealing with those who are having a hard time , cuz the Shadchanim in crown heights can’t help you, or only deal with certain types of people and from,specific backgrounds. I am a single girl and from crown heights, but might think to see Mrs. Lerner. I applaud her, just because the word “MISFIT” is used, u should see it as a good thing.

do people READ?
April 4, 2018 10:12 am

She never said the word “misfits,” ch”v. That was the NYT doing their sensationalism.

Contact details
April 4, 2018 9:52 am

Does anyone know how to contact Ms. Lerner-Miller?

Grateful We left
April 4, 2018 9:43 am

Misfits? That’s the entire community? Who decided these people are misfits. Bet she makes better matches with happier marriages. Yasher koach!

April 4, 2018 9:01 am

Why such a negative word??
No where in the original article was that word used. Col I would expect better. An older single is a misfit? Someone who had to get divorced is a misfit? Really?!

Wonderful people
April 4, 2018 8:55 am

Yocheved is a Shadchan with a heart who really, truly, cares. Using the term “misfits” is derogatory! She deals with people whom other shadchanim might not want to bother with, but Chas Visholom to call them misfits! They are wonderful capable people, just not not 21 anymore. The NY Times used the term for sensationalism but at COL (Lubavitch) we should see people for their real worth. Baalei Teshuva and older singles deserve happiness too. She has made many, many wonderful, happy Shidduchim. She treats people with respect and compassion and doesn’t give up until the job is done!

Misfits Is Not It
April 4, 2018 8:44 am

Misfits is misnomer.
I know many people she’s helped… And “misfit” is not the common factor among them.
The key is she knows how to think creatively and out of the box.

April 4, 2018 8:28 am

What is her number??

This highlights the problem with Shadchanim
April 4, 2018 8:17 am

Why would anyone want to go to a lady who classifies herself as setting up ‘misfits’? Why would any parent want to send their child to someone that labels them as a ‘misfit’? What an insensitive and sad article.

April 4, 2018 8:13 am

So amazing you’re doing this! Miss you!
Devorah (katz) Shor
North Miami Beach

The misfit
April 4, 2018 7:56 am

Thank you Crown Heights for making it clear I am a misfit. I did not think of myself that way as a Jewish person trying to return to my roots, but after over ten years of living here, it is more than clear I am a misfit here.

Thank you . So needed
April 4, 2018 7:35 am

Amazing work. You should be blessed

How do i contact you
April 4, 2018 6:50 am

Please say how you can be contacted. Do you do shidduchim for people in other countries as well?

CH homeowner
April 4, 2018 6:24 am

“Misfits”? So, there are people who are ‘well-fit’ and others who are ‘misfits’? Wish the writer had chosen another word. Anyone who has had a life could be characterized as ‘misfit.’

Wrong term
April 4, 2018 6:13 am

No Yid is a misfit. She works with more unusual shidduchim.

Remarkable person
April 4, 2018 3:16 am

Yocheved Lerner is a remarkable person – the very brief summary of her move towards halachic observance hardly does her justice. She met enormous, seemingly unsurmountable obstacles in her life, even as she began to establish herself as a member of the frum community. She personally endured unforgivable biases
Yocheved is the sole founder of Ezras Noshim, and herself developed it to the point of being a viable organization, something little known to the general public.
The idea of an all women’s ambulance corps had been much discussed and villified until she actually made it a reality.

April 4, 2018 1:44 am

that doesnt sound too nice. How about “difficult matches” or something

I didn't say"misfits"--really!
April 4, 2018 1:23 am

First the New York Times, now COLLIVE–Wow, I’m truly humbled! However, I didn’t use the term “misfits” pertaining to the wonderful people I try to match! Few are the stereotypical ideal person our society often holds as ideal, but everyone has amazingly wonderful characteristics. Sorry NY Times, No outliers! I’m here to help any Lubavitch person try to find his/her Bashert. Lubavitch was here for me, I’m here for the community. May every single finds the match that’s right for them!

Misfits is a misnomer
April 4, 2018 1:01 am

I can attest to the fact that the word misfits was never used. That is pure newspaper sensationalism.

there is no such thing as a
April 4, 2018 12:43 am

some are not yet 100% Lubavitch but all are are 100% great
Your service though is greatly appreciated.

I certainly wish her the best of luck
April 4, 2018 12:21 am

but the Rebbe was SO careful with how words are used – the label “misfit” is so disrespectful & undignified – I hope this is the language of our anti-religious “friends” at the NY Times & not a quote from the shadchan …