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Saturday, 16 Av, 5779
  |  August 17, 2019
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    Seminary Retracts Girl’s Acceptance

    A Chabad girl was abruptly told by a seminary that she is expelled even before beginning; Based on “hearsay,” friends said. Full Story

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    Just saying....
    Guest
    Just saying....

    How absolutely obnoxious! Such a rude and horribly Written Letter. Her name should be publicized as I would not want to send my kids there

    Colorful story
    Guest
    Colorful story

    Sensationalism here

    What’s the real truth? No one really will know

    I hope there is not going to
    Attract a lot of angry people who will now vent and get their rotten tomatoes out

    Pleeez:)
    Say shema with sincerely and everyone go shluff

    Two sides
    Guest
    Two sides

    there are 2 sides to every story.

    This is heartbreaking!!!!
    Guest
    This is heartbreaking!!!!

    How does this happen?!

    A parent
    Guest
    A parent

    I am sure if the parent’s offered to pay more tuition. The seminary would accept the girl with open arms!

    What is the name of the seminary
    Guest
    What is the name of the seminary

    Hard to believe that……. my suggestion is that no one should go to that seminary so maybe they will learn their lesson … shame on them ,

    Terrible
    Guest
    Terrible

    This is just beyond terrible. What chutzpah to rescind an acceptance on such baseless terms. Not to mention the absurdly unprofessional and unkind email. Hashem should help this girl learn somewhere else and have an incredible and enriching experience there.

    Take her to beis din
    Guest
    Take her to beis din

    That’s the only way a person like this will listen. Maybe …

    disgusting.
    Guest
    disgusting.

    you dont reject a girl two weeks before seminary, just not human…….
    im sure this girl will have a great taste for yiddishkeit after this

    reader
    Guest
    reader

    Wow. This is so sad how girls want to get into a Chabad seminary so badly, yet this is brought upon them. Why are we teaching our children that based off of pure Lashon Hara they are not wanted in a seminary? This entire system is so messed up and disgusting. This needs to change.

    Aaron
    Guest
    Aaron

    BS”D if all this is true, with mechanchim like that does one have to wonder what’s wrong with our youth. Wish there was something I could do. Am sure it will turn out for the best for the student and be to the Seminaries loss. Probably all a smoke screen so they can open up a spot for a friend (as in “rich”) or a relative

    Chossid
    Guest
    Chossid

    This young girl should be happy and proud that she will not be with these low life’s , everything will IYH turn out for the best , this is the type of behavior from these non professional Principals and teachers , good luck you will do great else where , and give Nachas to all of us .

    System vs Rebbe
    Guest
    System vs Rebbe

    This is when someone in the system and in authority goes blatantly against the Rebbe’s ways. Requiring a girl to unfriend people! How is that okay? This girl and her parents shouldn’t want her to go to a seminary that is under the care of this lady! I’d be worried for the long term health of girls in this woman’s care. Opposite of Chabad!

    Fake news
    Guest
    Fake news

    Why doesn’t it say which seminary?
    I don’t believe this is true.
    It doesn’t look authentic.

    Sue them
    Guest
    Sue them

    Take them to a din torah. Raise money and call the school to task for breaking their agreement with you.

    Idiots
    Guest
    Idiots

    Firstly, How many times does she have to dig into the girl that she did not keep her part of the bargain. Also, didn’t the girl deserve a phone call so she could at least explain or defend herself. This decision was solely based on here say and Lashon Hora. Perhaps the seminary is not a good fit for her but at least give her a chance to explain. These people think their G-d.

    Ch resident
    Guest
    Ch resident

    It is their loss. You are a very very capable girl. You should name the director and let us know. No one has a right to make a decision about another person. This needs to be discussed with you first. Their is due process. I feel very much your pain as I have been is similar situations. There is a lot of hurt. Don’t fight. Use this to your advantage. There are better and bigger opportunities that will be coming to you. Hashem will judge this director if she keeps her agreement with Hashem from last year Rosh Hashona too.… Read more »

    Sholom Ber
    Guest
    Sholom Ber

    Poor parents now they won’t have the privilege of spending $20.000.00 for a year of seminary with this fine learning institution. G-D help us!! Dear Sem Principal, Please don’t honor us with your presence here in CH. You are not wanted here as you don’t want our kids

    Sending Hugs
    Guest
    Sending Hugs

    And we wonder why so many are going off the derech? When I was in seminary I learned of a girl that was being kicked out for having untoward behavior, but don’t these girls have to go somewhere? I myself get conflicted feelings personally, I was in a BT sem, and the majority of girls that I was with that year were OTD and it did change the flavor not for the good, but don’ these girls need to go somewhere? You’re talking about the last chance to save someone’s yiddishkeit. Even if the sources are trustworthy and true the… Read more »

    sad
    Guest
    sad

    The system is just getting worse and worse, we need some leaders stepping in asap!!!

    the girl should have changed her ways
    Guest
    the girl should have changed her ways

    and apologised to the principal. Kids these days think they are entitled to everything

    Reliable source?
    Guest
    Reliable source?

    Is the Reliable source your daughter-in-law?
    She has absolutely nothing to do with the girl!!
    Maybe talk to someone who knows the girl personally.

    i know the girl in question
    Guest
    i know the girl in question

    all accusations leveled against her are completely FALSE!! MAde up by jealous ppl who have no life !!! Besides its complete lashon hara

    This is insane
    Guest
    This is insane

    Who would even want such a woman teaching? Has the “Mrs.” Ever heard of the rebbe or Chabad? Or is this a satmar story adapted for COL???

    Big mistake
    Guest
    Big mistake

    The letter should be printed with the name of the sem and the person who sent it.

    Breaking up friends
    Guest
    Breaking up friends

    I’m having horrible dejavu to when I was in high school and the hanhalah tried to break up our group of friends. Never got that! Contrary to ahavas Yisroel!

    Very fortunate
    Guest
    Very fortunate

    This girl is very fortunate not to be going to this seminary.

    To # 14
    Guest
    To # 14

    I wish this was fake news, sadly this is all accurate and this girl definitely doesn’t deserve this.

    Levy
    Guest
    Levy

    The director wishes the student a shana tova. Is this a Shomer Hatzair school or Lubavitch where you mention Shem Shomayim?!

    Joe D
    Guest
    Joe D

    Every day i’m more and more proud that my in laws didn’t borrow money to send my now wife to seminary. Obviously we don’t know all of the details in this particular story but overall sems seem to be the most expensive and have the worst name from all of the branches of the Chabad edu system.

    #8, 15
    Guest
    #8, 15

    My thoughts exactly. Din Torah for cost of airfare, specifically, and for doing such a horrible thing, in general

    The tip of the iceberg...
    Guest
    The tip of the iceberg...

    This is just one example of the power these seminaries hold over all our young impressionable girls. For months, and for some – years, girls are stressed out about ‘getting accepted’. Then they wait months until they get a response. A friend of mines daughter didn’t get accepted and the girl cried in bed for a week. This is truly a sick system and not something I want my daughters to go through when they get older. The heads of the seminaries really don’t care about the girls and their future. There is no sense of responsibility at all.

    chaim36
    Guest
    chaim36

    As a retired educator with over 35 years experience this “school” should be shut down.Inhumane treatment of a bas yisroel.

    Who's in charge here?
    Guest
    Who's in charge here?

    There should be an organization in charge, with a set of rules for all chabad schools, seminaries, and yeshivas so they are regulated.
    Not every schmo that decides he wants to open a school should have the privilege to play with our children’s future.

    rediculous
    Guest
    rediculous

    first of all, did col even CALL the seminary to verify this story and hear the seminary’s side to it? how low have we gotten that everything and anything gets published without verification.

    Also, the sem makes it very clear that there was a condition to the girl’s acceptance, and that was not met. they have every right to keep their side of the deal.

    Realist
    Guest
    Realist

    It is not surprising to hear of such behavior , we have the same type of leaders in our community , a bunch of losers trying to pass themselves off as Rabbonim Mechanchim Teachers , its time to put them to pasture , new and professionals are needed to save our precious children .

    To #21
    Guest
    To #21

    Telling the girl to apologize why? do you know the girl? You don’t think she worked hard? So you believe in this corrupted system for telling her she can’t come after the summer really.
    How about someone telling you this how would you feel? And no not every girl thinks thier entitled for emerging.

    ch resident
    Guest
    ch resident

    there are 2 sides here. Perhaps the hanhala gave the girl who does not dress and behave as a chabd girl should, a chance in a lifetime to change, the girl promised to do so but did not. so why does she feel that she can laugh at the school and they should accept her anyway. thank Hashem that this school has some standards and obligation to the other students

    Is that how the email came- with bold red letters????
    Guest
    Is that how the email came- with bold red letters????

    If so, it is unprofessional, and strange.

    A family member had someone try to sabotage her sem plans, but in her case the principal called to hear the other side of the story. After further verification, the principal understood the full picture, and this girl did go on to have a great learning year.

    Chinuch on cruise control
    Guest
    Chinuch on cruise control

    Our schools are looking for students that are cookie cutter. if there is a student that needs a extra attention they reject them instead of helping them grow and love yiddishkeit.

    To 38
    Guest
    To 38

    The girl is a very good girl, and a school does have the right to accept and reject students. I think the uproar here is in how it was done. No one in a caring authorive role would write such a degrading and damaging letter.

    There are 2 sides
    Guest
    There are 2 sides

    I’m impressed with the hanhalas decision. I would want my daughter to go to this seminary knowing she is taken care of by someone who cares about their growth.

    Out of town Lubavitcher
    Guest
    Out of town Lubavitcher

    These so called peoples the seminary follow the ways and guidance of the imposters in crown heights masquerading as Rabbis etc , writing lies about Rabbis in the community and behaving in a manner that not even a Goi would . It is unacceptable.

    crazy!
    Guest
    crazy!

    This Seminary Head is playing with fire. She will be fully responsible if this girl goes off the Derech. She has no clue what this action will result in the future of this Bas Yisroel. The girl made an effort to be in a Shliachs camp for the summer and separated from her usual group of friends so that she can work on herself and set a goal to do well. Is this the approach the Rebbe would want? We are in crazy times…our youth are falling away and this so called Seminary Educator who is in the field of… Read more »

    Sending hugs, too
    Guest
    Sending hugs, too

    I’m with #17. This happened to my daughter, too — only she never even got accepted to sem because of lashon hora that was a bunch of lies and huge exaggerations. OH, the pain!! But let it be Gam Zu L’Tova — you are a terrific girl, you have your head on straight, and you can succeed perfectly well without this seminary!! Some young people have the attitude of “if they think I’m a bum, I’ll show them — I’ll act like one.” Don’t fall into that trap. Hold strong — lots of people are davening for your success!! Please… Read more »

    To #38
    Guest
    To #38

    Finally a normal comment
    The CH residents expecte to be accepted and because they are Chabad they can do what ever with no consequences.
    This great young girl was given a lesson that her actions have consequences. As her parent I would thank the school for giving her a chance. But she blew it. The person to be blame is her. Sorry for the ugly truth.

    There is a way
    Guest
    There is a way

    Bais rivka should charge every 12th grader that is planning to apply to these $20,000 seminaries $20,000 you would see how quick they will fall in line
    Its enough we dont need them
    Take the $20,000 and take your daughter to israel stay in first class hotels and bring home a lot of change

    I personaly know the girl and family
    You are a much better person then these people

    To those saying there are 2 sides..
    Guest
    To those saying there are 2 sides..

    The primary issue here isn’t that the girl was rejected, its how the school went about it. This letter is beyond damaging to a young girl. Being told over and over again that she is a disappointment by someone who no longer has any ties to her. She has no right to attack this girl in such a manner, especially without giving her the chance to even defend herself

    strange story
    Guest
    strange story

    I sympathize with the poor girl, and how awful it must be to suddenly find yourself without plans, but I do not think the decision was made based on a ‘bit of gossip’, when the admin clearly states she based her decision on ‘highly trustworthy sources’. I also think that posting this to COL and highlighting or capitalizing parts of the communication (which was probably sent by the sem as a confidential correspondence) shows a lack of sensitivity. It is not necessary to make this a community issue, or cry about it publicly, or somehow try to ‘shame’ the sem.… Read more »

    Apologize?
    Guest
    Apologize?

    For what? She wasn’t in the school yet, didn’t do anything offensive to Mrs in charge to apologize for? She wasn’t given the common courtesy of a phone convo nor were her family…. I don’t know the full pic but sounds pretty disgusting to me!
    Hashem spared her .. she’ll do better and greater things and end up frum and tznius to boot!! Seminary eat your hat!

    I understand the pain- I was just in sem
    Guest
    I understand the pain- I was just in sem

    This past year i was in seminary. Seminary has the ability to ruin and crush a person. For us girls who aren’t married yet it’s a sensitive year, and the harsh judgement has to stop. The threatenig about shidduchim and the future, getting labeled, hurts. We are all kind and sensitive girls. We need a change of the ones who run these places. They are abusing their power.

    To the people who say "there are two sides"
    Guest
    To the people who say "there are two sides"

    You’ve obviously never experienced what so many of us have. Who are the “reliable sources” that felt compelled to report to the director? A family member of the director? I’m glad you’ll be taking your grant money elsewhere, and I hope your friends will do the same.

    To number 38
    Guest
    To number 38

    Your right we don’t know the whole story but we see the facts. A horrifying email, a response from the girl which clearly shows humility and her being shot down again. The girls response clearly shows good character. It seems to me that the girl is the grown up here. I understand that we won’t agree on who is right or wrong here but I’m sure we can all agree that the email was poorly written with an abusive tone.

    Take the high road
    Guest
    Take the high road

    It would have been proper for a matter of this importance to be discussed prior to a decision. Anyway i think people that not pick aren’t worth My time.. They have nothing better to do but pass judgement and take everything personally… this director seems like she would be a drain and dead weight anyhow

    Have the schools learned anything!!!! You don't do this!!!
    Guest
    Have the schools learned anything!!!! You don't do this!!!

    To the seminary girl: You are stellar! You don’t need to change for anyone except to be who Hashem meant for you to be and although this is an extremely difficult test to have to go through. That seminary doesn’t deserve an emesdika girl like you! Stay strong and remember it is from Hashem and Hashem has your back!

    why do you think
    Guest
    why do you think

    a girl who doesn’t dress properly and who has friends who are somewhat problematic should be accepted into a sem that has higher standards than she can adhere to? “although she had agreed to change the people she “hangs around with” and the “way you dress,” the student had not done so.” Whose fault is that? Her parents maybe, for not reigning her in when she first put on a too short or tight or flashy outfit? Her teachers maybe, for not instilling in her a true understanding of how a bas Yisroel should act? Her friends for tempting her?… Read more »

    Fraud
    Guest
    Fraud

    What the sems are doing is plain fraud charging millions… i hope people will realise and it will go down down the drain!! Hatzlocha to this girl ik this is not what you want to hear but good for you that you are not going !!! Its a horrid place! Publicize the letter with the name she obviously had no shame to send it to you share it with the world!!!

    Agree with #14
    Guest
    Agree with #14

    Sounds strange, wording is strange, sounds like some girls that got rejected are having some fun

    FRY OUT
    Guest
    FRY OUT

    as a registered consultant in crown heights i am constantly hearing young women say oh i was not accepted to sem, should I fry out they are whom to blame but really REALLY

    what abt the Spanish and cossak, nazi through it all they survived and thrived and passed it down to the farther generations and now I am not understanding. i get the situation and how hard it must be for you, yet you will forsake all this!! UNBELIEVABLE
    its shocking

    Publicizing was not wise
    Guest
    Publicizing was not wise

    As an outside observer I would just say it was very unwise to publicize the email. I would think if it was based on mistaken info there would have been a chance for her to engage with the school and discuss. But which school – or any org – would want to deal with someone who publicizes private communications. After all, that is also a betrayal.

    And I say that with full sympathy for the girl’s situation.

    To number 56
    Guest
    To number 56

    Again this is not about if the school had a right to this Decision it’s about the appalling way they went about it. The email they sent is very telling.

    What's the intention here?
    Guest
    What's the intention here?

    If Moshiach is on anyone’s agenda, then you should scroll over to the next article. There isn’t (and never was) any way this write would help the girl, the seminary and worse of all, all that are reading this. This triggers only negative passionate emotions and only creates שנאה. Honestly, I remember growing up when I heard my Zaidy telling my father that bad news is good news (for the news station) and I didn’t get it as a kid, I totally do now. This was just a great piece for the website.. But c’mon, you have a great platform… Read more »

    To 56
    Guest
    To 56

    The biggest problem in these letters is in how this was done. All on hearsay and not even giving the poor student a chance to respond.

    Loshon Hora?
    Guest
    Loshon Hora?

    How is this story “news worthy to be published”? It’s the same loshon hora you are so against! Publishing something with only one side of the issue, and no background.
    The words uttered here are shameful.
    Based on one such article a seminary is threatened to be shut down and a principal thrown out to the dogs? What have we become?

    About time!
    Guest
    About time!

    It’s about time these types of mistreatment and abuses are exposed. This generation is improving the system step by step with requiring professional standards from those in power.

    #59 Chas vasholom
    Guest
    #59 Chas vasholom

    Who said she will ever forsake anything, on the contrary she will show them how wrong they are, she has grown and will continue to grow! I know her and she’s made of the real stuff. Trying times have always made her stronger they don’t brake her.

    Enough is enough!
    Guest
    Enough is enough!

    Our mosdos must start taking responsibility for our children, if you have a child in your Moisad that is not doing there part in satisfying what the moisad requires, the moisad is responsible to find the proper moisad for that Neshama to be in. The same goes with accepting a child. The idea of putting a Neshama on the street is totally against all the philosophy of Chasidus and basis of the Torah!

    If you can not do that, it is to much work, then you are in the wrong industry. Close your Moisad and open a business!

    Dear girl
    Guest
    Dear girl

    Take it from someone who went to sem and I’ll just say that it was not the year of growth I expected. I’m not sure which seminary this is but if it is the one I went to, I’ll have you know that this attitude permeates the sem to the core. Yes girls definitely grew there, and I learned a lot from certain individual teachers, however I felt so disconnected from the seminary’s philosophy that I had difficulty connecting to most of the girls. After seminary some girls’ true colors showed. Not every girl is bothered by hypocrisy and faulty… Read more »

    STAY IN CROWN HEIGHTS
    Guest
    STAY IN CROWN HEIGHTS

    BAIS RIVKAH SEMINARY IN CROWN HEIGHTS IS SUPERB. SAVE YOUR MONEY, LIVE AT HOME, AND ENJOY THE EXCELLENT CLASSES.
    OR ELSE JOIN MACHON CHANA.
    THEY TOO HAVE A GREAT TRACK RECORD OF EXCELLENT CLASSES!

    About "going off the derech"
    Guest
    About "going off the derech"

    Yiddishkeit IS OUR GIFT
    We don’t go away from Yiddishkeit because of what someone did to us
    That is ultimately an excuse.
    All one is doing is hurting themselves.
    Do you stop eating because someone did something really nasty to you?

    To publicize or not?
    Guest
    To publicize or not?

    We do have a responsibility as a community to ensure the safety and wellbeing of all. This is an ugly thread, but also a necessary one. I know the girl and her mother are upset that these letters got out. As the letter said, we are a small world, and news travels fast. These letters were made available by the close grapevine, but can we learn something as a community about them. The point is not to try to find out who the hanhalah is but rather hope that those in authority value their post and hopefully reassess and learn… Read more »

    something is off with this letter
    Guest
    something is off with this letter

    it doesn’t sound the way admin of a sem would talk to a girl they don’t really know
    sounds like a talk from someone who knows the other person for some time now
    something isn’t clicking here

    Very true story
    Guest
    Very true story

    I know this girl personally and this seminary would be lucky to have her ! She is amazing and honestly one of the best girls. They have no idea what they turned down but how dare a seminary prevent you from being friends with your friends and how dare a seminary unaccept someone a week before!! They don’t have any good reason either! This girl is of outstanding character and someone who makes the rebbe proud on a constant basis! They should really really be ashamed !!

    Terrible
    Guest
    Terrible

    it’s an interesting lifestyle to dedicate yourself towards giving fellow yidden a love for yiddishkeit, but at the same time to act in a way that keeps us in gollus

    To #45
    Guest
    To #45

    Thank you for agreeing with #17. We need to be strong together and support those who are pushed away. There is no way that ppl can do what they want and no one says this is wrong. This girl will grow to be very successful in her life family and community. Shame on this director.

    Berel
    Guest
    Berel

    Just a sad situation.

    Whatever the merits of the decision, that’s as trashy and unprofessional a rejection letter as you could possibly conjure. Just a classless lack of empathy. If this is an educator, uch un veih.

    “…I’m more disappointed than you are…” – epic lack of self awareness.

    If you have to show this girl the door, what gives you the right to kick her on the way out. Who asked for your self-righteous musar.

    Words that come from the heart...
    Guest
    Words that come from the heart...

    What we teach and expect of children, all the time, is use your words. What happened to communication? So you heard from someone you think is reliable. And you don’t want her to join, fine. What happened to simple human decency and basic chinuch? Calling such a girl, telling her what you heard, hearing what she says, and communicating your thoughts. That would be chinuch. Teaching a child that when they hear something, to hear the other, to communicate, to let the other come to understand the decision. If these are the directors of chinuch, I shudder to think of… Read more »

    Hard to believe
    Guest
    Hard to believe

    This story seems too off to be true: 1) never heard of a sem making conditions like that. There are enough “good girls” without taking girls based on “changes “. 2)It is also strange to be having such a go-between (no parent involved), and sem didnt start yet. Sounds like this girl knew prncipal well beforehand maybe a niece of hers (again very unlikely then she would reject her in this way) 3) cant think of any places where any “mrs” would ever have the authority to do this without others undersigned. If there are any, then the person in… Read more »

    #60
    Guest
    #60

    You clearly have never dealt with certain “director types” personally. For those of us who have, we know that many of them do not act tactfully, or with even the slightest modicum of empathy toward the students they kick out. In other words, they couldn’t care less. I’m glad this was publicized.

    Seminary mafia
    Guest
    Seminary mafia

    I’m sure there are 2 sides to this story! Bottom line is we need to support and start new programmes for “Our frum from
    Birth Chassidish” girls (and boys)! Sorry enough bringing in Baal Yeshivah cteen etc! Let’s focus on keeping our kinderlach passionate about being frum and Chassidish.

    To number 24
    Guest
    To number 24

    Your comment disparaging a large group of chassidic Jews runs contrary to the whole idea of your comment. It is CLEARLY not the way of the Rebbe or Chabad. If you have any self respect, you’ll go to R’ Yoels kever and ask for mechila!

    HAS EVERYONE GONE LIBERAL?
    Guest
    HAS EVERYONE GONE LIBERAL?

    Did anyone believe this email for a second? 1. Which professional organization does not have a letterhead/logo/ unique font on every email sent by them? 2. As was already pointed out, no organization in their right mind sends personal emails with bold, underlined red letters. 3. When “censoring” emails such as these for public consumption, one simply whites-out the names. replacing them with a dotted line is unnecessary and just takes extra work. Unless, of course, they were part of the email originally…. get my drift? Where do we get this complete overjustification-of-victim-syndrome that after one cursory glance at such… Read more »

    HORRIFIED
    Guest
    HORRIFIED

    No wonder so many of our youth are off the derech.
    What happened to kiruv. Charity starts at home.
    Accept her – shower her with love and chesed and teach her by example.

    What a great opportunity for Ahavas Yisroel
    Guest
    What a great opportunity for Ahavas Yisroel

    15 or 10 or 5 or even a few girls can get together now, few days before Seminary starts, and demand that their friend be allowed in or they won’t go. Parents can back them up and demand refunds based on the outrageous behavior of the “hanholo.”

    Two sides?
    Guest
    Two sides?

    Maybe like shtei se’ifim. What two sides are there for the head of a seminary to write such a yentishe, mean, holech rochil like email? Is this anyone who can Inspire anyone? Is this anyone who cares in the least about not destroying the next generation? Part of the problem is that people somehow think that this is okay. It’s beyond disgraceful, especially the feeling that someone, a yiddishe tochter, can be left behind and thrown to the dust. It goes against every principle of the Rebbe and of chasidus. And that there are the two sides – sick and… Read more »

    Mr. Not-so-Naive
    Guest
    Mr. Not-so-Naive

    A big portion of the negative comments here are identical and repetitive which makes it seem like a coordinated effort to abuse the comments section and flood them with many comments from only one or two people. It’s offensive to the reader who appreciates hearing other people’s opinions and is subjected to reading a barrage of one or two people’s repetitive comments. I understand the frustration but I’m distracted by the emotion and “noise”. Please state the facts and let the readers draw their own conclusions and emotions. The friend(s) quoted in the article are clearly upset but are very… Read more »

    Michael
    Guest
    Michael

    Only read some comments. Very personal posting. A father grown up here Brings back much too many hurtful memories. Needless to say I’ve been through this as a youngster. It’s not fun. Something that will be with me every day I breath. Sad to see this is happening today. Indeed how sad. Wonder why there’s so many otd’s out there. Schools leaders rabbis blame yourselfs

    This can drive someone OTD
    Guest
    This can drive someone OTD

    My friends daughter had gone OTD and then afterwards became a BT. She was rejected from a school fot BT. Was told to wait 6 months so they could see if she was a real BT. She is israeli and had no way to stay in usa as a result. She was so hurt she went back to OTD completely. She later married and now her children are raised totally without yiddishkeit in israel. It really matters if someone is judged unfairly when they are trying so hard to do tshuva

    Could be any of them really
    Guest
    Could be any of them really

    Sounds like it could have been any one of the personality-disordered seminary directors I and my friends had the misfortune of being under the ‘care’ of for our seminary years. Somehow people keep sending their kids to them despite hearing the horror stories… might be time to demand that anyone in charge of a group of teenagers away from their families for a year should be well trained and have transparent checks and balances in place…

    something's fishy
    Guest
    something's fishy

    To me it sounds like some bored bochurim who decided to have fun and create excitement with some controversy.

    Not only her. No oversight.
    Guest
    Not only her. No oversight.

    My family was thrown out of a Chabad Shul because of Loshon Hora that’s totally untrue, and we were not even asked for our side of the story.

    This is what happens when there is no oversight and every Chabad moisad is run at the sole discretion of its directors. No other frum community functions like this.

    Just sayin
    Guest
    Just sayin

    This situation is not new. The corruption has been going on for years. All “Chabad” seminaries who take in girls from outside their respective communities should only be allowed to operate under a central authority that oversees standards. Also while COL rightly brought this shameful situation to the public, they erred by not including at least the name of the seminary so people could know who are incompetent and not make the mistake in future of applying there for their daughters.

    sad reality we live in
    Guest
    sad reality we live in

    this principle could be destroying this girls life forever… 2 weeks before seminary ?! how can she do such a thing?? i wonder what would have happened if 20 of her students told her that they are no longer interested 2 weeks before sem! its sad that staff members dont realise how big their impact is on the girls, on the parents and family who will now have to go crazy to find plans for next year, cancel the ticket etc etc why give young people such a hard time for seminary?? why cant the student voice her opinion on… Read more »

    The ultimate Boss
    Guest
    The ultimate Boss

    The head of this seminary does not realise that there is a Boss, who, judging by this email would fail her on all accounts of caring for His neshamos. Before gimmel tammuz, what would the Rebbe’s reaction be had he seen such a horrific letter throwing a neshama to the curb? The fact that it is based on hearsay makes it all the more criminal. This brings in to question the middos and hashkafos of the person running the seminary. Did any of the chassidus taught at this seminary seep through to the admin? A neshama is priceless not a… Read more »

    This is how you mint a Footsteps patron
    Guest
    This is how you mint a Footsteps patron

    The seminary admins that behave like this are singlehandedly growing the OTD population. And then they look at the girls who did get in and tell them how important yiddishkeit is, when these girls can see right theough them that they’re selling snakeoil. So just a total waste of tens of thousands of dollars. They should just skip sem and start their lives (work for a shliach, school or whomever) or go to BR in CH. If there were ever a ROI on the fortune spent, those days are long gone.

    Disgraceful
    Guest
    Disgraceful

    Disgusting abuse of power .How is someone in such a position capable of writing such a damaging letter.I really hope they apologize.

    We Know
    Guest
    We Know

    We know which Seminary this is and we also know who the student is. That is not the issue

    Just curious to hear from the Seminary side what they heard about this student,

    Bochrim take heed
    Guest
    Bochrim take heed

    The day bochurim decide to absolutely refuse a seminary girl as a zivug will be the day these atrocious money making places are closed.
    Parents, the home environment, the residential area and the residents therein create and nurture the personality and character (middos) of a girl
    We have seen the school system, the yeshiva system, the critical viewing of our neighbors and still we don’t get it; our youngsters have nothing but bad vibes gleaned from our new-world religious hashkofo
    Kiruv is a money spinner. Looking after our own clearly ain’t!

    Abuse of power
    Guest
    Abuse of power

    It’s simply an unacceptable, insensitive abuse of power, particularly in the draconian way, in which it was handled. To mete down such punishment, without further correspondence, or recourse is criminal. Any G-d-fearing leader, person, or community, should address this with the relevant parties immediately, and not just look the other way.
    Good Shabbos

    FEH!
    Guest
    FEH!

    this is not our way! this is not lubavitch! this is not the rebbes way! and not the rebbes mossad to do such a thing to bas yisroel, the rebbes a kind feh! feh!
    please someone name the mossad at this would put a stop to this!

    Publisher
    Guest
    Publisher

    This occurs in all our Mosdos , these Perps will get their due , Hashem will not let them off the hook ,they will be punished severely , they will know when Hashem gets even with them , heaven watch over our children , there are these abuses amongst us .

    IS SEM IN ERETZ YISROEL AN ABSOLUTE MUST
    Guest
    IS SEM IN ERETZ YISROEL AN ABSOLUTE MUST

    mY GRANDDAUGHTER AND A BUNCH OF HER FRIENDS DECIDED NOT TO GO TO ISRAEL AND TO STAY IN n.y.sEMINARY.GOT GOOD HASHKOFOS WENT ON  MIVTZOIM PLUS HAD TH VERY FAMOUS TWO-WEEK TOUR IN ERETZ YISROEL ANS SAVED THEIR PARENTS A BIG BUNCH OF UNNECESSARY EXPENSE AND r ALL VERY HAPPY THAT THEY DID IT.

    To all those doubting the story
    Guest
    To all those doubting the story

    I know the girl and I know for a fact this is true.

    Dear rejected
    Guest
    Dear rejected

    One of the reasons for going to seminary is to learn to be a teacher. Maybe you can use you’re airline ticket and fly to where the seminary is (Israel?) and get a job, either paid or voluntary, teaching people Yiddishkeit. Hatzlocha!

    Naysayers nareshkeit
    Guest
    Naysayers nareshkeit

    COL would not post this unless they confirmed directly the story is true. So that point is moot. The fact that people like #70 even exist in our midst, makes me understand how and why so many go OTD these days. That comment in itself is directly the reason WHY they do. I also strongly believe this poster is an abuser, on some level, and he/she is guilty, and will have to answer to a higher authority. He/She is THE reason(s) why our kids have gone off. And you all know it. Until then, it seems we are indeed unraveling,… Read more »

    If u publish
    Guest
    If u publish

    This then publish the name of he seminary

    To #14
    Guest
    To #14

    Anyone who had daughters in the seminary system know that this is not the first time it happened. It happened to a friend of my daughter the year she was there. Time to say NO to this once and for all.

    Huh?
    Guest
    Huh?

    Trying to act like the victim? Nu, thts why the girls act the way they do in crown heights!enough of this nonsense and prostkeit! You girls know very well the rules of tsnius and yet we shoukd love u, accept u and respect u although you have no respect for any authority! And chas vsholom when a director has stsndards? All u backing the student, how do u know how far she went? Just backing her is going to lead her to improve? Feh feh, sshe is just going to feel she is right, no need to change, improve

    same thing happened with boys yeshivas
    Guest
    same thing happened with boys yeshivas

    shame on them!!

    Yakov Kirschenbaum
    Guest
    Yakov Kirschenbaum

    BH

    We have nowhere near enough information to know who’s right here. This article is inadequate.

    Bigger community issue at hand
    Guest
    Bigger community issue at hand

    These letters are indicative of a much bigger issue we face. There are too few institutions to cater to a growing community. There just isn’t enough spots and that generates a competitive selective process that often pushes down on individuals instead of lifting them up. The process needs to change. The language needs to change, the way students are treated needs to change. Let’s change this. Let’s continue to Rebbe’s work of bringing our youth in. Let’s not push them away.

    to #78 #78 #78
    Guest
    to #78 #78 #78

    LoTs of very true points

    to #88
    Guest
    to #88

    Yiddishkeit is a gift for us
    We don’t do anyone personal favors when we are frum
    And when we are chas vsholom not
    we are punishing ourselves

    HaMelech Basadeh
    Guest
    HaMelech Basadeh

    Did the minaheles give any thought to the fact that if this young lady were in her program she would have a better opportunity to improve herself in all ways. Oftentimes young people have friends that parents and teachers don’t approve of, but the individual is still shtark. And on the other hand, sometimes young people get pushed into the wrong crowd because of the harshness of teachers and family, etc. Those in power should take a long hard look at themselves to see if they are part of the problem or part of the solution!

    A secretary in a seminary
    Guest
    A secretary in a seminary

    I have worked in a seminary for years. I think that today’s youth need to realize that double standards will never work. People post outrageous photographs of themselves on social media without considering that literally the entire world may see them. Personally I think that this young lady needs to look at herself in the mirror and realize in the end it is her and the Abishter. Not internet commentors. We all like to justify ourselves when we err, but does that make us right? I do not believe that any G-d fearing person would just prevent a girl from… Read more »

    To #82
    Guest
    To #82

    It is an email (as the article states) therefore there is no letterhead. This is a verified email. The only question is whether to publicize the name of the Seminary or not. For that, one needs to ask a Rav.

    Legal Issues
    Guest
    Legal Issues

    Assuming that the school, in writing, send her an acceptance letter then she should be entitled to a full refund all payments she made, including the ticket if not refundable. This is unless the school can prove with a witness or other similar proof, that she violated a term of the agreement.

    #110 Read the emails
    Guest
    #110 Read the emails

    It is very clear who is doing the injustice, just read.
    #1 Relying on Loshon Horah.
    #2 No phone call was made to the girl. A true Seminary director does not write in such fashion, let alone dismiss a girl via email.
    This is truly incredulous and a disgrace to this so called director.
    May Hashem strengthen this wonderful girl who so much wants to grow in Yiddishkeit and shower her with blessings to lead & live an abundantly successful life B’Gashmiyus and B’Ruchniyus starting now!

    Eqalizer
    Guest
    Eqalizer

    The heads of many boys yeshivas do the same , they are litarally a bunch of abusers they should be beaten , the Holy Commander of the world will take care of these misfits . Good shabbos to all the real Jews in the world .

    #78 #88
    Guest
    #78 #88

    All your 4 points are very nice but are solely based on your personal knowledge and experience. As for my self, being in the umbrella of Chinuch 21 plus years. All 4 points do happen and unfortunately more often than not. Have you ever heard of a Choson or Kallah that have to make their own wedding plans and sometimes even have to fundraiser for it? Everyone of your points do happen quite often.

    Really Disgusted
    Guest
    Really Disgusted

    This is complete garbage
    Look what the world has come too.
    Poor girl now can’t go to the seminary she has been so excited to attend.
    And now instead of coming together and doing something about it.
    Some of you guys are just saying how the girl is wrong?? and we have the story wrong???
    Who the **** do you think you are to go and say this?
    this is a girl who what i would call was abused.
    There are some really nasty people in this world.
    Just the way this email was written up to the girl is disgusting and babyish.

    Dear Anonymous,
    Guest
    Dear Anonymous,

    What a special girl you are! I am so impressed with your response. How you did it without anger is incredible. You are so special and they honestly don’t deserve you in that seminary.
    We all need to work on ourselves. It neve comes easy. But you seem full of toichen and I’m sure you’ll find a better place….

    To the young woman:
    Guest
    To the young woman:

    Hashem is showing you a bracha. This is clearly a sign that you do not want to be at this seminary. Why would you want to learn from people who are so cruel and harsh? This is the biggest bracha and your tafkid is elsewhere.

    Sick to my stomach
    Guest
    Sick to my stomach

    One of the most disgusting things i have ever heard in my entire life. There are some really nasty people in this world. Maybe hopefully now all of our parents, will realize why us teenagers have a hard time sticking to our faith. I hope this seminary and the people running it will suffer tremendously.
    And realize that they abused a inncocent child.

    Don’t know all details
    Guest
    Don’t know all details

    I’m not taking any sides but this is my take from all this. 1) All these Chinuch institutions; seminaries, Mesivtas and Zals. Need more oversight and accountability. From my experience, many just open up in a random place, make promises, take Bochurim and do what ever they want. Generally, these places put the image of the hanholo or institution before the ones they’re there to serve. 2) don’t hang on the fence; either take the girl and try her out (personally see if she changed…) or don’t accept her altogether. To do this is just wrong and a very big… Read more »

    To 78 and 112
    Guest
    To 78 and 112

    You probably also believe man never walked on the moon.
    Welcome to 2018. Not everything makes sense. People in this world are nasty.

    Sholom Ber
    Guest
    Sholom Ber

    Hey Kid and parents, Run don’t walk; away from this seminary. This is a taste of whats to come if you’d go. And to all the friends that are going to this place, I’d think really hard at this point whether or not this is the place you want to spend your year and your parents hard earned dollars. I’m willing to bet that if this is the treatment you get before you actually go what your year is going to be like; Stay away, go anywhere else. Dear Seminary principle: Please stay away from Crown Heights you are not… Read more »

    The System
    Guest
    The System

    Is corrupt!

    Wha?
    Guest
    Wha?

    This girl was given an unbelievable chance. The hanhala are tzadikim in giving her a chance. She CHOSE to laugh in their face to continue in her hefker life and spit in their face. B”H the hanhala had enough backbone to not accept this type of girl and so not lower their standard for the girls that are Frum and ascot as we parents want. This girl has a lot to learn in frumkeot as well as mendhlichkeit. Good luck to her and stop threatening that she will fry out. If this stand on the part of the seminary based… Read more »

    To #105 Truth of blogs are not confirmed
    Guest
    To #105 Truth of blogs are not confirmed

    Anonymous posts on col and other blogs are Not necessarily ‘confirmed to be true’. That’s at the discretion of the reader who has to make their own determination whether to read it and whether to believe it’s true.

    Special
    Guest
    Special

    Whoever wrote that the girl is special why and how Please explain by her behavior? Actions? Friends?

    High school Teacher
    Guest
    High school Teacher

    I began reading the comments last night and as is obvious the anger, frustration and pain is very clear! I teach in a non Chabad HS that is a college preparatory school and let me tell you that you can be rejected after you have been admitted on grounds of moral turpitude (in our language, not tznius etc) and if you don’t maintain your required GPA. THAT BEING SAID we know that the experience of going to seminary is not at all about acquiring a career!! As one who is in education I would tread more carefully when dealing with… Read more »

    Number 124
    Guest
    Number 124

    Please don’t put the blame of your responsibility and your personal Yiddishkeit on outside people.
    Are you so weak that you can’t even control your own self, you need others to sway you back and forth?

    Cult
    Guest
    Cult

    This woman is running a cult. Not a seminary. One of the attributes of a cult is for the leader to seperate his/her subjects from his/her relationships. If she was hanging around with a bunch of drug addicts she should not have even gotten an interview. And if not, of what relevance are her friendships? The only relevance should be her own behavior, so her citing which females she’s hanging out with as a reason for being disinvited is proof that she was spared a cult and she should enjoy a visit to that destination and then return to spend… Read more »

    Email
    Guest
    Email

    You can read the email
    You can read response from girl
    You can read the rejoiner
    Of course it is true

    #127 Sholom Ber
    Guest
    #127 Sholom Ber

    It’s not just one person. You’d be shocked and horrified how many directors/principals have done similar in and out of CH and it is not just a seminary issue. It’s all ages and grades and it’s an abuse of power.

    #129
    Guest
    #129

    COL would never post something like THIS without verifying. Unless I am totally off, this website is not known to just post nareshkeit and loshon horo. You “know” better!

    I bet you are “part” of this problem, hook, line and sinker.

    Shame on you and shame on where we have gone.

    The ONLY ones in jeopardy daily are our kids. Our sons and daughters that have such hardships within our own amazing communities as it is.

    Ahavas Yisroel
    Guest
    Ahavas Yisroel

    Dry your tears, Don’t carry this hurt in your heart my dear, you are a very special neshama, Hashem has amazing plans for you, just look for the signs, The Rebbe is looking out for you.

    Talking from experience
    Guest
    Talking from experience

    To the girl this happened to, it might be very frustrating now, but telling you from experience, in the future you’ll laugh about it. Seminaries are one big money-making scheming people. Beis Rivkah seminary is just as good as any other seminary. Use your ticket to go and tour Israel and take in all it has to offer, and then come back and get on with your life.

    Problem with our Education system
    Guest
    Problem with our Education system

    This is what is wrong with our educational system. #1 – the lack of emotional intelligence when writing such a detrimental email to a young girl, and #2 not thinking of the grave consequences and repercussions this may lead in the future. When will the communities learn that this type of attitude turns our generation of children off? When will they learn that they single-handedly kill our children? An 18-year-old girl, who is trying to do the right thing, and perhaps is not 100% up to par by the standards set by an organization – instead of reaching out to… Read more »

    Tolerate
    Guest
    Tolerate

    That email was not written by an educator. Plan and simple. A conversation where a child can feel heard is more suitable – any educator with 1 month experience knows that. No matter if this girl was not tznius or had boyfriends – or whatever the prey was – such an email does not go out in such a manner. Yikes is All I can say. Retract and give the girl a shot. It’s clear as day that this girl obviously slipped up and erred from her response email back – she certainly insinuated mistakes made – but cmon people… Read more »

    Hashem Yerachem!
    Guest
    Hashem Yerachem!

    This director certainly has the spiritual blood of this girl on her hands!(I feel almost sorrier for HER than the girl for what she will undoubtedly have to answer for on High! May Hashem bentch both of them with a year full of clarity and understanding!

    Ahavas Yisroel
    Guest
    Ahavas Yisroel

    perhaps the director of the seminary needs to learn Pirkei Avos , and take it to heart!!!

    hearsay?!
    Guest
    hearsay?!

    what was the principal supposed to to send a detective to take pictures ?! that is how you figure fings out…by asking around and getting the information you need even in 2018…

    Stop already.
    Guest
    Stop already.

    My daughter didnt get accepted into seminary in Eretz Yisroel, so she went to BR in our own CH (excellent program, by the way!) and the 20k plus that we saved we gave her to help for a downpayment on her new house, BH! The community has to get a grip on itself. The comments here are ridiculous. Teach your children that every experience in life is a learning experience, even getting rejected from seminary. Teach your children resilience, not to collapse because the world did not go their way. Its basic life skills. -Seminary is not a right, its… Read more »

    is it true?
    Guest
    is it true?

    1st of all. the school and the head must be revealed . if not ,its alot like the fake news. if its true, the seminary must be closed or atleast have the staff responsible for the letter ,fired Yiddishkeit has nothing to do with being frum over hurting some1 like that. Moshe rabeinu destroyed the luchos abi not to hurt the yidden, and Hahem was extremely thankful for it.
    there must be a revamping and reset button on yiddishkeit. if ahavas yisroel is not in the front there theres no need for it

    my daughter told me to save my money
    Guest
    my daughter told me to save my money

    she researched places and figured she would learn more by being of service on shlichus.
    she is on shlichus now. B”H. I used the money for her wedding B”H.

    Administrator head has ego out of control
    Guest
    Administrator head has ego out of control

    With heads of school like this, a true sickness from the head.

    To the Mechaneches
    Guest
    To the Mechaneches

    From the girl’s response alone it seems that you lost out on a gem, sounds like she is a grounded bas chabad someone is not above the fray and has things to work on like everyone else, but what was is that you heard from your reliable sources that made you act in this way? Did you really think that after a call with you “pesach time” the girl would cut off all contact with her classmates of years and or defriend them because her seminary head is not fond of them? Wouldn’t that be rude and wrong in your… Read more »

    Sick and disgusting
    Guest
    Sick and disgusting

    No wonder everyone is leaving the derech. Who wants any part in this?

    This administrator could use some professional guidance.
    Guest
    This administrator could use some professional guidance.

    If my daughter were a recipient of such a letter, I would bring in investigators and lawyers to assess the situation and the actors in this play. Why didn’t the administrator ask the student to come in and talk? Why did she feel the need to write in red, as if she’s threatening or thinking irrationally, why wasn’t the “reliable source” invited to meet with the girl and administrator, why was this situation handled in such a one-sided way? Now mind you, maybe the girl actually did not comply with the agreement; however, the professional thing would be to have… Read more »

    Imagine
    Guest
    Imagine

    How amazing would it be if they resolved this in a different way. I hope the director self-reflects and readmits the student. Now that would be Moshiach times.

    Been there done that
    Guest
    Been there done that

    I feel your pain. I am the father of a mesivta age bochur (not in NY) who had a similar story. The RY accepted hearsay about my son and refused him after being accepted. As of now we have not been able to forgive the RY, I hope to be able to in the future (and I pray my son was not affected – he got into a different Mesivta BH after much heartache). Don’t give up! Be strong! Hashem is on your side! Don’t let one person determine your future unless that person is YOU!

    If you are going to be a leader....
    Guest
    If you are going to be a leader....

    ….in a system that aspires to the sacred mission of caring for while educating our children, then we must posses qualities that blend intellect with heart. If not possessed in the personality of the leader, then at the least she/he would be more effective and respected if personal and professional growth were worked on. Maybe prayer with guidance, a therapist, reading up on, speaking with other leaders respected in the field, communal resources, spiritual guidance…….

    Bas Yisroel
    Guest
    Bas Yisroel

    Unfortunately this story is not shocking to me. As a recent graduate of a Chabad high school, I have seen this happen again and again. These “Chabad” schools do whatever it takes to protect their precious reputation, not caring about the perception of Yiddishkeit they are impressing onto these girls, victims of one of the worst Aveiros. Lashon Hara, even when true, is what gave Hashem reason to deny us Moshiach all these millenia.

    SADLY, NOT AT ALL SURPRISED - HAPPENED TO MY KID TOO
    Guest
    SADLY, NOT AT ALL SURPRISED - HAPPENED TO MY KID TOO

    Sadly, I am not at all surprised and my own daughter had a similar experience, albeit thank G-d she was not the only to get The Letter, because it was sent to parents instead. Before we will focus on kiruv rechokim we should first be working on the preservation and kiruv of our own precious children in our schools and communities — we are slapping them around and pushing them away in droves. Ask almost any Tzach parent these days.

    Other better options
    Guest
    Other better options

    Go apply to non chabad seminaries they don’t look at you like a meal ticket and they treat you like gold! My two daughters went and they had an amazing experience! If this is what chabad seminaries have to offer its time to look elsewhere

    HaShem yerachem
    Guest
    HaShem yerachem

    Honestly, go to non Chabad seminary. I wish the Libavitch system was better but it’s better to go to not Lubavitcher places that actually help the girls and aren’t just a money maker vs going to Lubavitcher seminary and being treated like garbage

    Who ....
    Guest
    Who ....

    are the individuals monitoring these schools? If they care at all, maybe they should take on the mission of correcting flaws in Lubavitche schools before it’s too late .

    Reliable source
    Guest
    Reliable source

    Right, I’m sure

    A bochurs advice
    Guest
    A bochurs advice

    Move on. I’m a bochur fresh out of the system (the whole thing including smicha) I had an extreamly tough time throughout my yeshiva experience but I managed my way through it. I’m now out in the world and taking full responsibility for my life, choices and responsibilities. Let these bad experiences build you not break you!
    And most importantly don’t victimize yourself, and don’t let the bad people within our great community blind you of how amazing our lifestyle truly is.

    Mivtzoim
    Guest
    Mivtzoim

    So the next time I’m on Mivtzoim and someone asks me if he can put on tefillin, I should simply answer, “Sorry, I heard that you are a Mechallel Shabbos B’farhesia, so you cannot put on my Tefillin”.

    To # 46
    Guest
    To # 46

    How do you know it’s true?? The principal said she HEARD from a reliable source.Who is this reliable source? I notice that THAT namw was not mentioned, nor was the places observed by this Loshon Hora person. How cowardly. If the principal had at LEAST called the student in to have a talk and bring the so-called “reporter” into part of the meeting, then maybe something would be found out. But in this case I consider the principal to be immature, inexperienced in these matters, unprofessional, and ill-equipped for the job. Again, how DO you know the story about the… Read more »

    Hello
    Guest
    Hello

    Everyone take a chill pill. You’re not allowed to believe lashon hara. Especially when it’s so direct and causing people to speak it even more. Seminary is a privilege, and they owe you nothing. If something doesn’t work out, take it normally as a chossid. Being in the Rebbe’s moised is the biggest gift you can give yourself. Don’t go somewhere else. We have the treasure of Chassidus by us and it’s our task to spread it! The Rebbe is trusting us. Have some common sense, an open heart, a bit of humility, and don’t give in to the rubbish… Read more »

    Terrible
    Guest
    Terrible

    Maybe the Mrs should work for CNN fake news
    #Anonymoussources

    Sem was the worst decision of my life!!!!!!!!!
    Guest
    Sem was the worst decision of my life!!!!!!!!!

    I was a BT in a very authentic loving lubavitch community who misguidedly encouraged me to go to sem instead of college. From the minute I got off the plane and met the “MRS.” I knew I made a horrible mistake. In my community every step towards yiddishkeit was encouraged with authentic love and everyone was genuinely proud of me. In sem I was never good enough and told so,even though I made every effort to turn my life inside out. I was called “trash” I was accused of being not tznius with boys, I was threatened that they would… Read more »

    Chabad school system
    Guest
    Chabad school system

    Chabad school systems are the worst in civilized world – period. This same scenario happened to me except it was in a lubavitch mesivta. The hanholo there are insensitive, inconsiderate, and couldn’t care less about the bochurim that go there.

    care of our eigene kids__!!
    Guest
    care of our eigene kids__!!

    I have kids who were rejected out of the group of friends going to yeshiva and sems for NO justified reasons….2 of my kids had very difficult yrs in sem and yeshiva, due to other kids who were doing the wrong things….it costs us our heads in money, but our hearts and the kids hopes for a special inspiring chasidishe yr…they went thru lots of personal nisyonos thanks to the institutions using all thier efforts for the kids who were taking advantage of being in Israel etc however here obviously this girl is what tania and chabad is all about….someone… Read more »

    166 heartbreaking....
    Guest
    166 heartbreaking....

    what a heartbreaking story…as a shlucha and nothing to do with the sems, besides my own kids and each of thier stories,…i feel i would want to apologize to you
    i totally feel admirable of you for having the strength to choose to come back and find the true path…and BH how lucky you were to be in a community of real Lubavitchers. they have a lot to teach us all
    broche vehatzloche!

    to no 157 and 158
    Guest
    to no 157 and 158

    “better to throw your kids in a fire then to send them to the yevesectszia schools” the fridicker rebbe
    they tore ahvas and yiras hashem out of yiddishkiet and the strongest sina to lubavitch the rebbe please dont be blinded by the show they put on to show they love yiddishkiet it a show for a farshtunkene peice of olam haba they wont put on teffilin with someone unless there is potential for him to go to yeshivah they are in it for olam haba and the MONEY signed someone who went through the misnagdishe school sytem

    To #162
    Guest
    To #162

    Your mind works in mysterious ways, forming connections between unrelated topics.
    A school is not an outreach center. They have their standard and want their students to be people that will live up to that standard.
    Mivtzoim is chessed, not a structured school. Helping another Jew do another mitzvah.

    I have no opinion on who is correct in this story since I know virtually none of the details, I am only responding to your comment.

    What ....
    Guest
    What ....

    ….are the consequences for all involved? Yes, ALL involved.

    why the uproar
    Guest
    why the uproar

    there was an agreement, and the girl didn’t keep her part…so why should a seminary risk having her when she clearly doesn’t follow through. this would be irresponsible of the seminary to knowingly take a girl that doesn’t follow rules and can most probably bring others down or do things that aren’t safe. please…all you finger pointers, you don’t run a sem. so stop deciding what to do till you are in that place. and sem age isn’t a 3yr. old. if frumkeit decisions are based on this than obviously its fragile enough that its looking for an excuse to… Read more »

    Impartial
    Guest
    Impartial

    This tempest is not about an at-risk girl. I know her. She is rock solid. She deserves an apology!

    To #173
    Guest
    To #173

    Please enlighten us what she did wrong since you seem to know, this would really help her if she just understood. Are you the reliable source?

    To 173
    Guest
    To 173

    You do not know the whole story. Do you think that just because a “reliable” source said so it IS so? Furthermore, there are much more professionally appropriate ways to handle this situation, and the principal handled this in a very unprofessional and socially immature way. And again, you do no know!

    Unfortunately
    Guest
    Unfortunately

    This does happen.. I wonder why the seminary has not posted here, telling what really happened,or denying without revealing their name. Was the shliach called about the girl to verify. There r too many unknown facts,so b4 blaming either the seminary or the girl. Maybe col can find out the truth and without names verify. While I was teaching 12th grade a few years ago,a girl was accepted and then sent am email that she was rejected c of what the seminary heard about her. I called a Rov to ask if that was permitted, bc not getting accepted is… Read more »

    Rov in California
    Guest
    Rov in California

    An apology would be in order however the damage has been done , name names , this school should be shut down , we shall then aftetwards apologize to the school,

    And I thought Jews were smart!
    Guest
    And I thought Jews were smart!

    Where was their seichel? The fact that the girl wants to attend the seminary shows that she wants to do the right thing and make some changes in her life. No one is forcing her to go, and G*d knows we need to attract as many Jews as we can! Another thing; why wouldn’t the seminary at least ASK THE GIRL about these allegations before kicking her to the curb? THAT would’ve been the mentschlich thing to do!

    name the school
    Guest
    name the school

    Thats the least you should do.
    Im sure that is for the best, Who would want to go to a semnary
    whose mechanchim emailed a rejection letter to a young girl- no consideration- no heart.

    innuendos
    Guest
    innuendos

    It is shameful to play the fool

    Everyone knows the Seminary it was alluded to here and on another site referred to explicitly

    Protecting identities at this very late stage when ever so much damage has been created ; for the poor female victim and for seminaries in general.

    A grip ought to be rendered by our Rabbinical leaders and this taken firmly in hand and sorted at the highest level

    No more sem
    Guest
    No more sem

    As a mother of daughters I can honestly say that done with the whole sem thing. It’s a year of over-priced sleepaway camp in Israel that the girls think will change their lives. They’ve been acculturated to believe that without sem, life can’t go on. It’s so wrong. While there are lots of good teachers and so many valuable experiences, the management ( I should say mismanagement) is unacceptable. It has become a money-making business with directors who lack true leadership. I’m done with sem. I don’t recommend sem in Israel to anyone. What a shame. It is truly shameful… Read more »

    The principal
    Guest
    The principal

    does not have the appropriate skills and awareness necessary for being at the helm. Wisdom and sensitivity, along with fair opportunity to meet were sorely absent. Although I can understand that there are people who are cut and dry, rules are rules, etc. , as an educational leader myself I maintain that more depth and maturity was needed. Furthermore, it seems more than likely that the Rebbe would never condone the manner in which this situation unfolded. Let’s think about that!

    To Comments : 115; 129  ;145 ;173:
    Guest
    To Comments : 115; 129 ;145 ;173:

    Thank you for inserting a bit of sanity into this madness. Your comments make the most sense and are not just emotional outbursts (as unfortunately the majority of the comments are). We’d be wise as a community to heed your words. Thank you!

    Bais Rivkah sem
    Guest
    Bais Rivkah sem

    in N.Y. was my best year of school. Highly recommend!

    College
    Guest
    College

    What kind of message are we sending our children? That if they try to do the right thing, but can’t fully do it 100%than they are not worth it?!
    Maybe we should just stop sending out children to seminary and instead to college so they can actually make a living.
    I personally sent my children to college and they all grew. Now one of my daughters is a mother with a normal job.
    So…,
    Dear rejected,
    YOU HAVE AN OPPURTINITY! You can actually grow this year!

    To the Student
    Guest
    To the Student

    PLEASE PLEASE publish the name of the seminary and the principal, so that we will know to avoid it. You must help us protect our children from such conduct. It could C. V push them away

    Not the first time!
    Guest
    Not the first time!

    This isn’t the first time that this seminary has done such a thing, and it’s been done in the past for far less! If the hanhala thinks that such responses preserve its reputation, the it is profoundly mistaken and backwards. Such prejudice rejection, especially after being accepted and “committed to,” breeds anger and distrust in the system and in those who claim to keep girls in the right path. What a Chilul Hashem.

    To 184 and company
    Guest
    To 184 and company

    There are always a few bad apples, however good thing you are so very few. I hope you treat those around you—and if you are in a position of achrieous especially so—with more kindness and inspiration.

    #146
    Guest
    #146

    You said the school should be revealed and closed, and I agree. But do you realize this has happened in many of our schools?
    It’s not just seminary.

    To the girls who received this letter
    Guest
    To the girls who received this letter

    You are so lucky. You have now seen, without having to waste a minute in the place, the true colors of the person who runs the institution where you wanted to learn and grow. You are better off without them. G-d clearly has much better plans for you! Who can learn and grow under the leadership of someone with such stiffled views???!! It does not sound like a healthy environment and far from one of learning and growth. It sounds like an environment so insecure about what they are trying to teach – they must not have very good knowledge… Read more »

    This girl worked by me
    Guest
    This girl worked by me

    This girl worked by me this summer. She is sweet, frum and extremely hard working. She came here without her group of friends… If the seminary wanted to know what she was up to, you’d think they would have called me, but they didn’t!

    shidduch rejections
    Guest
    shidduch rejections

    They hurt more. In the end we look back and realize it was a brocha. So too this.

    Yosef
    Guest
    Yosef

    Interesting to note. We will be mekarev a girl /women who is barely dressed at all. Yet if our children dresses are a quarter of of an inch off we come down on them like a ton of bricks. I know a family where the parents are “shpitz” supposedly very machmir. When it comes to hachnosos orchim every excuse in the book not to take in guests. Another family where the mother is not so tzinius but will take in guests in her small apartment and go out of her way to do someone a favor. Is there any question… Read more »

    To those who have no problem with how this was handled:
    Guest
    To those who have no problem with how this was handled:

    I do not understand how you can make such a black and white statement that the girl deserves this because rules are rules, etc. First of all, you do not even know the facts. Secondly, you do not know who the so-called reliable source is, or even if there was one. Thirdly, I’ve never heard of a reputable school or administrator who doesn’t call a meeting with those involved. It is very unprofessional. All communication was done between informers and principal, which is clearly unjust. I think it’s a shanda. Furthermore, if we can imagine how the Rebbe might suggest… Read more »

    To #184
    Guest
    To #184

    thank goodness these comments and my discussions with many parents this week all point to the same conclusion.

    You ARE the problem, and your minions.

    For us personally, and we see many other – we are done with Sem. This girl is lucky. Whoever you are, walk proud!

    Saved For Life From a BT Bubby
    Guest
    Saved For Life From a BT Bubby

    What girl would want to go to a seminary headed by a person who is looking for girls with a set prototype. Young lady hold your head high move on! Yes at this age it is important. Look to your inner self and brochos of the Rebbe. Make the next few years the most meaningful and productive experiences of your life. Filled with people doing positive things, thinking positive and the Rebbe Ratzon. If you would even get reaccepted it would cause you deep emotional turmoil that will follow you into adulthood. You are strong I can tell because you… Read more »

     What can we as a community learn from this?
    Guest
    What can we as a community learn from this?

    It’s clear that the majority of the commentors harbor tremendous hurt, probably from their own negative experiences within our school system. So even the few rational commenters who try to put things into perspective and give a much healthier and more helpful view on the situation (See comment #184), still cannot heal the pain of the many commenters who side with pain of the girl who was rejected. Clearly this should be a wake up call to all of us who are in chinuch (and that includes every parent, as each parent has a responsibility to be mechanech their child/ren,… Read more »

    Reminds me of the United flight
    Guest
    Reminds me of the United flight

    reminds me of the United flight in which a man was forced and dragged off of a United flight, after he was already in his seat, in order to give the seat to a United pilot needing a flight connection. The guy sued because once you have a seat on an airplane, its yours- there is no turning back!
    Once you accept the girl, you cannot go back on your word.

    To 198
    Guest
    To 198

    No one said to ignore standards. Just the opposite. It’s just that standards are more than academics and behavior of students. Standards are also behavior and strategies of the adults in any school. In this case, it was the responsibility of an adult, assumingly schooled in ways to deal with out-of-the-usual situations, who fell short of maintaing high standards for a just, mature, yiddkshkite procedure. If we think about the Rebbe, for example, we can not ever imagine his proceeding in that manner. Nor can we imagine his recommending such leadership procedures. Let’s imagine a few ways in which he… Read more »

    to 200
    Guest
    to 200

    It seems here it’s Yiddishkeit and chassishe standards that this girl did not live up to the seminary’s expectations. Although I’m sure the Rebbe would encourage working with the girl, it seems the principle had already done so by making an arrangement with her previously. (I wonder how many other seminaries were willing to try and work with this girl.) I know of times (in exceptional circumstances) where the Rebbe told shluchim that if the behavior of a child will have such a negative effect on the other children in the school then the hanola has to do what’s best… Read more »

    to 198
    Guest
    to 198

    I don’t think changing schools with high standards is the problem. Not having schools for kids that aren’t fitting the box is what is the problem. Not every boy and girl out there is suited for tomchei temimim, even if they come from the most chashuva and yichus dich family in the world. But where should they go? If you send them to modern orthodox schools you are considered a traitor or pariah, you send them to modern sem/yeshiva even more so. So what’s the answer? Open mosdos for these kids, stop only catering to the cream of the crop… Read more »

    Disgust
    Guest
    Disgust

    This letter is the proverbial keyhole, onlooking the dirty politics of a non transparent seminary director. There is no reason the name and school of the director was not published here. Let the court of public opinion determine if this was just. If there is a proper reason, as opposed to some made up hearsay, let it be made known. Should the evidence be convincing, the offended party will have the right to not go public. This will ensure people do not abuse this. Allowing these cottonseed actions to continue, without cautioning the community of these shady under-dealings is wrong.… Read more »

    to 203
    Guest
    to 203

    The court of public opinion?
    Thats a horrible thing to say. The public is a monster of hate. Go ahead, say your name and take credit for what youre saying. You won’t, hiding under the “public opinion.
    Deindividuation.
    Distribution of responsibility
    The Mob mentality
    Group think.
    Get a life and learn psych 101

    202 Hit the Nail on the Head
    Guest
    202 Hit the Nail on the Head

    I grew up on shlichus and was the “black sheep” of the family because I was rebellious and wore jeans and listened to secular music. I was tossed around from yeshiva to yeshiva, always made to feel less than by both peers and family. I was always considered a problem because of how I looked and dealt with this issue into adulthood. I happen to live in an MO community now as an adult and its such a relief. Not one person looks down on me because of how I dress and I am considered fully frum!!! Never ever did… Read more »

    Horrible
    Guest
    Horrible

    I know this girl very well and she is a very tznius kind young women who is EXTREMELY hard working and this is just not fair to her. And I think that the principal should have at least wrote the letter a bit more nicely… this girl is now stuck for an entire year without any plans.

    I agree with 202 and 205
    Guest
    I agree with 202 and 205

    It’s heartbreaking to see how much pain there is in these comments. Like 198 suggests, it should be a wake up call to those in chinuch. 202, your idea of more accepting and tolerant schools I think is very good. I think we are heading in that direction but not fast enough. Schools like Lamplighters and Darchei Menachem are trying to accomodate the students who need a different approach. But more is needed. Then there are surely those who believe that these schools aren’t really chassidish enough for their children, even if their children need such an approach. So I… Read more »

    Backward logic
    Guest
    Backward logic

    If anything, the principal should reprimand those who said Loshon Hara for ruining a girls future- and the principal should be fired for communicating in such an aggressive manner- if they had any doubts about the girl they should’ve spoken to the girl to discuss misunderstanding

    X