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Monday, 15 Iyyar, 5779
  |  May 20, 2019

    Revital’s Deathbed Letter

    From the COLlive inbox: "I, Revital A., 19 years old, am standing on the threshold of death, so young, but already feeling all the gates of life shutting slowly before me. I am like a beautiful flower closing its petals." Full Story

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    1871 Tzemach Tzedek Edition

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    To Revital
    Guest
    To Revital

    Revital, you probably won’t read this, but let me say this: Please don’t blame yourself! You are a Jew and Hashem loves you like a father (and even more) – a kind of love that is beyond understanding and lasts forever. Nobody is perfect, we have all made mistakes in our life. You are 19 and deserve to live a happy and healthy long life just as much as anyone else. The gates are not shutting before you, they are more open now than ever. I wish that you should have a speedy recovery, and that you should continue to… Read more »

    my heart goes out to you
    Guest
    my heart goes out to you

    Can you tell us your full name and mothers name so we can all say tehillim for you

    a Bais Rivkah girl

    BD"H
    Guest
    BD"H

    Unfortunately, she has already passed on.

    SO SAD
    Guest
    SO SAD
    boruch dayan haemes.
    Guest
    boruch dayan haemes.
    ???
    Guest
    ???

    what was her last name?

    precious sensitive soul
    Guest
    precious sensitive soul

    she was way too hard on herself. Nevertheless may we all learn from her life and may her parents be comforted by such a wonderful neshomo G-d loaned them for so many precious years.

    WOW
    Guest
    WOW

    This letter has inspired me. life gets tough as a teenager girl growing up in our settings. yes, i know my family and friends love me but at times the temptations are so strong. im an average lubavitch 19 year old girl who has her ups and downs, but this letter was so inspiring. wow, thank you for posting this. im really gonna take it to heart. “you dont realize what you have got till its gone” …so true. i always say its not gonna take big leaders and rabbis to change our “tznius crisis” and other such things, it… Read more »

    i must be missing something
    Guest
    i must be missing something

    sorry, I just don’t get it. What is she trying to say? Rachmono lt’zal, a lot of people get tumors etc & they live frum, healthy lives. This creeped me out.

    Lesson from Holocaust
    Guest
    Lesson from Holocaust

    We dont know why things happen and its not for us to decide. We must not take life and health for granted but we dont know why things happen.

    Hashem Yirachem
    Guest
    Hashem Yirachem

    Wow, i am crying, May we be taken out of Golus by Moshiach immediately.

    Boruch Hoffinger                     BS"D
    Guest
    Boruch Hoffinger BS"D

    Tragic! Very hard to read. Painful!
    Another example of the great need to
    spread Torah, Mitzvoth and especially
    Chassidus.

    Musar
    Guest
    Musar

    What’s very sad is to have someone who’s suffering so much think that she’s being punished.

    anon
    Guest
    anon

    when a person in about to depart from this world, all their regrets come back to them… everythign becomes clear… so its not any use, sayign that she was too hard on herself

    who said?
    Guest
    who said?

    maybe this outstanding irl didnt pass away
    rumors get around real quik=ck we should daven for her and beg hashem on her behalf that she recovers and if its to late then… we should ask hashem for tchias hameisim! may we merit the comming of moshiach tzidkeinu now
    -a worried sister

    YAY YAY YAY
    Guest
    YAY YAY YAY

    WE BECAME FRUMIES… YOU BETTER BE TZNIUS OR ELSE YOU WILL GET YENE MACHLA…
    crazy.

    to 16
    Guest
    to 16

    im surprised at you! its not so much the punishment but rather the ideas she writes yhere…..

     response 16
    Guest
    response 16

    how dare u say that! this is one of the last requests of a sick girl, and u dare make a joke of it. u should be ashamed of urself. u chose to take the article that way,please dont make it as something this poor girl said.

    who is she?
    Guest
    who is she?

    Where did this letter come from? I know it’s from Revital, but how did it get to COL? when did this happen, and where else was this letter published?
    sorry, not trying to put it down in any way, the ideas expressed here are meaningful, and should be taken to heart. Just trying to verify some facts

    i'm shaking!!!!!!!
    Guest
    i'm shaking!!!!!!!

    i know the temptation of “wrong” attention!! I know the constant guilt… when i dress for the cheap thrill!! i know exactly what shame and regret you is tormented by!!! but Dear Revital!! dont be sooo (musar-dik) tough on yourself!!! most of us STRUGGLE with teenage issues!! (though i’m still -married and tempted in my late 20s) be proud of your COURAGE to speak out and inspire soo many of us!! who need a wake-up call!! i’ve never felt soo motivated to improve MY OWN DIGNITY until now IN YOU Z’CHUS!! your words penetrated my soul to the CORE!!! YOU… Read more »

    chabad!! NOT LAKWOOD!!
    Guest
    chabad!! NOT LAKWOOD!!

    SINCE WHEN DO WE LUBAVITCHERS BELIEVE THAT IF YOU BEHAVE = YOU’LL BE REWARDED (HAPPY)

    LAST TIME I CHECKED

    THE REALLY HAPPY ONES SEEM TO BE DRESSED LIKE CHEAP…
    AND SEEM TO BE DOING JUST FINE, (MONEY, KIDS, HEALTH, VACATIONS, BOOGAGBOO whatever they want!!)

    so dont keep preaching “the Rebbeh promisses…”

    that was never chabad’s approach!!

    we are all ok! on our level!!

    no one needs to be lectured about empty threats!

    to #21
    Guest
    to #21

    people who dress like desperate cheap… (you know whats) are advertising to the world the obvious fact that they arent HAPPY, a happy person dosent have the need to seek attention from anyone other than her own husband!! these are sad, desperate, unfulfilled, lonely, love-starved! souls desperate for the shallowest DEGRADING attention DIRECTLY B/C the are soo LONELY, UNFULFILLED! and PEERPREASURED! A MATURE ADULT WHO IS TRULY HAPPY IN LIFE WILL NOT HAVE THE NEED TO LOWER HER DIGNITY OR CAVE TO PEERPREASURE OR…. TO DERIVE PLEASURE FROM TREATING YOUSELF LIKE A PEACE OF MEAT, NOTHING MORE THAN AN OBJECT!… Read more »

    100% TRUE #22
    Guest
    100% TRUE #22

    i used to be exactly like that until i was told by my older sister what my atire was really announcing to the world about me! and my self esteem issues today i feel proud to announce by my dress how i’m not a emotionally needy girl w self-image problems my dressing decently w taste and style) w/o resorting to cutting corners, i now send a proud signal to the world i’m NOT SHALLOW i am NOT desperate!! i am NOT only worth my looks!! i feel good enough about my value to save my PRIVACY for the special person… Read more »

    DONT GET IT!
    Guest
    DONT GET IT!

    lets just talk about happy things!!!!
    i dont get what she writes:
    It is hard for me to write about it, but I think you can guess.!!!

    to 24
    Guest
    to 24

    i understant what she is hinting at!

    if u dont get it it probably dosent apply to you!!!

    btw

    read coments posted #20-23

    i think its clear to most typical girls w low self esteem!!

    #24
    Guest
    #24

    i think you dont wanto get it!

    BDE
    Guest
    BDE

    what a precious NESHOMO

    THANQ COLIVE!
    Guest
    THANQ COLIVE!

    thanks to colive for some stirring quality content!!

    to col live
    Guest
    to col live

    i was crying when i saw this

    b'h
    Guest
    b'h

    we have to know the good results about keeping tznius and be more positive about it, asseh tov!!!!

    number 22
    Guest
    number 22

    i agree with you 100% !!!!

    NO SURPRISE
    Guest
    NO SURPRISE

    if all a beis rivka girl sees is the (left overs in ) crown heights = the 10% at the bottom of the CHABAD pail

    -i’m not attacking all CH-ers! ch”v only the visible majority

    C.H. unfortunately is comprised of the a-typical lubavichers

    those not willing or qualified or both to go on shlichus to yehupitz

    with these GREAT rolrmodeles for our daughters … what do you expect??!!

    monky see monky do!!

    sorry to the handful of C.H residents who have self respect and live for shlichus! the above need not affend you as it does not pertain to you!!
    HYR

    re POST#22
    Guest
    re POST#22

    you might be right

    but you wont fix a self-loathing problem by pointing out the “real-message” skimpy dress says about the girl

    not always the case.
    Guest
    not always the case.

    I dont think that all girls that dress untzniusdik have low self asteems. Some of them just want to fit in with the secular world. They think they look good ( and some do) Some do look cheap. But some dress in high end fashion, of course not appropriate for a Lubavitcher girl. But saying that all girls dress that way for attention or because of low self asteem, is not always true. The women who dress tznius, but dress shlumpy are also causing attention.

    To Number 16 and all who presume to know G-d
    Guest
    To Number 16 and all who presume to know G-d

    No one knows why one person gets sick and one is healthy , it is not for a human to decide that it is a punishment from G-d if we fail at his Torah. This is a human world and many of you writers say deporable and judgemental comments as if you have never been tested in life in your yiddishkeit. What is the saying “Don’t Judge Man Until You have stood in his place or walked in his shoes” instead of spitting hateful words and telling people that you have the answer why dont you try writing a poem… Read more »

    Some Facts Please
    Guest
    Some Facts Please

    Please could someone please verify that this is a true story even, where did it drop out of, is it fiction, just curious.

    a shlucha
    Guest
    a shlucha

    Firstly, I don’t think she is saying that if she would have behaved differently she would not get sick… (as some wrote in the first comments). I think the message here is that life is precious and in her case too short, and she wishes she would have used out her years better and I think we can all learn from this (and unfortunately other recent tragedies) that life is a gift and very precious and appreciate it and use to the fullest. About the tznius… in this country where I live the women dress so immodestly in the summer… Read more »

    im absolutley appalled by #32,
    Guest
    im absolutley appalled by #32,

    interesting how people like you with a hatred for CH’ers call them close minded when that whole generalization in itself reflects a closed way of thinking.

    to 37 and 23 = 100%!!!!
    Guest
    to 37 and 23 = 100%!!!!

    i gree!!!!

    been there done that!!!

    to #34
    Guest
    to #34

    read comment #22 u are clearly not familiour w C.H. or you feel defenssive about the Public statement your atire reveals about you, and your self respect-esteem! if you are simply not very close w any of these young women! get to know (well! very well) make them feel safe to open up to you!! any young women who feels the need to exibit her body (by revealling more than halacha allowes, that is!) u might be right in theory t(hat there does exist a women who will dress in a degrading manner yet dosent crave the wrong attention! perhaps… Read more »

    to 38
    Guest
    to 38

    unfortunately she is right!! ch is comprised of only a certain type of lubavitch that won’t go on shluchos.

    never judge chabad by the ch sample. it is very misleading

    to 32
    Guest
    to 32

    excuse me, you are saying that anyone who lives in CH is NOT QUALIFIED to go on shlichus?!?!?!?! most of them were told by the rebbe to live there!!! that’s just as great as shlichus! i dont even live in crown heights, but i am shocked. hello!! i can’t believe you said they are BAD ROLE MODELS for the children!!!!!!! some people arent MEANT to go to some great place like you’re probably living in. woowwww so you’re a shluchah wowww i think i should bow to you. omg i am SO disturbed. & i’m not even a crown heightser.

    why they were told to stay in Ch
    Guest
    why they were told to stay in Ch

    The people the Rebbe told to stay in Crown Heights is not necessarily a compliment. The may not be suitable to be on shlichus.

    Of course this is not the case for everyone.

    to #42
    Guest
    to #42

    actually, i am a crown heightser, and have been all my life, i write what i write because it’s true, not bec. i’m pro or anti ch.

    whether they were told not to go on shlichus or they chose not to, is not relevant to they main point:

    that ch is not representative of the 90+ percent of chabad around the globe.

    (there is a PRIDE, JOY, AND GRACE that is soo typical of the 90% of shluchos around the world, which is very rare to find

    to # 40
    Guest
    to # 40

    I am very familiar with C. H because I was born and lived in CH my entire life. You do not know me, my atire is on the tznius side. I dress stylish, but tznius. And I do know these girls very well because some of them are my relatives who I am close to. They do not dress this way because they want attention or because they have low self asteems. Simply because they want to live up to the most updated looks and are very modern. I would say that dressing this way shows on a persons character… Read more »

    ladies ....
    Guest
    ladies ....

    You all need to get out and do more acts of kindness and spend way less time on the internet!

    Inspire or Aspire?
    Guest
    Inspire or Aspire?

    Whether the letter is r”l true or not, There are people suffering all around us, in many different ways. If we argue about the points of this heartbreaking letter – then we are truly missing the ikur here. Sensitivety is something we all need to brush up on – on a daily or even moment to moment basis. Our lives with all the wonderful inventions have given us a chance to help or to delve deeper into ourselves – we get to pick or choose . Can we find the time to really stop and see and not be so… Read more »

    Starting over
    Guest
    Starting over

    Each example, more or less, forces us to compare and/or involve ourselves in some others destinies. That process polishes our personalities and the point when we feel proud of ourselves and superior in self improving is the first step of starting all over in the further improvement.

    7 @ U
    Guest
    7 @ U

    let us first verify that this story is indeed a true one, then we can all resume the attacking.

    WOW! JUST AS I PREDICTED!!!
    Guest
    WOW! JUST AS I PREDICTED!!!

    TO ALL THOSE LADIES OFFENDED BY BEING SEEN AS WOMEN WILLING TO VIOLATE HALACHA WILLING TO REVEAL MORE OF YOUR BODY THAN THE TORAH ALLOWS!! DRESSED IN A WAY WHICH ATTRACTS THE ATTENTION OF MEN ON THE STREET!!! (DONT BE IN DENIAL!!) YOUR OWN BEING SOOOOO DEFENSIVE, TRYING TO BLAME VIOLATING D’ORAISA ON MODERN!! MODERNITY = IS NO LICENCE TO DEGRADE YOURSELF YOUR BODY YOUR HUSBAND THE REBBE’S KAVOD! THE NAME – DIGNITY OF CH AND CHABAD THESE ARE TRULY UNHAPPILY MARRIED, UNSATASFIED BY THEIR HUSBANDS TLC DEEPLY BLINDED BY A DISEASE CALLED (PEER PREASURE AND) MALE-ATTENTION-ISSUES OR LOW SELF… Read more »

    32=RIGHT
    Guest
    32=RIGHT

    #32 ON THE $

    BUT SOOO PAINFUL TO ADMIT!!

    ITS SOO OBVIOUS

    YET I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY ONE WHO SAW IT SOO CLEARLY!!

    COLLIVE = good content
    Guest
    COLLIVE = good content

    to 49

    Only someone really deffensive must be posting 49
    or maybe you are from a competing site?! the competition!!
    whats IS your point anyways??

    THINK
    Guest
    THINK

    50 = SMART

    ALSO:
    ARE WE IN LUBAVITCH OR IN FLATBUSH?

    WE DO NOT DO THINGS B/C AFRAID OF PUNISHMENT!!!

    POWERFUL BUT DECIEVING MESSAGE!

    COL: I WOULD LIKE SOME PROOF THAT THIS HAPPENED? MAYBE SOMEONE TALENTED WROTE IT?

    TO #32:
    “MONKY” = MONKEY!!!

    TO ALL THE PPL WHO ARE POINTING FINGERS ABOUT TZNIUS…
    WHAT’S YOUR TZNIUS LIKE?

    OH, THE IRONY.

    SECURE PPL DON’T POINT FINGERS SO THINK THINK THINK THINK THINK THINK THINK

    B4

    YOU POINT

    45 is right
    Guest
    45 is right

    #45 is right on

    32 is unfortunately 100%
    Guest
    32 is unfortunately 100%

    u cant deny the facts!!

    the truth hurts!!

    #23 said it best!
    Guest
    #23 said it best!

    people who dress like desperate cheap… (you know whats) are advertising to the world the obvious fact that they arent HAPPY, a happy person dosent have the need to seek attention from anyone other than her own husband!! these are sad, desperate, unfulfilled, lonely, love-starved! souls desperate for the shallowest DEGRADING attention DIRECTLY B/C the are soo LONELY, UNFULFILLED! and PEERPREASURED! A MATURE ADULT WHO IS TRULY HAPPY IN LIFE WILL NOT HAVE THE NEED TO LOWER HER DIGNITY OR CAVE TO PEERPREASURE OR…. TO DERIVE PLEASURE FROM TREATING YOUSELF LIKE A PEACE OF MEAT, NOTHING MORE THAN AN OBJECT!… Read more »

    NOT A C.H.er
    Guest
    NOT A C.H.er

    as an outsider to your community
    i can echo the sentiment of soo many of my frum friends

    who visit C.H!
    they are embaressed for these young wives who
    KNOW NOT the destinction between STYLE, CLASSY, and SLUTTY!

    i admit to being on the trendy side my self
    yet as a beis yaakov grad, i manage to dress stylish w/o degrading my self or thumbing my nose at halacha (g-d’s will)

    CH ladies have a lot to learn from their self-respecting counterparts around the world, engaged in Uforatzto.

    What Have You Walked Away With?
    Guest
    What Have You Walked Away With?

    Dear Friends, So many comments, so much criticism, I shudder to write. Revital shared her story and wants each one of us to stop & think before we go out the door. No one but Hashem is able to determine whether a sickness or death chasvishalom is the cause of something someone did or didn’t do in life. Revital points to her flaws, her regrets in life, she asks us to do things differenly then she did. I bet she would love to start life over again now that she knows her lifes destiny (although all that can change in… Read more »

    to 57
    Guest
    to 57

    your coments are not applicable to all c.h. women
    but sadly true of a percentage
    this is a troubled new generation many w deep resentment issues
    its not about g-d’s will, its about low-self esteem!!

    h
    Guest
    h

    sometimes someone has to get some punishment in this world so in the world to come they wont have a second before going to gan eden.
    like the holtzbergs HY”D finished their work in this world at these young ages, just like revital, and hashem sent them WHAT LOOKS TO US LIKE punishment. really its all for the best and soon moshiach will come so we will see the real reason for all these tragedies

    Also on Chazak
    Guest
    Also on Chazak

    This letter was read on chazak as one of their people with challenges stories (#50 – 1-718-258-2008). I think it is very sad that she went through such a challenging nisayon – but it was her wish to publicize it, and she saw what happened to her, in her eyes, it was a direct result of her action – in tribute to her you have to accept that she is telling the story the way she felt it, and if she can inspire anyone to improve their frumkeit, it will be a merit for her in the olam ha’emes, and… Read more »

    Modern in lubavitch?
    Guest
    Modern in lubavitch?

    there was a title to “a group” or not a group, but certain ppl, that they r modern lubavitch. well this doesnt seem to make sense, modern=more meikel in certain halachois, and lubavitch means, bifnim meshuras hadin. how do these two connect? what do you mean modern ppl in lubavitch? modern=is not lubavitch. it never was lubavitch. throughout all the decades, lubavitchers were the ones to have most Mesiras Nefesh for the tiniest aspects of Hallachah. now theres this title modern lubavitch? if your really lubavitch, not just call yourself that , then you cannot possibly b modern…. well i… Read more »

    SO SAD!!
    Guest
    SO SAD!!
    Verey important
    Guest
    Verey important

    I do not want to give a lecture like other people but you should not be making fun or abusing this article it was a that was punished and asked you to do something not even so big you do not need to make fun of it if you do not want to listen you do not need to give your rued comment

    sorry this is a little long

    wow!!
    Guest
    wow!!

    moving! and depressing!!

    what really happened to her?

    Modern
    Guest
    Modern

    Tznius is going to be the style when Moshiach comes! so if you want to be modern, futuristic, and stylish, be tzniusdik!

    this is modern in lubavitch:
    Guest
    this is modern in lubavitch:

    i agree with you #66 🙂

    X