By Yudi Altein
I have known Shua Polonsky for quite some time. We are neighbors–I live on Lefferts Ave., right around the corner–and we daven in the same Shul (Empire Shtiebel).
We would often exchange greetings–Shua was the kind of guy you looked forward saying hello to, because you knew you would get a sincere reply accompanied by a pleasant smile–and once in a while it would turn into a conversation. Among other things, he shared with me the thesis he was working on for his degree, exploring how social media can affect the husband-wife relationship.
When Shua was interning, his schedule didn’t allow for that much interaction, but when that was finally complete, he approached me and asked if I’d like to set up a weekly chavrusa. Truth be told, I was hesitant at first. I’ve had many tries at learning b’chvrusa, and more often than not, they were not the most pleasurable experience, mostly because we wouldn’t be on the same page when it came to our way of learning. But I had recently spoken to my mashpia, and he had strongly encouraged increasing my learning schedule, so I agreed.
What I got was a pleasant surprise. Shua was the perfect chavrusa; both in attitude–as always, he was just a pleasure to be around–as well as in learning. He was a great person to throw ideas at and discuss things together. It took a lot of self-control for both of us not to get sidetracked by other meaningful discussions, instead of continuing with the sichah…
(At one point we were talking about how Chassidus is all about combining opposites, and he said that this was one of the main ideas of what he was studying about in psychology. He proceeded to explain a little, promising to go into it at greater length at some point in the future. Unfortunately, it never materialized.)
We settled on learning Hebrew sichos, on Tuesdays from 8:30 to 9:00. Our chavrusa experience lasted for a mere four sessions. During the two weeks before Rosh Hashanah, we learnt a Rosh Hashanah sichah focusing on the shofar blowing (printed in Likkutei Sichos vol. 34, pp. 180ff.)
The end of the sichah discusses two meshalim for tekias shofar, and Shua said he was planning on sharing that at his Rosh Hashanah table. As he told me later, he did indeed do so, at a meal with many guests from all types of backgrounds that lasted until the wee hours of the morning.
After Rosh Hashanah, looking ahead, we decided to learn a sichah for Simchas Torah. The sichah we started (ibid., pp. 217ff.) focuses on the fact that Rashi, in his final commentary on the Torah, explains that the final and greatest praise the Torah gives for Moshe Rabbeinu, referred to in the last words of the entire Chumash–לעיני כל ישראל–refers to the fact that Moshe broke the luchos in front of the entire Jewish nation. Why, asks the Rebbe, does the Torah end off with something that seems so negative? And how is this Moshe Rabbeinu’s greatest praise?
Based on an earlier Rashi, the Rebbe explains that Moshe Rabbeinu’s motive when breaking the luchos was actually to save the Bnei Yisroel from destruction. The luchos were like a marriage contract, testifying to the bond between Hashem and Klal Yisroel. If the contract would be broken, there would be no “proof” to this bond, and the Jews would not be held liable for sinning with the chet ha’egel.
This explains Rashi’s terminology that Moshe was inspired–or, to use Rashi’s wording, his heart elevated him–to break the luchos. To commit such an act, Moshe needed to amplify his feeling of love to Bnei Yisroel, and have it override his great love for the Torah. If there was anyone who appreciated the Torah, it was surely Moshe. Yet, to save the sinners among Bnei Yisroel, who sinned with the Golden Calf, Moshe was willing to break the luchos, because his love to his flock was unsurpassed.
This is why–and this is the last part of the sichah Shua and I learned together, on the Tuesday right before Sukkos–the possuk emphasizes that Moshe broke the luchos in front of the Jewish nation. With this, Moshe was imparting a lesson to us all, demonstrating how great our love to each of our fellow Jews should be.
We learned this sichah for two weeks, and although our next planned learning session was for the Tuesday after Simchas Torah, we decided we would continue learning it then anyways. On Monday night after Simchas Torah, Shua sent me a text that he wasn’t feeling well and would probably not make it, but I didn’t open it until the next morning, when I was already sitting in shul waiting for him to come. “Oh well, I guess we’ll finish next week,” I thought, and opened up a different sefer.
I’ve thought a lot about this sichah during the past few weeks, and I’ve discussed it with Shua’s father-in-law and brothers-in-law, when we learnt the sichah together the two Shabbosim after shiva. The topic of breaking the luchos is far from coincidental: the Gemara compares the death of a tzaddik to the breaking of the luchos!
Moreover, a significant part of the sichah focuses on Moshe’s heart (how Moshe was inspired to break the luchos). נשאו לבו, his heart was elevated…
And who was the one standing at Moshe’s side when he broke the luchos? Yehoshua. So if the reason Moshe broke the luchos in front of the Bnei Yisroel was to impart the message of Ahavas Yisroel, the first one to see it and internalize that message was undoubtedly Yehoshua. And Shua certainly did personify loving our fellow as ourselves, in the spirit of Yehoshua and Moshe Rabbeinu.
And by the way (or maybe not that “by the way”), what immediately follows the last possuk of the Torah, and the words לעיני כל ישראל? None other than Sefer Yehoshua…
Not only that, Rashi says that according to one opinion, Yehoshua is the one who wrote the last eight pessukim of the Torah, including this one.
May I suggest that all those who wish to do something l’iluy nishmas Yehoshua Refoel Halevi ben Hershel Leib study this sichah (download here), and then internalize its message and make it part of their life. And in the merit of our Ahavas Yisroel, may we destroy whatever is left of golus and merit to reunite with our loved ones (and chavrusas), teikef umiyad mamosh.
Thank you so much for sharing this. So touched. And so nice to hear more about Shua. I’ve never met him, but feel so empowered by all the special things that have been shared so far. May his family and all of be reunited with our loved ones, with no need to be comforted. No one wants to be comforted, we want our loved ones back.
You didn’t point out shua=yehoshua
This is so meaningful to me, thank you. I’m sorry for your loss, Simi. Moshiach NOW!!!
Truly inspiring
Very inspiring, thank you for sharing.
This is very meaningful, thank you for writing and sharing it.
Downloading now
What a meaningful, touching article. No words
how meaningful!!
Is there a way we can read Shua’s thesis with us?
Yasher koach for sharing.
Moshiach NOW!!
Yasher koach for sharing.
Moshiach NOW!!
Wow what a meaningful way to remember someone
This really opens my eyes to appreciate the things we have and not take them for granted. The impact of doing something small can have on another person.
– I swear; I’m not crying.