By Rabbi Shais Taub
I never set out to be an authority on parenting. Quite frankly, I still don’t feel like an authority. There is always so much more to learn. But the reality is that now, nearly 5 years after our first group of parents began our beta testing of the parenting course, I have merited to take over 2,000 mothers and fathers through a parenting journey that many of them say has transformed their homes.
As a new cohort of the course is set to begin next week, I reflect on the recent passing of my father, Dr. Gershom Taub, of blessed memory, who passed away at the age of 90 on 16 Kislev. I knew it before his passing, but somehow now it is even clearer to me, how much my father taught me by example about how to parent.
In our parenting course, we encourage parents to be truly selfless toward their children. I realize now that the only way I am able to even aspire to that goal, and encourage others to aspire to it as well, is because that is what I saw by my father.
My father’s approach to his children was never about what he could get from us—it was always about what he could give. Even in his advanced age, his attitude toward us was selfless. Only as I grew up did I begin to realize how special this was.
How can I explain this?
My father was very proud of all of us. He had tremendous nachas from his kids. But he did not see us as his means to gaining nachas. At least, it never felt that way to me. He was always just looking for a way he could be helpful to us. Sometimes he would offer us advice. Sometimes he would lend support in super practical ways. No job was too small or mundane for him when it came to his kids. As I look back, I now remember him driving us around a lot. He would take us wherever we needed to go. Sometimes we would have deep conversations on the drive. Sometimes we would just sit in silence. But there is something about having a father there with you that instills so much stability in a person, even if you both just sit there in silence.
Even when I grew up and started my own family, he was there for me. On one of my last visits to him before his passing I asked him if he remembered a time when I was newly married and was teaching teenagers and was having a really difficult time. He knew I was struggling and so he flew out to me just to be with me. I don’t remember anything he told me on that visit, but I remember he showed up. And I remember how soothing it was in my time of crisis to have my father just be there for me. I asked him if he remembered and he nodded nonchalantly as if to say, “It was no big deal.” But the truth is, it was a big deal. And it stuck with me.
As a new group of mothers and fathers is set to begin the parenting course with me next week, I am curious to see how much more I will come to appreciate that what I am giving these parents is in large part what my father gave to me. I have a feeling that I will have a whole new experience of teaching the course this time. If you haven’t taken my course yet and you think you may benefit from an intensely spiritual deep dive into what it means to be a parent, please take a look at the course syllabus and consider if this course is for you.
I am looking forward to seeing you there and to all of us becoming better parents for our children.
The upcoming Soul Parenting course starts next week:
Men’s Track: Tuesdays, Jan 7 – Feb 11, 2025, 8:30 PM – 10:00 PM ET
Women’s Track: Wednesdays, Jan 8 – Feb 12, 2025, 8:30 PM – 10:00 PM ET
For course syllabus and for registration visit SoulWords.org/parenting
