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Monday, 11 Av, 5782
  |  August 8, 2022

Please Welcome Back the Shluchim To…

From the COLlive inbox: "It isn't an anomaly anymore to see a family who was on Shlichus join a Lubavitch community as regular members. This drastic change in their lives is painful. Here's how to support them." Full Story

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We can all learn from this!!
June 10, 2022 12:54 am

What a time- sensitive, caring, thoughtful article.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts!

From a Shliach
June 10, 2022 1:06 am

Another thing to help with is finding a Job / education. Many Shluchim have only known positions of leadership. Helping guide them to find a new position that is respectable would go a long way too.

Former Shliach
June 10, 2022 2:03 am

I was forced to leave Shlichus after 5 years of hard work. No, it was not a fight with the head shliach or anything like that… It was a medical issue that couldn’t be handled in my place of shlichus. This article’s points are all spot on plus much more that wasn’t mentioned… Now, ten years after I left I am still struggling both emotionally and practically. In the beginning I was constantly belittled for leaving shlichis by people who never went to begin with. Perhaps because I refused to share the reason? I felt it was none of anyones… Read more »

Interesting
June 10, 2022 2:28 am

Having been in this situation, I don’t know why you would assume everyone is in pain. We made a difficult decision to start a new chapter. It was a simcha for us.
The things you mention are nice to do for anyone moving to a new community.
It also doesn’t help with the core issue of the difficult and perhaps painful decision to leave shlichus. Random strangers can’t really help with that.

Another point
Reply to  Interesting
June 10, 2022 10:06 am

100%

For many, ourselves included it’s a huge relief.

It’s actually a bigger pity on the ones who like us should have left but are still there……

Pity is weird
Reply to  Interesting
June 10, 2022 11:11 am

It’s weird when you go through something
And people assume you’re in pain
And even if you are in pain, it’s weird when people write articles about how to help you
I know people mean well, but there’s a fine line between empathy & trying to help … and pity
I’ve commented about this on other articles

Lucky you
Reply to  Pity is weird
June 10, 2022 2:41 pm

Pity is not pleasant to receive, granted. But if I had to choose which way the scales should tip, I’d take pity over indifference any day. They will see that their pity is unwarranted as soon as you are back on your feet. And *no one* will express any pity in the first place if they see you firmly on your feet to begin with.
The indifference on the other hand..

So true
June 10, 2022 3:35 am

Being forced to leave one’s place of Shlichus is a loss to grieve. It’s the death of a dream, one I personally mourn even decades later

Excellent article
June 10, 2022 5:34 am

Very good article. Many who come back from Shluchim are also not trained for a job other than shlichus and need support in this regard – going to (trade) school, apprenticeship and/or seed money to start a business.

Lets do this to find these people in CH to help?
June 10, 2022 8:09 am

If I’m not nosy yet want to help where can I find out who so I can assist? Many people in CH where I live go about their lives and are NOT nosy in in everyone’s business. I get it though, this is sensitive. Let’s help these people with jobs, feeling welcome etc.

Love this article
June 10, 2022 8:27 am

You expressed it wonderfully! On a side note: why do we have to teach the basic manners and decency amongst our own brethren in chabad? It’s such a obvious thing and yet to even write this article is so disappointing. Examples: a yellow yid who needs a job, suggest.
A shidduch, suggest.
Recommendation or reference for school or camp, offer.
Shliach, help out etc….
Why does it even have to be said? Are we chassidim or what? Are we thinking too much about ourselves that we cant afford to think about our own brethren because it’s not “our problem”?!

Huh
June 10, 2022 8:57 am

Doesn’t this apply for anyone moving to a new city?

Ikr
Reply to  Huh
June 10, 2022 10:43 am

Even more so, if a shliach has issues etc etc like says here, imagine someone that is not a shliach (officially, right?) That people dont know them etc etc, how much more so need more help etc

Despite Having left shlichus..
Reply to  Ikr
June 10, 2022 3:46 pm

I Agree totally that this is for everyone moving!!!
Can be even harder reasons..
Let’s just be kind to everyone!!

Support Groups - Therapy
June 10, 2022 9:31 am

As a shliach who went through the trauma of a shattered life dream of shlichus and needed to relocate and start afresh, I wish there was a support group for this ever-growing reality. Ideally, Merkos could provide a therapist who specializes in this area – perhaps someone who himself was once a shliach and understands what we are going through.

Much needed
Reply to  Support Groups - Therapy
June 10, 2022 10:04 am

I think there is some one in florida who helps former shluchim with this

Can you give a name please?
Reply to  Much needed
June 10, 2022 9:56 pm

Support is vitally important!

Formerly on Shlichus
June 10, 2022 9:45 am

This resonates with me. I was on shlichus and my spouse left frumkeit. We divorced. It was a super difficult time. While I had tremendous support to continue on shlichus from my regional head shluchim, I felt a lot of pressure from Merkos in NY to step down. Finally due to various factors I did step down, got remarried, and immediately got a job in chinuch, b”H. But when the school I was working for closed, I was jobless for a few years. It was super difficult. The Aibeshter came through in the most miraculous of ways, b”H.

Let's get to work
June 10, 2022 9:59 am

I read your article and couldn’t believe it.

Let’s get something going.

For those in crown heights, email [email protected]

Another point
June 10, 2022 10:04 am

When your older kids didn’t go to school in ch, you need to learn the ropes from scratch when it comes to putting your younger children through the local chinuch.

As older parents, we count on leveraging our experience with our older kids to our advantage. It’s challenging to start everything from scratch; doctors, dentists, preschools, schools etc.

Other side of the coin
June 10, 2022 11:57 am

This comment is not meant for everyone as it is BH not an issue across the board. There are sometimes shluchim who unfortunately (and contrary to everything they are supposed to believe in as shluchim of the Rebbe) feel that they are better than those who did not go out on official shlichus. Without taking away the unbelievable work of shluchim, this type of outlook is both not the way a shliach should think and also does not take into account the tremendous shlichus that many do in their own lives even if not on official shluchus, through business, work,… Read more »

Best comment
Reply to  Other side of the coin
June 10, 2022 12:31 pm

We never know what will happen in our lives. what goes around comes around so they shouldn’t go on their high horse today, for they dont know what tomorrow will bring.

I used to think this way...
Reply to  Other side of the coin
June 10, 2022 12:53 pm

But as I get older I realize this is not the case. Not all shluchim are super successful with huge buildings etc and many just struggle quietly to get through their day or week. I know many shluchim who aren’t arrogant at all and live quiet humble lives.

Everyone is a shliach
June 10, 2022 12:08 pm

OK some are card carrying and others aren’t, that doesnt mean much. But if I can help let me know. 7069623222

Pity Party?
June 10, 2022 2:11 pm

This article is framed as a pity party. We loved Shluchus and also loving our next chapter. Why is Shlichus forever… sometimes it’s for the good of the mission to have fresh blood, young energy. Why put such pressure on ourselves… mission over the man.

Eitan
Reply to  Pity Party?
June 10, 2022 6:07 pm

Great point! You can celebrate your years of service and still move on to another opportunity geographically, professionally and personally.

mendel Gams
June 12, 2022 9:53 am

I know shluchim who received a grant from yadlshliach.com

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