By Vertical Jew
My wife and I have always desired to have everything ready for Shabbos before candle lighting time.
The serenity and peace of mind that comes with having all your work finished and standing ready to greet the majestic Shabbos queen is an experience that is indescribable.
The anticipation that a Jew should have for Shabbos should be comparable to the anticipation that a person has for a beloved spouse that has been away for the entire week.
The mere mention of Shabbos should fill us with such excitement that we should have to refrain ourselves from bringing in Shabbos too early.
However, even though the above is an ideal, it has rarely or if ever come to implementation for us. There are many distractions that can interfere with our Shabbos preparations.
On a short winter day, just getting back from work before candle lighting is a struggle. A person in these situations can easily, G-D forbid, have negative reservations regarding preparing for the Shabbos.
This is unfortunately how our Erev Shabbos has been for quite some time. With my wife and I working and studying full time, Erev Shabbos became a particularly stressful. Things got exceedingly more difficult after we had our first baby. Before we were able to split up the jobs. Now, just taking care of the baby is a full job!
With all of this and more, it became a frequent occurrence that my wife would end up lighting the Shabbos candles during the 18 minute period [note: one is required to light Shabbos candles before sundown. The common custom in many communities outside of Israel, is to have the candles lit 18 minutes before sundown].
Recently, we decided that enough was enough.
We were finally going to make a resolution to bring in Shabbos on time. The following is the advice we received regarding this matter which has helped us immensely and we hope it will have the same affect on you.
Here is the tip: Start your Shabbos preparations on Wednesday.
This concept is founded in Hayom Yom (excerpts from letters of the sixth Lubavitcher Rebbe) for the 23rd of Kislev. “The preparations for Shabbos begin on Wednesday, and are heralded by the brief Lechu Neranenah, the three verses [recited at the end of Wednesday’s Song of the Day].” If a person starts his Shabbos preparations on Wednesday, then Erev Shabbos wouldn’t be so pressured and they would be in the right frame of mind to receive the gift of Shabbos.
So, my wife and I took this advice to heart and made an action plan.
On Wednesday, we would
a) make a menu of all the things we would be cooking for Shabbos.
b) make a list of jobs that needed to be done before bringing in Shabbos.
c) Thursday morning, we would buy all the food that needed to be made for the meals.
d) Thursday night would designated for cooking, cleaning etc.
e) Friday would be designated to finish off the last preparations.
Ever since we started this routine two weeks ago, our Shabbos preparations have never much smoother. I encourage all those who are reading this article to try out this routine for themselves to enjoy a more peaceful and blessed Shabbos.
The Medrash (Shemos Rabbah 25:12) says that if the Jewish people will keep one Shabbos properly, Moshiach will immediately come.” May it be the will of Hashem, that through the keeping of Shabbos with the right enthusiasm, we will merit the coming of Moshiach speedily in our days.
Yasher Koach to you for sharing the Shabbos preparations with your wife! This in itself brings peace & tranquility to Shabbos. Beautiful!
I live my whole week preparing for shabbos. I don’t even put away the shabbos candles or the cholent pot – it stays ready from week to week. I live with shabbos all the time. Each day I remember shabbos and make one effort to prepare for it.
Inspiring how you’re a team to do the rifght thing.
I will definitely take your and the commentators words to heart and try to finish Thursday night or latest be ready by chatzos, when the kids arrive from school.
so tired of the complainers, what a breath of fresh air.
Will take the article to heart and improve my Fridays.
thank you!
It was a pleasure reading an editorial that wasn’t a compliant. I thought it was only me who always felt rushed on erev shabbos regardless of when it started.. I will take these tips to heart!
we cook everything for shabbos the only thing we do on friday is a fresh salad and the rest is HER story thanks to my wife !!!!!!!!!
Thanks for sharing what made this work well for you. Side note: Since stress is a killer, and being able to absorb to things with a positive is healthy, it might be a good idea to plan ahead all days. And, more importantly, whatever happens – gam zu latova, so however the day unfolds, it’s up to you to get stressed over it or chill with the flow. You can make salads after shabbos starts. you can keep your house and table cleaan all week. Although shabbos has it special attention, no need to save up all cleanliness and organization… Read more »
I love cooking and used to make very complicated and unique dishes but after the kids came along and work I just couldn’t manage. I tried cooking earlier in the week, but that stressed me out too, since everyday I added an extra thing to do at night rather than to relax. After visiting a friend for Shabbos she had the most simplest meals, one salad no dips, main dish and a side all in one course. What I noticed most she was relaxed, there was no yelling and the kids were HAPPY! I started doing really simple meals and… Read more »
It’s about shalom bayis. Sometimes we do more then we calmly can,even lkovod Shabbos and the effect is the opposite of the menucha and shalom of Shabbos.
Hashem should help you continue to grow in your Shalom Bayis and your beautification of Shabbos.
When you cook days early, or cook and freeze months in advance, you end up eating old food on Shabbos and better, fresher food during the week. How does that make sense?
Two things I found very helpful-Make much simpler meals. It’s not an actual minhag to have ten salads and shmears,several side dishes etc. For the Friday night main course I usually serve brown rice with the chicken. It’s healthier,easier and everyone is happy.
Secondly,years ago I made a hachloto to light ten minutes early. Not lighting during the 18 minutes automatically makes things calmer and brings bracha.
When children were younger – shopped and did major house cleaning on Tues, baked on Wed, cooked on Thurs, made salads and took children out on Fridays when they would get out of school earlier than the week Now – do cooking Thursday nights or sometimes on Tues and freeze it Set table Thurs night and husband sets up candles then Have started davening mincha earlier on Friday and not waiting till right before candle lighting Turning off or unplugging phones 15 minutes before candle lighting so there are no last minute calls Having in mind if anything not done… Read more »
I used to leave to shul only after candlelighting and arrive with not much time before sunset. Wanting to daven mincha before sunset I would always get very stressed out trying to say all the preparations for mincha before the minyan and be ready for mincha in time to daven together with the minyan. A number of years ago I made a decision to say Hodu, etc. much earlier in the day so I am ready to start as soon as I walk into shul. Also during the summer I try to daven mincha with an earlier minyan. I remember… Read more »
I believe it was Rabbi Heller who would sit with his late wife 10 minutes before candle lighting time and have tea with her. After relaxing 10 minutes over tea she would light candles .How wonderful!
part of the reason you are in a rush and cant catch up was because you were “studying”.
when you are done with the “studying” will that new job make your life easier and give you more time for your family and preparations for shabbos? or just give you a few more dollars and less time for family and preparing for Shabbos?
To the person who wrote this article, thank you very much. Wednesday is the day I start pulling things out of the freezer. I would also like to add the following.
Shabbos was meant to be enjoyed & not cumbersome. Therefore, if something happens during the week that’s troubling you then you should cast it aside & not worry about it until after Shabbos is over. With that said, maybe all merit, as we say in benching, Yom Shekula Shabbos umenucha ulechayay ha’olamim!!
Been there, done that.. But now that we usually only cook for 2, prefer to cook one item each week, preferably on Sunday, large quantities, and freeze in small quantities, so come Friday, whether coming home late from work, or when children and grandchildren call to say Good Shabbos and we spend time talking, or even last minute doctor’s appointments, we take a bit of everything from the freezer, and just make a fresh salad. Anything extra only if there’s time. But coming into Shabbos more calm & relaxed.
and on a long summer shabbos you have to entertain them without videos. That’s when Shabbos gets really hard.
My wife is already lighting regularly just at the 18 minutes, lighting during the 18 minutes is considered early.
“This concept is founded in Hayom Yom”?
True it’s there, , but there are sources in Gemoro, Halocha and Kabola for this as well.
Nice article, I just would like to suggest that when writing an article you should do a little research.
This has been on my mind to work on, and now I’ve made a hachlata to really come into Shabbos calmly!
Don’t quote me on this, because I have no source, but I read in the name of the Rambam that he thought there should have been an 11th commandment in the Aseres Hadibros: to take a nap on Erev Shabbos…
thanks for sharing we MUST TRY HARD NOT TO LEAVE THINGS TO THE LAST MINUT MAY WE BE ZOCHO WHAT WE SHOULD RECIEVE FOR KEEPING SHABBOS NOW MAMOSH AND THISHA BEOV WIL BE AYOM TOV
I have shared this concept many times since last year. Our family did a road trip for 10 days and went to a friend for Shabbos. On Thursday night her dining room table was set, and on Friday morning at 9 oclock she was off to get her weekly R&R. Despite being a principal in a large school she manages to make Shabbos together with her husband and kids on Thursday night. Imagine Friday a few hours before Shabbos we went out for a drive to do some cool thrift store shopping! I came home and resolved to do the… Read more »
That the yetzer horo creates machlokes between husband & wife on Friday to ruin the preparations for shabbos, it is very hard to be calm etc during cooking & to enter shabbos on time without any arguments, but if a Friday passes without friction it is a different shabbos
Yasher Koach to you for sharing the Shabbos preparations with your wife! This in itself brings peace & tranquility to Shabbos. Beautiful!
This is a practical note on service of Hashem…. what I believe is a farbrengen.. sharing an issue I have and offering a solution. Yashar koach and may the merits of keeping shabbos keep you and yours in success B’g’ur
can you contact me please?
[email protected]
thank you
Helpful advice, thanks.
Thank you for this article!
I understand where you come from. having to always rush into shabbos because of work. i would much rather bring in shabbos in a peaceful restful manner.
Thanks for bringing to light the hayom on starting to prepare for shabbos mid week..so the whole week is about shabbos
Yasher koach and good luck!
Thanks for sharing the advise, despite it not being original, as you yourself mentioned, the Rebbe suggested that in 1943. Hayom Yom is not only a spiritual guide, but rather an extreme practical one. My main thoughts here: beside for alleviating last minute rush, many times forgetting somethings to do etc. it is a very good way to enter Shabbos in a calm tranquil state of mind, how many of us light the Shabbos candles and Crash Out from exhaustion… being woken up by your husbands as he comes back from Shul, or many of us doze on the table… Read more »
Is it true that in order to honor the holy Shabbos, we refrain from preparing the food until Erev Shabbos (defined as Thursday night, after sundown)? Is it also halachally preferable to finish these preparations close to candle lighting time, according to
Chabad custom for the same reason (honoring tbe holy Shabbos)?
Much Hatzlacha to bring in Shabbos with joy and great peace on time.
Yes chassidim should encourage each other in Torah and mitzvos!