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Friday, 6 Sivan, 5780
  |  May 29, 2020

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Our Solution to Shabbos Problem

From the COLlive inbox: "With my wife and I working and studying full time, Erev Shabbos became particularly stressful." Full Story

Mrs. Aidel Frankel OBM

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Thank you for sharing!
Guest
Thank you for sharing!

Yes chassidim should encourage each other in Torah and mitzvos!

BH    We Always Say Baruch Hash-m.
Guest
BH We Always Say Baruch Hash-m.

Is it true that in order to honor the holy Shabbos, we refrain from preparing the food until Erev Shabbos (defined as Thursday night, after sundown)? Is it also halachally preferable to finish these preparations close to candle lighting time, according to
Chabad custom for the same reason (honoring tbe holy Shabbos)?

Much Hatzlacha to bring in Shabbos with joy and great peace on time.

ch.er
Guest
ch.er

Thanks for sharing the advise, despite it not being original, as you yourself mentioned, the Rebbe suggested that in 1943. Hayom Yom is not only a spiritual guide, but rather an extreme practical one. My main thoughts here: beside for alleviating last minute rush, many times forgetting somethings to do etc. it is a very good way to enter Shabbos in a calm tranquil state of mind, how many of us light the Shabbos candles and Crash Out from exhaustion… being woken up by your husbands as he comes back from Shul, or many of us doze on the table… Read more »

Nice idea
Guest
Nice idea

Thank you for this article!
I understand where you come from. having to always rush into shabbos because of work. i would much rather bring in shabbos in a peaceful restful manner.
Thanks for bringing to light the hayom on starting to prepare for shabbos mid week..so the whole week is about shabbos
Yasher koach and good luck!

Shabbos
Guest
Shabbos

Helpful advice, thanks.

love the story
Guest
love the story

can you contact me please?
[email protected]
thank you

Farbrengen
Guest
Farbrengen

This is a practical note on service of Hashem…. what I believe is a farbrengen.. sharing an issue I have and offering a solution. Yashar koach and may the merits of keeping shabbos keep you and yours in success B’g’ur

Crownheightser
Guest
Crownheightser

Yasher Koach to you for sharing the Shabbos preparations with your wife! This in itself brings peace & tranquility to Shabbos. Beautiful!

It says in the holy books
Guest
It says in the holy books

That the yetzer horo creates machlokes between husband & wife on Friday to ruin the preparations for shabbos, it is very hard to be calm etc during cooking & to enter shabbos on time without any arguments, but if a Friday passes without friction it is a different shabbos

I could not agree with you more
Guest
I could not agree with you more

I have shared this concept many times since last year. Our family did a road trip for 10 days and went to a friend for Shabbos. On Thursday night her dining room table was set, and on Friday morning at 9 oclock she was off to get her weekly R&R. Despite being a principal in a large school she manages to make Shabbos together with her husband and kids on Thursday night. Imagine Friday a few hours before Shabbos we went out for a drive to do some cool thrift store shopping! I came home and resolved to do the… Read more »

OVER SEAS
Guest
OVER SEAS

thanks for sharing we MUST TRY HARD NOT TO LEAVE THINGS TO THE LAST MINUT MAY WE BE ZOCHO WHAT WE SHOULD RECIEVE FOR KEEPING SHABBOS NOW MAMOSH AND THISHA BEOV WIL BE AYOM TOV

Yasher Koach!
Guest
Yasher Koach!

This has been on my mind to work on, and now I’ve made a hachlata to really come into Shabbos calmly!
Don’t quote me on this, because I have no source, but I read in the name of the Rambam that he thought there should have been an 11th commandment in the Aseres Hadibros: to take a nap on Erev Shabbos…

This concept is founded in Hayom Yom?
Guest
This concept is founded in Hayom Yom?

“This concept is founded in Hayom Yom”?
True it’s there, , but there are sources in Gemoro, Halocha and Kabola for this as well.
Nice article, I just would like to suggest that when writing an article you should do a little research.

wait till you have 7 kid
Guest
wait till you have 7 kid

and on a long summer shabbos you have to entertain them without videos. That’s when Shabbos gets really hard.

My wife is already lighting regularly just at the 18 minutes, lighting during the 18 minutes is considered early.

CH Bubby
Guest
CH Bubby

Been there, done that.. But now that we usually only cook for 2, prefer to cook one item each week, preferably on Sunday, large quantities, and freeze in small quantities, so come Friday, whether coming home late from work, or when children and grandchildren call to say Good Shabbos and we spend time talking, or even last minute doctor’s appointments, we take a bit of everything from the freezer, and just make a fresh salad. Anything extra only if there’s time. But coming into Shabbos more calm & relaxed.

Great advice
Guest
Great advice

To the person who wrote this article, thank you very much. Wednesday is the day I start pulling things out of the freezer. I would also like to add the following.

Shabbos was meant to be enjoyed & not cumbersome. Therefore, if something happens during the week that’s troubling you then you should cast it aside & not worry about it until after Shabbos is over. With that said, maybe all merit, as we say in benching, Yom Shekula Shabbos umenucha ulechayay ha’olamim!!

just woundering
Guest
just woundering

part of the reason you are in a rush and cant catch up was because you were “studying”.

when you are done with the “studying” will that new job make your life easier and give you more time for your family and preparations for shabbos? or just give you a few more dollars and less time for family and preparing for Shabbos?

Tea Time
Guest
Tea Time

I believe it was Rabbi Heller who would sit with his late wife 10 minutes before candle lighting time and have tea with her. After relaxing 10 minutes over tea she would light candles .How wonderful!

Erev Shabbos Mincha
Guest
Erev Shabbos Mincha

I used to leave to shul only after candlelighting and arrive with not much time before sunset. Wanting to daven mincha before sunset I would always get very stressed out trying to say all the preparations for mincha before the minyan and be ready for mincha in time to daven together with the minyan. A number of years ago I made a decision to say Hodu, etc. much earlier in the day so I am ready to start as soon as I walk into shul. Also during the summer I try to daven mincha with an earlier minyan. I remember… Read more »

other ideas
Guest
other ideas

When children were younger – shopped and did major house cleaning on Tues, baked on Wed, cooked on Thurs, made salads and took children out on Fridays when they would get out of school earlier than the week Now – do cooking Thursday nights or sometimes on Tues and freeze it Set table Thurs night and husband sets up candles then Have started davening mincha earlier on Friday and not waiting till right before candle lighting Turning off or unplugging phones 15 minutes before candle lighting so there are no last minute calls Having in mind if anything not done… Read more »

LA Morah
Guest
LA Morah

Two things I found very helpful-Make much simpler meals. It’s not an actual minhag to have ten salads and shmears,several side dishes etc. For the Friday night main course I usually serve brown rice with the chicken. It’s healthier,easier and everyone is happy.
Secondly,years ago I made a hachloto to light ten minutes early. Not lighting during the 18 minutes automatically makes things calmer and brings bracha.

I don't agree
Guest
I don't agree

When you cook days early, or cook and freeze months in advance, you end up eating old food on Shabbos and better, fresher food during the week. How does that make sense?

Inspired
Guest
Inspired

Hashem should help you continue to grow in your Shalom Bayis and your beautification of Shabbos.

to #22
Guest
to #22

It’s about shalom bayis. Sometimes we do more then we calmly can,even lkovod Shabbos and the effect is the opposite of the menucha and shalom of Shabbos.

Go simple
Guest
Go simple

I love cooking and used to make very complicated and unique dishes but after the kids came along and work I just couldn’t manage. I tried cooking earlier in the week, but that stressed me out too, since everyday I added an extra thing to do at night rather than to relax. After visiting a friend for Shabbos she had the most simplest meals, one salad no dips, main dish and a side all in one course. What I noticed most she was relaxed, there was no yelling and the kids were HAPPY! I started doing really simple meals and… Read more »

lovely
Guest
lovely

Thanks for sharing what made this work well for you. Side note: Since stress is a killer, and being able to absorb to things with a positive is healthy, it might be a good idea to plan ahead all days. And, more importantly, whatever happens – gam zu latova, so however the day unfolds, it’s up to you to get stressed over it or chill with the flow. You can make salads after shabbos starts. you can keep your house and table cleaan all week. Although shabbos has it special attention, no need to save up all cleanliness and organization… Read more »

thursday night
Guest
thursday night

we cook everything for shabbos the only thing we do on friday is a fresh salad and the rest is HER story thanks to my wife !!!!!!!!!

Thank you Thank you!
Guest
Thank you Thank you!

It was a pleasure reading an editorial that wasn’t a compliant. I thought it was only me who always felt rushed on erev shabbos regardless of when it started.. I will take these tips to heart!

thank you for this positive editorial
Guest
thank you for this positive editorial

so tired of the complainers, what a breath of fresh air.
Will take the article to heart and improve my Fridays.

thank you!

Beautiful
Guest
Beautiful

Inspiring how you’re a team to do the rifght thing.
I will definitely take your and the commentators words to heart and try to finish Thursday night or latest be ready by chatzos, when the kids arrive from school.

Better: Start preparing from Shabbos to next shabbos
Guest
Better: Start preparing from Shabbos to next shabbos

I live my whole week preparing for shabbos. I don’t even put away the shabbos candles or the cholent pot – it stays ready from week to week. I live with shabbos all the time. Each day I remember shabbos and make one effort to prepare for it.

Crownheightser
Guest
Crownheightser

Yasher Koach to you for sharing the Shabbos preparations with your wife! This in itself brings peace & tranquility to Shabbos. Beautiful!

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