By Dr. Dovid Brownstein
There is something beautiful about the value in the frum community to immerse our sons in intensive Torah study for the first 20 years or more of their lives. We encourage them to dwell in the “tent of Torah” where they learn about every aspect of yiddishkeit, develop extraordinarily sharp minds, and, most importantly, grow to experience a relationship with the Aibershter.
From there we guide them toward the equally beautiful value of marrying and establishing an everlasting Jewish home that is faithful to the principles of Torah and Mitzvos. However, in comparison to the many years invested in Torah study, far less time is allotted to bochurim to prepare for marriage. Despite the enormity of the shift from “bochur” to “husband and father,” relatively few resources are available for shidduch-age bochurim to help them gain the knowledge and skills necessary to meet the challenges of marriage and raising a family in today’s day and age.
There is great need for a program that comprehensively prepares bochurim for success in the varied roles of husband and father. Over the last two years I developed just that: an innovative program called Beyond Breadwinning that offers an intensive 2-day workshop to prepare shidduch-age bochurim with essential knowledge and skills to be the best husbands and fathers they can be.
In addition, follow up one-on-one consultations are included, and plans are in place to offer ongoing resources to participants before marriage and beyond.
The program was developed in consultation with rabbonim, mashpi’im, chosson teachers, shadchanim, and frum psychologists to ensure that it is hashkafically sound and sourced in psychological science. Dating, marriage, and parenting coach, Avrohom Levin was enthusiastic about this program. “The Beyond Breadwinning workshop is an awesome, comprehensive curriculum, and is exactly what’s needed for bochurim entering shidduchim. Many married men have said they wish they had learned these basics before getting married. I encourage all bochurim to join a workshop and learn the important information and skills when they are ready to begin shidduchim,” he said.
Beyond Breadwinning is relevant to all shidduch-age bochurim, but was specifically developed for those in the mainstream. The workshop covers a broad range of topics including relationships essentials, mental health, and married life. Its 2-day format allows participants to have an immersive experience learning, discussing, and developing essential skills that they will find invaluable to their preparation for marriage and for marriage itself.
A lot of ink has been spilled over the problems in the frum community relating to marriage and family life. Indeed, the problems are many, and a variety of solutions are needed. But, truth be told, even those who enjoy the most wonderful marriages will agree that one can never really be too prepared for marriage. Now, Beyond Breadwinning makes a crucial element of marriage preparation accessible to all shidduch-age bochurim.
The next workshop is scheduled for February 23-24 (Shevat 25-26) in Crown Heights and will, G-d willing, be offered regularly in the future.
To learn more or to register for a workshop visit beyondbreadwinning.com.
Hi,
This can be a very good idea, but I would like to know which Rabbanim have endorsed it as being the correct lessons and Hashkafah.
Unfortunately many ideas can be helpful for one person and very destructive for another person.
I would want to know that Daas Torah says that this is for everyone because it is all based on Toras Emes.
Thank you,
As mentioned, this workshop was developed in consultation with rabbonim etc. who have encouraged me to bring this to the public. I’m happy to discuss and share the contents with a Rav whom you respect so you can get guidance that appropriate for you. I can be reached at [email protected].
Dovid Brownstein, PsyD
Which rabbonim have endorsed the course?
Dovid is amazing and what an amazing idea
Finally. What a fabulous idea.
Please clarify what is meant by,
“…but was specifically developed for those in the mainstream”.
The community has become SO diverse and therefore sounds quite limiting.
Please expand on, if relevant, how it would meet the needs of both?
Excellent and well needed class.
Kol hacavod
May I suggest to list the names of the Rabbonim who endorse it.
Being transparent will give the program more credibility.
What does it matter which Rabbonim he used?! Hes doing something great!! Something no one else does. He should have lots of hatzlacha. At least he cares.
My mashpia brought up a very interesting idea – girls spend all of their educational years hearing from men: high schools, seminary, shiurim, etc. But, sadly, boys never get to hear from a woman. Whether it’s right or wrong I’m not saying, just that this is a reality. All shalom bayis courses for men are always by men, and lots and lots of shalom bayis courses for girls are also by men.
Just saying….
For better or worse the boys in our community during their most pivotal growing years lack female role models.
Hearing from male adults now who have struggled they feel the lack of female influence had a negative contribution to marriage issues later in life.
The girls spend so much time in Seminary and even high school on bayis yehudi classes and the bochum get none!! Makes no sense. Boys need to know basics about a Jewish home too..especially since many bochrim leave home at young ages and spend very little time at home during teenage years…
IMHO, boys also need to learn about tznius, hair covering etc. Obviously not jn the same way as the girls but the importance, the Rebbe’s view etc . There is so much more they should come jntk marriage knowing…
Thank you for this initiative!!
Deep in the fine print of the website for this event, it says the workshop meets on two business days, during the daytime.
Son cannot afford to lose two days’ pay (yes: Sunday is a workday for him and for many others).
Any chance it could be held on 3-4 consecutive nights instead?