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  |  December 5, 2020

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My Non-Traditional Shidduch

Shidduchim SOS: "Nothing was working out for me, I couldn't even get a date. I was down in spirit and so I decided I was going to take a break and just see where life takes me." Full Story

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Our responsibility
May 30, 2013 1:28 am

Yashar koach and very belated mazel tov, as I just read this. I would like to add, that when we are mekarev people to Yiddishkeit, our responsibility does not end when we send them off to learn…. We should look for shidduchim for them, and we should be the ones offering to check their references for them! My husband and I have always felt that our mekurovim deserve the same mentshlichkeit in this as do our own children

mazel tov!
February 3, 2012 11:33 am

I like your attitude, and your chayos! Now just imagine to throw into the formula being a older, divorced BT– not so simple, but your advice is still shyich, minus parents’ assistance (but of course, they’re helping from Shamayim) please have this special category of singles in mind under the chupah!

Congratulations to you!!!
January 31, 2012 6:04 pm

Congrats to you on the engagment and on taking action

Your lucky this article is confidential because there are people out there who would tell you to step back not say or do anything and let hashem take care of it but we all know that out part is very important as well

so cool
January 30, 2012 10:29 am

thats what its about, making your life not waiting for others to do it for you

shidduchim
January 30, 2012 1:56 am

I commend this very level headed and realistic young woman and wish her mazal tov and a very nachas filled and happy future. i believe that young people should approach shidduchim in a pragmatic,proactive and realistic way.Romantic notions are just that -notions and the stuff of fairy tales ,not real life.The man or woman of your dreams does not exist as you dreamt them up ,so how could they? If you meet a decent,kind person with the right values with whom you share common goals and aspirations ,and with whom you feel some connection ,you can then have a happy… Read more »

sleep and jump
January 29, 2012 11:27 pm

hey number 11
your advice is not so clear
Relax and Be Proactive.
hhmmm
simultaneously?

#14
January 29, 2012 11:18 pm

please share your story too!

i also hav a hashgacha pratis story
January 29, 2012 8:49 pm

cuz i just let Hashem do his thing……….& cant stop thanking hashem for my dtr in law!

Agree
January 29, 2012 5:11 am

It is unfortunate that many baalei tshuva are forced to call references and look for their own shidduchim. No t everybody feels comfortable doing this. I know a number of baalei tshuva who married later because it took them a few years to build up this confidence.
This is the way many must approach shiduchim. Baal tshuva seminaries/ yeshivos help for a while, but once they have left the yeshiva system they all too often end up on their own.

Helpful
January 29, 2012 4:30 am

Thanx for the helpful advice in regards to making shidduchim. I a not a Shaddchan however I so much enjoy going to Shidduchim meetings. These meetings are beneficial for my own shidduchim aged kids as well as for trying to make Shidduchim for others. Every so now and then I wonder if I should be attempting to get involved with setting up Shidduchim for I am NOT a professional Shaddchan. However, with articles as this one I am truly encouraged to continue to try and hey I almost landed one! It is honestly an enjoyable thing to do, it makes… Read more »

GREAT POINT
January 29, 2012 12:46 am

The point of this article:

#1 EVERYONE AND ANYONE CAN AND SHOULD MAKING SHIDDUCHIM!

It’s not about being a “pro” or your job.

#2 Be proactive.

#3 Relax!

GOOD JOB!

BTW, skype idea? AWESOME! Before making a guy spend $500+ and the time for the trip, have a skype date!

SO SO SO GOOD!

to no. 2
January 28, 2012 9:41 pm

what do you mean? Is this so out of the system? It is still quite the system. a shlucha sent her a profile so instead of doing the research herself are you suggesting that it should have gone through her shadchan or parents? no , i think she did the most sensible thing. Boruch Hashem and Mazel Tov to the author. i suggest children, at a certain age onwards(perhps 23) ask their parents which names are coming up and if they can be helping in the research, perhaps they will be interested to someone the parents dropped. I

thank you!
January 28, 2012 9:27 pm

very informative article…. i have never even considered the fact that a baal(as) teshuva does not have the support of his/her family and can sometimes even be discouraged by the family as they do not understand the whole religious dating system. thank you very much for sharing you’re experience so that i can learn to respect people and have a bit more of an understanding of what they are going through. It is also nice to read about you’re taking a “break” from the shiduch “rituals”…. sometimes we just have to “let go” and let G-d run the show for… Read more »

to #3
January 28, 2012 9:22 pm

what are you confused about? did you read the article or just look at it? The point is to be proactive about shidduch, dont just sit around and wait for it happen. This can be applied in mostly all areas of life.

This is the way to look at the shidduch process!!
January 28, 2012 8:12 pm
Thank you
January 28, 2012 7:16 pm

So nice tio hear the happy side of life too.

Take the initiative!
January 28, 2012 7:04 pm

I’m very impressed with this young lady’s common sense & ability to think outside the box. I agree, people must start looking beyond the confines of “acceptable” (whatever that means!) There’s nothing wrong with parents making their kids Shidduch….my machateniste-to-be & I did just that, after meeting by chance. We are old friends, & we got talking about our children & decided at the end of our conversation to call a professional Shadchan & see where it would go. We both were 100% certain that it would work (how, I couldn’t tell you) & B”H the wedding is very soon!… Read more »

congrats to you!
January 28, 2012 6:48 pm
confusing
January 28, 2012 6:46 pm

what exactly is your point?

BT life
January 28, 2012 6:40 pm

If you are a BT then i suggest especially to go threw the normal system. it will only work BETTER for them down the line when the marrige really starts!

Refreshing!
January 28, 2012 4:05 pm

A must read for everyone, B.T. or FFB, single or married! May Hashem Yisborach bless you and your chosson with a binyan adei od, and kol tuv b’gashmiyus ubruchniyus.

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