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Monday, 19 Tammuz, 5779
  |  July 22, 2019

    Making Fun of Baalei Teshuva

    Op-Ed by Rabbi Yehoshua Merenfeld: Since we are all so warm and welcoming to Baalei Teshuvas, why do we also make fun of them? Full Story

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    A BT
    Guest
    A BT

    < >

    Filling You In
    Guest
    Filling You In

    You seem pretty integrated. I mean that. But please integrate a little more and look at the bright side of it…..it’s a joke!

    Wow! Never Thought of it that way!
    Guest
    Wow! Never Thought of it that way!

    Thanks for your inspiring thoughts!

    mendyyyyy
    Guest
    mendyyyyy

    love the pic!!!

    to number 1
    Guest
    to number 1

    What a nebach u r.

    My parents are both BTs, and almost all of my siblings were snatched up by gezh.

    And as for my parents, the BT’s, they have better midos and are more sensitive to the Rebbe’s inyanim than most gezh po’ehrs.

     Kop Mentch
    Guest
    Kop Mentch

    Human nature makes us “notice” anyone “different”. The Baal Hatanya was called “The Litvak” because he was “different” in geographic origin. Was that nice to do? Probably not, but blame human nature. Talmudic scholars such as the likes of R’ Meir were called by “nicknames” that were actually derogatory. R’ Meir was called Acherim – “The Other Ones”, as a constant reminder that R’ Meir studied Torah from the infamous Acher. (Acherim is combination of “Acher” and Mem for R’ Meir). Remember that R’ Meir was from the greatest Tanoim – yet he was called “names” that were “uncomplimentary”. And… Read more »

    to 5
    Guest
    to 5

    thats very nice for your family, but most families (mine included) are rejected by gezhe families for shidduchim, even though my daughters are head and shoulders above – more refined, better and more chassidish than the gezhe girls who the boys families preferred.

    Oh G-d
    Guest
    Oh G-d

    Can we PLEASE stop with these Op-eds… No one cares. Enjoy your life and stop complaining. This website has turned so pessimistic, and annoying. Stick to engagements and weddings and stop trying to make controversial issues out of nothing!!!

    To # 1
    Guest
    To # 1

    According to your rhetoric Avorohom Avinu would not meet your approval or standards as a matter of fact he would be worse because he was the son of a CONVERT. If you truly believe in chassidus and the rebbe ( who spent his entire life encouraging every jew to do one more mitzvah ) you wouldn’t label people aimlessly.

    watch your words
    Guest
    watch your words

    To #1_ title A BT
    I think it.s offensive the way you speak.
    BT are in a higher level , and if u don.t want to marry any, don.t have to bash them publicly

    So easy to spot..
    Guest
    So easy to spot..

    I can spot a BT from a mile away. But, it’s true what you say. We should give you guys more respect…

    While Gezhe is parting in NYC clubs
    Guest
    While Gezhe is parting in NYC clubs

    I want to see who will deny his daughter to marry a BT who is a lawyer or a doctor. Levaev is a BT. Bogulubov is a BT, he has a son or a daughter you will have gdolei hador or all the great mashpiym lining up their daughters or sons. Funny stuff.

    I agree
    Guest
    I agree

    This has to stop!! The bt’s are so excited to come to lubavitch and then they get put down and lots get fried out because they feel like an outcast. In other communities like Flatbush and boro park being a BT is normal and accepted. They taint degrade Baal tshuvas and they’re not even the ones making them!! If we want to make them we also want to keep them!!!! The fact that people put them down makes them feel weird and differnt and then gheze people cant relate. Well obviously they cant relate because they already feel so excluded… Read more »

    Hes right
    Guest
    Hes right

    All i have to say is that theres more BT’s every day so eventually most people will be BT’s and everyone will have to respect them because that’s why eveyone will be and u cant only respect a minority.

    To #1
    Guest
    To #1

    Ummm excuse me you are being extremely disrespectful!!! With your logic, a fraye yid doesn’t have the ability to become a normal yid and a chossid who is mekushar to his rebbe!! You are a pllainly blasphamous shoyteh!!

    A BT and sfardi
    Guest
    A BT and sfardi

    Why everyone looks at Bts and sfardim like second class citizen and refuse to give them good shidduchim. Is this called
    ahavas Israel

    We shouldn't be talking about this
    Guest
    We shouldn't be talking about this

    I am sorry, this is insulting to Lubavitch intelligence…

    Haters will always hate. Period.

    Lovers – AKA Lubavitchers – will always love. Period.

    Long live Lubavitch

    To #1
    Guest
    To #1

    I come from yichus and I have no problem with my kids marrying Baal Tshuvas, if they’re normal! Most bochurim these days are totally overrated!

    Yasher koach alei vHatzklichi!!!
    Guest
    Yasher koach alei vHatzklichi!!!

    Yeshivah tiferes menachem of seagate New York
    Continue your wonderful work with much Hatzlacha simcha and parnasah
    May we be zoche to greet Moshiach Now!

    mum
    Guest
    mum

    stop it already if a lifer whats to marry a bt look out ! we are all good in the eyes of G_D

    Beautiful article
    Guest
    Beautiful article

    Point well made and clearly brought across. We all have what to learn.

    to #8
    Guest
    to #8

    Could not have said it better;)

    Ad Dor Ho'asiri etc.
    Guest
    Ad Dor Ho'asiri etc.

    Dear BT. You must look at things realistically. Chabad holds every yid in the highest regard. That said human nature will cause one to be comfortable with what he was brought up with and look upon anything else as unusual. Making “fun of a BT is not making fun of him or her but of those aspects of a BT that appear unusual or comical to a lifer. Hearing someone say ” I have to go be Menachem Mendel my friend, because his father dies” is funny. It does not mean one is making fun of the BT but it… Read more »

    We should all be BT's
    Guest
    We should all be BT's

    Chsidim would say the goboreners (frum from birth) should be gevoreners (people who bacame frum) and gevoreners should b geboreners.

    Each one has its important maala. If a chossid can say he never became a Baal teshuva, why is his title “chossid”? A chossid has to realise that he has to be a mehalech- a gevorener…

    R' Mendy M
    Guest
    R' Mendy M

    A true dugme Chai for these Bachurim! The Yeshiva is luck to have him!

    Yasher Koach!
    Guest
    Yasher Koach!

    The Yeshiva in Sea Gate has produced wonderful Bochurim! Very impressed! Continued Hatzlacha!

    BT's United :)
    Guest
    BT's United :)

    if you folks feel that way, why subject yourself to this and try to integrate into a social circle that rejects you? Surely there’re other communities besides CH where you can grow yourself, raise a family, contribute to community, and be appreciated for what you are? Also, the BT circles are so wide and multi-faceted nowadays that you can find anyone from rabbonim, mashpiim, or shluchim who are BT’s or come from a BT family to accomplished professionals and business people, teachers, chasidisher balabatim etc. who love and enjoy their lifestyle and envirornment. So why let yourself focus on the… Read more »

    Good article
    Guest
    Good article

    Thank you for writing these words. Unfortunately, we can see from the comments that some of us are still majorly lacking in Ahavas Yisroel.
    Signed- child of BT, married to gezhe

    shidduch discrimination??
    Guest
    shidduch discrimination??

    why complain, get bitter, and dwell on the fact that the Nevel crowd doesn’t want you or your kid for shidduch, when you there’re lots of wonderful people and families like you where you can find the one destined for you?

    Well said
    Guest
    Well said

    Thank you, I agree with every word.

    Amazing!
    Guest
    Amazing!

    Yasher koach to Rabbi Mendy Majesky!
    The yeshiva is doing wonderful work every day!!
    May you go from strength to strength!

    Agree!
    Guest
    Agree!

    I’ve been thinking about this for a long time! and no I’m not a BT

    spotted!
    Guest
    spotted!

    You Don’t fool me for a second you “come from Yichus”. no seriously, but you’re right

    Well said, at the same time...
    Guest
    Well said, at the same time...

    I’m sorry this has been your experience… I have only the greatest respect for baalei teshuva and I respect them more in a way bc they’ve really earned where they’re up to! I am a student in a very high level Chabad mosad where one of my fellow students is a BT who only became frum a YEAR before joining this mosad – we are in our second year – and you would never know by looking at them today. They are in the top of the class, in learning (knowledge and dedication to learning), mivtzoim, ahavas yisroel, and in… Read more »

    Wonderful Accomplishment
    Guest
    Wonderful Accomplishment

    What an amazing institution. When you think about the hundreds of students and the families that they create, they’re responsible for bringing so much light into this world.
    Ad Mosai!

    Agree
    Guest
    Agree

    Agreed. Nemon has definitely something to do with this

    Great Article
    Guest
    Great Article

    I find this article very interesting and we should be careful about other people feelings. But seriously did you ever make fun of your parents, siblings, other family members? you still love them and most of the time its just harmless fun and a sign of a closer friendship/ relationship. most of the time its just observations of behavior and I think BT’s should fire back with their own observations etc. lets learn to see things with a twinkle.

    Yossi
    PS I sleep on a bunk bed to be closer to ‘havyah’

    To #6
    Guest
    To #6

    R’ Mier was called אחרים because he tried to shame rabban shimon Ben gamliel. (הוריות יג עמוד ב)
    Where’s the מקור to what you’re saying?!

    to #8
    Guest
    to #8

    well said!

    Question.
    Guest
    Question.

    Why do BTs walk in sneakers when they wear there Kapota on Shabbos?

    I've always felt this
    Guest
    I've always felt this

    What a shame, we are all Jews, and some of the ffb are so nasty, I’ve seen a women put her hand over the side of her mouth and gossip about people, she’s from a long line and yet, acts very very bad and a teacher. Manners maketh man. Manners and respect. This seems really lacking in the frum circles, just because you wear the clothes does not make you somthing better than others. There’s a form of bullying to it, like a silent type of thing, that says loudly, ‘not for us’. Just because, dear ffb people, a person… Read more »

    This is a General NY Additude
    Guest
    This is a General NY Additude

    For some reason, the general NY (and I dont only mean crown heights) mode of speech is very coarse and base. This applies toward people who are not the same color, background or ethnicity. I am currently out of NY for 10 years and when I come back I cant believe the level of insensitive speech that comes out of peoples mouths. To think that I actually used to speak like that myself, is sad. For example when you call a store, the people are very abrupt and not at all thankful that you are looking to purchase something at… Read more »

    My2Sense
    Guest
    My2Sense

    Making fun of other people is an expressional of personal insecurity. The BT’s make the Gezhe crowd feel insecure because BT’s are generally more decent, ethical, well-mannered, better educated, have more integrity, and believe in and practice Yiddishkeit with a far greater passion. There are exceptions of course, but those aren’t the kinds of people cracking the jokes.

    Earned
    Guest
    Earned

    I love BTs. The are educated, worldly, more tznius, more real, and understand what hard work means. We were educated to respect many kinds of people based on merit and not family name. We understand that reputations are earned. So no need to feel sorry for us. We come from strong families with strong values. We have sacrificed for our Judaism and many of us are blessed to know shluchim who have set the bar very high for us.

    a BT responds
    Guest
    a BT responds

    I just have to respond to #1 who points out that “you can taste it in their cholent”.

    To a certain extent the part about the cholent has truth to it, but do you know why? Because traditional cholent is such poison, I for one find it so surprising that people can eat the stuff week after week for years. I have tried for years to create healthier cholents. It doesn’t taste the same, but ok, at least I try to make a healthier version.

    I'm a bt
    Guest
    I'm a bt

    Wait until your kids start laughing at what you do and how you pronounce things!
    We are the reason the Rebbe sent shluchim, not for the glory of the shliach. Some shluchim are super snobby but they probably attract similar people, so stay near the ones who are capable of respecting you. There are a few.

    #6 Please! where do you take this nonsense from?!
    Guest
    #6 Please! where do you take this nonsense from?!

    At the end of tractate Horioth is clearly stated the reason why R’ Meir was called Acherim and it has nothing to do with what you claim. He didn’t respect the Nasi so he was punished by not having his name mentioned and instead being referred to as Acherrim. Where you take your version from remains a mystery to me. If someone doesn’t know, that’s alright, but to make things up FOON PUPICK ARAIN is horrifying.

    The real issue
    Guest
    The real issue

    Kids of BTs dont feel part of it there is a increasing divide between gedge kids and not

    The only reason...
    Guest
    The only reason...

    The reason you see gezhe marrying BTs is either they are ” Chabad lite” style or they want the money or the looks. If they would think of what the future holds for them and their generations to come they might want to hold on very tight to their ancestry that were moiser nefesh to uphold yiddishkeit

    To the author
    Guest
    To the author

    As a FFB guy, here is my take: Nobody that I know HATES BT’s, but many FFB’s dislike their behavior. Take a simple example: A woman posted an OP-ED a little while ago about how proud she was that she “discovered” that a doppler was considered an ultrasound, and how she is now able to fully carry out the directive of the Rebbe not to perform an ultrasound. I’m willing to bet dollars to donuts that the woman who wrote that OP-ED is a BT. I could be wrong, but this would be a good example nontheless. BT’s, as a… Read more »

    true but...
    Guest
    true but...

    i have seen disgusting people on both sides stuck up gezh who think they run lubavitch and BT’s who feel that in order to fit in he must push others down, looking at the cup as half full I know amazing people BTs and gezh alike

    Um, call me a ba'al teshuva....
    Guest
    Um, call me a ba'al teshuva....

    But the correct pronunciation IS LHaChayos Mesim…..

    correct me if I’m wrong..???

    to 37
    Guest
    to 37

    you said said BT’s should fire back with their own observations. believe me,we make fun of you gezhe all the time.

    who is A BT
    Guest
    who is A BT

    Who is a BT? this is the question if you call a BT to someone who became religious 10 ,15 or 20 years ago Probably he just was very excited at that time, and now he is trapped with the hat and beard and kids in Yeshivah I don’t think that this “BT” is on a higher place that an FFB If something is funny , its funny, sometimes is impossible to hold it, you are not laughing about the guy, rather about something funny, as if you heard a good joke We have to be happy and proud about… Read more »

    to 49
    Guest
    to 49

    That is simply not true! I know off the top of my head half a dozen people who had “mixed” marriages, gezhe to BT, and none of them did it because they were less frum, ie, what you’re calling Chabad lite, or because of money. If in general those criterion are part of your agenda, I feel very sorry for you.

    Wow, sneakers? Really?
    Guest
    Wow, sneakers? Really?

    Dude, I’m gezhe and I wear sneakers on Shabbos. They’re more comfortable. I don’t see your point.

    If the hat fits
    Guest
    If the hat fits

    If one would think about this, they would realize that when we left mitzrayim the vast majority of yidden were NOT following the torah. When we came to har Sinai and Moshe missed the (miscalculated) return date, how many (and who) went to Moshe Rabeinu when he asked who is with HaShem? The fight in Eretz haKodesh during Chanuka was between the few who kept the torah vs. the majority who followed the yevanim.. I am tired of being labeled a B.T, a Chabadnik, a this that or othernik. I am tired of being told which shuls I am able… Read more »

    Please
    Guest
    Please

    Just as Israeli mentality, French mentality Russian mentality and American is different, so is BT and Gezsha. You think you are better, go ahead. It doesn’t bother me. But why does it bother you if I think I am better. If a white person says something negative about a shvartzer, it is racist. But when a shvartzer says something against a white no one says anything. Because the white person couldn’t car less. All the comments against FFB or Gezsha are written by BTs. Who cares. But a comment written against a BT is removed from the post. Faceit the… Read more »

    to 47
    Guest
    to 47

    Like you said the reason for NOT calling him r meir
    Was bc of disrespect to the nasi . But maybe the
    Reason they CALLED him acheirim and not some
    Other name was due to the reason givin by the comment
    You bashed . Just giving the benefit of the doubt

    ****make it right...bring in the light****
    Guest
    ****make it right...bring in the light****

    Everyone has a unique, individualized, relationship with HaKadosh Baruchu and special, unique mission here in this world. No need to judge. We are a chelek Eloka mima’al mamash
    -A fellow Jew

    to number 13
    Guest
    to number 13

    thanks for an awesome laugh.. sorry couldnt resist when I read how you spell the word mediocre

    Gezhe 9 Generations
    Guest
    Gezhe 9 Generations

    My Shver is a BT, his kids married: Gezhe, FFB, Gezhe, Gezhe, BT.

    My father is Gezhe, his kids married: BT, Tzugekumener, Poilisher, Ungarisher, BT.

    …….

    P.S. In the 1960’s a certain Choshuve Chossid married one of his daughters to a BT boy (not a son of a BT, but an actual BT).

    At the Ufruf, he was being harassed by fellow Gezhe on how he let his daughter marry a BT. His response was: “Don’t worry, my eidem is not a Ba’al Teshuva, he still does Aveiros…”

    well written
    Guest
    well written

    and well said.
    Thanks for bringing these concerns to the public

    we make fun of evryone
    Guest
    we make fun of evryone

    ppl are human and we tent to make fun and joke about
    any type of person or thing… bt no diffrent… we shouldent make fun of anybody….

    A former Sea Gater
    Guest
    A former Sea Gater

    Good work, Yehoshua! And I know whereof I speak. Ourselves BTs, we were privileged to have spent eleven years in Sea Gate around the corner from Tiferes Menachem Yeshiva in the company of the elite. Those who labor under negative assumptions and who voice uncomplimentary remarks regarding this yeshiva, its faculty and students are seriously mistaken.

    don't be insecure
    Guest
    don't be insecure

    I’m FFB and proudly married a BT. I dated alot and most of the geze girls were either very vain or ssooo boring.

    There’s good and bad everywhere but on the whole BT’s rock.too many though have an inferiority complex. Lubavitch belongs to its chasidim -just reach out, grab it, and make it your own.

    To 50
    Guest
    To 50

    I know the woman who wrote that Pd-Ed and she is a FFB who Boruch Hashem cares about hiskashrus and doing things the way the Rebbe wants to the max. Please dont reserve this special quality and virtue for BT’s. That what we all as chassidim should strive for. The great chassidim like Itche the Masmid for example were EXTREMELY scrupulous for Torah and Mitzvos and the Rebbe’s Horaos- as chassidus should be instilling in us this high level of Yiraas Shamayim.If you are only seeing it in the BT’s, then though I was born in a very Gheze family,… Read more »

    Agree
    Guest
    Agree

    With #63

    ALFRED E NEWMAN
    Guest
    ALFRED E NEWMAN

    WELCOME TO THE WORLD OF GHEZH!!
    THE GREAT DIVIDE COMES HOME WHEN SHIDDUCHIM ARE SUGGESTED.

    My Op-ed
    Guest
    My Op-ed

    There are a few problems. Some of the Gezhe feel superior to BTs because they have grandparents from Russia who ate kasha in Toimchai temimim. They also feel this gives them a right to do whatever they want and not have to worry about getting into a yeshiva or marrying into certain families or procuring the best shlichus spots. BTs on the other hand feel that the Gezhe FFBs are hypocrites and insincere. But wait here are a few more insights. BTs problems are that they put FFBs on a pedestal, start lecturing them on halacha and the Rebbe’s directives… Read more »

    770 CHAVER
    Guest
    770 CHAVER

    ABOUT TIME THESE COMMENTS SHOULD BE POSTED ONLINE, YES, AGREE BIG DISCRIMINATION UNFORTUNATELY AND AS WE ALL KNOW THE REBBE INSTRUCTED US AHAVAS YISROEL NOT ONLY MAKE B.Ts BUT ALSO TO MARRY THEIR KIDS, COME ON 2ND GENERATION, JUST PASHUT UGLY!!! IN 2014, STILL TALKING ABOUT THAT PARENTS GEZHE ARE STILL LOOKING AT B.T.s LIKE THEY ARE COMING FROM MOON, B.T.s DON’T KNOW HOW TO LIVE, JUST ONE THING THAT GEZHE PEOPLE FORGET THEY KNOW VERY WELL HOW TO LIVE BESHEFA, WORDLY, NOT JUST WITH ROTTEN CARROTS !!! MY OPINION TRAVELING ALL OVER THE WORLD, SHLUCHIM THEY HAVE THE SAME… Read more »

    making fun
    Guest
    making fun

    is never ok..

    i am ffb and have no idea why bts feel they are being viewed as second class- i definitely admire them.

    that being said, when it comes to marriage most people would like to marry one who is most similar to them and their background- this is not a sign of ‘feeling better’ its simply what we do in marriage-find someone similar.

    in fact i know bts that will only marry other bts- since they understand that similar bacground work better!

    Enough
    Guest
    Enough

    Yes, BT s and Gezsha have different mentality, different background, different relatives. Stop being a social climber. If Gezsha get engaged to BT the phone calls flying is ” what happened here”. If Gezsha propose a shiduchim to a BT, the BT even ask themselves, what is wrong with the boy/ girl that they want us. There are wonderful people in both camps. Bmokom shebaalei teshuvah omdim etc and hakodosh Boruch hu shomeia letifilas tzadik Ben ttzadik letifilas tzadik Ben rosho. So both are good in their own way and we need to accept everyone on their level

    Whoever coined these terms was wrong
    Guest
    Whoever coined these terms was wrong

    I always hated the terms BT or FFB or Lifer…how absolutely stupid they are. All we really have are Baalei Teshuva. Everything else is coarse nonsense.

    Complex
    Guest
    Complex

    If you go around with a chip on your shoulder, people sense that. When you venture out of the BT Yeshiva and integrate yourself into the community, get a job, have a family and conduct yourself as a normal yid, for the most part nobody makes fun of you. But if you segregate yourself, and constantly are conscious of your different background, you subject yourself to being treated differently. However I agree with #12, when it comes to shidduchim (with some exceptions -older singles etc..) It’s all about the money. FFB + child of BT with $$$ is ok!

    same but diferent
    Guest
    same but diferent

    not better or worse. Just different. Accept that and you will be much happier. Everyone should be happy with who they are and if not please improve on who you are. Dont try to be someone your are not..

    to number 52
    Guest
    to number 52

    It is a chatof patach.
    Great Question!
    A lot of ffb’s don’t even notice!

    it is a very complex issue.
    Guest
    it is a very complex issue.

    I know that there are 2 sides to each coin and there is good and the opposite by everyone, and not everyone can differentiate and pick the best, so let us ALL be tolerant to each other and try your best. As the saying goes, ‘all Chasidim of the Alter Rebbe were outsiders at first and then became Chasidim.
    A Frailochin Purim to yoh All

    to # 75 "Complex"
    Guest
    to # 75 "Complex"

    I’d think before I make a comment about BT’s getting a job! They usually score higher in that area and have a work ethic – most BT’s were raised on the values of getting an education, working hard, and spending money that they earned! Living above their means to impress others is not a value most BT’s bring with them!

    ARE WE...
    Guest
    ARE WE...

    BH
    BSD

    ARE WE NOT ALL BAALEI TESHUVA?

    #70,you make me laugh!
    Guest
    #70,you make me laugh!

    you write a list of ffb and bt behaviors and then you say look at everyone individually.

    Morristown
    Guest
    Morristown

    I heard when Tiferes in Motown opened and it was going to be next to Tomchei Tmimim a mother wrote to the rebbe concerned that the BTs will have a harmful influence on the FFBS.
    The rebbe replied farkert the FFBs may learn something good from the BTs.

    Yossel
    Guest
    Yossel

    To #42: I agree with you. NY is a nasty place to live unless you have a circle of friends and can fit in with the general mentality of living in an overcrowded, dirty and stressful place. I believe the Rebbe had every intention of making CH a model Jewish community, but his followers didn’t follow through and so we’re stuck with what we have today. Keep in mind, putting 20 rats in a cage that was designed for 5 will create a very stressful situation for them all. My intention is NOT to compare rats to people, but when… Read more »

    The good, the bad and the ugly
    Guest
    The good, the bad and the ugly

    B”H thanks to the Rebbe, his unbounding love for every jew and his dedicated shluchim, I was able to see the beauty of my own reliigon and heritage. This was enough to inspire me to become an observant yid, move to crown heights – spening a number of years at Hadar Hatorah. I’ve had the privilage and the honor pf studying under great teachers and mentors and met fascinating and inspiring people. However, i also got to see a real ugly side to the community whilst living there. For better or worse, I suddenly “inherited” a label – a “BT… Read more »

    live in a small community
    Guest
    live in a small community

    And this great divide is even greater. There is less social pressure to be nice to BTs and fewer people to hide amongst.

    #82
    Guest
    #82

    alot of comments here which deserve responses. But I have to thank #82 for that. Although I have to say that in a busy overwhelming place as NY is, that people are less likely to be as deep about waking up to the reality that each person has a value, and one can and should learn from each person, etc. there will always be those shallow people who can’t see past their own limitations, but the most important thing is that if you know BT’s or are a BT, that the best thing you can do for yourself is to… Read more »

    this could be a song
    Guest
    this could be a song

    col thanks for posting
    chaim fogelman

    praise
    Guest
    praise

    comment 82 says it all

    I have 2 points
    Guest
    I have 2 points

    Firstly, I congradulate you on signing your name. Your proud and that’s amazing.
    Secondly, add shiduchim to the picture and it gets much more ugly.
    Nuf said.

    Yasher Koach #57
    Guest
    Yasher Koach #57

    A lot of good food for thought here, but your comment particularly stood out. My husband and I don’t go for labels either. But if we did, I would prefer the Israeli “Chozer B’Teshuva”–connoting a present-tense, ongoing effort to improve oneself, rather than “Baal Teshuva”–someone who has already “mastered” their connection with Hashem. (Halevai!)

    I must also note that in our non-NY community, Boruch Hashem, people are respected for what we DO rather than for our backgrounds, whatever they may be.

    Mendy Majeski
    Guest
    Mendy Majeski

    Keep up the great work your doing!:)

    Child of Off-the-Derech Teen
    Guest
    Child of Off-the-Derech Teen

    A Chossid once made a derogatory remark about BTs during Yechidus. The Rebbe, who was holding a pencil in his hand, threw down the pencil and exclaimed, “You’re talking about people with very high neshamos!” I’m no mayven in neshamos, but I believe this BT-FFB gap is mainly a culture gap between BTs and FFBs. Within the “BT” category, though, there are lots of cultural distinctions: an intellectual Russian BT might be extremely different from a BT from rural Texas, who might be quite different from a BT from the Tel Aviv beach scene, who might be very different from… Read more »

    the iker is the person and not the background
    Guest
    the iker is the person and not the background

    someone once asked the rebbe, what should he do, his kochos he can work on, but what about the livushim? the rebbe said that he will take care of the livushim (the rebbe is our tatte and we get his levushim keveyochol)

    Thanks 72
    Guest
    Thanks 72

    (You took the words out of my mouth:)

    Making fun is never ok..

    I am FFB and have no idea why BTs feel as if they are being viewed as second class – I definitely admire them!

    That being said, when it comes to marriage, most people would like to marry one who is most similar to them and their background – this is not a sign of ‘feeling better’ its simply what we do in marriage – find someone similar.

    In fact, I know BTs who will only marry other BTs – since they understand that similar background works better!

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