ב"ה
Monday, 10 Adar I, 5784
  |  February 19, 2024

Local Single Mother Needs Our Help

A single mother from the community has fallen upon a crisis. Her marriage of many years fell apart in difficult circumstances, and she is left caring for more than 5 children alone. Sadly and unfortunately, her ex-husband is refusing to contribute his share towards the support of the children, and the bills have grown and grown. Full Story

L’Chaim: Liberow – Barkatz

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Moshiach now
November 30, 2023 12:12 pm

I’m a single mom myself its not so easy, hope it all works out for you

Why is he allowed to "refuse" to support
Reply to  Moshiach now
December 12, 2023 2:00 pm

his OWN children ? Have these Rabbis had a very harsh talk with him ? Is he welcome at all the shuls ? Does he get alliyas? Do people greet him ? Are his tzedaka checks being returned with a note that says “No thank you – we prefer that you support your own children.” The children did nothing, but they are surely suffering financially and psychologically. I just don’t understand why a wonderful, caring community like Crown Heights allows these tragedies to happen under our noses.

Sorry to hear
November 30, 2023 1:24 pm

Unfortunately some people fall in these type of situations

Sad
November 30, 2023 4:43 pm

I’m sorry shes going thru this!
But their needs to be something set up so this dosent happen in the first place – the husband refusing to contribute! Cant imagine what the single mom is going thru.

Correct
Reply to  Sad
December 6, 2023 5:14 pm

Two ideas come to mind: 1. Everyone should be signing a halachic prenup and 2. Every woman should be financially independent prior to marriage I did not say this is easy or possible for everyone, it’s just an insurance policy so that you don’t find yourself in this situation

Would Like to Know Why He is not Paying
December 6, 2023 5:35 pm

We live in a world where there are always two sides of the story. Has she alienated the children from the father? I would love to know the full story not just one side.

No two sides when it comes to the children.
Reply to  Would Like to Know Why He is not Paying
December 6, 2023 8:45 pm

Even if that were the case, which I doubt, the father still has a moral and legal obligation to his children. There are no two sides when it comes to the obligation to support one’s children no matter how upset you might be with your ex or what he or she has done.

Even if that was the case
Reply to  Would Like to Know Why He is not Paying
December 6, 2023 10:58 pm

The father is still obligated to support the children financially. There are no excuses or exceptions. If he thinks he’s punishing his wife then he’s also punishing his children

Take him to court
December 12, 2023 6:37 pm

No mother should be left alone to deal with the financial issues. He should be taken to court. Period. End of story. This is illegal.

No money & no Get
Reply to  Take him to court
December 13, 2023 4:28 am

Sadly, I know of several single mothers (myself included), who do not receive any child support. Some ‘clever’ individuals work off-the-books so as to avoid being court-mandated to make such payments. In my situation, the father went so far as to abscond in order to avoid giving a Get, and, in turn, is not available to be legally pursued for child support. Our legal system places the onus on the ‘petitioner’ (in this case, overworked, overwhelmed single mother ) to attempt to locate the missing father. And, in answer to a previous comment, unfortunately, NO, very, very little is done… Read more »

On the books/off the books
December 20, 2023 10:31 am

In this situation working off the books is absolutely not fair at all.

Just my thoughts.

difficult for single moms
December 20, 2023 12:45 pm

unless one goes through it its so difficult to explain or for others to understand how intense this process is to go through with a difficult /abusive ex. courts are not to be relied on at all! legal fees very costly and the justice system is awful. unfortunately there aren’t many rabbis either being left without support is unfortunately done all the time. the support from outside is also very minimal because of comments like “there are 2 sides to every story” . that’s not accurate at all. not always! needs to be less judgment and way more support for… Read more »

Tell the father to Pay!
December 20, 2023 12:50 pm

I don’t understand why the Rabbanim don’t get more involved and tell the father to pay support!

The other side of the story
December 20, 2023 3:08 pm

B”h As someone who has been through this in the past, it is common to vilify the father. However, very often, the mother makes it very difficult for the father to have a relationship with his children after divorce. It is more normal for a father to be stripped down of his resources after divorce and be left with less than half of what he possessed before the divorce. More likely than not, the father is no longer emotionally invested in maintaining connection with his ex and unfortunately even his children. Yes, he should support( financially) his children to the… Read more »

Don't make assumptions
Reply to  The other side of the story
December 20, 2023 3:43 pm

The post is to help this Single Mom. No one should speculate why the father is not supporting his very own children. Do not pass judgement.
After 120 years, Hashem knows the truth if the father could afford to pay and copped out.
Divorce is hard on both sides. Most importantly the children need to be supported and not feel “less than”

Response of one who has passed through this
Reply to  Don't make assumptions
December 20, 2023 6:55 pm

Instead of automatically indicating the father, as the post seems to do, perhaps it may help to realize that most fathers through divorce who are rational would be more invested in supporting their children if the father’s input was not so marginalized after divorce

More excuses
Reply to  Response of one who has passed through this
December 21, 2023 6:52 pm

Seems like an ego driven response to not pay child support that only punishes the kids

Excuses!
Reply to  The other side of the story
December 21, 2023 6:48 pm

They can put extra effort to so their children want to spend time with them. It’s actually much less financially draining for a man who’s divorced to just give the minimum legal support than if he were to be living with a wife and kids!

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