Concerned mothers throughout the Chabad community urge parents to give their daughters an important gift as they become Bas Mitzvah. Hear more live at the MUST global Hakhel event Monday night at 8:30 PM EST.
To quote one of these mothers, Esti Chazanow, “Imagine you can give your daughter the perfect gift, a magic potion. It helps her achieve emotional wellness, greater physical health and strength. It’s a gift that makes her do better at school because it leads to better brain development and functioning. It’s a gift that enables her to have better communication skills, more fulfilling relationships with her friends and family. And most importantly, it’s a gift that keeps giving for the rest of her life, as she sets the foundation for her future.
I want to invite all of us to rethink how we allow our daughters to interact with technology. Last year in South Florida, together with a group of mothers from Lubavitch Educational Center and other local schools, we officially launched the South Florida chapter of Mothers Unite to Stall Technology (MUST). Our organization encourages mothers to unite and pledge to one another that they will pause their child’s use of personal devices.
Let’s give our daughters the gift of presence.
In South Florida we are lucky to have educators who are completely in tune with the challenges of our kids. Mrs. B. Shechter, a principal at LEC, introduced a powerful initiative to us middle school moms: The Gift of Our Presence. As we send our daughters to Bas Mitzvahs that have been highly anticipated and planned to the last detail, let’s send them without phones. Let’s give the Bas Mitzvah girl a priceless gift as well, the gift of our daughters’ whole hearted presence, no distractions.
Of course this applies no less to our sons and to their Bar Mitzvahs. It was actually at a Bar Mitzvah that I first got involved with MUST. There was amazing food, beautiful decor, and truly meaningful speeches. All sorts of activities were set up for the kids. And guess where all the friends of the Bar Mitzvah boy were? Sitting around on their phones…
I recently read Abigail Shrier’s groundbreaking book on the effects of technology on teen and tween development. I was floored. Abigail Shrier is a journalist for the Wall Street Journal who stumbled upon a crisis. She studied the data extensively, interviewed thousands of families, educators and professionals, and has concluded a recommendation to parents of young adults.
“If I had told you in 2007 that one device would produce a sudden skyrocketing in self-harm among teens and tweens, you would likely have said, ‘No way is my kid getting one.’ And yet, here we are: the statistical explosion of bullying, cutting, anorexia, depression… is owed to the self-harm instruction, manipulation, abuse, and relentless harassment supplied by a single smartphone…”
We are parents for a reason. We do not need to be afraid to push back. Not only can our kids handle it, but they even crave the boundaries we set.
By joining this pledge, we moms have the power to protect our daughters and give them the greatest Bas Mitzvah gift of all, a priceless presence that will continue to affect our daughters for the rest of their lives.”
Join the MUST Hakhel event tonight at 8:30 PM EST by visiting neshamos.org/mustevent
Couldn’t hear it live but would love to hear a recording.