The headline of the news piece was “The Women Who Converted to Islam and Moved to the Territories,” and it was an attempt to show how mixed Jewish-Muslim couples live happily ever after.
“As is often the case, the road to the territories is through the heart,” said interviewer Ohad Hamu in the Channel 12 TV broadcast 12 years ago, describing with pathos the story of a young Jewish woman who had fallen in love with an Arab, converted to Islam and moved in with him in Yericho.
“When I start praying, a stone falls from my heart. I start to breathe,” said Yael (a pseudonym), wearing a black veil that revealed only her eyes.
“Between me and G-d, I am a Muslim,” she declared, spreading out a rug on which to bow down for Muslim prayer. “After my child’s birth, I didn’t say ‘Shema Yisrael,’ but started reading from the Koran. That’s what finalized things for me, no doubt about it.”
Her Muslim husband, photographed at her side, shared the story of how they met. In another scene, she is photographed with her mother-in-law hugging and smiling while the interviewer jokes about her daughter-in-law’s Arabic accent.
“They start a new life, exposed to prejudice, to racism as well as to hatred,” says the interviewer, referring to how they are viewed by her Jewish family and friends. “I am not a free person. I am afraid. I am afraid of the religious organizations and my family.”
It is only towards the end of the segment that the real motive behind the broadcast becomes clear. The husband’s lawyer talks about how the Israeli authorities are making it difficult for him to receive a blue Israeli ID card, and hoping the piece will pressure them.
Looking back at that interview 12 years ago, the Jewish woman featured in the clip, whose real name is Dana, admitted the truth. “We did the interview so he could get a blue ID card,” she conceded. “They forced me to take a picture with the veil and the prayer rug. I did everything they told me, like a robot. That’s how I was there, like a zombie, doing what I was told without question.”
It’s been about four years since Dana left the destructive, violent relationship, but the rehabilitation process is ongoing. “My exit from there was a miracle,” she tells leading Israeli interviewer Yinon Magal, in the hope that her story will lead others to sever their relationships with Muslim partners.
“I want to inspire real hope,” she says. “I hear about what the female hostages went through in Gaza, and I understand them.”
Dana lived in Jericho for more than 10 years and bore five children to her Muslim husband before managing to escape with the help of Yad L’Achim. Now, after the Simchas Torah massacre, she hopes that women in her previous situation will understand that they are being exploited and abused.
“The truth blew up in my face,” she says. “In that interview with Channel 12, I said that I was an example of how Jewish-Muslim couples could live together, but that was simply not true. It was an unhappy life.”
In an interview with Hadas Tzuri in Olam Katan, Dana revealed that she first met her Arab partner in Eilat, where she lived after completing her military service. “My father died when I was a child, and I didn’t have a father figure at home,” she recalled. “My mother did the best she could, but I wasn’t coping with the situation and, so I ran away from home. The Arab came into my life when I was particularly vulnerable, when I didn’t want to return home but wanted someone to love and take care of me. He covered the cost of my rent and cigarettes and showered me with gifts. He gave me everything I needed, but only until he no longer needed me.”
In what way did he no longer need you?
“As soon as he realized that being married to me wouldn’t get him the blue ID card, he changed completely,” she recalled. “I went through terrible things, being subjected to stone throwing, slapping and humiliation in front of the children. I didn’t have any say in our home. The truth is I could have died a long time ago. There was nothing that could have kept him from killing me. I am a walking miracle.”
Do all the women there live like that?
“The majority do,” she said. “The situation for all the women is bad, and there is no one to help them.”
The fact that she was Jewish generally put her at a disadvantage but, at times, saved her from beatings. “His parents were afraid that something would happen to me and the Israeli army would come in because of it,” she said.
“Once, when we lived with them, his mother stood between him and me when he wanted to beat me, and absorbed his blows.”
That day, he kicked Dana out of the house, put her in the car, and dropped her off at the Almog Junction. “I hitchhiked back to Yericho,” she said. “I wasn’t ready to leave my children there.”
In 2015, her husband informed her that he wanted to take a second wife. “Even before that, he had other women, some of whom he brought home, when I was pregnant,” she recounted.
On top of that, he saddled her with debts of half a million shekels at the bank: “I had to do everything he said in the account. Miraculously, this was my way out of there because I started meeting with someone from the Paamonim organization, which helps people put their financial matters in order, and he referred me to Yad L’Achim.”
In 2020, Dana, with the help Yad L’Achim, managed to escape to Dimona, where her mother was living. “Two days before that, I tore apart the Heavens with my tears and prayers, pleading with Hashem to take the children and me out of Jericho!”
A few days later, Dana’s husband asked for a divorce, which went through quickly. However, even the divorce did not put an end to the destructive relationship.
“After we separated, he began stalking me. I would never have survived this period without the help of Yad L’Achim’s dedicated activists, who were on the phone with me day and night helping me deal with the anxiety attacks caused by his stalking. He also sent threats through the children, slashed my tires and broke into my car. It was a nightmare.”
Today, she continues to suffer from post-trauma, and Yad L’Achim remains at her side, providing therapy, medication, and parenting help.
“When I lived in Jericho, I was literally on the verge of madness,” she testified. “They would take everything from me: clothes that my mother had bought for me and the children, even shampoo and toothpaste, and money I’d received from the National Insurance Institute. I had no say about anything, I was like a robot, doing everything I was told. It took me a while to break out of this even after I’d managed to escape.
“They convinced me that I would never be able to manage on the outside, and, in fact, I really had nothing when I left – no refrigerator, no washing machine, nothing. In a relationship like this, you are in a situation where you have nothing but the Creator.”
Dana is getting stronger in her observance of mitzvos, and her children study in a religious framework. “I’m in a completely different place, Baruch Hashem,” she says, “Yad L’Achim assigned mentors for each of my children to help them in school and strengthen them in their Judaism.”
You said in your filmed interview with Magal that you understand the hostages in Gaza. What did you mean by that?
“What I went through, they go through in a much more extreme way. In Muslim culture, the husband gets everything he wants from the woman regardless of what she wants. Women don’t have free choice, only the man is important. The mental abuse and psychological control I experienced is similar to what Hamas is doing to us today: they play with our minds to cause a complete breakdown. It’s clear to me that if I had not gotten out of there, I’d have gone crazy before dying. The mental humiliation is a strong motif for them; the mental abuse comes before the physical abuse – and from there it’s easier to break the person.”
Despite what you’ve been through, you talk about gratitude and Divine intervention.
“By the grace of Heaven, I and my five children were rescued. I have indeed been mentally wounded, but there are women who have also been physically harmed and returned without their children, who’ve been left behind.
“Regarding faith, ever since I was a child I talked to G-d. Clinging to my beliefs gave me strength. As I got stronger, I realized how much G-d was with me, and how this was something that I apparently had to go through. This is my mission, and it strengthens me. I am grateful because I am an example of an open miracle, and I have infinite love for the Creator of the universe.”
How connected are you to Judaism today?
“Very. I pray to G-d every day, asking that He forgive me for the past and give me strength for the future. I also thank G-d for sending me Yad L’Achim, which rescued me from the deep hole I was in. Its activists were the ones who gave me the strength to move forward; they showed me that many women had taken this step, and were opening a new chapter in their lives.
“I am careful about dressing modestly, participating in Yad L’Achim’s Shabbatonim, and speaking to girls who are in situations similar to mine to help them break out and start anew. I feel that G-d welcomes me with open arms.”
These days, Yad L’Achim is embarking on a campaign to encourage the general public to participate in the extensive rescue and rehabilitation activities that are being carried out by Jewish women and their children. Contributions can be made on the Yad L’Achim website or by calling the hotline at *9234.
Yad L’Achim would like to emphasize that the video interview conducted by journalist Yinon Magal is also intended to increase public awareness. “If you know a Jewish woman who is in a similar situation, contact us as soon as possible and we will do everything to help her,” the organization urges.
They should sue and jail the abuser!
Crazy