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Thursday, 15 Tammuz, 5779
  |  July 18, 2019

    Ideal Shidduch: FFB, BT, Convert

    A Crown Heights rabbi has a straightforward response regarding marrying a young frum woman born to a non-observant family. Full Story, Video

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    Priorities
    Guest
    Priorities

    This article does set our priorities straight,thank you

    lets see someone follow those rules
    Guest
    lets see someone follow those rules

    all talk

    Great post!
    Guest
    Great post!

    I totally agree – the bottom line all depends on the Middos. I have a really close friend who has amazing Middos – he is open to dating anyone who shares those Middos and Chessed outlook – it doesn’t matter Giyores, Ballas Teshuva, Frum girl who grew up frum/chassidish, rebelled and now looking to reconnect with Chassidishkeit. Looking for a young woman 25-33 – please email me at [email protected]

    thank you
    Guest
    thank you

    yiras shamayim is the most important of all

    Ideal shidduch
    Guest
    Ideal shidduch

    One minute is not enough to discuss this topic.
    Today there are more complicated questions/problems
    than the above mentioned criteria. An era of advanced
    technological developments namely A.R.T.,despite its
    benefits,has brought unprecedented halachic problems
    which pose much more difficult questions than Shmiras
    Shabbos.

    very informative
    Guest
    very informative

    So many are not aware of this!

    Yehuda  l g
    Guest
    Yehuda l g

    I am open to that .look if heaven gives me it.

    Yehuda  l g
    Guest
    Yehuda l g

    I am open to that .look if heaven gives me it.

    question
    Guest
    question

    Your clip addressed the issue regarding a shidduch to a girl. Would the halacha apply equally of a shidduch to boy?

    why specifically female gender?
    Guest
    why specifically female gender?

    Why does not this rule also apply to a male convert or a male Baal teshuva ?

    Kol Hakuvod!!
    Guest
    Kol Hakuvod!!

    The truth revealed.

    Thanku rabbi braun!
    Guest
    Thanku rabbi braun!

    I really enjoy your one minute video clips! Quick, and full of content and knowledge

    I am a guir
    Guest
    I am a guir

    Now you can all apologize 😉

    I wrote #6
    Guest
    I wrote #6

    correction ; I guessed that people aren’t aware of this, but it’s likely that the vast majority or everyone is aware of this. Thank G-d!

    @10
    Guest
    @10

    ya why not boys?

    Can you explain this?
    Guest
    Can you explain this?

    An era of advanced
    technological developments namely A.R.T.,despite its
    benefits,has brought unprecedented halachic problems
    which pose much more difficult questions than Shmiras
    Shabbos.

    it is amazing
    Guest
    it is amazing

    How some people come from nothing and at one point (really) think they are Tzadok I’m compare to other, special when it come to shiduchim.
    Total sickness

    choose from ?
    Guest
    choose from ?

    Today the most choshuve yiddin aren’t frum so this whole choice is very limited

    rebbe gave me his view
    Guest
    rebbe gave me his view

    I told the rebbe in yechidus that someone had broken up my shidduch because I was a balas tshuvah and the boy was frum from birth. The rebbe asked me for the name of the person who broke us up!

    Halacha2go.com - The Daily 1-Minute Halacha
    Guest
    Halacha2go.com - The Daily 1-Minute Halacha

    Sources for daily halachos (this is #564) are posted on a weekly basis both in print–check local shuls (Crown Heights, Boro Park, Flatbush, Monsey, Lakewood) and on the website http://www.halacha2go.com.

    yeah yeah yeah
    Guest
    yeah yeah yeah

    Let’s see all the spitz Chabad follow this opinion. How many of them will accept a girl who is a baal teshuva for their son? G-d forbid it will pollute the lineage. One thing I agree with (although it wasn’t explicitly said, more implied)… these so-called old Chabad families have kids off the derech, to the extent of marrying out or living an immoral lifestyle. So who wants them anyway? FTR – I am not a BT and BH I married off all my kids to the right ones, covering every level from BT families to spitz. This snobbery is… Read more »

    Yossel
    Guest
    Yossel

    By the guys, the main priorities:
    1. Skinny girl
    2. Good looking girl
    3. Girl with money in her family
    4. Girl who dresses nicely
    5. Midos

    By the girls:
    1. Has a good parnassa (120,000 plus), or has rich parents who will support him even if he doesn’t work
    2. Is over 6 feet tall
    3. Goes to movies or the theater
    4. Is good looking
    5/ Is generous
    6. Knows how to learn
    7. Has good middos.

    Just basing the above on what I see…

     To #16
    Guest
    To #16

    This is not the place for this topic. But those are have the
    knowledge can understand…

    to # 13
    Guest
    to # 13

    You mean to say you are a ger? Giur is what you went through when you dipped in the mikveh.

    would you allow?
    Guest
    would you allow?

    the only way this type of ‘shiddach’ would happen is if there was huge money…the new ghezh

    @10 @15
    Guest
    @10 @15

    thats just the style of how halachah talks about marrige, it probobly goes both ways

    @25
    Guest
    @25

    Be happy people arent marring for an acre of land anymore. Money has always been the essence of marrige

    Halacha says
    Guest
    Halacha says

    Since when do we look in Halacha for Shiduchim?!

    My mother won’t let me date a girl from England, Australia and Israel.

    @#22
    Guest
    @#22

    Chas vishalom that looks should be involved. Go on a date with a good resume, and of its meant to be there will be an attraction no matter what the person looks like!
    The most important thing is what’s on the inside…
    I give everyone that has not yet found their bashert a Bracha that Hashem should make it easy and smooth and place the person right in front of you in an obvious manner

    why only girls?
    Guest
    why only girls?

    Answer: it is “derech shel ish lachzor achar isho” (the way of the man to search for a wife)

    and for the girl it says “tav lemeisav…”

    My opinion but dont agree
    Guest
    My opinion but dont agree

    i dont agree that marrying a ger is such a wonderful thing, firstly you cant have a regular relationship with their parents, it will always be strange, plus youll have to explain to your kids lots of stuff. It simply makes frum life much more difficult when you cant go their house for shabbos or pesach.lets not sugar coat this, itll be hard and a spouse has to.be ready for that. I love speaking and fabrageninh with my shver over shavbos and pesach, we share so much in common and couldnt have that relationship if he was not a shomer… Read more »

    To #21
    Guest
    To #21

    What’s “spitz”?

    Interesting
    Guest
    Interesting

    It can work sometimes does and sometimes doesnt.However, the rules apply only to each individual case.What about the grandkids not being able to eat in grandparents homes?Grandparents mocking the religious
    stuff infront of the kids?………There are complications…..
    There are also those who believe that marrying someone with similar backgrounds makes for more common ground.

    Rabbi Akiva
    Guest
    Rabbi Akiva

    Not all geirim are Rabbi Akiva…………

    TO #29
    Guest
    TO #29

    you’re wrong! I have heard from mothers themselves that the girl has to be pretty and thin. B”H all my children married Baalei Teshuva and have great marriages K”H. only one married spitz and didn’t last long. they then B”H remarried – a B T. Years ago, a man who considered himself spitz/ghesh came to the Rebbe for yechidus bemoaning that his daughter wants to marry a guy she was going out with who was a BT. The father was very upset stating “how does he come to her? (she is from such an illustrious background…) and the Rebbe responded… Read more »

    I did not look for
    Guest
    I did not look for

    money, looks, or size in my child’s Shidduch and I’m sure many with their priorities straight, also don’t

    To #31
    Guest
    To #31

    I am what’s called ffb as are my parents and in laws but my greatest respect is for BT’s and geirim. from your comment I would love to know who you are so that I can make sure none of my grandchildren get stuck with a member of your prejudiced family. Some of my siblings married bt’s and NEVER had a problem when visiting the in laws. For that matter, they were 100% MORE respectful of yiddishkiet than the ghesh and spitz that walk around the neighborhood half dressed.

    Son's/daughter's decision
    Guest
    Son's/daughter's decision

    I agree that the parents shouldn’t reject someone because they’re a BT or ger, but if the child wants to have frum parents in law who they can eat by, or a wife/husband for whome doing mitzvos is natural for them etc, then no one should pressure them otherwise. It’s their decision.

    i would add
    Guest
    i would add

    And say that should illnesses or death G-d forbid come upon the Ffb parent or even divorce fights there would be alot of challenges for the children chochom ainov brosho but hashem is incharge so you try your best

    To #38
    Guest
    To #38

    “For whom doing mitzvos is natural to them”? The Rebbe says doing mitzvos is natural to a Jew!!

    To 31 & 33
    Guest
    To 31 & 33

    You missed the point. The point was that if the giyores or BT has more yiras shomayim, then it’s better to marry them over a FFB with less yiras shomayim. Do you honestly think you farbreinging with your shver on pesach is more important that your children having a G-d fearing mother? Btw I personally never heard of any BT’s children who got affected by their non frum relatives (actually it’s much easier to get affected by non-chassidish relatives who are in the same system as you, which most of the gezha families have, than by relatives who have no… Read more »

    Totally agree but not going to happen
    Guest
    Totally agree but not going to happen

    I completely agree with this article, however, as a BT myself this won’t happen. As the saying goes, and yes this is the reality, you make them but won’t marry them. I married a BT with wonderful middos, BH, and who does take mitzvos seriously. With regards to our parents, no we may not fabreng with them, but we enjoy a good laugh and like to spend time with them. They BH get nachas from their grandchildren who are being raised to follow mitzvos that they might not do themselves. My in-laws look forward to every shabbos they spend with… Read more »

    dissappointed, but not disillusioned BT
    Guest
    dissappointed, but not disillusioned BT

    It wasn’t my not -yet-frum family that showed our children the wrong stuff. They were very respectful. It was the frum family teaching them all about the so called “grey” area and how its ok

    To number 42 you are a racist.....
    Guest
    To number 42 you are a racist.....

    All of this illustrious family garbage is just that. No one knows for sure if their heritage is pure. The only ones that have pure lineage are gairim because they are sons and daughters of Avraham and Sarah. You need to re examine your beliefs. They go against Halacha.

    wait something is not clear
    Guest
    wait something is not clear

    you write that the order of priorities is: Giyores, then a ba’alas teshuvah—provided they both have yiras Shamayim and are of upstanding character, and then a girl from a frum family who does not possess such sterling qualities.
    what about if all three possess sterling qualities? THEN what’s the order?

    In the ways of our fathers......
    Guest
    In the ways of our fathers......

    This is outrageous!!! As Gezhe, we marry Gezhe and Yichus (whether its the Yichus by family lineiage or the “new” Yichus of a “green” family – a few million dollars that they are not hesitant to share with our children for the privelidge of allowing them to marry into our coveted family). Its silly to think that we will ever do anything differently, our Zayde’s and Bubbe’s went to great lengths to perserve the purity of our family lineage and now you have people who just want to take that away?!?! Never!!!

    #45
    Guest
    #45

    the order is then whatever you prefer. The Rav’s point is to dispel the harmful notion that others aren’t “good enough” when it’s clear that often, people from frum families have serious issues in middos and yiras shamayim!

    the main point......
    Guest
    the main point......

    the main point is to marry a girl with Yiras Shamayim, that may include, girls from a divorced family, baaley teshuva, etc, don’t marry cause of their last name

    well done Rabbi Braun

    #46
    Guest
    #46

    You may need to take some good inventory before
    flaunting your ghezhe, yichus, and “green yichus”…
    and find that there are plenty of finer people beyond
    your limitations.

    Not 1
    Guest
    Not 1

    Life changing article… please expand on this thought. Thank you for giving BT girls hope!!!

    #46 does G-d classify people by yichus?
    Guest
    #46 does G-d classify people by yichus?

    Point to me where in the halacha it tells you that you must not “pollute” your “pure” yichus. You should preserve your customs for sure, but to say that marrying outside a community is unthinkable just points to how misguided you are. Such a mindset is a main part of the shidduch crisis problem.

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