By Danit Schusterman – COLlive
I am going to preface this article by saying that I am not writing nor preaching about Social Media, the Internet, smartphones or screens. This is NOT that article.
In January 2022, someone very close to me got sick. For about 3 weeks, my attention was only on this person, be it physically, emotionally, or mentally, and at times, all of the above. Baruch Hashem, that story had a happy ending, and everything worked out.
Things settled down, and I started to go back to my regular routine. Interestingly, I realized that throughout that entire stressful period, I had not checked my Instagram account. Not even once. And the strange part was that I didn’t even realize it.
Granted, I don’t have a business on Instagram or use it for networking, so I didn’t really lose much by not going on. It’s more of a hobby to share fun ideas and photography and peruse all the good recipes, inspirational quotes and clips and get some comedy in. And more often than not, get lost in it for hours.
Curious to see what would happen, I decided to remove the app from my phone (I kept my private account), and in the event that I felt I really wanted to go on, I’d simply download it back onto my phone. Really no big deal.
I never did go back on. Not because I held myself back or had willpower. It was not because I wanted to ‘challenge myself’ or thought it was ‘bad.’ It’s actually a lot of fun.
I didn’t go back on because I started noticing some very positive changes in my life and myself. And I liked the way these changes made me feel.
It was like my mind started to exhale. I now had more space in my head. It felt really nice, and it felt more clear. I had created more room to think and breathe.
Although I love watching inspirational clips and reading quotes, I realized that all the inspirational quotes wouldn’t make me a good wife, mother, or person. That’s MY job and MY work, and while I enjoy talking about these concepts of growth online with people, I know as well as with people I don’t the people who really matter are the ones who are right in front of me, being the actual recipients of my actions and words.
I saw so clearly that advice and guidance are so nuanced. There is SO much information out there, and it’s really not a one size fits all. There’s a lot of great stuff, don’t get me wrong, but it’s not all meant for ME. By disconnecting, I could now clearly follow my own gut and not everybody else’s and do what works for me and my family with a clear head. And that’s okay.
I learned that the REAL world is right in front of me, happening all the time. I found that my family and close friends are the ones whose real-life ‘likes’ and ‘comments’ really matter.
My Instagram hiatus may have started unintentionally, but it turned into a pretty amazing journey of so much growth and realization. I gained a lot of time which I use for real connections and self-growth, and although this is so cliche- I learned how to be in the ‘now’ and not view the world through a screen and a filter but through my own eyes and my own interpretations. It’s been nice. And I wanted to share that.
– Danit Schusterman is an Unconventional Parenting and Education Coach for parents who have tried everything but nothing works. You can reach her at [email protected]
I like the statement: its MY job and MY work. And remember its YOUR LIFE! what you make from it, the fruits of your labor will be seen later years in life. With your spouse kids and most yourself. Social media is great for growth in learning since no one is ready to teach you readily or openly. But dont forget to inhale and exhale G-d’s wonderful world!
Social media causes more harm than good
And unfortunately some of the harm it causes is devastating both for the person, and those around them, on physical and spiritual levels
Loved that. So relatable.
Thanks for sharing.
I do sometimes find that the inspiration I encounter on Instagram (eg parenting advice) is so hashgacha pratis and just what I needed to hear but I guess Hashem can provide that inspiration through various means without cluttering my mind or distracting myself from the present ..
Love this so much ! Thanks for sharing
Thank you for writing this! I needed to hear this to ground me and help me feel more present. Social media is a huge distraction for me. So on point!
I feel like I wrote this! It’s exactly what happened to me! 4 years later! I don’t regret deleting the app from my phone! Ty Danit for sharing this! So so important and needed 🙏🏻
I did the same I have the account but hardly feel the need to go on. Thanks for sharing so important for today’s generation!!
I am shockingly addicted , I can say ok I am not going on for a few hours and then 3 minutes later I’m back on
Addicted to WhatsApp and IG
at least whatsapp youre keeping in touch with people. Instagram is a bottomless pit and causes more harm than good and often jealousy
No matter how great the parenting advice -your kids need you at the bus stop, dr office and park
No matter how exciting it is to be out with your spouse or child , if you’re busy posting about it-you’re out with your phone
No matter how great your teaching material , if your phone is on the table , the kids feel you are not fully present for them.
We live ONCE stop wasting precious time!!
Just deleted Twitter thanks for the wise words so true
Please don’t let your phones and social media take over your life!
Social media is incredibly dangerous for teens! It can cause them so many terribly psychological problems and has even led to suicide, G-d forbid may Hashem save us!!!!! Stop lying to yourselves that “smart” phones are kosher, G-d forbid!!!! They are NOT!!! Not from a medical or health perspective, and not from a spiritual or psychological perspective! Imagine our poor teenagers whose brains are not even fully developed!!!! We need to beg Hashem for mercy. The teens are using “smart” phones/social media because the adults and Rabbanim are using them!!!! Ad mosai! I know it’s the challenge of our generation,… Read more »
I think you failed to read the first paragraph. This is not THAT article.
Or maybe, like, may be that one can control themselves. As long as you have a phone and the phone doesn’t have you then you’re good. Another thing, I’m speaking as an ex-addict to IG, ex. p*** addict. Filters don’t do anything. Currently my phone is still unfiltered. And guess what? If someone wants to control themselves… Take a step back. If you have an issue with your phone, you’re spending way too much time on it. If you want to control youself, you need to come to a conscious understanding and agreement with yourself – on what you have… Read more »
I removed the app recently and feel like I have a clearer mind! I have in person relationships… Its incredible!
I never got the attraction to IG maybe an an old geezer
I have so much of my own life I don’t need anyone elses
These things are destructive
Me too!
I did the same for about half a year already. It’s made a nice change in my life as I have more time to learn. But I do miss seeing my niece and nephew on IG
I did the same about a year ago!
I do not feel like I am missing out on anything!
I have a much clearer head- I can more easily tune into my inner voice which is the most powerful tool!
Get off the phone and get into your real life that is passing you by each day
Don’t kosherize it in your mind
Very few people can properly control it
It’s usually controls people and the things we see and hear have a powerful effect, going get deep into our senses. Guard what you allow in
Thank you!!!
This article just made me delete Twitter.
Thank you for sharing
All in moderation
Ty for your candid down-to-earth and non-preachy message!
My Achilles heel is Twitter. Can’t bring myself to delete it, but at least, I moved the app icon to a different and further homepage, which has helped considerably. At least it’s not staring me in the face all the time anymore.
SInce no person can control themselves, i in the first place , I CHOOSE NOT TO EVEN download the app and be tested. Bc once we start, it becomes difficult to stop.
Everything you said was realy relatable. So true!!! thank you for sharing.