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Wednesday, 17 Iyyar, 5779
  |  May 22, 2019

    Expert Lays Down Harsh Truth

    The shocking truth: "Chabad houses must be opened with specially trained Shluchim and special programs to attract and specifically heal Yiddishe kids in pain." Video

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    Wow
    Guest
    Wow

    Kol Hakovod! Amazing! Time to get to work!

    Good point
    Guest
    Good point

    He is full of love
    BUT he also believes that love is most important – like is a cohen is dating a goy – to accept him and the goy- against halacha!

    A Shaliach under cover
    Guest
    A Shaliach under cover

    Thank You R’ Avi
    Team Work staying focus on the goal…

    MUST WATCH
    Guest
    MUST WATCH

    the whole thing.

    too late
    Guest
    too late

    Why not get these kids before they start going off the way.
    Maybe we should start in elementary and high schools in training administrations and teachers how to treat students!!!

    Reply to #2
    Guest
    Reply to #2

    He addressed these claims during the talk he said they were totally false

    Reply to #2
    Guest
    Reply to #2

    He insists that every family he helps have their own Rav to pasken for them, so if a Rav paskened for a specific family a certain way, then the halacha is whatever their Rav paskened.

    amazing!
    Guest
    amazing!

    Truly amazing!

    CENTRAL REFERRAL NETWORK- MENTAL HEALTH & ADDICTIONS
    Guest
    CENTRAL REFERRAL NETWORK- MENTAL HEALTH & ADDICTIONS

    There needs to be a mental health and addiction referral network- Shluchim can offer unconditional love and a safe haven for a fresh start…. but the underlying trauma, suicide ideations, addictions all need professional intervention to truly help them….

    Thank you C.O.L. for the video
    Guest
    Thank you C.O.L. for the video

    Amazing !!! Finally some one addressing the problem with in our community, and most of all teaching us how to deal and help emotionally and broken children in our community, אהבת ישראל is easy for a stranger, lets have true אהבת ישראל to our fellow neighber or community member

    To #5
    Guest
    To #5

    That sounds like the interview if the Rebbe with Mayor Lindsay about reducing crime that we need to deter it before it gets worse. But there is also a great need for those who need healing now.

    Conflicting agenda.
    Guest
    Conflicting agenda.

    This is a sensitive topic and few words can be too many. On the one hand the speaker brings a letter of the Rebbe at his aid, on the other hand he lacks in seeing the positive future in the way the Shluchim (every Lubavitcher and Jew) deal with their children. Not to put down the great help that an understanding attitude accomplished, it is certain that parents generally want the best from their children, and their Nachas isn’t limited to their own imagination but however great they may reach. How can one expect a parent that firmly believes in… Read more »

    Baal Teshuva Shluchim
    Guest
    Baal Teshuva Shluchim

    For that you need to send out more Baal Teshuva Shluchim. They are more in touch with what the average person goes thru. They have not had sheltered frum from birth life in Crown Heights. Please considerate it – send out Baal Teshuvas!

    Moishe Feiglin
    Guest
    Moishe Feiglin

    I personally referred countless families of anash as well as shluchim to Avi. Those who were able to follow his program had amazing results. His ideas seem revolutionary but it’s all included in Perek 32 of Tanya. We have applied many of his ideas at Aliya and they only make our shlichus work more effective and seamless. It’s really just genuine unconditional love that our young people are so sorely in need of and we have the ability to give it to them if we just know how to do it. Since Avi spoke at the kinus I have been… Read more »

    :)
    Guest
    :)

    Wow look who is knocking on the doors of Chabad for our teachings
    This is a sign of MOSHIACH!!

    who is this speaker
    Guest
    who is this speaker

    what is the name of this speaker?

    Where
    Guest
    Where

    Would love to volunteer and work with these kids? I live in Crown Heights. Where can I apply to try to help out?

    Beautiful!
    Guest
    Beautiful!

    Thank you COLLIVE for posting. As a teacher in a lubavitch school, I have benefited from Avis message of how to approach and re-approach our talmidim. They really need a lot of love. As the saying goes: “The child who needs love the most will often ask for it in the most un-loving of ways.”

    to #5
    Guest
    to #5

    I personally have spoken to several junior high principals, to attend Avi’s training course…. unfortunately, they don’t want to go 🙁
    even though Avi deals with extreme cases, his approach of teaching what NOT to do with kids who are acting up can surely benefit EVERY teacher and principal.
    time to wake up and smell the coffee! junior high is the time to nip it in the bud, instead of letting negative behavior to escalate into….

    Hi everyone
    Guest
    Hi everyone

    Wow look who is knocking on the doors of Chabad for our teachings
    This is a sign of MOSHIACH!!

    Reply to #16
    Guest
    Reply to #16

    His name is Avi Fishoff. He has helped to save children of frum yidden in many frim communitiies.
    He is like a malach (angel). He has figured out how to help like no other.
    If any parent in any frum community has a child that is kicked out school, no longer shomer shabbos, smoking pot, etc. You need to meet with him.

    Stop knocking schools
    Guest
    Stop knocking schools

    I didn’t listen but it really tires me to see comments of how ppl point the finger to our very hard-working and caring schools who are forced to deal with many difficult situations. To make it seem that they are at fault is not right. We are living in difficult times where society, the media , and parents are also partners in creating these difficult situations. The schools are trying. Parents are trying. But we’re in a difficult golus.

    Great admirer of Avi Fishoff
    Guest
    Great admirer of Avi Fishoff

    Avi has tremendous respect for the rebbe and Lubavitch and is a true freind as one of us .I strongly suggest signing up for his whats app clips or e mails by sending a request to 718-902-6666 or twistedparenting@aol.com thanks to col for posting the video and educating us on such an important critical topic
    Or e mail him at twistedparenting@aol.com

    finally they are waking up
    Guest
    finally they are waking up

    YOU KNOW MOSHIACH IS ON HIS WAY WHEN MISNGDIM COME TO BEG LUBAVITCH FOR HELP

    To all
    Guest
    To all

    He has zero credentials and people should know that. He is nothing more than a person preaching love. But love is not always whats needed and he has a poor successful rate.

    project heart
    Guest
    project heart

    Rabbi benny zippel in utah is a shliach and has been dealing with hundreds upon hundreds of troubled teens sent to utah for the last 25 years. he’s one shliach who definitely doesn’t need any training in this area. he has helped kids and their parents before the kids get sent to utah, while they are there, and after they leave. his mesiras nefesh in taking care of these kids from all walks of judaism and from every corner of the globe is unbelievable. kol hakovod rav zippel and thank you for taking care of our precious neshomos

    24 nu so will you help them
    Guest
    24 nu so will you help them

    People need help, so help! This is not about winning points in a game

    #26
    Guest
    #26

    Right on point. Rabbi Zippel is exceptional and also gives advise to other shluchim in this sensitive and critical area.

    To #25
    Guest
    To #25

    1)  Can you point/direct parents who are facing  this devastating tragedy to another person/organization who has a better proven success rate in SAVING these youth?   The fact is that Avi deals with situations that all others have totally written off / given up on these children.  no other frum organization come even remotely close to the success rate that Avi has.

    2) If you are going to knock someone who is doing life saving work – הצלת נפשות ממש – at least have the dignity of writing your name.

    extemley important
    Guest
    extemley important

    shluchim must get knowledge and understanding in the area of addictions. so many people are suffering. shluchim must be very sensitive to those people and refer them to the right professionals. unfortunately, lots of damage have been done as a result of lack of knowledge in this field.

    Not just chabad house! But the Lubavitch school system
    Guest
    Not just chabad house! But the Lubavitch school system
    9th grade girl
    Guest
    9th grade girl

    as a girl with many problems and struggles, this would be amazing for me to get help.

    high school girl
    Guest
    high school girl

    this is AMAZING!

    we also need to have zero tolerance for dealers and molesters
    Guest
    we also need to have zero tolerance for dealers and molesters

    time that rabbis confront some of those people hanging out in chabad houses

    Not about Avi or Chabad
    Guest
    Not about Avi or Chabad

    There is a problem.
    All frum Yidden have the problem.
    There are ideas of how to fix the problem.
    Learn hechaltzu to be able to accept good ideas.
    Apply the ideas.
    Fix the problem.

    #24
    Guest
    #24

    just so you know, I almost threw up with your naresh comment!

    That said I also know for a fact Avi is the real deal, and a friend of Chabad. Grateful to Colive for posting this VERY informative issue.

    To #25
    Guest
    To #25

    You mention Avi has a poor success rate he brought back over a 100 kids in pain to Yiddishkiet between starting Home sweet home and taking in homeless kids in pain off the street and getting them a job and getting them cleaned up to almost all of them coming back to Yiddishkiet and those that’s didn’t weren’t angry at Yiddishkiet as they where before if I may ask what’s your success rate ? You mention Avi has no experience he started 15 year ago and now guides 300 people under his care in the toughest cases of I may… Read more »

    TO 37
    Guest
    TO 37

    I have watched his clips and spoken to numerous parents who went to his family therapy sessions

    He has failed many times with his approach

    The rebbe always said go to a רופא ידיד or a rov with semicha and Shimush

    We must not promote people who claim to have a path like people claimed the kol of the shofar was a cure all

    Go to people trained and schooled and licensed

    I hope u post this important point

    To # 37
    Guest
    To # 37

    How dare you compare Avi to call of the shofar are you serious ?? !! Did you even watch the clip he states clearly that no one can be under his care without a hand written letter from a rov that can pasken Shalias evrey step of the way really ??what is your expertise I went to a well known rov in lubavitch who has smicha and shimush and gave me a handwritten letter and avi has helped me bring my kid in pain closer yiddishkeit and countless other Lubavitchers and Yidden from all backgrounds with kids in pain you… Read more »

    long long rant
    Guest
    long long rant

    I’m a shlucha and listening to this speech, it sounds condescending When it comes to our own children, we have to work on ourselves the hardest. Calling us “tzadikim” and talking about our “training” doesnt make it less heart wrenching and difficult when its our own child. Oh so often you can be the perfect parent, negate your entire ego, and be perfect, and it will exaclty be the shliach in India in 10 years who will help your child and that’s whats so amazing. There is a shliach in india for jews. I’m not sure whats wrong with the… Read more »

    yasher koach for sharing
    Guest
    yasher koach for sharing

    Thank you for posting. So important! !!

    Thank u avi
    Guest
    Thank u avi

    Thank u Avi for having the guts to address this topic. We so badly need more people given over to this

    CENTRAL REFERRAL NETWORK MENTAL HEALTH AND ADDICTIONS
    Guest
    CENTRAL REFERRAL NETWORK MENTAL HEALTH AND ADDICTIONS

    There needs to be a mental health and addiction referral network- Shluchim can offer unconditional love and a safe haven for a fresh start…. but the underlying trauma, suicide ideations, addictions all need professional intervention to truly help them….

    He is from Hasidic roots
    Guest
    He is from Hasidic roots

    To Comment 24 –

    Avi is not a Misnaged. I think his father is a Gerrer Hasid. Just because someone learned in a Litvishe yeshiva, doesn’t mean he is a real Litvak (Misnagdic roots). Plenty of Chasidim have gone and still go to Litvishe (Snag) yeshivas.

    Baal Teshuva Shluchim
    Guest
    Baal Teshuva Shluchim

    For that you need to send out more Baal Teshuva Shluchim. They are more in touch with what the average person goes thru. They have not had sheltered frum from birth life in Crown Heights. Please considerate it – send out Baal Teshuvas!

    To #43
    Guest
    To #43

    While the kids are still home, the greatest healers of the addictions are the parents, because the root of all addictions is pain and or shame/feeling of unworthiness. Avi’s mehalech is totally focused on healing that deep pain and shame through total acceptance of the child, warts and all, and giving the child love in the way that they perceive love – revealed love. This has been proven time and time again to reverse the addictions, suicidal thoughts, mental illnesses and whatnot of these children. The parents themselves will attest to it!!! (often therapy will deal with the symptoms, and… Read more »

    Yasher Koach Avi!
    Guest
    Yasher Koach Avi!

    Your success rate speaks for itself! Keep up the great work!

    It’s amazing how
    Guest
    It’s amazing how

    It’s amazing how whenever there’s a program that actually helps the youth or adults or anybody, There are people that will fight tooth and nail to destroy them. If this guy is doing something right and he has so many success stories why can’t we just leave good enough alone. Why can we let him do good work. Is it because it brings up in us that we aren’t doing any good work for this cause? People that yell and scream quickly before they really understand how much God is done in the world are the most unhealthy people around… Read more »

    To #40
    Guest
    To #40

    At Chabad we don’t do kiruv! At Chabad we do ahavat Israel!! This is where the different is. Some time we do forget! We are not looking to make people frum! We are bringing out the soul of our follow jew and connect to it. The Rebbe teachings and 10 mivtsoim are all about what best can I give my follow jew! I love him so much for who he is that I want to show him the best way of life. I want to show my dear freind that he has a soul and that he can trust her… Read more »

    There are
    Guest
    There are

    Hundreds of licensed Mental Health practitioners who are very good. Many Chabad and Many Frum. Please go to a person with some schooling …

    Would u go to a rov with no Torah?

    Replt to #50. Been there done that
    Guest
    Replt to #50. Been there done that

    Many of us have tried not one, not two but 3 4 5 or more therapists, counselors and psychiatrists. Frum ones. Chabad ones. Are they using non jewish methodologies they learned in non jewish colleges? When that doesn’t work then what? Why did we need to create Hatzala and Shomrim when we gave NYC EMT and police? If you know anyone with a child thst is “OTD” and the method of using traditional therapist is not working … then tell them to call Avi Fishoff. He has saved more jewish lives in this area than anyone else. He will talk… Read more »

    MASK
    Guest
    MASK

    Call MASK’s helpline 718- 758- 0400 !!
    MASK is a referral agency, that guides people from all over the world (with mental health, addictions and many other issues) and directs them to the right therapists.
    As a former intern, I witnessed how they helped thousands of people- worth getting in touch..

    The Rebbe
    Guest
    The Rebbe

    The main thing dear fellow chassidim is we should continue be to have syaato dishmayo, say our kinderlachs kapitalech and beg the world’s Rebbe – our Rebbe, the Nosi Hador, the Moshe Rabbenun of this generation who is constantly crying to the Aibishter on our behalf….the Rebbe sees everything going on…let us beg the Rebbe for rachmonus. Let us hope that the Rebbes havtocha “The chinuch is oif mein pleytzus” remains strong. Yidden hold on tight ut ut kumt moshiach!
    Gut Shabbos, let us say lechaim for our children.

    to #53
    Guest
    to #53

    Yes, true, and more than that, the Rebbe said that the last avoda is to make this world a dirah b’tachtonim through physical action. No longer is it enough to rely on spiritual means – the most important avoda takes place in the world of asiya though action: through actively revealing the light in the lowest of low, in every last corner of the universe. And this is what Avi is doing. Kol Hakavod!

    To 54
    Guest
    To 54

    Not negating what Avi is doing…. In our Chabad house far away we have all sorts of young men and woman stopping by. Some who have already been married vechulu…. sometimes we get so taken up with the world of asiya that we forget the real world which is an oilam horuchny….a living Rebbe who is watching us close…..so let’s not forget the oilom horuchni ( the real world).

    Very Extreme
    Guest
    Very Extreme

    To #38 & 40 In normal situations, when there are ‘issues’, one would go to therapists and professionals.   Sadly, in some cases, after consulting with the very best professionals, and following their advice, not only does the situation not improve,  or even stabilize, but it actuality gets worse.  And the more you follow the professional guidance – the worse it gets.  – yet the advice and guidance given remains the same.  In these extreme cases, why would one continue following advice that is actually making the situation worse?  You tried it over and over – yet it failed! Avi… Read more »

    what is success?
    Guest
    what is success?

    getting someone to keep his beard untrimmed? No, sometimes just keeping someone alive is success.

    Son of a shliach
    Guest
    Son of a shliach

    This videos incredible! I could not agree more! There are a lot of amazing, chaddishe, totally selfless Shluchim who can deal very well with so many problems. But when it comes to their own kids, they are not sure how to deal with these issues as there is a lot of (personal) emotion involved. I think that if this was discussed between Shluchim in open, they can really gain a lot In learning how to deal with their own kids….

    Home Sweet Home Volunteer
    Guest
    Home Sweet Home Volunteer

    I had the zchus to be a volunteer for Avi’s Home sweet home program since the first day he opened . The work Avi does / did is incredible .We were dealing with kids that were nebech lost and they just needed a place to stay , work , and get total love … the program kept on growing and nebech the kids were getting younger and younger . When it started it was 18 year old’s going , and then 15 year old’s …Kol hakavod to Avi and he stated educating the parents …. I personaly did not grow… Read more »

    Chabad, be like Chabad!
    Guest
    Chabad, be like Chabad!

    Some have remarked how a non chabad person is admiring chabad teachings. The problem is that many in CH are using ‘snag’ approaches against fellow Jews!

    From a parent in pain with a kid in pain
    Guest
    From a parent in pain with a kid in pain

    I want to thank col for posting the Kinus Hashluchim session of Avi Fishoff there are almost 8,000 hits on you tube within a few days ! Please keep on passing it around it’s so important for as many people to watch it as possibly and also please internilize his message if you see a kid in pain share with him or her a kind word don’t rebuke them or tell them what to do yiddishkiet wise they went to Yeshivah they know our system be mekavev with a kind word one negative comment from a friend or family member… Read more »

    Very Important
    Guest
    Very Important

    As someone who has gone through the lubavitch system and spoken to many individuals still in the system, I completely agree with his methods. I think lubavitch preaches acceptance and love of every jew; but when it comes to their own children, the standard is too high and they expect too much. Accept them for who they are first, accept that not everyone is on the same level – even if they did grow up in a fully chassidish home. Accept and love them first and then try to influence them to do better. Don’t degrade them and tell them… Read more »

    hamaaseh hu haikar
    Guest
    hamaaseh hu haikar

    How can we get involved??

    Orthodoxy/religion is not for everyone.
    Guest
    Orthodoxy/religion is not for everyone.

    As someone who grew up a chabd and went through the Chabad system. And this no longer religious, The system scairs people from leaving to the outside world, by telling us that if we leave we will become drug addicts and have nothing, etc. No matter how hard Parents try to raise their kids to grow up the way they want them too, religion and Orthodoxy is not for everyone. The reason lots of kids turn to drugs, and hang out with bad crowds of people, it’s because that’s what they were taught was going to happen if they leave.… Read more »

    Still frum, not in the system anymore
    Guest
    Still frum, not in the system anymore

    As a son of shluchim, I was constantly being put down and treated worse than garbage for wearing jeans or colorful shirts or not getting my haircut short enough. Just like everyone else who left the system, without education I fell into a negative cycle in the ch drug scene, because atleast there I was accepted for me. It took me a long time to find my place, a healthy place in the world. After moving to a modern orthodox traditional community, seeing that trimming my beard, wearing something other than black and white won’t warrant me getting verbally or… Read more »

    Been there.....
    Guest
    Been there.....

    Live in an out-of-town community and we are one of 2 Chabad families who live here and have been here for over 3 decades. When 2 of my children had off-the derech problems many years ago, the schluchim did nothing to help!! BH, both are now married and have beautiful frum kinderlach!! We had to go outside of Chabad to get help!!

    Eye opening
    Guest
    Eye opening

    It’s a shame the sirens have to ring before we react.

    But now that we know we need to respond.

    Kol hakavod to all who are involved ending and more important preventing suffering.

    It hurts me to know that others are suffering, especially our children.

    To 66
    Guest
    To 66

    I don’t know you or your situation. May I gently propose that the shluchim (like me) did not and don’t know (like most in the furm world) what to do about children like yours (and mine!). Perhaps they and me are not uncaring. Just struck down by the situation while we, a) bleed our hearts out b) get burned by certain (not all) professionals c) and don’t know where to turn anymore. And that is why I plan to pursue what Avi is teaching. Going “outside Chabad” is an irrelevant point. I have too. (But see my point b)). Someone… Read more »

    to 45
    Guest
    to 45

    Please check your facts.
    How many hundreds of the shluchim posing in the annual picture are Baalei Teshuva. Some have been on shlichus for many decades too. Please refrain from fabricating non-issues in the midst of a most real subject matter.

    To every nay sayer and negativist
    Guest
    To every nay sayer and negativist

    The fact that this 80 minute! video has in 10 days more than TEN THOUSAND views means:
    a) Thousands are getting something very positive from it.
    b) Even more thousands can’t find this elsewhere!
    Don’t highlight minutia; do something good yourself!
    Unless blaming is your only pleasure in life, in which case perhaps even Avi Fishof can’t help you.

    Oh, and a most “minor” point:
    HE DOES THIS ALL FOR FREEEEE!
    Is it just possible that this is A REAL LESHAIM SHAMAYIM INDIVIDUAL?

    Positive works
    Guest
    Positive works

    When my friend’s son got kicked out of yeshiva, I made phone calls to try to find an appropriate place for him. In the end it didn’t work out , but the kid who knew i was trying to help used to call me and talk to me as a friend. He went OTD but found a chabad house that took him in and let him live there. And he worked for the shliach. He came back and when he married a frum girl, I flew out of town for the wedding. I never usually do that. But because I… Read more »

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