By Shmully Goldberg
[email protected]
The following story is fictional, but the point is very real:
It’s 3:30 pm, the bell rings. All the children in the hall are running to
get out. It’s the end of the school year and summer holidays are about to begin.
Waiting outside, all the children are eager to get home. One boy is waiting quietly for his father to pick him up. Slowly all his friends leave.
A strange man approaches the young boy.
“Hey Shmuli! Your father is stuck at work, so he asked me to pick you up.”
Young Shmuli stares the man up and down, he looks at his white shirt, his black pants, and of course, that black yarmulke on his head.
Now, Shmuli’s parents had spoken to him about talking to strangers. But this man wasn’t a “stranger,” he was a Yid, and he knew Shmuli’s name!
After little thought, Shmuli picks up his school bag and walks off with the man.
As adults, we constantly try and reinforce the “stranger danger” talks with our children, but is it all talk? Do we do anything about it?
The above story is fictional but it might as well be true. Klal yisroel has unfortunately dealt recently with a lot concerning this issue.
Many children’s perception of Yidden is sadly the same as a police officer (not Chas vesholom to think that this can’t happen as well). They perceive a Jew as “someone you can trust.” A young child reasons that its against the Torah to lie, or chas vesholom hurt someone, so this person must be safe!
After reading the story, you may all ask, but how did the strange man know Shmuli’s name? Was he a regular at the same shul? Maybe he met Shmuli’s family at the local pizza store? The answer to this question is very simple: Shmuli’s yarmulka had his name on it.
Remember, predators can read Hebrew too…
Just because there is a thing called “Facebook,” in the world, and it’s popular, absolutely does not mean that we are required to be like little slaves and go on it, AND post our own photos on it, as well as the photos of our family members! What ever happened to common sense????? Have we gotten so open-minded to the pop culture that our brains have fallen out? Life was complete, full, and meaningful before Facebook; it is NOT a required part of life! I personally do not use it, because I don’t have the time! In fact, I rarely… Read more »
Instead of having the child’s name printed on the yarmulka just write YECHI… Melech Hamosihiach Lolem Vaed.
it not only in yarmulke. it on backpack too. i see even phone # and address
other side i speak with one guy in rehovot, that use same trick to call students leaniah tfilin. usual name on backpack.
p.s. it’s like trend in CH, but lot of my friends, that have kids, wearing his son old yarmulke sure with son name.
Name on clothing is too common to try to prevent. Action needs to come from a dif. angle.
Names appear everywhere. Fearing what could come of this is pointless. We have to use other defenses, other preventatives.
these r the superficial dangers- talk to ur kid, avoid tv and facebook which are far more dangerous and dont make your kid paranoid.
Well if someone tried that on my kid—he would say—“yechi adoneinu moreinu vrabeinu melech hamoshiach leolam voed, your father cant make it he wants me to pick you up” and my son would be very suspicious
who would let their child wait outside alone? that is incredibly stupid
Of course the tragedy of Leiby is terrible beyond any parent’s worst nightmare. But before that, when was the last time anything remotely similar happened? Let’s not overly frighten our children. As for predators and abusers, most of the events on the various sites are pertaining to people that the child knows and trusts, not strangers.
Keep these kinds of articles coming just to keep us all aware and alert!
Is that your reaction? You don’t see the difference? It’s exactly people like you who have to read this to get guidance how to protect their children because they can’t make a distinction between dangers to little kids versus older bar mitzvah boys.
I sincerely hope you read this comment. You brig up an excellent point that involves danger and yarmulkas. I suggest that only putting the LETTER is better.
However, besides for that point, I think you need to elaborate more on what you wrote. You wrote beautifully but just not enough!
Shkoich!
A friend
they have kippahs with their initial on it
personally i think they are cuter, nothing to do with safety reasons
predators cant call you by your initial
CV – I was thinking of your story when I read this!! I’m sticking to the initial letter on my boys’ yarmulkas!
I also had an incident with my son, in 770, where some older guy kept talking to him and my husband finally called him away. But somehow my son thought we knew him…you can’t be too careful in this dangwrous world.
*Knew
wear a yechi yamulka
little boys don’t have tefillin. Hopefully, by the time they’re (almost) 13, they’re aware of this issue.
And I also hope you teach your kids never to open the door to anyone they don’t know when they’re home alone…
if you want your child;s name to be on his yarmulka, you can still write just the first letter. i saw some boys wearing them and theyre really nice…
Its not about the Yarmulka. there are a million ways a predator can fin the name. What if someone stalkes you on Facebook and gets to recognize a pic of your kid, then approches them. Your kids should know NOT TO TALK TO ANYONE THEY DONT KNOW. PERIOD. NO MATTER HOW HOLY THEY LOOK.
a girl had a yarmulke with her name on?
What’s next? Not have names on Tefillin bags? take off the family name from the door bell?
tnx for writing this
Why would any parent invite such horrors?! Please be extra careful as summer approaches. In G-D we trust!
VERY SCARY AND IT HAPPEN JUST COUPLE WEEKS AGO IN FLATBUSH, A STRANGER/KIDNAPPER APPROACHED A YOUNG GIRL AS IT WAS POSTED…
I want to share a real life version of this op-ed. I have two boys, KAH. They are 11 months apart, and little, and I guess the little girl in me that never grew up, loves to dress them up just so, and matching them is a personal enjoyment. As such they do command attention when they walk into a room. After the Leiby Kletzky A”H story, a friend pointed out to me, that unfortunately there are frum people who do bad things, and read personalizations the same way they can read anything else. Truth be told, I forgot about… Read more »
i think you need to calm down, i dont think it s so bad to have a name on a yamalka kids shuld know not to talk to anyome even if the person know’s there name.
I never had my child’s name on his backpack in ENGLISH because of predators, never had any worries about the hebrew name on his yarmulka. never really thought about it..
thanks for sharing this
never though about that before, the kipa being the give away of a childs name. makes me think twice before putting my childs name on a kipah