Chaya Abelsky Went From Wall Street to Life Coaching

By Esther Rodal – COLlive Magazine

Chaya Abelsky is a people person.

I don’t just mean that she’s friendly, warm and a good listener, although maybe she is that too. What I mean is that she loves people. Her awe for each person’s infinite G-d given potential shines through in every of her work; as principal of Infiniti Coaching and Coach Training, senior campaign manager at Charidy.com, and in her dedication to Chabad Moldova.

From Wall Street to nonprofits

Abelsky’s journey to self-actualization began as one of nine children growing up in the Crown Heights section of Brooklyn. “My parents treated each of us as if we were the only child,” says Abelsky.

“They saw my talent for math and science and guided me into studying computer programming. I began my career on Wall Street and it gave me a deep understanding of the corporate world.

“And with a growing family, I wondered if I needed a new direction. That same day on my way home, I encountered an acquaintance on the train to Crown Heights who told me about an opening in the nonprofit space.

I instantly recognized Hashem’s hand at work! I began work on the technology side of a non-profit which provided me with an insight into how that space operates. After some time, I realized I preferred people to technology. With this new awareness, I went back to school to learn coaching at NYU. Studying as an adult is a totally different experience to being fresh out of school and I got to interact and ask a lot of questions which was incredibly rewarding.”

After qualifying as an executive and personal coach, Abelsky was often asked about coaching by people she encountered. So, together with a colleague at Brooklyn College, she created a coaching course to help others create their own careers.

Among her 180 coaching graduates, Abelsky is famous for saying “Awareness is the number one thing we owe in life”. She often leans into this approach when guiding leaders of nonprofits as they embark on multi-million dollar peer-to-peer fundraising campaigns with crowdfunding platform Charidy.com.

“Awareness is asking what’s working, what’s not working, and where do I want to go?” Abelsky asks a lot of questions, and this speaks to her belief that we each contain infinite wisdom within
that just needs to be prodded out. “When it comes to our purpose, we are the experts. We already have the solutions within. All we need is reflection, awareness, and then a clear roadmap to achieve our goals.”

Chabad Moldova
Abelsky’s involvement with Chabad Moldova is inspired by her late father in law Rabbi Zalman Abelsky zt”l.

“My parents-in-law devoted 26 years to rehabilitating and nurturing the remnants of the Jewish community in Moldova after decades of Soviet suppression and it was imperative to keep building on their legacy after their passing. My husband and I embarked on a mission to listen to the needs of Europe’s poorest Jewish community and help them transition to a new era after the loss of Rabbi Abelsky. It’s been my great privilege to help ensure the continuity of his work by bringing out four young couples as shluchim there and injecting new vitality into this special community. When the Russia-Ukraine War closed the airspace, Chabad Moldova was suddenly center-stage and the structure we helped put in place became vital to helping thousands of Jewish refugees.”

Living your purpose

Caring for a large family while juggling multiple careers can be exhausting and Abelsky is blessed with boundless energy as she takes on ever greater goals and milestones. She says she draws
inspiration from her brother Rabbi Hirshy Minkowicz, whose wife Rashi passed away in 2014 at the age of 37, leaving behind eight children.

“My brother followed the advice of the Lubavitcher Rebbe to move forward after loss with more joy and more growth by building the beautiful Rashi Campus, Chabad’s home in North Fulton, GA where he is the shliach. As a director of a nonprofit, he needs endless reserves of energy to fund, manage, and grow his ever expanding Chabad House.

In a conversation with a fellow shliach, he shared the secret of his success: ‘I wake up every morning remembering why I am here; to do my part in fulfilling the Rebbe’s vision.’ Being constantly aware of my purpose is something that drives me to make every day count.”

Abelsky sees her journey from working as a programmer to fulfilling her passion as a coach as an example that anyone can emulate if they think deeply about themselves and the purpose they are
meant to achieve. “My story is your story,” says Abelsky. “Anyone and everyone can live each day paying attention to G-d’s hand in their own journey, and using the talents they have been given to impact the world around them. Talents can only take you so far. They have to be worked on to become strengths. But your weaknesses can also be turned into strengths, and when that happens, you can transform the gift of your life into your gift back to Hashem. This process takes two things: awareness and reflection. It means stopping for a moment, pausing and being fully present in the realization that I have one life to live, and I want to make it count!”

Infiniti Coach Training
This approach to self-growth forms the basis for much of Abelsky’s coaching philosophy which she teaches to aspiring coaches at her coaching academy called Infiniti Coach Training. “Whether they want to become personal or executive coaches or they are leaders who want to bring out the best in their schools and communities, they begin the journey to helping others by helping
themselves first. A math teacher doesn’t have to be a triangle, but a coach must embody self-growth.

As our slogan goes, ‘Nobody leaves unchanged’.”

Infiniti Coach Training’s 22nd cohort is now open for registration. Its International Coach Federation (ICF) approved training program brings a scientific approach to unlocking personal excellence. It was created and is facilitated by Abelsky in association with Dr Jay McNaught and is based on a similar program from Columbia University.

The underlying principle of the program is the concept that every person is whole and resourceful and has the answers to challenges within themselves. This allows one to make changes in one’s life by asking deep questions that bring out answers that are already innately within.

Specifically, the course teaches conversational intelligence, emotional intelligence and decision-making intelligence. “Conversations are everything because words are powerful; they create worlds. We teach how to have effective conversations,” Abelsky explains. “Additionally, we find that emotional intelligence often leads to success far more than a high IQ so we help our clients develop that part of themselves. And decisio nmaking intelligence develops our ability to make better life decisions, something everybody can benefit from.”

In all, 180 coaches have graduated from the ICT, propelled by Abelsky’s genuine love of all people and her belief in their infinite potential.

“Every person should be able to know the reason that they were born, and the unique talents and skills that they bring to the world,” says Abelsky. “If you want to wake up each morning alive with purpose, start with awareness and reflection about what you’re here for. Begin your journey to discovering your infinity.”