Breaking the Cycle of Breaking the Rambam Learning Cycle

By Fitz Rabin

It was the summer of 5766, and I was on staff at Camp Gan Yisroel of Detroit. That summer included a Siyum Harambam, and I was asked to write a song to honor the occasion. Having a knack for songwriting, I obliged. The process started with a long and involved Farbrengens, in which the staff hammered out what the theme of the song should be. Should it focus on the reasons the Rebbe gave us for the Takkana of Rambam, such as Achdus Yisroel through Torah? Or should it focus on the quality of Hiskashrus, which is strengthened by fulfilling the Rebbes Takkana regardless of the rationale provided?

In the end, the song included both.

But what most people don’t know is that I felt a lot of sadness writing the song. Why? Because as much as I wanted to, I could not manage to learn Rambam consistently and successfully. I felt ashamed and frustrated. My heart was in the right place, but something was just not working.

This coming Shabbos, Klal Yisroel will begin the 45th cycle of learning Rambam in accordance with the Rebbe’s initiative to learn daily Rambam and complete it in a Year. The start of a new cycle signifies renewal, and it brings inspiration, invigoration, and a renewed sense of motivation to commit. This can be especially meaningful for people who have not been successful in following through with their commitment to learning daily Rambam in the past.

With hopes high in the beginning, they rush headlong into the new cycle, sincerely believing that this time will be different. But then, sooner or later, the consistency falters. At first, it’s just a day that’s missed, maybe two. The catch-up is manageable. But then, with more time, the gaps become bigger, the catch-up – overwhelming, and the only cycle that actually gets completed is the old, familiar one of shameful incompletion and inadequacy.

As I said, I am all too familiar with this pattern. From my experience as a professional Coach, I know that it affects many people. When it comes to goal achievement—spiritual or material—the breakdown in consistency is a most common pitfall.

Can you relate to this? Have you been disappointed or ashamed of your failed attempts to commit to something and then stick with it? Does it feel like Deja Vu or “same old”? Would you like this time to be different in a meaningful way?

As we stand on the threshold of a new machzor, I would like to share some ideas and tips that have worked for me and for others who have tried them.

1. Consistency is a practice in its own right.

Unlike most skills, the word “consistency” evokes an association of “always”. For this reason, people don’t typically think you can practice consistency. It’s either “always,” or it’s “not always”. You are either consistent or not. It’s a quality that you either “have” or “don’t have.”

In truth, however, consistency is something that you can cultivate through practicing it. Just like when you practice shooting hoops, hitting a high note, or improving your art, you understand that you will hit some and miss some, and it’s all ok because as you continue to practice, you get better at it over the long term. So too with consistency. You can do something for three days in a row and that can be a form of practicing consistency even though you then did not do it for some time. If you continue to come back to practicing – you will get better at it over time.

This mental shift is crucial. Instead of approaching the question of consistency as an absolute, approach it as a muscle to develop through doing reps and sets.

Which brings me to the next point.

2. Break it down into reps and sets.

One of the biggest traps that can undermine your success with Rambam is thinking of the entire year-long cycle as one unit. Most people’s willpower is not strong enough to last a full year. Sometimes, it can feel good to believe that we have that much willpower, but experience shows that it doesn’t work most of the time.

To cultivate the quality of consistency, choose a set timeframe that you will use as your “set.” Choose a time frame that is longer than what is convenient but not a huge stretch either.

For some people, that can be one week. For others, it is a month. For others,180 days.

Identify the time frame that feels right for you and then go all in on practicing your consistency for that “set”. Each day within that “set” is your “rep.” One day = 1 rep inside of the set that you have chosen for yourself.

This actually accomplishes two things: First, it evaporates the pressure of the year-long block, which usually overwhelms the mind and the nervous system and instead localizes your attention and your efforts to a much more doable time frame.

Second, when that time frame is complete, you get to choose again.

Which leads me to the third idea:

3. Choose again.

When your “set” is complete, choose again. You might choose the same one again, or something shorter or something longer.

No matter what, every time you actively choose again to practice consistency – you strengthen your capacity for consistency, and your felt identity as a consistent person strengthens too.

You might even choose not to continue with the same level of intention to practice consistency. This, too, strengthens your capacity to make choices and keep to them.

Since I began approaching consistency as a practice, broke it down into reps, and chose again, I have actually learned my Shiurim every single day for almost four years now. That was not my plan at the beginning. As a matter of fact, I did not know what I would choose once my first block was completed. However, it turns out that each time my block was complete – I chose to repeat the same block again.

What’s more is that, during all this time, I did in fact miss the Shkiah 5 or 6 times due to an oversight or a mistake and it did not phase me at all since I knew that I was practicing and practice typically including some missing. It’s not a big deal. You come back to the court and keep practicing. When you think of it as “practice,” there is less shame in your failure. You simply keep practicing.

Lastly, on a very practical note.

Find a Rambam that you LOVE. Shop around. Which Rambam feels REALLY good for you to use?

Often, people overlook this. But when you are using a Rambam that you don’t actually love, you are expending more willpower per daily lesson, which makes you more vulnerable to getting off the court.

The print matters. The size matters. The layout matters. The cover matters. The App matters.

Do yourself a favor and treat yourself to shopping around and experimenting with lots of different options.

When you know that you love your Rambam – it creates more connection with it and more ease and excitement.

In conclusion, the Siyum HaRambam is an exciting time and a new cycle always infuses us with new excitement.

However, fantastically believing that because you feel excited, therefore this time will be different is a recipe for failure.

Instead, embrace consistency as a practice, choose a doable block to practice in with a beginning and end, and then choose again.

This recipe has worked for me, and it might work for you too.

Oh! And here is the Rambam song I wrote:

Fitz Rabin, LMSW, is a life and leadership Coach who helps men connect with their dreams and potential and empowers them to create what they most want personally and professionally. He can be reached at [email protected]