By ‘I Was There’ (name withheld upon request)
Last night, I was part of a group of bochurim at LaGuardia Airport, waiting for a flight to Miami for a friend’s wedding. Knowing our flight was delayed 2 hours, one of us brought along the UNO Card Game, so we’d be able to pass some of the time with a fun game (yes, even Eltere Bochurim like to have fun sometimes and can do it without being glued to our phones).
As we were sitting and playing on the airport floor, we noticed a fellow Yid videoing us. It seemed he was doing it simply for fun, but nevertheless, just to cover our bases, one of us called him out on it, and said: “you’re welcome to join us, but please don’t post on social media.” The man smiled and said, “It’s going straight to COL!”
We didn’t think he was serious for a second. After all, why wouldn’t someone be respectful of someone else’s explicit request, especially understanding the ramifications of such an action?
As it turns out, we were wrong. Within minutes, each of our cellphones was flooding with links to an Instagram post with a video of us playing. The caption read: “Yeshiva bochurim stuck at Laguardia Airport making the best of their delays, keeping their spirits up with learning and a game of cards.”
Now, before I continue, I have three questions to the man who took the video: a) what business do you have videoing other people? b) even if you did, when you get a clear request not to post on social media, why do you go ahead and do so? c) even if you’re already posting, why do you caption the video in a misleading manner? Why not just add the word “UNO”? And if you didn’t know it was UNO, just leave out the whole “cards” thing. But of course, it’s social media. And it’s 2018. Questions as these don’t exist in our world.
Naturally, with such a misleading quote as “a game of cards,” the calls and texts began coming in: “Poker?” “Blackjack?” Rachmana Litzlan! Now it was on us to begin “farentfering” for ourselves: “It was just a game of UNO,” “just trying to have a little fun by ourselves” etc. etc.
But of course, it’s social media. Where news travels faster than light. The damage is already done. We are the underdogs. After all, how many people who received the link would receive the explanation?
Boruch Hashem, the video was taken down from Instagram and hopefully, nothing more will become of this episode.
But I have learned two valuable lessons:
1. My every move is potentially being watched, many times by insensitive people. I’ll be more careful with the way I act in public, and I’ll be more sensitive in my treatment of others in this area.
2. Social media (especially when it’s just for fun with no purpose), is killing us as humans from the inside. It’s eating away at our innate moral compass. I don’t blame this man. His actions are just a product of the warped norms of society today. I now see ever more reason to avoid all these apps unless completely necessary.
I wish everyone an easy fast, and encourage all to take on good Hachlatos increasing Ahavas Chinam, thereby breaking the cause of this golus. With our combined actions, we will speedily merit the time when we will no longer have to fast, with the coming of Moshiach now!
The problem I see here is people are always thinking what other people are saying about them.in public or in private as a religious Jew and a normal human bing You have to behave a certain way before Instagram existed and after Instagram existed sounds like you have a chip on your shoulder who cares what people think if you are doing the right thing.those that want to twist stories will twist stories those that are always judgemental will always be judgmental no matter how many times we say or tell people that what you see is not nesserily what… Read more »
I think this young man expressed himself very politely, both to the man who took the photo and here, in this col post. I personally agree with his point, that one should respect the request of someone asking NOT to be posted on social media. And his point about social media having negative net impact on our lives.
I have other videos of those boys, which I will not post because I was asked not to, but it’s a shame you all can’t see them. It’s a video of some of those boys present dressed up as Antiochus, soldiers and Chana’s sons being dragged away as Release Time kids watch on. Or the video I have of other of these boys visiting families of those children, helping them light their menorahs and dancing and singing with them and their families instead of joining their siblings in Crown Heights at their own families Chanukah parties. Or what about the… Read more »
Get off your high horse. Were you such an innocent bochur back in the day? Did you never “waist time” travelling to weddings? Did you always have a sefer with you? And remember not all bochurim are the same so don’t go judging.
I love bochurim.
They’re the best. The stuff they do, the genius they have, or that they are totally lacking… to the smart Bochurim- please share some of your private life with us so we can enjoy and learn.
To all of the above comments, I think one important factor is missing and that is these are the top bochrim in lubavitch. Each one of these boys have tens in not hundreds of mushpaim and followers. Each action they take has serious repercussions and they know that. They might be playing uno cards but their followers will use real cards. They might be doing it in the airport, but their followers will do it in a bar vechulu. I’m a shadchan and I’ve studied each of these boys intently but now I have a whole different view on the… Read more »
שיחת חולין של תלמידי חכמים
What ever happened to “ma toivu ohulecha yaakov mishkenosecha yisroel” which we say every morning in davening?!?
Reading the comments make it clear that sadly many people are desensitized on what it means to keep your nose out of other people’s business which is supposed to be a major value of the Jewish people.
The one that took the video was wrong.
Bocher was playing Uno
It was posted as “playing cards”, and we all know what that means
Someone rheds him a shiduch
Parents ask for references
CHAS V’SHALOM if the following were to happen
Someone who saw the post on Instagram says, “be careful. He was gambling at the airport. I saw the video on line!”
Parents think he can’t be a good match for their aidele frum daughter.
Bye bye shiduch
Stop posting thinks that can destroy lives just so you can have a few minutes of fun
at least 40 years ago, I was at Lag airport, M’S’K, waiting for my weather delayed plane to leave. It didn’t go until Sun morning, but that’s not the story. There were about a half dozen bocherim, early twenties. They sat on chairs, stuck quarters in and watched television. UNTIL, R’ _______, a chusover shliach, came by looking for his delayed flight. Boy, did these kids jump and run to other seats! I think the aitzie ha’rah also ran out of the airport. The Rebbes Kudisha frightened him away. I don’t know what this card game is. Question: Is it… Read more »
Please get a life my friend have a cig and go see a therapist regarding ur hang ups with “Chassidish people”.
With love a fellow collive reader.
:*
When a bochur has free time, must he learn?
When someone asks someone else to do a favor must they do the favor?
TO each thier own opinion.
What seem not arguable (to me) is that if I do something in a very public place in a very public way, I cannot expect to have any control over what others do with my spectacle.
It puts a smile on people’s faces to see a group of bochurim hanging out together, enjoying, while waiting for their flight. Surely, the guy who posted wasn’t trying to disrespect or infringe on your privacy. It was a public place and he was likely just trying to share something light hearted and sweet, for a change. As soon as he realised you werent ok w it, it was taken down. Nobody has the slightest issue with a bunch of guys playing a game on their way to a wedding…in fact its cute and refreshing. Any comments reflecting otherwise, are… Read more »
Well enjoy the chassunah and popular chosson to have so many chaveirim coming to his chassunah
May we merit moshiach speedily in our days!
These bochrim obviously felt that this video could harm them from the way it was described. They are not embarrassed for playing uno rather it being told to the public as cards. Give them some slack, get off your high horse to anyone giving a negative comment and let them be……….
Amen!
NY State Drpartment of Educstion think that yeshiva bochurim only know how to learn Torah. Show them the video and get the off the yeshivas backs. Mi Kamocha Ba’eilim Hashem. Uno means one- there is only one G-d.
Guys give up now the whole world knows you played Uno…..the shame you are living through is unspeakable….. YOUR LIVES ARE DESTROYED!!!
there’s no way back from here!
But the one telling everyone how “immature” “wasteful” and “shallow” they are, is mamesh none of the above.
Moshiach now.
Is between you and Hashem , you play UNO in your spare time enjoy, may all scandals be like this please Hashem , we are to busy hunting predators, hearing of abuse substance etc…
May this be the worst any bochur do and this will be an amazing world..
A person who spreads lashon hara (yes social media is the worst type of it) would get tzaras for everyone to see Abd know about so they can learn hear and fare למען ישמעו למען יראו… oh and btw he wasn’t publicly attacked for there is no name rather he’ll be able to read it and hopefully realize his mistake and learn from it.. Your Clearly a unlearned Jew… so perhaps remaining silent would be a better option… But thanks for sharing your ameratzes. We’re used to those on Collive comments;) Probably had you been playing uno instead of hanging… Read more »
Futerfas taught “No Private” as a way of life and it turned out to be a prophecy.
Wow much intelligence there.
Perhaps eating is also not a proper act, for most people (including yourself) would not want to be video eating and surely not posted on social media.
The rest of your comment has just way to much brains going into it to even refute but I’m happy you feel good about yourself with you wize comment…
No more needed!
You seem like a pretty chasidish bochur. You call yourself and your friends ‘eltere bachurim’ and are furious that anyone should Chas vsholom ‘rachmana ltzlan’ think you were playing cards, which is not allowed. And yet, you have no problem attacking another Jew publicly using nastiest, harshest terms. Maybe I don’t or the other readers dont know who you are talking about, but he certainly does, and I’m sure you’ve embarrassed him greatly. Seems you have a lot to learn about the true meaning of being a frum chasidish bachur. This includes ahavas yisroel. This behavior is what really turns… Read more »
I think it’s high time that as Lubavitchers we realize that we are always watched, always judged, and ALWAYS taking the Rebbe where we go… if it’s on mivtzoyim or on the floor in the airport playing UNO. Don’t for a minute think that they the world does not see the skirt which is inching up or the second open button on the bochers shirt… ( could someone explain that to me? What is so attractive about an undershirt or tzitzis showing or even worse… not) Let’s take the Rebbe where he deserves to be taken!
…what you’re doing publicly, it shows that deep inside you feel it wasn’t proper to act so, a group of full bearded Chabad Tmimim sitting on the floor and playing cards. You know that a oilemsher would look down on the whole Chabad Philosophy if this is the result that chabad chasidus is offering… My question to you is, what’s the difference if your actions are watched by a passerby or an online watcher ? You probably ment that famous vort “what happen in vegas stays in vegas…” There is a different girsah “What happens in vegas stay on YouTube”… Read more »
Reminded me of a story
A chossid came to a Rebbe asking a question for his friend. In truth it was his own question. The Rebbe responded, why can’t your friend ask me himself and say it’s the question of his friend.
black pants, sitting on the floor in a circle in a very public area ‘will’ attract attention, only natural. So if you want your privacy honored be a little more discreet. Aside from that I personally appreciated the idea of seeing the human side of rabbinical students life revealed. Makes me feel personally more connected & better. Just the perspective of a simple yid.
Whether your taking the video and posting or whether your worried about what people will say about you playing a card game. Or posting now about which side is right are all immature and wasteful. Three levels of shallow. Mind blowing.
Can someone PLEASE post the clip that we can see what’s the whole issue about?
He is very confused as in what’s going on please can someone spread some light on this subject.
If someone explicitly asks not to post something, what gave you right to post it?! This goes not just for social media but for teachers who think it’s “cute” to send pictures or videos “ just to parents”. If a person requests to have something delete it, be a Mentch and just delete it!
The writer is 10000% right.
BTW
People say that I’m always on social media. Funny how I didn’t see the clip yesterday.
Two things I want to say, might be opposites
Yes great lesson to teach our children, nowadays u Can t hide anything, anything u do will be known
Secondly, a picture is still not proof of wrongdoing, if u think playing cards is a waste of time, bochurim shoukd be on to better stuff, how do we know if this wasn’t exactly wht they should be yes doing in order to warm up to someone in the group thst needed just thst. Maybe this was vital. There are always things we don’t know from behind the scenes!
Wouldn’t it be awesome if collive was Lubavitch online instead of Chabad online? I mean, lollive.com… you can’t beat a name like that. And it would fit what happens on col everyday perfectly.
The problem is the very reason why he didn’t want it posted. It’s nobody’s business what the Bochurim were doing. Maybe they were learning 12hrs straight and needed a break. Stop judging them. The bocher said just a few minutes after being posted he got calls on his phone. Leave them alone.
The shadchonim are busy watching the video
A lot of Jewish believe that the symbols on the cards are tumah (Impure) and therefore they felt it was insults.
I can see this from both perspectives. In my opinion, it was a breath of fresh air to see no phones glued to ears and people having a little fun but if the person was asked not to post it…then I think the request was reasonable. Unfortunately, in the world of social media, common courtesy isn’t all that common.
This writer is right. An innocent activity may still not be meant for the whole word. Nothing to be ashamed of, better than each guy sitting alone on his phone, but after a polite request not to post, it’s not nice that the video was posted. Not mentchlich.
While I do agree that this oped is correct regarding certain videos that are shared via social media that are mean, cruel and/or shame or embarass someone, I don’t agree that it applies to the person who took this video. It was an innocent situation and an innocent video.
I’m shocked no one suggested a shidduch for this author
And the comments are the fuel.
Oy, what have we come to…
It’s 2018 and yes there is social media and it may or may not be a good thing that is up to debate. But if you know you did nothing wrong why do you care what people think or say about you. Do you really think you are gonna lose out on a job opportunity or a shiduch cause they think you play cards. If that’s why you think you lost out let me tell you’ve dodged a major bullet. Stop caring what others think or say. Literally no one cares even if you were playing cards and if they… Read more »
you seem to be very concerned with being watched by insensitive people, but life is remarkably better when one is only concerned with THE ONE AND ONLY who knows it all long before humans supposedly had some of these abilities. We should make sure we don’t embarrass ourselves by embarrassing HKBH
That wasn’t nice on the part of the guy videoing. maybe on our part it’s a lesson that as a lubavutcher we represent the Rebbe wherever we are and along with the incredible zchus comes a responsiblty we have to know our every action is being watched and we are being represented.
And the most important lesson for all of us is…
וְהִנֵּה ה’ נִצָּב עָלָיו וּמְלֹא כָּל הָאָרֶץ כְּבוֹדוֹ וּמַבִּיט עָלָיו וּבוֹחֵן כְּלָיוֹת וָלֵב, אִם עוֹבְדוֹ כָּרָאוּי.
There are still many people who don’t appreciate social media. If the bocher said don’t post it then he should have respected that. Look how people misjudged what cards the bochurim were playing. Pure Loshen Hara, yes loshen hara on social media.
As a Yungerman who is BH busy all the time with family and all other obligations of a father/married person, I can tell you that the best “spiritual vacation” I have is when I need to travel; in the airport, on the plane… I take a few Seforim and learn / read.
What exactly is a whole group of Temimim doing without any Shiyrim or Chitas Rambam to learn?!
I can’t imagine the Nachas Ruach for The Rebbe that Bochurim (who are already wasting precious Seder time to travel to a wedding) couldn’t find anything better to do.
Man, these COL articles these days are pure fire! Such entertainment these days.
LOL
What’s wrong with poker and blackjack?
Hashem is always watching, just like smartphones.
And social media stinks. Ruins lives in a blink of an eye.
But there is no law preventing it.
You make a good point. But the writer was pretty clear that they had asked that the video NOT be posted.
A bit dramatic if you ask me.
The video clip was harmless and did not hurt anyone. Thats not to say that social media can be quite bad in many ways, but this did not warrant this response.
i am shocked! you are being too righteous for not blaming this man. How dare?? this is really shocking and I wish you guys the best
You’re trying to justify it? Why? They asked you not to post so don’t. Don’t come up with reasons why you think it’s better. To borrow the phrase from the Navi “halo shemoa tov mizevach tov” just respect people that’s it. Respect. Don’t decide things for others.
Also saw it and thought OMG this is so nice the boys are setting together and not on their phones, some were seeing learning Dvar malchus, etc. Was Mamas kiddush Ashem!
Social media breeds jealousy ! Causes damage to relationships and hundred other damages! I can go on and on . A shiduch is rejected because of some outdated picture of a girl so now she is ” nerdy” . Our children need to find “likes” on Facebook and the sick world of instagram . Instead of ” likes” in our home
I saw the video yesterday on instagram, it was so nice! I actually remarked that it was such a kiddush hashem how the bochurim were learning and sitting together. I think you are being overly judgemental on someone who just wanted to share something nice with others. I think you have something to learn about being kind and judging others favorably (just my humble opinion.).