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Thursday, 7 Sivan, 5784
  |  June 13, 2024

Before You Send Your Kid to Shul Alone, Read This

A reputable Crown Heights teacher has a warning for parents who allow their children to roam freely in Shul unsupervised. Full Story

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Thank you!
May 13, 2024 10:51 pm

Firstly for doing something for these kids! Second, for alerting the community!

YOU MUST WARN HIM TO LEAVE OR POST HIS PICTURE !
Reply to  Thank you!
May 14, 2024 1:28 am

GET RID OF HIM BEFORE ITS TOO LATE.

DO IT YOURSELF OR CALL SHMIRA OR SHOMRIM ASAP

only one!?

even if you get rid of this one abuser another one is going to take his place.

What about others

I think it’s a Shayla to ask if you can let the public know who it is. If you kick him out of 770 he can go elsewhere to prey on unsuspecting children.

Terrible
May 13, 2024 10:58 pm

As a father of young children Boruch hashem
I am constantly on guard for people who would do such a terrible and disgusting things
What makes it sadder and more disturbing is that it is done by a person who keeps Torah and mitzvos.
We can honestly trust only a handful of people who we know 1000 % are ok to be around our children

Some
Reply to  Terrible
May 14, 2024 7:53 am

You mean by someone who appears to keep some of the mitzvos

This is so important
May 13, 2024 11:02 pm

I think people get comfortable because it’s a shul.
Its a public space like any other.
My 14 year old wants to daven in 770. I don’t feel comfortable with him being alone there and have spoken to him about being alert to such behavior.

Stop sheltering kids
Reply to  This is so important
May 17, 2024 12:47 pm

Either you made up the story or you are delusional.
Nowadays every single 14 year old kid knows more than enough to protect themselves.
If you keep sheltering the poor kid he will turn into one of those anxious nervous adults who are scared of their own shadow.
Let him be free

In the middle
Reply to  Stop sheltering kids
May 17, 2024 3:21 pm

Neither extreme is good. A balance is always the best. Don’t shelter your kids but don’t assume they know that to do it how to protect themselves in such a situation

Thank you for speaking up and looking out
May 13, 2024 11:08 pm

AD MOSAI MOSHIACH NOW!

Thank you for doing the right thing!
May 13, 2024 11:11 pm

BH people are finally waking up to protect our children.

Menachem
May 13, 2024 11:16 pm

זאל די איובעשטער אפהיטן.

In today's day and age...
May 13, 2024 11:17 pm

Every adult that interacts with a child is suspected of being a child molester.

What does that have to do
Reply to  In today's day and age...
May 13, 2024 11:52 pm

Maybe there is such an issue, maybe not, but this was clearly something very wrong. And I hope youc see that…

Paranoid
Reply to  In today's day and age...
May 14, 2024 12:04 am

Its normal for people to interact with children. It became like the security checks where since there were terrorist attacks, every person has to go through security. Use some common sense before you accuse normal people who show affection to children. This was never a problem until this day and age!

David
Reply to  Paranoid
May 14, 2024 12:44 am

The behavior described does not sound innocent to me though. If a stranger is repeating the same routine with two children in a row that he does not know, I would be suspicious. I agree that it is too bad that we have to exercise such caution. I love children, and so I can understand why people would want to “show affection,” for them but what we are hearing about does not sound innocent. It’s the kind of thing that perhaps can’t be explained in obvious terms, you just know that something is wrong when you see it. In general… Read more »

Re: Paranoid
Reply to  Paranoid
May 14, 2024 6:01 am

This is not new. This wasn’t spoken about publicly “until this day and age.” People covered it up.

Now
Reply to  Paranoid
May 14, 2024 6:18 am

Correct! This was. Ever a problem until it became a problem. And nowadays it’s a HUGE problem! Mainly because there are now a bunch of perverted (even frum) people. Touching a strangers child in any way these days IS NOT OKAY!!!! Don’t try to minimize a major problem!!

Reality
Reply to  Paranoid
May 14, 2024 8:12 am

B”H
Yes it WAS a problem since the beginning of time. It just wasn’t enforced

No right to touch or get close
Reply to  In today's day and age...
May 14, 2024 3:18 am

As long as an adult is interacting in front of other people and not touching or getting close that is most likely a normal interaction.

Really?
Reply to  In today's day and age...
May 14, 2024 6:13 am

Common, interacting doesn’t involve touching in any form whatsoever!!!

David
May 13, 2024 11:22 pm

Yes. I had the same thought a few weeks ago when I, someone who rarely goes to 770, was approached actually by a few kids who saw me at an event and asked if I could give them a ride. Really nice kids but I thought to myself that they really ought to be taught not to do that with strangers. Maybe this is a good place to mention it so that people in the community are extra cautious and take time to remind their kids to show care. It is unfortunate that we do have to have these conversations… Read more »

Really?
Reply to  David
May 14, 2024 12:38 am

Or maybe they end up taking a ride with someone they shouldn’t because you didn’t allow them to go with you….it’s the parents job to educate, not yours.

David
Reply to  Really?
May 14, 2024 10:54 am

I never said I didn’t allow them to go with me. I saw to it that they were safe. However, I did not tell them to watch out for themselves and I regret not doing so. No, while the primary job of educating kids is for their parents, we are all responsible to help when we can.

Did you read his comment?
Reply to  Really?
May 14, 2024 11:44 am

Thats what he said.

Thank you, Teacher
May 13, 2024 11:24 pm

A-L-W-A-Y-S keep track of your children at all times, please. I could tell you so many stories. There is no excuse. Our community must find a way to help these families with so many children.

David
May 13, 2024 11:27 pm

Sickening to think that someone would go to 770 to look for children to victimize. But such is the evil of some people. And it is unfortunate but for their benefit we do need to teach our kids to exercise caution.

prime location - everyone thinks its safe
Reply to  David
May 15, 2024 2:05 pm

Shuls and Mikvahs are prime locations for this type of thing. Unfortunately nothing new, but at least now people are becoming aware.

Someone from my community was almost abducted by a frum person. Always tell your kids, normal healthy adults, do not ask kids for help or invite you into their house for no reason.

Thank you
May 13, 2024 11:51 pm

Thank you to the teacher who informed COL about this issue and thank you to COL for posting!!!

Teach your kids
May 14, 2024 2:26 am

Adults ask adults for help, adults play/interact with adults.

Underrated
Reply to  Teach your kids
May 17, 2024 3:27 pm

This is a great easy way for kids to digest this point

So important
May 14, 2024 4:20 am

Such an important conversation to have .. summer is coming talk to your young kids who are campers .. talk to ur older kids who may be junior counselor and talk to you older teens and 18+ … make sure they are aware of signs and aware of appropriate behaviors in a setting with kids … camps do a good job but kids should here it from loving parents as well … important ..

Esther
May 14, 2024 7:48 am

I totally agree with the above article. Whether it’s the men’s section or the women of 770 the PEOPLE do not watch their CHILDREN! IT is imperative that you should watch your CHILDREN.

Teach the children
May 14, 2024 7:56 am

It’s also a good time to have conversations with your kids about inappropriate touch. My kids know that if someone would stroke them they should come and tell me right away.

Ari
May 14, 2024 8:01 am

770 Eastern Pkwy is not a typical communal shul where everyone knows each other.
A large chunk of its patrons are tourists. Here today, gone tomorrow. A mentally ill tourist who derives pleasure from touching kids can easily fly home the next day before being caught

This is a very important point
Reply to  Ari
May 14, 2024 8:42 am

It’s largely a transient congragation. But also explains some of the other non mentchlich behavior that goes on in 770; these things typically don’t happen when you need to continue to face the person.

Not a new problem
May 14, 2024 9:06 am

Back in the 50’s it was common our family members “to drop in” to visit. My mother told our housekeeper that if a certain cousin came by and she wasn’t home she should politely not let him in. When he stopped by one very hot day (before air conditioning) and was informed my mother wasn’t home, he asked if he could just have a cold drink. As the housekeeper was distracted preparing to give him a drink, my little sister came in the room and he touched the child inappropriately.

Frightening
Reply to  Not a new problem
May 14, 2024 11:28 am

This is a terrible story
It’s frightening how unsafe our world is

Super Scary
May 14, 2024 10:19 am

Also, by other shuls I see kids playing in the street, once saw a kid almost get hit by a car… It’s really scary

Large Shul
May 14, 2024 12:22 pm

Yes, have seen this issue with some of the unstable people around 770 and special needs older boys in the community touching inappropriately that kids unfortunately do not realize are mentally unstable when they are too young to notice these things

Social norms
May 14, 2024 1:11 pm

For better or worse we have created social norms that make it easier to spot suspicious behavior.

Never touch a child you don’t know. If it’s a relative or REALLY close friend you can give a hug at shoulder height, and a pinch on the cheek if your a zeidy figure. And ONLY in the presence of their guardian.

It doesn’t “sound” suspect. He is actually touching children. The part that is suspect is whether he had any further intentions.

Kids alone
May 14, 2024 10:02 pm

Why are children not being supervised. Be it in a shul or at a simcha children need to be supervision 24-7. Would anyone leave their diamonds out for easy access NO! Neither should children be. We live in a dangerous work and parents need to protect their children.

in many circles stroking a kids cheek is normal
May 14, 2024 10:25 pm

you can be חושש and you can tell the father, but you cannot post this mans pic just for that. we are frum jews who follow הלכה (asking a rov and following הלכות לשה”ר), not JCW.

Wrong
Reply to  in many circles stroking a kids cheek is normal
May 14, 2024 10:49 pm

You are 100 percent wrong! Stroking a child’s cheek that is not related to you is wrong and perverted !
In which circles is it okay exactly?!
We have to post his picture, he can be dangerous

Not so fast
Reply to  Wrong
May 15, 2024 12:07 am

We don’t know this person’s intentions it could be he doesn’t have bad intentions
So we can’t publicize this person as a dangerous person

David
Reply to  Not so fast
May 15, 2024 1:12 pm

Doing it twice in a row to random children, truly does not sound innocent. Yes stroking a child’s cheek can be innocent, but the pattern is not.

Cant agree more
May 15, 2024 10:44 pm

This happened to me in 770 when I was a child. Thank you for bringing this issue to light.

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