A reputable Crown Heights teacher has brought us information that parents need to be aware of.
As someone educated in child abuse prevention, he observed a classic case of grooming in the main shul of 770.
The teacher saw a man – who speaks English and Hebrew – approach a child and craftily spark a playful conversation. After some time, the man proceeded to stroke the child’s cheek and back. At that point the teacher intervened, telling the child his father was looking for him. He also alerted the child’s father.
As the teacher continued to observe from afar, he noticed the same man quickly find another child to befriend and repeated the same grooming behavior.
We are currently investigating this matter. There was no report of direct abuse, but we feel this warrants a community alert.
Keep track of your children in 770 or any shul. And if your gut tells you that an adult’s behavior is suspicious, don’t remain quiet. Let the parent or shul leadership know of a possible issue. It could be nothing. Or it may prevent an unthinkable trauma.
Firstly for doing something for these kids! Second, for alerting the community!
GET RID OF HIM BEFORE ITS TOO LATE.
DO IT YOURSELF OR CALL SHMIRA OR SHOMRIM ASAP
even if you get rid of this one abuser another one is going to take his place.
I think it’s a Shayla to ask if you can let the public know who it is. If you kick him out of 770 he can go elsewhere to prey on unsuspecting children.
As a father of young children Boruch hashem
I am constantly on guard for people who would do such a terrible and disgusting things
What makes it sadder and more disturbing is that it is done by a person who keeps Torah and mitzvos.
We can honestly trust only a handful of people who we know 1000 % are ok to be around our children
You mean by someone who appears to keep some of the mitzvos
I think people get comfortable because it’s a shul.
Its a public space like any other.
My 14 year old wants to daven in 770. I don’t feel comfortable with him being alone there and have spoken to him about being alert to such behavior.
Either you made up the story or you are delusional.
Nowadays every single 14 year old kid knows more than enough to protect themselves.
If you keep sheltering the poor kid he will turn into one of those anxious nervous adults who are scared of their own shadow.
Let him be free
Neither extreme is good. A balance is always the best. Don’t shelter your kids but don’t assume they know that to do it how to protect themselves in such a situation
AD MOSAI MOSHIACH NOW!
BH people are finally waking up to protect our children.
זאל די איובעשטער אפהיטן.
Every adult that interacts with a child is suspected of being a child molester.
Maybe there is such an issue, maybe not, but this was clearly something very wrong. And I hope youc see that…
Its normal for people to interact with children. It became like the security checks where since there were terrorist attacks, every person has to go through security. Use some common sense before you accuse normal people who show affection to children. This was never a problem until this day and age!
The behavior described does not sound innocent to me though. If a stranger is repeating the same routine with two children in a row that he does not know, I would be suspicious. I agree that it is too bad that we have to exercise such caution. I love children, and so I can understand why people would want to “show affection,” for them but what we are hearing about does not sound innocent. It’s the kind of thing that perhaps can’t be explained in obvious terms, you just know that something is wrong when you see it. In general… Read more »
This is not new. This wasn’t spoken about publicly “until this day and age.” People covered it up.
Correct! This was. Ever a problem until it became a problem. And nowadays it’s a HUGE problem! Mainly because there are now a bunch of perverted (even frum) people. Touching a strangers child in any way these days IS NOT OKAY!!!! Don’t try to minimize a major problem!!
B”H
Yes it WAS a problem since the beginning of time. It just wasn’t enforced
As long as an adult is interacting in front of other people and not touching or getting close that is most likely a normal interaction.
Common, interacting doesn’t involve touching in any form whatsoever!!!
Yes. I had the same thought a few weeks ago when I, someone who rarely goes to 770, was approached actually by a few kids who saw me at an event and asked if I could give them a ride. Really nice kids but I thought to myself that they really ought to be taught not to do that with strangers. Maybe this is a good place to mention it so that people in the community are extra cautious and take time to remind their kids to show care. It is unfortunate that we do have to have these conversations… Read more »
Or maybe they end up taking a ride with someone they shouldn’t because you didn’t allow them to go with you….it’s the parents job to educate, not yours.
I never said I didn’t allow them to go with me. I saw to it that they were safe. However, I did not tell them to watch out for themselves and I regret not doing so. No, while the primary job of educating kids is for their parents, we are all responsible to help when we can.
Thats what he said.
A-L-W-A-Y-S keep track of your children at all times, please. I could tell you so many stories. There is no excuse. Our community must find a way to help these families with so many children.
Sickening to think that someone would go to 770 to look for children to victimize. But such is the evil of some people. And it is unfortunate but for their benefit we do need to teach our kids to exercise caution.
Shuls and Mikvahs are prime locations for this type of thing. Unfortunately nothing new, but at least now people are becoming aware.
Someone from my community was almost abducted by a frum person. Always tell your kids, normal healthy adults, do not ask kids for help or invite you into their house for no reason.
Thank you to the teacher who informed COL about this issue and thank you to COL for posting!!!
Adults ask adults for help, adults play/interact with adults.
This is a great easy way for kids to digest this point
Such an important conversation to have .. summer is coming talk to your young kids who are campers .. talk to ur older kids who may be junior counselor and talk to you older teens and 18+ … make sure they are aware of signs and aware of appropriate behaviors in a setting with kids … camps do a good job but kids should here it from loving parents as well … important ..
I totally agree with the above article. Whether it’s the men’s section or the women of 770 the PEOPLE do not watch their CHILDREN! IT is imperative that you should watch your CHILDREN.
It’s also a good time to have conversations with your kids about inappropriate touch. My kids know that if someone would stroke them they should come and tell me right away.
770 Eastern Pkwy is not a typical communal shul where everyone knows each other.
A large chunk of its patrons are tourists. Here today, gone tomorrow. A mentally ill tourist who derives pleasure from touching kids can easily fly home the next day before being caught
It’s largely a transient congragation. But also explains some of the other non mentchlich behavior that goes on in 770; these things typically don’t happen when you need to continue to face the person.
Back in the 50’s it was common our family members “to drop in” to visit. My mother told our housekeeper that if a certain cousin came by and she wasn’t home she should politely not let him in. When he stopped by one very hot day (before air conditioning) and was informed my mother wasn’t home, he asked if he could just have a cold drink. As the housekeeper was distracted preparing to give him a drink, my little sister came in the room and he touched the child inappropriately.
This is a terrible story
It’s frightening how unsafe our world is
Also, by other shuls I see kids playing in the street, once saw a kid almost get hit by a car… It’s really scary
Yes, have seen this issue with some of the unstable people around 770 and special needs older boys in the community touching inappropriately that kids unfortunately do not realize are mentally unstable when they are too young to notice these things
For better or worse we have created social norms that make it easier to spot suspicious behavior.
Never touch a child you don’t know. If it’s a relative or REALLY close friend you can give a hug at shoulder height, and a pinch on the cheek if your a zeidy figure. And ONLY in the presence of their guardian.
It doesn’t “sound” suspect. He is actually touching children. The part that is suspect is whether he had any further intentions.
Why are children not being supervised. Be it in a shul or at a simcha children need to be supervision 24-7. Would anyone leave their diamonds out for easy access NO! Neither should children be. We live in a dangerous work and parents need to protect their children.
you can be חושש and you can tell the father, but you cannot post this mans pic just for that. we are frum jews who follow הלכה (asking a rov and following הלכות לשה”ר), not JCW.
You are 100 percent wrong! Stroking a child’s cheek that is not related to you is wrong and perverted !
In which circles is it okay exactly?!
We have to post his picture, he can be dangerous
We don’t know this person’s intentions it could be he doesn’t have bad intentions
So we can’t publicize this person as a dangerous person
Doing it twice in a row to random children, truly does not sound innocent. Yes stroking a child’s cheek can be innocent, but the pattern is not.
This happened to me in 770 when I was a child. Thank you for bringing this issue to light.