Aquatic Purim in Liverpool

by Simon Phillips

You know you have a good Purim costume when it can be described as an act of ‘high treason’. Believe me; I looked so awful in my (pregnant) Princess Kate Middleton costume that describing it as ‘an extreme act against one’s sovereign or nation’ is probably an understatement. If it was 1814, and treason was still punishable by being hanged, drawn and quartered, my decision to have a go on the surf board simulator probably wouldn’t have helped my case. Fortunately for me it’s 2013, and as my liver splutters back into life, I can once again loudly proclaim a hearty thanks to Rabbi Shmuli and Tzivia Brown from Chabad of Liverpool Universities for organising another fantastic Purim party.

Heavily pregnant and accompanied by the exceptionally strange entourage of Prince William and a Circus Clown, I excitedly made my way towards Liverpool UK’s Student Chabad House. This year the dining room was transformed into an underwater ‘paradise’ complete with sandy beach and actual-real-fish in Actual! Real!! Fish bowls!!! So accurate was the scene depicted that I managed to convince myself I was actually underwater, so I spent at least 5 seconds in a manic-state of stimulated drowning.

Gasping for breath, and quickly regaining consciousness I sat down to begin my journey into the Megilla, read aloud by Rabbi Shmuli. I made sure to noisily make known my on-going annoyance at Haman for that silly decision to try and massacre the Jews.

Then began my favourite part of the evening…. the meal. Starting with salmon skewers and sushi, it occurred to me highly fortunate that people were able to differentiate between the fish in the bowls and the fish on their plates. I still can’t think of any better way to describe the main course other than ‘loads of really nice chicken’. To be honest my mouth was probably too stuffed at the time to even begin thinking about it. More than once I attempted to excuse my gorging by claiming that I was ‘eating for two’. Ignoring the fact that partner in this culinary crime was not an unborn child but a sparkly silver pillow crudely stuffed up my top.

Then came the entertainment. This began with a smorgasbord of fancy-dress characters embarrassing themselves by falling off the mechanical surf-board. Most succumbing to the clutches of gravity in a way that looked like what would happen if you electrocuted rag dolls in a tumble drier. Indeed when my turn came, I probably should have taken more consideration of the ‘signing-your-life-away-form’ before ending up face down, wig askew, legs akimbo. This wasn’t the last time I would be experiencing Purim from a horizontal position, as I then had a go as a sumo wrestler, bumbling around in an oversized fat suit before quickly losing balance and rolling around on the floor.

As the evening came to an end prizes were awarded for the best costumes. First prize was awarded to an ethereal ‘human-jellyfish’, complete with almost otherworldly shining-silver tentacles. A fitting end to another fantastic Purim celebration.