6 Thoughts As We Celebrate First Purim Since Covid

By Rochie Smetana, LMHC

Purim is just over a week away, and for many of us, it comes as a stark reminder of everything that occurred in the aftermath of last Purim.

It’s difficult to wrap our heads around the events of this past year. The immense tragedies, losses, fears, restrictions, uncertainty, and disruptions of daily life that we experienced, and are experiencing, as individuals, a community, and globally. It’s enough to take our collective breath away every time we think about them, and it’s challenging not to think about them as this Yom Tov comes around again.

We want this Purim to be like all the Purims before the last one, with all the joy, fun, depth, and energy, but how do we celebrate with full hearts when we remember what we’ve lost? How do we hold space for everything that took place, and is still taking place, this year while also making space for the happiness and light of this holiday?

Here are a few suggestions that I hope might be able to help us navigate this time and everything that comes with it:

1. Acknowledge all of the thoughts, feelings, and reactions that you may be experiencing as you think about and prepare for this Purim. There is no right or wrong way to feel right now, whether you’re feeling worried, sad, or excited. All parts of your experience are valid and accepted.

2. Talk to your friends, family, or people you trust about what might be coming up for you and for them now. Discussing your experiences with others can give everyone a space to process what occurred and to recognize what we might be feeling. You might be surprised at how many people are feeling similarly to you.

3. Take time to remember the memorable moments of the last year. Whether it was a happy moment with your children, a nice walk with a friend, or learning to use Zoom for the first time, take the time to remember the good moments in addition to all the difficult ones. This can help us feel some measure of gratitude, this can help us make room for genuine happiness despite everything.

4. Allow yourself to make mindful choices based on the values you might have learned or been reminded of over the last year. For some people that might mean making a more simple Shalach Manos after recognizing that the extravagance of past years doesn’t sit well with them now. For others it might mean going all out on a beautiful Shalach Manos in the interest of celebrating this occasion, and every occasion, to its fullest. Many of us had moments of reflection and realization during this year and now might be the time to channel those into new choices.

5. This Yom Tov is all about giving – to friends and to the needy – and giving to others is a proven path to healing ourselves. Find a way to give to others this Purim, by giving Shalach Manos to someone who is still housebound, calling someone who lives far away and might be celebrating Purim alone, or checking in with someone who experienced loss this year.

6. Lastly, gently notice if you may still be engaging in some unhealthy coping strategies you might have adopted around this time last year, as we first faced the shock and trauma of the beginnings of the pandemic. These could include spending too much time on your phone, trading real social connections for social media, emotional overeating as a form of avoidance, or any other vices or unhealthy habits you might have picked up. Try to be compassionate towards yourself as you do this, because you might have had good reason to rely on those strategies at the time, even if they are no longer serving you. If you recognize that there are any truly detrimental patterns you’ve established, remember that now can be a time to seek help and create change.

Wishing everyone a truly happy Purim, one that brings us healing and health, spiritually, physically, mentally, and emotionally.