20 Sivan: Yartzeit of Rabbi Yehuda Kalman Marlow

By: Rabbi Michoel Seligson

[Adapted from the sefer Zikoron Tiferes Yehuda Kalman]

Rabbi Yehuda Kalman Marlow was born on the 10th of Adar 1932 in Frankfurt, Germany, to Reb Avrohom Yeshaya and Rochel Malinowsky. His father valued Torah learning and had a special love and appreciation for people who studied Torah. His mother descended from an unbroken chain of famous Rabbonim beginning with the great gaon Reb Heshel, the Av Bais Din of Cracow. Referring to him, the Chido, Reb Chaim Dovid Azuloi wrote: “His descendents had many Rabbonim in previous generations, and may they live and be well, Rabbonim in our generation.”

After the Nazi party gained control of the German government, remaining in Germany was no longer a possibility. The Malinowsky family succeeded in leaving Germany, and in 1938, they moved to Newark, New Jersey and subsequently shortened their name to Marlow. The family underwent a period of financial hardship as Reb Avrohom refused the many jobs that at the time, required working on Shabbos. He worked at difficult jobs and took parttime work in order not to desecrate the Shabbos. There were periods that the six-year old Yehuda Kalman went without food. Nevertheless, Reb Avrohom sent his young son to Yeshiva Torah VoDaas. There he established contact with Lubavitch through Horav Sholom Ber Gordon, who had immigrated to the United States a few years earlier and served as a Rav in New Jersey where he spread Chassidus in the Jewish schools.

Reb Avrohom did not come from a Chassidish family, but he loved the ways of Chassidim. When the Previous Rebbe came to the United States, Reb Avrohom traveled with Chassidim to participate in the Rebbe’s Farbrengens and merited to attend them quite often. Since young students were not allowed entry into the Previous Rebbe’s Farbrengen, the young bochur Yehuda Kalman needed to hide in order to hear the Farbrengen. When he reached Bar Mitzva, his father wanted to bring his son into Yechidus, but the Rebbe became ill, and the Yechidus never took place.

On Shabbos, Yud Shvat 1950, Reb Yehuda Kalman was in Newark when he received the news of the Previous Rebbe’s histalkus. He took part in the levaya on Sunday. He was now attending Yeshivas Tomchei Temimim in New York, and from time to time he would visit Crown Heights and participate in the Rebbe’s Farbrengens.

“They benefit from him advice and counsel”
Rabbi Marlow related that in 1953 he had been at the Yud-Bais Tammuz Farbrengen. At the conclusion of the Farbrengen, the Rebbe distributed mashke and spoke with each participant regarding their future. When Rabbi Marlow passed before the Rebbe, the Rebbe spoke to him for a longer period of time. Rabbi Marlow was unable to hear everything the Rebbe said because of the commotion of the surrounding crowd. What he was able to hear was, “Nehenin mimenu eitza v’sushiya,” they benefit from his advice and counsel.

Yeshivas Tomchei Tmimim
One year, the bochur Reb Yehuda Kalman had Yechidus with the Rebbe in honor of his birthday. He was asked what masechta he was learning. He responded that it was Gemoro Gitin. The Rebbe asked how he had learned it. Reb Yehuda Kalman said that he learned the Gemoro with Rashi, Tosfos, and additional commentaries. The Rebbe asked him, “And what about the poskim, Halachic sforim on the Gemoro?” From then on, Reb Yehuda Kalman put a special emphasis on learning the practical halachic applications of whatever Gemoro was being learned in yeshiva that year.

Studying in Yeshiva Tomchei Tmimim in 770, Reb Yehuda Kalman was known for his tremendous diligence, and his teachers predicted greatness for him. He received Smicha, Rabbinic ordination, from the Roshei Yeshiva at a young age.

Rabbi Groner related the following story. One night the Rebbe asked Rabbi Groner why the lights in the zal, the Beis Medrash, were burning at such a late hour. Rabbi Groner told the Rebbe that Reb Yehuda Kalman was still sitting and learning sifrei poskim. The Rebbe asked him to shut all the lights except for the one directly above Reb Yehuda Kalman. Deeply absorbed in his studies, Reb Yehuda Kalman didn’t notice Rabbi Groner enter the zal and shut off the lights.

At the Seudas Moshiach on Acharon Shel Pesach 1958, the Rebbe called Reb Yehuda Kalman by his first name. He asked him if he had already drunk the four cups of wine and poured wine for him from the bottle on his table.

Shabbos Meal At Midnight
In 1959, Rabbi Marlow married Ms. Chaya Reicher. Her mother had been murdered by the Nazis in a concentration camp, but she had miraculously survived and immigrated to America. She was welcomed with open arms by the Becker family, who adopted her as their daughter. The Rebbe was the mesader kiddushin and officiated at the wedding.

Rabbi Marlow taught in the Lubavitcher Yeshiva. After work, he would go to a shul where he sat and learned and would return home late at night. Rabbi Marlow had a special program of study on Shabbos. After davening, he would place two tallis bags full of sforim on the table and would study them in a certain order until approximately 11:00 p.m. He would then return home for the Shabbos meal.

His son, Rabbi Yosef Yitzchok Marlow, recalled that as a child, his mother would serve him the Shabbos meal before he went to Maariv, in order that he would be able to go to sleep directly after Kiddush which took place late in the evening.

On Shabbos Mevorchim Rabbi Marlow would not go to sleep. After the meal, he would nap in his chair for about two hours and get up and wash his hands. Then he would say Birchos HaShachar and begin reciting Tehillim. He would typically finish the entire Tehillim twice every Shabbos Mevorchim.

Every year Rabbi Marlow would complete a specific number of mesechtos which he studied in depth. Rabbi Marlow, a first born son, would make a siyum on a Gemoro on Erev Pesach. Despite making the siyum, he would also fast. Fasting on such a busy day did not stop him from remaining in shul after Maariv for his regular shiurim. A few hours after the last person left the shul, he would go home to break his fast and conduct the seder.

Rabbi Marlow’s son-in-law, Reb Yosef BZ Schechter, remembered the seder as a very special experience. “The Rav would sit and read the Haggada in an intense way, pronouncing each word
exactly the way we say `Hashem hu ho’Elokim’ in Ne’ila at the conclusion of Yom Kippur.”

A Walking Shulchan Aruch
Although Rabbi Marlow was modest, he couldn’t conceal his tremendous diligence from those who observed him in shul. They always saw him sitting in his corner delving deeply into sforim.

People began approaching him with their halachic questions and discovered that he was fluent in all of the Alter Rebbe’s Shulchan Aruch.

The Rav in Crown Heights at the time was Rabbi Zalman Shimon Dworkin. Rabbi Marlow did not want to “Pasken, issue a verdict, in the presence of his teacher,” and therefore would not answer directly when asked for a psak.

He would open the Shulchan Aruch to the section that addressed the topic and learn it with the questioners until they understood on their own.

Rabbi Marlow acquired his incredible proficiency in Shulchan Aruch through his intensive studies. Before every Yom Tov he reviewed all the relevant halachos in depth. When Rabbi Marlow would lie down for a brief rest before Pesach, he would ask his son to sit near his bed with a Shulchan Aruch and test him on the index, published in the back of the Shulchan Aruch. His son would mention a topic, and Rabbi Marlow would respond with the chapters that dealt with the topic.

This was Rabbi Marlow’s “rest” on Erev Pesach.

Knew Torah by heart
Aside from his incredible mastery of Shulchan Aruch and other halachic works, he knew the entire Torah by heart with Rashi’s commentary and Targum Unkelus. “He knew Targum Unkelus like we know Ashrei,” testified Rabbi Yosef Schechter. He was also an exacting baal koreh, fluent in the taamei ha’mikra, the sounds of the Torah reading for the words. His son related that in the last weeks of his life, there was a minyan in his house, and Rabbi Marlow confined to his bed and unable to look inside a Chumash, would nonetheless correct the Baal Koreh on even minor errors.

Presumably, he was knowledgeable in Sifrei Kabbalah too. Reb Yosef Brook worked alongside Rabbi Marlow for many years. He once asked Rabbi Marlow, who was involved in building mikvaos, why round mikvaos weren’t built. He had asked many Rabbonim, and nobody had an answer for him.

Rabbi Marlow told him that the shape of the Mikva was based on Kabbala and referred him to the Kabbalistic source which gave the reason.

Rabbi Marlow’s memory was truly remarkable; he remembered everything he learned and heard. In later years, after he was elected Rav, he began officiating as the mesader kiddushin.

After writing the tenaim and the kesuba with all its details, including the names of the cosigners and the witnesses, he would hand the kesuba to the chosson and read it through again in order to ensure that there were no mistakes.

People noticed that the copy the Rav was reading was blank and did not have the names of the chosson, Kallah, and witnesses filled in. Although he had only heard the names one time, he read
from the blank copy as though he were reading from the kesuba itself.

The Incident in the Sukka in 1970
When the Rebbe ate the Yom Tov meals on the second floor of 770 with the elder chassidim, young men would ask the Rashag, the Rebbe’s brother-in-law, interesting questions that he would in turn ask the Rebbe, and the Rebbe would answer.

On Sukkos 5730, Rabbi Marlow asked the Rashag why the Chabad custom was not to sleep in the sukka although according to Halacha there seemed to be an obligation to do so.
The Rashag asked the Rebbe this question, and at the farbrengen on the second day of Yom Tov, the Rebbe referred to the question and explained the Chabad custom at length. After completing the explanation, the Rebbe smiled and said that since “All who delve into the laws of sleeping are as if they are actually sleeping,” they should sing a happy niggun. The Rebbe strongly encouraged the singing, and the large crowd danced in place with vigor.

A pile of benches collapsed onto Rabbi Marlow’s leg. Despite the terrible pain, he didn’t call out so as not to disturb the farbrengen. The organizing committee rushed over and began moving people aside. At this point he was lying on the ground, and when they tried moving him, they noticed his leg under the fallen benches. The singing had stopped, and the Rebbe looked on gravely.

After great effort, they managed to transport him to the hospital. His leg was in a cast for six months, and the Rebbe showed concern about every stage of the treatment.

Rabbi Aharon Chitrik, who had been standing near Rabbi Marlow when the benches fell, related that on Motzoei Simchas Torah of that year, two of Rabbi Marlow’s friends took him out of the hospital and brought him to the Rebbe’s farbrengen. The Rebbe was in the middle of a Sicha when they entered, and Rabbi Marlow stood to the side so as not to attract attention. At the conclusion of the Sicha the Rebbe looked in his direction and motioned for them to bring him up to the bima and gave him L’chaim.

In the next Sicha, the Rebbe said that this was the occasion to complete the topic that was discussed on Sukkos regarding the Chabad custom not to sleep in the Sukka. After that Sicha, Rabbi Marlow said that he realized that the Rebbe knew exactly who had asked the question about the Chabad custom of not sleeping in the Sukka. He felt that this was the Rebbe’s way of saying welcome.

On Sukkos, he acted stringently and did not go to sleep. Even in his last year, weakened by his illness, he did not get into bed from the beginning of Yom Tov until Motzoei Simchas Torah. He danced at night at the Simchas Beis HaShoeiva and at most, would nap in his office while sitting in his chair.

The Elections for the Rabbanus
On Motzoei Shabbos, the 17th of Adar 5745, Rabbi Dworkin, the Rav of Crown Heights, was nifter. Less than a year later, elections were held in which Crown Heights residents selected three Rabbonim; Rabbi Marlow, Rabbi Avrohom Osdoba, and Rabbi Yosef Heller. Rabbi Marlow was selected the mora d’asra of the community. For years previously, he had been a member of the Bais Din Rabbonei Lubavitch headed by Rabbi Dworkin.

On Erev Pesach 5747, after being elected as Rav of the community, Rabbi Hodokov, the Rebbe’s secretary, called up Rabbi Marlow and told him that the Rebbe asked that he come to 770.

Rabbi Osdoba and Rabbi Heller were there as well. Rabbi Hodokov relayed, in the Rebbe’s name, that during the year between Rabbi Dworkin’s passing and the elections, the Rebbe had sold his chometz to Rabbi Yisroel Yitzchok Piekarsky who was one of the Roshei Yeshiva in 770. Since one could not sell chometz to three Rabbonim, this year the Rebbe would again sell his chometz to Rabbi Piekarsky. However, since they were the Rabbonim of the community, the Rebbe asked that each of them be given a hundred-dollar bill.

From then on, the Rabbonim received a hundred-dollar bill from the Rebbe every Erev Pesach.

Rabbi Yitzchok Gansburg remembered that at one of the farbrengens, the Rebbe was upset that people didn’t cry out strongly enough, “Ad mosai,” referring to the golus. He asked the Rebbe, “What
does the Rebbe want from us? We are screaming, crying, and pleading!”

The Rebbe responded, “Crying?! It’s forbidden to cry on Shabbos.” Pointing in Rabbi Marlow’s direction, the Rebbe said, “Here is a Rav here who will declare that it is forbidden to cry on Shabbos.” Rabbi Marlow was standing close to Rabbi Gansburg, and he quietly said that it was forbidden to cry on Shabbos. The Rebbe was not satisfied. He asked the Rav to stand in his place and loudly announce that it was forbidden to cry on Shabbos. Only after the Rav did so did the Rebbe begin a joyous niggun, and the Farbrengen continued.

Mora Horo’o
Rabbi Shneur Zalman Lipsker, the Rebbe’s shliach in Philadelphia, recalled that in 1977 the Rebbe had already told Rabbi Marlow to become a Rav mora horo’o, issuing verdicts. This is how it came about.

In 1977 N’shei Chabad produced a cookbook, and Rabbi Marlow was the person responsible for the halachic aspects of the book. After the book was published, Rabbi Marlow gave the Rebbe a copy at a farbrengen. Rabbi Lipsker, who was standing nearby, heard the Rebbe say, “Enough already being nechba el ha’heilim,” modest and humble. “The time has come for you to be a mora horo’o to the public!”

Rabbi Yitzchok Hendel, who was the Av Bais Din and Rav of the Chabad community in Montreal, said that he once heard the Rebbe refer to Rabbi Marlow as an “Ish Halacha.”

Modesty
Once, Rabbi Marlow was waiting in a long line at the bank. Someone approached a bank officer and suggested that Rabbi Marlow should receive service promptly. Rabbi Marlow rejected the courtesy saying that this would not cause a kiddush Hashem.

When the person returned to the bank officer, telling her that the Rabbi had rejected the courtesy, she said, “Well, that is why he is the main rabbi.”

His son-in-law, Rabbi Schechter, recalled that in his last months, his father-in-law was unable to use his regular Mikva and instead used a private mikva more convenient for him. In order that the owner of the mikva should not feel rejected, he advised his grandson to use the regular mikva.

His son, Reb Yosef Yitzchok, shliach of the Rebbe in North Miami Beach, told of an occurrence when there was a dispute in his shul. During that entire time, his father refused to visit the shul, so that his visit would not be interpreted as an attempt to convince the community to side with his son.

Baal Tzedoko
Rabbi Marlow was a great Baal Tzedoko. When his secretary in the Bais Din organized the papers, he realized that many checks given to the Rav had never been deposited. When he received a check for officiating at the wedding of a family in financial difficulty, he would not deposit the check. The same thing happened when people sent checks for Pesach. When some people gave him cash, he would immediately distribute it for Tzedoko. In general, he had no interest in money.

When he was in the hospital, his daughter received a call from a woman whose son was planning to travel to yeshiva in Israel. She did not have any money for a ticket and asked for advice. Rabbi Marlow advised her to purchase a ticket, and he would arrange the payment. He paid for the ticket from his personal funds.

In his last weeks, when he was unable to distribute Tzedoko himself, he instructed his daughter to write checks in great sums for certain needy people. Actually, he distributed almost his entire salary. One recipient recalled that Rabbi Marlow would give him money as he was repaying a debt.

Consideration for another Yid
The charity expressed itself not only in money. On Hoshana Rabo morning at 9:00 A.M., an individual called telling Rabbi Marlow that the doctors wanted to remove his daughter from the respirator.

Rabbi Marlow calmed him down and told him that he would take care of it. Rabbi Marlow was on the phone until 3:00 P.M., when he successfully convinced the doctors to continue with the respirator, and that is when he went to daven.

“It is in order; I have already davened”
After Tishrei 2000, it was discovered that Rabbi Marlow had a brain tumor. Before he went to surgery, he asked his son to remind him about Maariv. Worried and concerned about his father’s condition, he forgot to remind him. It was at 4:00 A.M. when he entered his father’s room and was told, “You came to remind me about Maariv? It is in order; I have already davened.” The son analyzed the situation. “My father had just experienced a very difficult brain surgery and was in great pain. For an average person it takes weeks to recover, and he was successful in remembering, hours after his surgery, that he needed to daven Maariv!”

On Thursday night, the 20th of Sivan 5760 (2000), Rabbi Marlow was nifter. He left behind, his wife Rebbetzin Chaya; his daughter Mrs. Rivka Schechter, the wife of Horav Reb Yosef Benzion, a sofer in Crown Heights; his son Reb Yosef Yitzchok, the Rebbe’s shliach in North Miami Beach; his daughter, Mrs. Leah Shmukler, the wife of Horav Meir Shmukler, Crown Heights.

Yehi Zichro Boruch! May Rabbi Marlow, a legendary chossid known for his discipline in utilizing every spare moment for a meaningful purpose, and for sacrificing his cherished time to guide and help others as the Av Bais Din and as a Baal Tzedoko, although by nature he shunned public affairs and publicity; inspire us to share our time and energy with our fellow Jews, guide them in a spiritual sense, thereby enhancing their life and physically and spiritually.

We should speedily witness, “The ones who dwell in the dust will awaken and rejoice,” with Rabbi Marlow amongst them.