By Nechama
Recently, I’ve heard people complain about the self-centeredness of “the youth” these days. They say teens have a sense of entitlement. This summer, I was jolted by 2 emails that made me wonder if it’s actually the adults here that are paving the way for our teens to behave like this.
Before I share those, let me just make clear that I deeply appreciate everything that people on all levels of our mosdos are doing on a daily basis. The following is not meant to undermine their important work, but rather just a point of constructive criticism on something that can have long-lasting negative effects.
Email 1: The tip demand
Before summer overnight camp this year, we received an email notifying us about the suggested amounts to give as tips to staff members and the best way to transfer it directly to the counselors and waiters of my children (using Cashapp etc.).
Did I say suggested amount? Let me correct that. It didn’t really sound like a polite suggestion. More like a demand. Oh, and one camp (I have a few children, Baruch Hashem) wanted us to pay the tips in full before camp even started.
I am all for efficiency and direct deposits, but here is the catch. How do I know before camp how much I will want to tip? Is there a possibility that my child’s counselor will be so amazing that I would give more than asked? or maybe less?
It wasn’t something I thought about at the time until I went to Visiting Day at one of the camps. Not a single counselor, waiter, Learning Counselor, and Head Counselor made any sort of effort to introduce themself to me or any other parents.
They couldn’t tell us a little bit about how my child is doing camp? Share some nachas with me? Even the food delivery guy and hotel housekeeper know to smile and stick around to “earn” the tip they “deserve.” It dawned on me that these tips were looked as “es kumt em” (it is deserving to him), as we say.
Besides menschlichkeit, what’s lacking here is a basic work ethic. Very few people get paid in full before they do work and even fewer people can expect to be generously tipped for zero human interaction. This is probably the first job of these bochurim, and if such entitlement is already in place, where will this lead them in life?
Email #2: The Chessed pressure
The second email was from a Chessed program that sends high school girls to give a helping hand with homework etc at homes in the community. It’s a wonderful program that teaches kindness to the girls and helps families.
The email I saw announced that for this coming year, families who are part of the program need to give x number of gifts to the girl volunteering by them a few times a year, and that the end-of-year gift needs to be covered by parents.
Of course, people can (and even should) be recognized for the kindness and volunteering they do. And they should receive gifts of appreciation. However, if you make it mandatory, is it still considered gifts of “appreciation,” and is it still called volunteering?
How are we teaching our girls to do chessed but then to expect rewards for it? Until now, from the little that I know, girls were happy to help. It taught them so much about themselves, about working and doing for ‘others’. This email absolutely defies what we are trying to teach them. It tells them not to do anything for free or because they are a kind human. Always expect things in return.
I’m sure that those parents that feel indebted to their volunteers do gift them, either with a verbal appreciation or physical gifts, but showing our girls that they should expect things is absolutely contrary to our goal here. Is this something that the girls asked for? Or is this a sense of entitlement that is being taught to them through us, adults?
Friends, that’s how the cycle of entitlement just continues to grow.
We need to stick to what we know is right. We need to believe that our teens are better than this. This is a long and dangerous road that we are going down. Teaching them to expect things without having to work hard for them. Teaching them Middos that aren’t good. I believe that our teens see right through this and double down on it.
I don’t want to be dramatic here but take a peek into the workforce of young adults (around the country and the world). We are raising a generation that doesn’t know what commitment, dedication and hard work look like. This is our own undoing. How can we fix this?
That’s rare here. You bring a solid point. TY
My wife was saying the same thing. Good point!
Welcome to money world. Shidduchim WAS for free (tip yes but not how it’s done today),doing a favor WAS for free, saying a kind word WAS without intention but just to BE nice…. I could go on…. yes this comes from adults aka chinuch how you bring up your children – if its centered around money then the list is adding on to the email examples that you mentioned. Ince people cave in to my examples why shouldn’t they move on to yours?
True, shidduchim was never structured. However the concept of paying shadchonus gelt and paying tokens of appreciation for suggestions, and/or setting up dates was always practiced by the Rebbeim and Gedolim. Unfortunately, in today’s world of what can you do for me, often it is overlooked.
Shidduchim are still free. However, if you approach someone to actively spend hours searching for suggestions, and working through the shidduch process, it is only right and mentschlech to compensate the shadchan accordingly.
Paying shatchanis gelt is one thing. Paying for suggestions or dating wasnt done by the Rebbeim UNLESS the shidduch pulled though which equals to shatchonus gelt. You get money once the job is done like every job. Not, if there was the guy you choose for me and I didn’t want him and you want MY MONEY?! I should know, I’ve been there… shidduchim are NOT for free today!
many (probably most) shidduchim today are done through websites where the shadchan types in a few details and a list of suggestions pop up. It does not take hours and barely any work to find a resume. It takes work only if the boy/girl is interested in the random name you suggest based on an algorithm, without taking a minute to think if it actually makes sense. Majority of the suggestions I get are nothing like what I describe. Why should anyone have to pay for your two minutes of work that yielded no results?
Regarding camp staff members which work hour upon hours (two months to be exact) for your child, should also get *tipped* as you just said.
Heres one: Imagine someone decided your worth as a mother based on watching a few hours of you playing with ur kids at the park. Thats like deciding how much to tip your kids counselour based on how they smile at you on visiting day. The hours they put in are not even comparable to the few hours on visiting day Take two: The counselours dont read the emails that the camp sends home. As a counselor many moons ago, I was thrulled with whatever I got- the tips had more to do with the type of parent / how… Read more »
Aside from the fact that this entire comment seems to stem from a “chip on the shoulder”, I’d like to note that Take One is wholly inaccurate and while the other take(s) may have merit, this one has ZERO!
As most of us have been in camp, we’ve had our feedback for our parents about our counselors etc., while being biased, it s gave color – those couple hours on visiting day are usually enough to allow the parent to sniff out if their child was correct about their experience.
Even if you were just to pay the counselor 15$ hour for the time he sleeps with his bunk and is responsible for them at 8 hrs a night it would be 840$ a week they don’t get anywhere near that and they take care of and entertain your kids All day so don’t talk about it like they’re overpaid they take care of and are responsible for your kid 24/7 even if they don’t introduce themselves to you if your kid makes it through the summer and has a good time the counselor deserves a lot bigger tip and… Read more »
Why does the camp not pay enough to the counselor’s? The tipping culture is out of control. Parents pay enough for camp as it is, the demands for add on’s is outrageous.
This is exactly the problem.
Sometimes a parent could undermine the hard work it is to be a counselor. It’s like being a parent to 10-15 kids. It can be especially hard when the parent has failed to teach their kid to act like a mensch which is mostly the case. It’s not easy. Your right that camp is expensive. But imagine how meaningful it is to the counselor when he gets a nice tip and feels appreciated for all the hard work he’s done. The camp asks you to pay it because they know the money is much more meaningful when it comes from… Read more »
POV: You’re a parent to a kid in camp. You don’t have the money to tip (although I don’t get that, even $10 is nice). At least send the counselors an appreciation message! We’re calling the kids entitled? What about the parents? Paying for camp is expensive, but the counselors get a tiny fraction of your tuition. Why can’t you just send a small thank you message?
I was a counselor, and the work was extremely difficult, but I think that camps charge enough to be able to pay the counselors what they deserve, the burden should not be on the parents, the parents already pay a lot of money for Camp, and a lot of parents cannot afford to dish out even more money for tips, it was different back in the day when camps were not run like a business, as they are today.
300 in canteen is how much we get paid
Camps are costly but not lucrative. Not a profitable enterprise. The proof is in the pudding – there aren’t even enough camps. Because it’s a hole in the pocket, nobody is interested in opening them. And it’s so hard to fundraise for a camp, whereas yeshivahs are easy (relatively) to fundraise for. Hence, yeshivahs pop up all over, but new camps that open are very seldom. If I’m wrong and it’s lucrative, then you can go have fun becoming wealthy by opening a camp. Hatzlocho
I think tipping is very important even if expected. They took care of our children like their own family for weeks
and how much do parents get paid weekly for raising their own children?
The counselors aren’t your kids parents. They’re going on shluchis to fix your child’s brain from all the shtusim you put in their head.
I think you need to see a specialist to help you understand what it means to be a mother
I signed up to the chessed program.
It politely asked that we give one gift to our volunteers, a$10 gift certificate chanuka time.
Not sure what you’re talking about
She’s not talking about HOO. She’s talking about another program.
Asking for a $10 gift is fine.
The writer is talking about a different chessed program.
I think she is talking about HOO. That’s the only chessed program. The writer just blew it out of proportion. Nothing wrong with asking for a $10 gift.
Camps make enough money it’s a Buisness.
they should pay their staff and stop ‘suggesting’ us how much to tip and rely on parents to make up for their poor pay.
paying counselors $500 for two months work (most of which is spent in canteen on their campers) is a travesty
$500 in most camps would be considered big bucks
they should maybe pay more
but they dont only receive money while they are there they receive other things as well
They’re only suggesting because they actually see and know how hard the counselors are working. Sometimes it can be hard to gauge properly especially if you don’t see day to day and you haven’t been a counselor ever or in a really long time
I agree with you whole heartedly. You are right on point. However the problem is actually greater than what you address in this well written article. The problem starts higher up than teens working or volunteering. The “institutions” that are supposed to be teaching the children are part and parcel of the problem. Without naming any of the institutions, Why do the Mesivtas and Seminaries feel “entitled” to charge $20,000 USD for “Tuition” while paying their staff close to minimum wage? What message does this type of money grab send to the youth of today? Does it really cost the… Read more »
Exactly!
I didn’t get any email from a community chessed program.
However I have 2 girls who volunteer in the program. So I know whats going on.
* families are asked to buy a $10 gift for their volunteers in honor of chanuka
* sweaters are gifted to girls who volunteer at non relatives. If you want to volunteer by your relative, and you want a sweater, they charged $15.
I think it was very fair.
I was happy for one of my daughters to get it as a gift and for my other daughter, I was happy to pay.
Let’s say there’s a bocher we’ll call him Mendy Mendy invests all of his energy into his campers for 18 out of 24 hours a day Mendy is kind to them Mendy insures they are all safe and having a great time Mendy takes money out of his own small canteen allowance (called a “paycheck” by the camp) in order to take his campers out in smaller groups for late nights after lights out Mendy is also shy and dosent run over to the parents on visiting day to share some fake nachas about how their kid who is a… Read more »
I agree with everything except the shy and not wanting to greet the parents and share feedback.
If you’re shy, you have no business being a counselor. Go find a chesed program to break out of your shell.
Kids in camp deserve a lively vibrant counselor!
Secondly, my counselors shared their feedback, and if I misbehaved my parents gave it to me over the head.
Similarly, if someone under my charge was an terror, I made sure the parents (who the camper made sure to give their feedback on me…) knew exactly how their child acted.
Some people are great with kids but when it comes to talking to their parents, they suddenly get nervous. It’s 100% normal.
Kids do deserve a ‘lively vibrant counselor’ but they also deserve a responsible, caring and attentive counselor.
Sometimes, the ‘lively vibrant counselor’ may overlook the quieter kids. (This is obviously not always the case)
I’ve had vibrant, lively counselors and usually they only connect to the popular, loud girls. The quieter counselors reach other types of girls. And most counselors aren’t shy with the kids–they might be shy/intimidated with the parents.
I was that shy guy (I wasn’t a counselor, rather a learning teacher) who felt embarrassed to mill around the camp square as if I was desperate for the tips. It wasn’t an act of apathy. It’s just shyness. If you think only energizer bunnies can be nurturing to a child, whatever floats your boat.
Personally, I love the chessed program and I’m more than happy to buy my volunteers a $10 gift certificate chanuka time.
Its very reasonable.
They come every week for an hour.
I remember in my yeshiva days, that they made a mivtzah for learning the maamar אנא נסיב מלכא for Yud Alef Nissan, and had major prizes for it.
The Rosh Yeshiva pointed out how ironic it is to use rewards as a motivation for learning a ma’amar that’s all about not doing things for rewards.
I was quite surprised when I read your opinion about not having to tip your children’s counselors. Every staff member in camp works nonstop for your child, the least you could do is show them a token of appreciation. Especially the counselors who take care of your children from the wee hours in the morning to late at night–Many times pulling all nighters to organize special things to enhance your childs day to the fullest. Many camps don’t even pay their counselors so your 20 dollars goes a long way. If you are unable to give a large amount at… Read more »
You missed the ikar point of what the writer was saying. She is in favor of VOLUNTARY expressions of appreciation.
Thanks for this post. To me it seems both illustrations share a common thread. Camps don’t pay their counselors much if anything. Chessed programs don’t pay their student volunteers to do the chessed. But. Camps do charge tuition. And chessed programs raise money. Part of their financial structure is NOT to pay most of the actual ground troops. If they had to pay them, they’d probably have to charge more tuition and raise more money. So. Are counselors to work “for the inyan”? Are chessed volunteers to be volunteers? Or should they get money, but it come not from their… Read more »
We have many ridiculous things going around that are not fair. But since everyone else dose it it’s all kosher. I enrolled my kids in first grade, they charged registration fee. Why need to pay each year for registration fee.!? The answer everyone else does it. Hey… Keep the same registration, as previous year…. Its same name same job. Same parents. If I don’t continue or move to an other school you will know… This type of scam goes on and on because everyone else does it. This is just an example but there’s more to it… Counselor should be… Read more »
Stam the camp I’m in right now has the tips in cheshbon for the paycheck, so If the paycheck is 375 the director is counting on a min. of 625 from the parents. Now you have a director that won’t pay a parent that is insulted so won’t tip and the poor counselor is stuck in the middle
I don’t know what your experience was, so I can’t talk about that. But I have been a counselor for many summers, and I can tell you that in my experience not only do the staff put tremendous amounts of work into every single day and night, going far beyond anything a paid worker would do, making so many sacrifices just so that the campers are happy and have a great time. Staff usually try to introduce themselves to parents and communicate with them about their child. I’m not saying that every staff member is an automatic tzadik, but usually… Read more »
The point is that the camp should be paying their counselors more – the parents are already paying exorbitant fees.
Even if every parent in a bunk of 12 campes would give a $50 tip (wich may be considered a bit above average) the counclers would be getting $600 for a full month’s of work (24-7). job in what way is that not voluntary work. So… yeah I think the camp has a right to strongly request a small token of appreciation.
The counselors are working a job, the camp should be paying them.
You’re paying 4k max for a chabad camp.
Nonjewish camps pay 600 a week to their staff and charge parents 8k.
Tipping is optional.
Being a counselor is not a 24/7 job. Being a counselor for many years I can tell you that you have off during learning class, you have off after lights out, and you have off during some of the sports, ex swimming.
Number one they are with them during sports and swimming, number two at night and learning class many times they are working for the campers benefit the next day
how is a family Supposed to afford that I just sent 4 kids To camp add it up $50 to Counselor’s for kids That equals $400 just for counselors not to mention learning teachers waiters etc.
What a great non attacking wake up call! Well written and good context. Parents too went to camp and were counselors once upon a time, so the idea of tipping is nothing new. Suggested tipping is how it used to read but regardless the directors have to insert in their staff meetings prior to camp how to interact with the campers giving them joy and happiness thru- out their day whether it be a kind word, complimenting their achievements and/or celebrating their efforts. Yes, on visiting days, introduce themselves to the parents and family members of their campers etc. Make… Read more »
I have been a counselor in mainstream boys summer camps for the third year in a row, whoever wrote this cannot comprehend how much personal Time, personal money, and personal energy, that the counselors give to thier campers Your tip probably will help the counselor BREAK EVEN, for the personal money spent on your child. Staff literally go to bed with a massive headache and every bone sore, all with one thought in mind, the campers. When your kid is crying in middle of the night, the buchrim who are “not mentchlich, and have no work ethic” get out of… Read more »
I have to respond to this.
You don’t have to spend so much money to give the children a good summer. If you are spending all of your money it is your own choice and you don’t need to be reimbursed from the parents. If you expect a tip than you should reconsider your summer decision.
counselors do deserve tips and appreciation but the suggested amount is really way too much for a lot of families, especially with BH a lot of kinderlach
I sent 4 kids to camp this year Do the math $20 per tip for two counselors a waiter and learning teacher that’s $80 per kid if you had it up it’s 320 in just tips it’s outrageous
While some of the concerns mentioned are valid, the tone of conversation is not valid.
Regarding camp. Did you go out of your way to meet the counselor/teacher? They might be intimidated by parents. Maybe it’s your job to make that effort. Additionally, just because they didn’t say hello to you, doesn’t mean that they didn’t make an effort for your kids.
Regarding the chesed pressure. Pay the girls $10-12 an hour and then you won’t have to tip.
If you’re paying the girls, how is this being mechanich them in chesed?
I believe that the Rebbe mentioned tipping when he visited the camps.
Visiting day IS the day off for counselors from their 24/7, two month jobs. If you want to find out about your kid then email the camp. I don’t think that the writer appreciates how much work and stress is involved in a counselors job. And the reason they make a suggested amount etc. is because unfortunately parents were not tipping. I can’t tell you how degrading and unapreciated you feel after a summer of putting yourself out there for someone elses kid and then you don’t get a single token of appreciation.
Visiting day is not a day off. There are campers who don’t have visitors and just wander around camo for the whole day. Those kids need their counselor, so not a day off.
Unfortunately, although some camps are still really wonderful, some coldness and distance has started to sneak into the camp environs. It’s a shame, and the directors should take more responsibility to stop it.
There was a summer my family stayed in the City and my children attended the local day camps. I had always tipped their overnight camp counselors. It never dawned on me to tip the day camp staff until years later when one of my sons’ friends (by then a counselor in camp) mentioned it. I felt SO bad. I wish the camp had suggested it – as by then I did not even remember who the counselors had been.
look the fact is the percentage of our community living from fundraising is massive…. you do the maths
We need to separate the volunteers from the leadership of charities
It’s hard to get volunteers so they promise the kids that they will get gifts which they are demanding from parents in order to maintain the charity running so later on they will make big charity events and raise money to sponsor hefty salary
The OP is an ungrateful person. Instead of him seeking out the counselor to show appreciation for taking care of his little kid, he’s waiting for the counselor to approach him. The counselor is not working for the money, he’s working for the inyan and to have a good time. Meanwhile, the parents are paying peanuts for an amazing summer for their little kid. Most parents around the country that send their kids to overnight camp a paying 10 times what we pay at frum camps. This parent has zero appreciation for the fact that his kids counselor is working… Read more »
Like 59 cents and hour. Worst than minimum wage
Giving tips much actually teach them that basic metchlich etiquette is to tip… how many bochurim know to tip that empire kosher guy that shlepped 4 heavy boxes to your apartment on the third floor with no elevator? How many girls know that you are supposed to tip the waiter when you eat out?
When we show the youth appreciation and showing them a healthy tipping culture they may very well learn what’s the right way when they’re a bit older and paying their own bills…
It’s a stupid American tradition. In other countries its not a thing. Employers pay their employees. If you feel someone did something extra extra special then you tip. But it’s not expected which makes when you do give it more meaningful and doesn’t guilt you into it
The rebbe tipped every delivery boy!!!!!
Your showing the youth it’s all money that counts. Without money you go no where. What ever happened to saying a nice word with feeling or doing someone a favor without having intention for a return? What happened to those values?! When I tell it to today’s youth they either have no idea what I’m referring to or say I’m a “goody goody” and welcome to today’s world. Shame on those parents for only teaching children that it’s only money that counts!
I totally hear what your saying. It’s seemingly doesn’t make sense to give any additional money towards camp than the original payment you gave for the month. That is totally understandable. But I think you need to differentiate between “the camp” and “the counsler”. You should not be paying the counsler extra. You already paid for camp! You know who should be paying the counsler? THE CAMP. I can tell you from experience that the amount of tireless nights that goes into caring for your children is underestimated. The energy and devotion that every counsler invests in your children is… Read more »
This HOO program sounds awesome! I’m happy to buy my volunteers a $10 gift.
How can I sign up to get girls!
Thank you BR for the HOO program! I have no complaints. I’m so appreciative to the program. My volunteers deserve my chanuka gift. And if they wouldn’t, I wouldn’t give it.
If you are upset about $20 (2 volunteers – $10 each), dont sign up to the HOO program. They only ask the parents to give one gift throughout the entire year. And we know about it up front.
Few people have the skill of articulating things well so it is very much appreciated when someone who does have this ability takes out the time to write and bring awareness to such an important issue. Kol Hacovod
I was a hoo head and a let me just say we are very under appreciated. Thank you to the camps that send out that suggested tip amount to remind the parents to send tips. When we as counselors get tips it shows us parents care and know what we do for their children. In regards to hoo unfortunately none of the girls like doing chessed they do it anyway and we try to give incentives to help get them to go. Its important that they’re chessed family appreciate them too!
I’m not sure that you write that none of the girls like to do Chessed. Perhaps your point is that one should have Hakaras HaTov. That is very important. And it could be a letter of gratitude, a gift, tip, an acknowledgement.
Its important that we inculcate from a young age to do Chesed and in return some ppl need to learn to show more appreciation
Many people do chesed. Chesed does not necessarily mean volunteer work. A doctor, a plumber, a teacher, etc – they are all paid for their work but chazal teach that if view what they do as chesed , then it is considered as chesed.
When the rebbe visited camps he personally gave every waiter a tip!
Why’s everyone going crazy over $10..?
This article is as accurate as can be. Who ever heard of demanding “tips” up front? Would those who protest this article be willing to pay for their home repairs up front before they saw the finished product? Would they happily pay full price for poor workmanship?Do they know the definition of the word “tip?” To the commentor who likened a counselor’s job to a job for which one pays by the hour: that’s pretty inane thinking. If you were to multiply each 24 hour day by the suggested $15.00 an hour you mention you would be paying each counselor… Read more »
My son is a Councler in a certain camp and they take great care of him and all the staff and they know it’s a lot of work as I’m sure you all know … and Councler’s and young boys or girls and instead of and asking for tips gave to face which can be intimidating for a 17-20 year old the camp goes and takes that away from them and sends a nice email and dose it for them which is a big help and it makes things smooth and not awkward !! So your basically saying they should… Read more »
I just finished camp and all l have to say to all this discussion about tipping staff is please stay silent. Tipping is optional. Most non-Jewish camps charge 8k. Most Jewish camps charge 3k. Staff get paid between $200-$500. Bochurim are treated like slaves not just in Yeshiva but also with their summers. Even if it’s volunteer work it’s not right. Being staff in camp isn’t easy. Instead of complaining can you thank us? Entitled? Maybe our generation is. But selfish? Excuse me? Selfish? Majority of us go to yeshiva on our parents initiative. Learn for 14 hours a day.… Read more »
I worked in camp for the past 2 years as a counselor. I could tell you without a doubt that not a single staff member comes to camp for the money. However when a parent tips a counselor it makes him feel like a million dollars because he sees that the parent actually cares. The amount of time and devotion a staff member commits to camp is literally crazy. We work so hard to make you children have an awesome time. So a little tip of appreciate doesn’t hurt.
You say they don’t know how to work, do you actually think they are doing a bad job? If you can afford to show appreciation with tips, do it with a smile, if you can’t afford it, give a note, a chocolate bar, idk, or at least say thank you and be polite. Or say nothing…. This complaining definitely isn’t giving an example of mentchlichkeit. Our young teenagers do deserve to be treated nicely, their hard work acknowledged, especially when pay is often little or we are talking about volunteering. We, the adults are not entitled to make demands of… Read more »
A few points to share. Is this entitlement culture? No! It’s the USA “Tip Culture” totally out of hand. Sounds like needs to have a moral compass reset as a tip is always voluntary and paid ‘after’ services have been delivered. No one should be told to give, nor how much. The important thing is to show appreciation. That can be verbally a nicely written letter of thanks or a monetary gesture or gift. Flip the coin a bit…. parents should seek out their child’s counsellor to express their appreciation for what they have done as apposed to counsellor looking… Read more »
i have several children in camps, both boys and girls. As well as kids that are counselors . None of the various camps they are in “demanded tips” they just sent a suggested amo9unt with a way to pay directly . I personally appreciate it – i always find tipping at the beginning of camp beneficial t my child 🙂 . as for the non tippers, i remember from when i was a counselor which parents didnt tip, till today some 20 plus years later- it has nothing to do with money either – some of the wealthier families didnt… Read more »
Tipping is out of control. During visiting day its all about tipping and a lot of times Staff members mainly waiters but also counselors Go to camp because their friends are in this camp and they just wanna have an enjoyable summer most counselors today and waiters don’t come because they Are truly dedicated to the camp in the camper. the main reason that they come is because like Like I Mentioned just wanna have fun. If there is a counselor that is truly dedicated to the campers and shows up on time every day and Tries to engage the… Read more »
Counselors that go with groups of friends doesn’t mean that they aren’t dedicated one doesn’t necessarily equal another
Okay, obviously people want to go to a camp where they know the people who they’re working with, but that doesn’t mean that’s the only reason why they’re going. Its 100% a plus, but it’s only a reason to choose one camp over the other, not why to go to camp. If you’re wanted to be with friends, you would convince them to work with you somewhere to make good money, not having to deal with someone’s annoying child all day
The same holds true for giving Tzedaka. Nowadays it’s become all too common to spend “Maaser Money” on Chinese Auctions with the promise of “Fabulous Prizes” like jewelry, car rentals, furniture,band trips to Israel. Plus donors are wined and dined at these “Fress Fests.” What happened to giving Tzedaka for the sake of the Mitzva?
Its geulah times! How cool is it that It’s become so easy to do the great mitzvah of Tzedakah! So many more people are giving so much more Tzedakah because of all these auctions and dinners! Just another perspective 🙂
Although we always tipped our children’s counselors (even in day camp), I never realized how important it is until my own children were counselors. Especially in overnight camp, where these young girls and boys are basically working 24/7 for barely any pay. My daughter would be up all night planning activities for her campers both in day camp and overnight camp. And it also has become common practice , at least in the girls overnight camps, to make going away gifts for all their campers. And that comes from their own pocket! They really put so much time and energy… Read more »
I understand it’s not pleasant to have money demanded from you, but as a counselor I can tell you how important those tips are. Being a counselor is one of the hardest jobs! You literally exhaust yourself in every way, physically, emotionally, everything. And, you don’t get paid much at all. Of course we don’t do it for money cuz if money was The reason we would find a different job, but after all that hard work, appreciation is needed. I once was a counselor of a really hard bunk and got tipped by just two parents!!! Thats it. And… Read more »
I was a learning teacher Put it this way At least where i was it was a given that we were here on the rebbes shlichus over yeshivas kayitz Yes it’s in a way also a job but that’s totally not the point Trust me No one went for the 375$ If so then he would have to be insane But we also know which kids come from where and no one is expecting a tip as a given but i know who comes from a well off family and would definitely appreciate a tip On the other side The… Read more »
If I sign up for a job I want money. If I volunteer I want some recognition of my hard work. As a learning teacher in a mainstream camp I had to physically hold back a suicidal kid from running into the street. No problem. Not expecting the camp or the parents (both who I tried talking to and just ignored me) to pay me the big bucks or even to tip me. A nice $1 card with a note would be plenty from the parents and support in my job from the camp would be nice. But lacking both… Read more »
It is a shlichus. Seriously. Many kids take summer internships that are unpaid, in order to get skills in the area that they wish to pursue, or just for general life experience. (Of course there are laws governing unpaid internships so that they don’t become exploitative.) In the country I grew up in (not the US) we never got paid to be overnight counsellors an did it as a sign of hakaras hatov for the community organisations that gave us so much. Of course camp was much shorter, and that’s another conversation about why school ends so early and the… Read more »
I’m a counselor and any gift which shows appreciation works great
I remember the parents who wrote me thank you cards (which cost next to nothing) more than the ones who tipped a lot
Were you ever a counselor? By the way your saying this obviously not. We’ll I am, and let me tell you it’s A LOT harder then you think, show some appreciation, TIP!
I don’t think parents these days understand how much work every counselor puts in to the kids entrusted into their care mind u each one has 14 campers who r not necessarily the most well behaved we also get paid only 300$ in canteen for the whole summer so tips is the only money we rly make so therefore as an appreciation a tip for taking care of ur kid 24/7 doesn’t sound that crazy(the suggested amount is 12$ a week 50 per session)
tipping is a way of showing appreciation to staff member in camp. its especially important to tip your waiters who don’t get paid at all and actually have to pay $500.00 to come to camp. Waiters work really hard They don’t get as much appreciation as they deserve. They serve 42+ campers and 6 staff every single day 3 times a day 7 days a week no days off including Shabbos and fast days it’s a really demanding stressful job and requires lots of patience to satisfy the needs of each individual camper… it’s a full time job starting with… Read more »
I have been around the world/ worked in different camps and schools and I have never seen as much entitlement as I do in American teens today, it’s very unfortunate because this is not how the real world works.
bs”d What a miracle there even is camp this year, after the last two summers… would you like to be 18 again and not know if you will get a shidduch, and if you ever will have children of your own, or if you even will be alive next year due to more epidemics, street terrorism, unreasonably strict laws in Diaspora, etc… you must be taking your security as an adult who is married and has children for granted. Then, please don’t. You were yotzei the mitzvos of getting married and having children, but these young people haven’t gotten there… Read more »