Monday, 3 Tishri, 5784
  |  September 18, 2023

“Your Son Isn’t Our Responsibility, Our Mosad Is”

From the COLlive inbox: "I know that my son is not the only one, subject to this modern-day "selection" in which a deaf movement of the thumb decides whether he lives and grows up," writes a father and Shliach. Full Story

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Boy who needs a fair chance
March 28, 2023 11:41 pm

It’s a pathetically corrupt system!

This is so painful
March 28, 2023 11:41 pm

I hear you and feel for you. Thank you for pointing this out.

Side note, might I ask that you please not bring Holocaust comparisons? Never a good idea.

I agree
Reply to  This is so painful
March 29, 2023 11:01 am

I agree that holocaust is a very heavy strong word. But for this child that’s exactly what it is! Unfortunately that’s the reality

Truth or sheker
Reply to  I agree
March 30, 2023 2:24 am

Each person has their personal holocaust in this world. So some have it easier here, I guess less of a tikkun. But it’s difficult no matter how you slice it. No we are not walking by mass Graves on our way to slave labor, or our families killed in front of us, however some of us do have extreme suffering in this world.

Its obvious....
March 28, 2023 11:50 pm

These “directors ” have been around since over 15 years ago… welcome to the reality of a child (even a regular child) being not accepted into high school. It has nothing what to do with their “chassidishkeit” – it has to do with fortune and fame which lead to entering shidduchim. So they “only want the best” or for benefit reasons. They choose that over chassidishkeit. What I’ll suggest is: if that’s what the school means to them after 2 years of having your son, better you found out now then later… In reality: your son accomplished his tzimtzum there… Read more »

Truth or sheker
Reply to  Its obvious....
March 30, 2023 2:28 am

What goes up, must come down. What goes around comes around. Mieda kannada mieda. Amen to that holy brother.

March 28, 2023 11:56 pm

We need true leadership.

I run an organisation working on this very issue!
March 29, 2023 12:00 am

Please get in touch with me! 404-358-5098

Feel terrible for you
March 29, 2023 12:00 am

So sorry to read this😢

I run an organisation working on this very issue!
March 29, 2023 12:02 am

Please reach out! Noach 404-358-5098

Very Sad
March 29, 2023 12:04 am

It seems that Chassidim are having a huge problem, That problem is that if you don’t fit into a certain box “frum for a few generations, able-bodied, wealthy quote unquote normal” then you are an outcast. It seems that the messages the Rebbe gave of caring for one other has totally gone out the window. I’m shocked by the behavior of many, especially in 770 where people treat each other like animals. Why are we like this? Do we not understand any of the Chassidus Chabad hoaras that go back to the basics in the Tanya teaching us to love… Read more »

Reply to  Very Sad
March 29, 2023 11:51 am

Sadly very accurate. My parents are BT, and growing up getting accepted to camps as a staff, or yeshivas was always a challenge. I was (or am) what you would consider mainstream, so it wasn’t that. It’s that people doing the accepting never heard of me, or my parents, and weren’t looking to take a gamble. One year in order to get accepted to an overnight camp as a counselor, I chose to sign up with a co-counselor who was from a well known lubavitch family… at first they accepted him, and rejected me, asking him to find a different… Read more »

Disagree with the camp part
Reply to  Moshe
March 29, 2023 1:23 pm

The head staff are the ones accepting counselors. If they took your co and not you it’s not because of your family. The 20-21 bochurim who choose the counselors don’t care who your parents are. They care about what they heard about you

Reply to  Disagree with the camp part
March 29, 2023 5:06 pm

The head staff were 22/23 while I was 18, most bochurim that age do not know 18 year olds, nor do they have time to research over 100+ sign ups. I don’t think they concisely rejected me because of my family, rather subconsciously accepted bochurim who had name recognition since it seems like a safer bet if you heard the name before, know brothers, cousins etc Subconscious, or conscience, the end result is the same. There’s a reason the Torah says “Ve’Ahavta es ha’ger” so that people will make a conscience effort to help those who may need more support.… Read more »

It's heart breaking
March 29, 2023 12:07 am

Heads of Mosdos in Lubavitch forgot the Rebbe is the boss

Special needs
March 29, 2023 12:17 am

Perhaps it’s time for a special needs Yeshiva?
A program designed to help these boys thrive!
Not sitting for 13 hours a day.

The tone of the email portrays our Yeshivos very negatively.
Mesivtos know what they are capable of. Ever think they actually have your child’s best interest in mind?
To compare this to “selection” is a low blow and deplorable.

Wishing everyone brochos.

Let "them" thrive
Reply to  Special needs
March 29, 2023 8:44 am

Special needs is broad, overarching category that fits many type of people. A school that works for one child with special needs won’t work for another.

Many children with special needs are perfectly capable of sitting and learning for 13 hours a day. It doesn’t sound like thats the issue.

Couldn't agree more
Reply to  Let "them" thrive
March 29, 2023 10:42 am

Saying that all children should just be grouped together and taken care of in their own “special” school is a cop-out. The schools out there for “special needs” don’t necessarily match what every child need socially and emotionally. It’s time for schools and teachers to learn skills to individualize education for all!

"Special needs" "special schools"
Reply to  Special needs
March 29, 2023 10:28 am

Too many people nowadays categorized as special needs

Reply to  Special needs
March 29, 2023 10:31 am

What’s deplorable is to call a hurting father who was treated badly, deplorable. Our own Rebbeim have used what I guess you’d consider to be excessive hyperbole. Like calling secularism worse than the genocidal goyim who sought our annihilation, because they destroy souls, worse than destruction of bodies.

This man’s indignation is righteous, and had it been your child treated that way, you can manage your tongue better?

Thank you
Reply to  Deplorable
March 29, 2023 8:47 pm

I couldn’t have said it better! My heart breaks for this father, this could be happening to any of us

It's Complex
Reply to  Special needs
March 29, 2023 11:58 am

In other kreizen, they have professionals on staff that understand different types of mental health diagnoses and learning disabilities. They know if the school is capable of accepting a certain type of student. They also know that the students they are accepting have an excellent likelihood of thriving in that environment. They have guidance counselors and psychologists on staff that support each student’s needs. That’s why you’ll see many kids with dyslexia thriving in mainstream schools because those schools have the proper infrastructure. We unfortunately don’t have this. Our model hasn’t changed much over time and instead, we have Mashpim,… Read more »

Reply to  It's Complex
March 29, 2023 8:52 pm

Most articulate post on this issue.

Darchai Menachem
Reply to  Special needs
March 29, 2023 1:04 pm

Mesivta Darchai Menachem.
A hidden gem in Lubavitch.

Special needs
Reply to  Special needs
March 30, 2023 12:46 pm

All Jewish kids have ‘special needs’: they need melamdim that love them so much and care about them so much that they, the kids, will call them ‘father’. They need Hanhalos that act as shluchei hatzibur and not shluchei some board or whatever, and base their decision on Ahavas Yisroel. So this kid will be a challenge? Good! The whole class will benefit from the extra care and excitement the melamed puts into his work. Besides, what’s the question? He is “our” kid, isn’t he? Banecha elu hatalmidim, remember? Unless you just don’t believe in that. So tell us, dear… Read more »

March 29, 2023 12:17 am

Shocking !!!
Shame on this “Mashpia” director. אוי מה היה לנו….
Sadly, the entire purpose of what our holy Rebbeim have taught and done is at risk with the present day ‘non-profit’ “Misodos”….
Time to throw out the bums and start over with an elected board on each and every so called Non-profit institution.
Time to change the guard and stop the damage.
Sadly, the school system in our circles have become a currency production entity.
And please don’t tell me the cost of living in Tzfas…. when the teachers are getting $10 per hour….

March 29, 2023 12:24 am

This is the only Mesivta in lubavitch that has a selection process like the Rebbe wants.
All other mesivtas in lubavitch have the litvish selection style!!! FACT!!!

Reply to  OT MESIVTA
March 29, 2023 9:20 am

Chovevei Torah Mesivta

Reply to  OT MESIVTA
March 29, 2023 10:50 am

Can you share the details of what that process is?

Reply to  OT MESIVTA
March 29, 2023 8:03 pm


Aggravated bubby
March 29, 2023 12:43 am

Please identify the moisad you are writing about, so that we should know where not to contribute a dime. They have zero mentchlichkeit. The Aibishter should bless each and every one of these mechanchim, with one challenging child or einikel, so that they should understand and feel for another. The Aibishter should bentch you with much Yiddish, chassidishe Nachas from all your children. Send a “Pan” to the ohel asking for a brocha for these mechanchim, that they should be zoiche and matzliach to work with all Yiddish neshamos.

Business is Business
March 29, 2023 1:03 am

The mossod is a Business and only wants good customers.

March 29, 2023 1:03 am

So sorry for your pain. Please consider the mesivta in Pittsburgh. They are very accommodating. Our son made it through with dyslexia.

How is this happening
March 29, 2023 1:05 am

Even when H’ said something Moshe rabbeinu didnt hesitate to tell Him “no. I DONT ACCEPT YOUR ANSWER”
Offer $ (maybe get some high up people on your behalf) and it should work. Sadly..
Hatzlacha and be firm that one human cannot decide your son’s future and things are up to H’.. it easy to say but be strong and H’ will matzliach you lemaala min hatevah bateva, moshiach now

Very sad
March 29, 2023 1:06 am

Unfortunately its the way it is. School boards and principals think they are qualified while they are just people voicing their opinions.

I’m so sorry
March 29, 2023 1:08 am

Absolutely heartbreaking.

Maybe not ideal but
March 29, 2023 1:12 am

Have you tried sending him to a non-chabad school?

The day that that becomes the "solution"
Reply to  Maybe not ideal but
March 29, 2023 5:09 pm

The Rabbeim, all of them, gave every bit of energy for Chinuch. Chasidim died in Russia to make underground chadorim and now we have become the worst? Look to the online ones that are doing everything to help each child or to the good ones in other towns that are as well.

Reply to  The day that that becomes the "solution"
March 29, 2023 11:28 pm

Just because it’s not chabad that doesn’t mean it’s the worst

Very frustrating, but not surprised
March 29, 2023 1:16 am

This scenario indicates ignorance about dyslexia. There unfortunately are no trainings or explanations given to socalled educators within this system. This is so wrong, especially because most children with dyslexia have above average intelligence. These children are so misunderstood, undeservedly so. I wouldn’t even want my child to attend such a school, because they would do more harm than good. In public schools there are mandatory procedures in place and advocates available. At any rate,wouldn’t the goal incorporate a basic desire to understand the student and provide an education through which they can thrive? And with the appropriate approach they… Read more »

public schools these days
Reply to  Very frustrating, but not surprised
March 30, 2023 12:51 am

they might teach your kid how to read, or-not
but they will defintely mess up your child’s innocence and understanding of truth, stay far away

Feeling your pain for your son
March 29, 2023 1:44 am

I feel the pain of all dads just trying to do the best for their sons .. Be it in learning .. social .. financial .. hiskashrus .. on all levels … I wish the blessing of empathy on all who deal with fathers trying their best

March 29, 2023 1:53 am

Glad you spoke up to them and had this posted here!

You seem like a real hands-on parent and very aware of your bachur’s capabilities.

Just because he can’t learn the typical way doesn’t mean he should be denied a Chassidish environment and Havana learning. He deserves a chance. You’re not abandoning your son to them.

With such attitude, do you want your son there?

I hope and pray you will find the right school that will treat you and your son with, at minimum, human decency.

March 29, 2023 2:03 am

Heart Breaking! This is the tragic result of when people serve them selfs and community norms, and disguise it with the service of G-d .

My heart breaks
March 29, 2023 2:24 am

I wish I could communicate with you directly, as I have BTDT, albeit 25 years ago. My son had a dual diagnosis of ADD/Dyslexia. He was humiliated by his Rebbi, bullied by classmates, ignored by his principal (who, incidentally, prevented my younger son getting into his school of choice out of pure venom.) I can’t speak to the system today. It is appalling. But I can perhaps suggest some coping mechanisms that will give your son confidence to keep on track. Firstly, I hope he is getting therapy to understand he is not a failure. It’s clear you and your… Read more »

Yeshiva application
March 29, 2023 6:11 am

Last year I applied for my teen son to go to Yeshiva for the first time, my son is the most Chasidish capable high level learning boy who learns day and night, does Mivtzoim and Shlichus, leins, has regular Shiurim that he teaches non frum boys and Litvish boys, has regular learning sessions with chashuv rabanim across town , excellent Midos, not into Gashmiyus, kochs in the Rebbes Inyanim, and I had his Mashpia and many other Rabanim who know him well phone for us and he was rejected , I was gutted, the only reason I can guess at… Read more »

That's really tough!
Reply to  Yeshiva application
March 29, 2023 12:23 pm

I’m really sorry your son was issued a diploma in rejection.

As I imagine most Farhers go, the farharher tries to lower the tension with small talk. I would doubt that the conversation started like this “Shalom Aleichem Mendel, have a seat…” Sits down. “So what’s your mother’s maiden name?”
Regardless, your frustration is valid and shared by many other’s as well.
As a Wise man once told me “M’darf Ufheren farlozen zich Oif Mofsim Un zich Shtelin Zugen Tehillim”

Kan tziva
March 29, 2023 6:15 am

Not sure where you live but my son had some disabilities and he had a very understanding Menahel at Yeshiva Tomchei Tmimim in Queens. Some years they had a p3 or we paid out of pocket for some tutoring. If you found tutors to travel to queens from CH so they would accommodate. When we found a speech provider they let him have the sessions. But mostly the yeshiva was a really good environment Chassidishkeitand socially if you choose to let the learning be as whatever it ends up being. Again the Menahel was very understanding.

Just me
March 29, 2023 8:05 am

Our system is over 100 years old and needs major overhaul for majority of the students. They end up being illiterate in three languages.

This is Darchai Menachem's specialty
March 29, 2023 8:23 am

I’m not sure where you live, but Darchai Menachem Mesivta offers a great yeshiva for Bochrim with learning challenges

March 29, 2023 8:40 am

This really hurts. I hope you and your son can get through this challenge in a way that you thrive even more than before.

that is not a moysad of the rebbe
March 29, 2023 9:06 am

bez”h someone will open a moysad of the rebbe in your area. a moysad of the rebbe follows the instructions of the rebbe, and those include accept all talmidim, not even being limited by space.

but it was nice to hear you describe someone who is not a chossid of the rebbe but davens and learns like a yid, not all litvaks reach that level. maybe one day he will become a chossid of the rebbe, or at least make the attempt.

Reply to  that is not a moysad of the rebbe
March 29, 2023 3:19 pm

how could you say that. Disgusting. Because a boy wasn’t accepted, based on the fact that he simply doesn’t belong in that style yeshiva, and clearly that’s being overlooked. you have the right to go and call a Shliach and someone who devotes his entire life to the rebbes work, not a Chassid. You yourself are the biggest anti the rebbes inyanim , to go out and call a head shliach, not a chassid of the rebbe. You need to know the circumstances, and the situation before you make such a post.

Reply to  Wow
March 29, 2023 5:54 pm

If the circumstances are AS IT IS and for some go through it with a harsher outcome of directors going behind the person’s back, spreading gossip not to take that child, now will you STILL say hes a chassid of our Rebbe?! Learn life! He might be a chassid of “a Rebbe of lubavitch ” but definitely not our Rebbe.

Actually you're spot on
Reply to  that is not a moysad of the rebbe
March 29, 2023 5:15 pm

A chosid of the Rebbe doesn’t throw out the most central and important thing to all 7 (9, even 10 – In Mem Ches the Rebbe posed a question as to why Rov Menachem Mendel Horodoker wasn’t on the Shalsheles HaNesiim) gave everything for. A chosid doesn’t throw out what chasidim in Russia were killed for.

We just had this with a major Chabad tat in Israel
March 29, 2023 9:07 am

In our case the learning wasn’t the issue, it was behavioral challenges which are mostly controlled by medication. And we were approved for a shadow. ANGELS helped force the tat to give a trial period and BH he did well and was signed up before the trial period ended. What a waste of months.

You are not alone. And this rejection shtick is not what the Rebbe wants.

Problem: Attitude today
March 29, 2023 9:17 am

“Getting to the top, being the best ” is the modern goal – education, businerss, sports, entertainment, politics, everywhere. Unfortunately this has filtered to all aspects of the frum world. No longer is the goal to be a mench, a “gutter yid,” a true chosid. How a people dress, make a simcha, follow the latest “lifestyle” trend seems to be the most important factors in our world.  No longer is the goal to be a mench, a “gutter yid,” a true chosid. The “reputation” of a mosad or organization as being A-1 is seen as the utimate goal. As a… Read more »

I’m so sorry!
March 29, 2023 9:18 am

I just can’t believe that someone who holds that position can use those words. A true reflection of his inner self. A phony. Looks the part.

The when asked to donate and rest assured they wil
Reply to  I’m so sorry!
March 29, 2023 4:40 pm

you’re Moisad is not our responsibility , my family and friends are.



With the old breed
March 29, 2023 9:26 am

Hello I had the same challenges with my children, I did what had to be done. I did my job as a father and went to a Rov and did what the Rov said, today I am a grandfather and my sons are a Kiddish Ha’shem. Now saying that you all should know that this means I took my son out of our system, some people will never understand or care, that is their problem and I feel for their families who will have to deal with their trail of pain and despair. I grew up in a different time.… Read more »

March 29, 2023 9:34 am

Time to stop the madness. Time for parents to elect the board of directors. Time for the parents to know where their hard earned money is going. There is absolutely no reason Seminary should cost $20,000 US dollars especially when the same school charges Israeli students $2,000. Why are Americans being charged 10 times! The cost to Israeli students! Shame on these “Mosidos”. These seminaries are the ones that started the thievery of ripping off parents and hurting people, now the Yeshivos are doing the same… SAD reality … There is a wealthy family who went into the school ‘Non-profit’… Read more »

Seminary prices
Reply to  Mendel
March 29, 2023 4:12 pm

Seminary prices are not $20,000 anymore.
They are now north of $30,000

Education has become a busine$$ who provides a consumer product.

Reply to  Mendel
March 29, 2023 9:19 pm

Uummmm I don’t know if you are aware…. This article is about Yeshivah acceptances. Where did the price of sem come in. I think maybe your mixed up with another op-Ed. It’s fine I totally get it. It’s confusing. I also have a really bad sense of direction.

Another (maybe) perspective
March 29, 2023 9:52 am

Let’s close our eyes for a minute and imagine the ideal Yeshiva. 12 Bochurim per class with a dedicated, smart and trained Mashpia and Maggid Shiur. The Gashmius is amazing. There are great trips and prizes, rewarding all good behaviour. Every Bochur is inspired and loves Yeshiva. The building magically expands as more and more people apply. Everyone is accepted and put in a class for their level while also not feeling humiliated for being the “dumb” class. No Bochur is turned away and everyone is happy. Gan Eden Mamosh!! Ok, now open your eyes and re-enter Olam Hazeh Hagashmi.… Read more »

Reply to  Another (maybe) perspective
March 29, 2023 10:31 am

Shame on you for minimizing this into a FFB vs BT, thereby excusing the behavior of this terrible self appointed ‘Menahel’. The school system in our community needs accountability. This is a must. It is effecting every part of our community.

Time to take back the schools!
Time to elect a school board! which then hires the best man for the job! STOP NEPOTISM. STOP THE STEAL.

not what another (maybe) perspective meant
Reply to  Shmulik
March 29, 2023 6:10 pm

Read it again. FFB vs. BT was only an example. The point being made is that there is more than one way to look at it.

You do have a point if…
Reply to  Another (maybe) perspective
March 29, 2023 9:40 pm

If the Father was told “your son is a great boy. We love him. Your son is a brilliant boy with a different stile of learning. There are just so many applications and we think it would be fair to give the spot to a child who requires less resources”. then your point would be valid. However this article Indicates something more like. “ your son is not our problem (A.K.A we don’t care) and something along the lines of “we don’t aprishitae your son (a.k.a a Neshama and the Rebbes child) he’s not capable or worth our while”

Local students should have priority
Reply to  Another (maybe) perspective
March 30, 2023 6:08 am

Local students should have priority over out of town students. Also current students should come before new students.

Where should he now send his son? Why should an out of town student take priority?

Name and Shame
March 29, 2023 10:11 am

These schools, mestivats etc should be named so that everyone knows to stay away from them.
I am dealing with this myself. My 9 year old begs to go to one of the local schools, but because he struggles a little academically i have to send him out of the schuchanh.
Its not just mesivtas who reject kids based on if the kid may need some extra attention, or because the families cant afford full tuition. Its a disgrace!
The damage done to these kids is incalculable!

been and done that
March 29, 2023 10:17 am

i heard a story about a young bocher was caught smoking.the hanhola called up the father and told him that he must be influence him to stop.The father answered I don’t understand none of his brothers smoke seeing that they are younger, I defiantly have never smoked ,my son is in yeshivah from 7.30 am till 9.30 pm, every day,if I’m lucky I mignt see him for kiddish friday night ,and from what i hear a few rebbes smoke ,(one even in class),so tell me who is more responsible for my sons smoking behavior. The rabbi’s should have more influence… Read more »

March 29, 2023 10:40 am

I hope that your son becomes a multi multi billionaire and they rue the day that they rejected him.

The when asked to donate and rest assured they wil
Reply to  Saddened
March 29, 2023 4:35 pm

The reply should be “you’re Moisad is not our responsibility , my family and friends are.


Even better

He should give with breite hent.
The best revenge is when our ‘reject’ kids turn out even better than the people who pushed them down.
Really they’re already better.
If this kid has overcome so many obstacles to learn, he’s going to keep going lechatchila ariber. One day his name will be on the wall of that moisad. Or even better, he’ll be hired as a mashpia there.
אבן מאסו הבונים היתה לראש פינה

Actually you're spot on
Reply to  Saddened
March 29, 2023 5:22 pm

Do they care about their Olam Habo or about one day facing Kvod Kedushas AdMo”R ?

Reading between the lines
March 29, 2023 11:51 am

I have a sister with mild-medium dyslexia. I have a daughter with mild-medium dyslexia. I spent 9 years in the Yeshiva system, with a few Bochurim with dyslexia. Indeed it is harder for them, but in most cases they are capable of making it through with dedication and effort and usually the Hanhala are understanding and helpful (though unfortunately untrained). Then I have a brother with severe dyslexia, but also with slowed mental, emotional and behavioural growth. He is a sweet boy and behaves well, but he was never really able to adapt. He always kind of needed a different… Read more »

Same issue in the girls high schools
March 29, 2023 12:22 pm

Many people in leadership positions are not nice and don’t know how to be there for girls who need a little extra attention. They only like the kids who already are confident.

Not in the way of the Rebbeim.

The ones who really follow in the ways of the Rebbeim of true ahavas yisroel are few and far between.

It’s time for a change and return to the true ways of the Rebbe and caring for another yid.

Why is it that people have to wait till the kids go off the derech and then they finally wake up.

Excuse me for going even further
Reply to  Same issue in the girls high schools
March 29, 2023 12:59 pm

Even when they go off the derech, they whine and complain and after thats done, they label the person they are no longer chabad and by that throwing them out of the community JUST BECAUSE THEY KNOW THE TRUTH!

You go into Chinuch
Reply to  Same issue in the girls high schools
March 29, 2023 9:46 pm

Mechanchim are underrated just being in their position is mesiras Nefesh. You try working in a school and getting everything perfect before you post this.

March 29, 2023 1:38 pm

Why on earth would a Yeshiva that calls itself the “Rebbes” mosad act this way!!! It’s simply outrageous!! Ignorance of what dyslexia is & how they treat such Bochurim or girls should be accounted for! The Yeshiva system is & should be responsible! How dare they say that a mere child of 14 go to work instead of being in Yeshiva! If the Rebbe would physically be here they wouldn’t dare act this way!!! Who knows if this Bochur will grow up to be the next Rambam for he too had signs of dyslexia. This is sooo wrong on so… Read more »

Actually you're spot on
Reply to  Outrageous!
March 29, 2023 5:25 pm

95% of the time dyslexia just results in having to take more time and focus more when reading words (starting with letter and nekuda by letter and nekuda when learning kriah) and such a mind excels at iyun and in taking learning to heart – literally excelling in these areas.

To Actually You're Spot On
Reply to  Actually you're spot on
April 3, 2023 7:16 am

Actually more time and focus is not the answer for a person with dyslexia. Dyslexia needs to be professionally assessed. The instruction requires a specialized approach, because language is processed in a certain way. It is possible that a slower pace and more focus is effective for others with different challenges, but not true dyslexia.

Give him a chance
March 29, 2023 2:13 pm

One of my kids had similar issues. He was well behaved & was a good auditory learner. He had trouble reading hebrew & learning text inside. Back then, our moisdos were even less accommodating. After eight grade he did online school for English & learned with a tutor. He went on to college & law school. He is now bh a successful lawyer I feel like if he made it this far in limudei chol, he could have succeeded more in learning if he had been given more accommodation and understanding in cheder and options for mesivta.

Two class system in Lubavitch today
March 29, 2023 4:24 pm

Slowly everyone is waking up to the reality that there is currently a 2 class system in Lubavitch: Blue Chip Chabad: those who are “ in” I.e accepted in schools without begging, included in shiduchim desirability, and accepted into camps / seminaries when applied to. The coach class of chabad: Treated as mass market consumers with a dime a dozen mentality. A Mesivta that has 50 applications for 25 spots has an attitude of smugness. Maybe it’s human nature. Camps charge 5-6 a summer now. It’s reality. Seminaries are north of 30,000 – and you have to find your own… Read more »

Start your own Yeshiva in your living room with ot
March 29, 2023 4:31 pm

Keep fighting and get others involved to help you fight for your Lubavitch Rebbe’s rights, advice and blessings. Meanwhile, temporarily start your own Yeshiva with others in the same boat, in your living room so that no one misses learning. Should you take this to a Din Torah? Get permission to go to a court? If the school’s donors could find out about this, they could help too! What do they donate for!

online may be option
March 29, 2023 5:04 pm

There are some dedicated online chedorim. For example, Online Cheder – TorahChinuch goes out of its way to accommodate and work with parents. The best way to fix a broken system is to find the good examples and work with them to make the situation better for everyone.

So sick of this!
March 29, 2023 5:58 pm

The Rebbe told schools to except everyone and I’m still really hurt that a well known school in Crown Heights rejected my 3 year old daughter just because she needs therapy even though I offered to help find all the therapists she needs and btw the Rebbe davka told that moised that they should except everyone! Ever since ppl don’t see the Rebbe they don’t follow what the Rebbe said! I’m so sick of ppl using the Rebbes name for only when it suits them like for fundraising!

couple of points
March 30, 2023 1:21 am

1-As a side note, no one seems to question if everything in the article is 100% accurate or not. Not saying it is or isn’t, but we read something and then just decide everything is true, just-because-we-read-it….something to think about. 2-In any given situation, we don’t know the full situation, especially when we are not personally involved. 3-I think while we need to work on improving, it is extremely important to stop bashing schools in this way where we issue blanket statements across the board, as in: ALL chabad schools are…, or EVERYONE in that school is this or that…… Read more »

Truth or sheker
March 30, 2023 2:20 am

I must say that I am very, very happy and proud of you for for writing this letter. I am in a similar situation, but with neighbors. Not in crown heights. Neighbors who know something is off, something is not perfect about my child. Adults have been cruel to me, with a good name, etc. Only in the world to come will we really see the truth of anyone. Regarding his school, not as bad as your situation, but close. It’s galus, hearts are stone now. I ask that same question what are our children supposed to do? ?

Discrimination based on disability is against the.
March 30, 2023 7:25 am

The federal Disability Discrimination Act 1992 covers both public and private schools. The legislation makes it clear that a school cannot refuse enrolment because of the child’s disability or offer enrolment on less favourable terms.

Under the act, a school can only refuse enrolment if it would cause an unreasonable level of difficulty – “unjustifiable hardship” – to enrol the child.

Discrimination based on disability is against the
March 30, 2023 7:27 am

The federal Disability Discrimination Act 1992 covers both public and private schools. The legislation makes it clear that a school cannot refuse enrolment because of the child’s disability or offer enrolment on less favourable terms.

Under the act, a school can only refuse enrolment if it would cause an unreasonable level of difficulty – “unjustifiable hardship” – to enrol the child.

March 30, 2023 12:38 pm

The reason for which we do the Mayim Acharonim is so if there were to be a bit of salt from Sdom in our food, we shouldn’t get it in our eyes we we sometimes rub our eyes with our fingers. Because then we could have ‘Sdom sight’ and be blind to the wellfare and the needs of the others. As we know, in Sdom they only had beds of one size for the unfortunate ‘guests’ who would venture there. If the guest was too tall and his legs didn’t fit into the bed, they would cut off his feet.… Read more »

My Father Belonged to Chassidim
March 30, 2023 1:48 pm

His responsibility is to his Mossed, which if it’s a Chabad mossed belongs to the Rebbe who belongs to Chassidim….

Dear father if you are reading this.
It is clear from the Rebbe’s answers throughout the years that a Talmid is the responsibility of the current Mossed. Many times Bachurim wanted to move to a different yeshivah almost always the answer was you need to consult your current Hanhalah.

A wonderful idea
March 31, 2023 11:17 am

As a mechanech, I have a great idea for the author of this article and the many who agree with him. Open your own mosad, staffed by nice and understanding people who will treat your son well and fulfill your dreams. I say this with only a bit of irony as an underpaid mechanech who could make much more money on the open market. At a certain point when assailed by the mob, many mechanchim say – is it even worth the trouble? Furthermore, please never judge a menahel until you have sat in their shoes, the late nights, the… Read more »

To A Wonderful Idea
Reply to  A wonderful idea
April 2, 2023 3:02 am

I think you are missing the point, though. It’s not that your efforts and time are not appreciated, it’s that there is a basic need for a depth ,of understanding in regard to children who might not learn in the way some educators want them to. We all do not learn best in the same way. That is a fact based on in- depth studies about learning and the mind! The lack of knowledge in this area is not unique to Yeshivas: however, there is evidence that some Yeshivas are not up to par with training in this area. Openness… Read more »

April 2, 2023 6:21 am

big loss for the mosad–educating bucharim that we are all on a team [in military terms–a unit] and each one has his own way to add to the whole. and that we all bring up the apparant stragglers –the whole isgreatr than the parts. they are correct the mosad is thier responsibility–and accepting this boy and guiding the more adcvanced bucherim to recognize thier responsibility to the “weaker link” would have been a great opportunity for the mosad and those “advanced” bocherim