By E. B.
The plane is on the runway. I’m taking off to New York for yet another Gimmel Tammuz. I sit in disbelief and say this cannot be! I try to stay focused and remember your promise to us, “the time of your redemption has arrived.”
Rebbe, I remember your promise but the years have been so bittersweet since you have gone. So much sorrow and pain; so many tests. Ad Masai!
Once again I have come to you on Gimmel Tammuz. The lines are as long as the night. A certain stillness can be felt in the air. We’re all in line, respectfully silent, we look at each other and no words can possibly express our feelings of longing to see our Rebbe again. The only sounds that can be heard are from the monitors overhead. Videos of your farbregens are shown, and it is our only relief and physical contact with you.
Nostalgically we remember the good old days when we would farbreng with our Rebbe, have the merit to receive a bracha and bask in your radiant warmth, smile and holiness.
As we inch closer to the Ohel a part of me wants to wake up from this long Golus, chase away the night and see the dawn of the Geula. Among us, those who wait in line, the feeling of achdus reigns as hundreds and thousands of Chasidim mark the Yartzeit with respect.
I wrote a letter to you, a pon, expressing and requesting the deepest desires of my heart that only you, our Rebbe, can feel as a father for a child. On this auspicious day all the doors to blessings are wide open. We only have to ask for all the blessings we need.
Please send us Moshaich now. Let us only know good health, true Chasidishe nachas from our children and livelihood in abundance. I just want to live to serve Hashem and do the Rebbe’s wishes all the days of my life with my loved ones. Show us only open and revealed goodness and kindness from the Hashem.
As we enter the Ohel we are given two minutes to read our pon. Only you, Rebbe, can read our minds and hearts in a two minute message. I read my letter to you, tear it, and place it upon your gravesite as thousands have done throughout the night.
My eyes glance upon the snowy white blanket of torn papers. A baby cries into the dark night expressing our true feelings.
May we all merit to be reunited with our Rebbe NOW!