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Saturday, 20 Iyyar, 5779
  |  May 25, 2019

    Why I Won’t Embarrass My Bullies

    From the COLlive inbox: An 11-year-old elementary school student says he's being bullied but won't reveal their names to the public. Full Story

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    WOW!!!!!
    Guest
    WOW!!!!!

    This piece was written by an 11 year old in lubavitch yeshiva??? I’m certain he doesn’t live in Crown Heights.But my son is going through the same thing in Crown Heights.Any good advise???

    Chaya
    Guest
    Chaya

    I would speak to the teacher

    Well written.
    Guest
    Well written.

    What I’m most impressed about is how you don’t bully back cause you know how it feels. You know There’s two types of people 1. Those who feel the need to make others suffer cause they’re suffering 2. Those who know how it feels and would never wish it on anyone.
    With your outlook you’ll make it far in life:)

    Dear Mommy
    Guest
    Dear Mommy

    Next time, let your son use his own words, spelling errors & all. The message will be stronger. As for healing….don’t be so sure it will happen. I should know, I am over 60 years old & the bullying I suffered as a child left permanent scars. I respond differently to things than my peers even today. Remember, in those days, you didn’t tell anyone & if you did, your parents wouldn’t know what to do anyway. My parents told me to ignore the bullies. That really helped (sarcasm) Today, there are resources in and out of school to combat… Read more »

    Who wrote this?
    Guest
    Who wrote this?

    Anyway. If someone bullies you, you hit them in the face as strong as you can.

    You take the biggest one, and you punch him right in the face.

    You will get a little suspension from school, and when you come back…. no more bullying!

    You will tell this story forever.

    Don’t be nice to mean people, it’s not a holy thing.

    sadly been there
    Guest
    sadly been there

    you must tell your parents, i know its hard it took me about 2 years to tell my parents. They love you and want the best for you! I will never forget the face on my mother when i finally told them and the tears that came down from her eyes. Also be strong! This will make you a better person……..you already sound so mature for your age. lastly there must be some kids that are “uncool” and “unpopular” befriend them, they would love to hang out with you and you need there friendship. BTW the apple usually dose not… Read more »

    Sasha
    Guest
    Sasha

    Im sorry that you going trough this… its not easy!
    Keep doing the right thing! and make new friends maybe boys from a different class! Hopefully your classmates will realize they are doing wrong…
    Good luck!

    very powerful - says it as it is
    Guest
    very powerful - says it as it is

    everyone should read this

    bully
    Guest
    bully

    as an adult looking back, if there’s one thing I can change from my childhood, it would be any incident where I bullied someone, if kids only realized the long term damage, and how they would feel later about it they would never bully anyone!
    I was bullied and I bullied, I think about the boy I bullied all the time, I hope that he will find it in his heart to forgive me, as I have forgiven my tormentors!

    mommy
    Guest
    mommy

    please do something to help your child. its your job to step in and do something drastic here- cuz this is horrible.

    to 1
    Guest
    to 1

    switch him to another class or school, you cannot allow him to go to school until its dealt with.

    Not even for a minute

    To #5
    Guest
    To #5

    well said!!

    For parents, teachers and adults reading this
    Guest
    For parents, teachers and adults reading this

    What kind of approach is this to bullying? “Turn the other cheek”?! This is not our religion.

    As a teacher, and how much more so as a parent our job is to protect our children. Do something to protect this child and prevent current and life long psychological and emotional damage. Even animals protect their young!

    My heart goes out to this boy.

    This is a great article!
    Guest
    This is a great article!

    I think teachers should print this out and discuss it with their students. Every age group and class can benefit from this!

    agree
    Guest
    agree

    agree with number 5 even if i am more of a pacifist type, this is not acceptable. where are the teachers in all this?
    tzippy

    what about adults buling?
    Guest
    what about adults buling?

    any info on that? Like in our Miosdos or out of them there is bulling taking place all over . I am 35 successful and being bullied all the time I just stand up for my self! The problem is with the adults not the kids.

    To Dear Mommy and Who wrote this?
    Guest
    To Dear Mommy and Who wrote this?

    Consider for a second that an eleven year old child wrote this and sent it in. That child will be very likely be reading these comments. How are your comments remotely responsible and/or helpful? “You’ll never recover” and “punch him in the face” are NOT acceptable responses when someone bares their soul for the greater good. Please grow up.

    Teachers/principal should be told
    Guest
    Teachers/principal should be told

    and get this taken care of, for everyone’s sake!

    Girlish stuff, boys don't bully with mean words
    Guest
    Girlish stuff, boys don't bully with mean words

    Bullying is certainly a problem in Lubavitch schools, but this story doesn’t sound like it was written by a boy in a boys school. Regarding not telling – sounds more like you were threatend. If you think they have feelings – you don’t wan’t to embarrass them – something is wrong with you. They must have got to you pretty bad, to the point where you feel bad for the abuser. The real question is where the heck is your teacher? what about your principal? are they too busy at the copy machine? typing homework sheets? Maybe if you threaten… Read more »

    #4 - Dear Mommy
    Guest
    #4 - Dear Mommy

    First of all, it’s called spell check. It’s been around longer than this kid. Second, I’m very sorry you were bullied as a child. I’m also sorry that you still carry those scars with you til this day. I would recommend counseling and therapy. BUT please do not project your own issues on this kid! How many of us adults would handle this situation with as much class and thoughtfulness as this kid?? Being bullied? Ok, not fun, but let’s use this to make the world a better place. Who thinks like that?! Kid, you’re awesome! And kol hakavod to… Read more »

    then they will continue
    Guest
    then they will continue

    Every time they bully you make sure your patents speak to the teachers and staff. Otherwise it won’t go away. Don’t be afraid. You’ll suffer more if you don’t do that. I’ve seen this firsthand.

    No authority!
    Guest
    No authority!

    This school does nothing about bullying!!!! I’ve heard many stories about this problem and there is never anyone to talk to in this school as opposed to other schools in this community who won’t tolerate it in their school. !!

    This is sad
    Guest
    This is sad

    Your not bullying back if you tell them or tell authority what is going on. U are actually have some self love u don’t deserve to be treated this way. You are not being a victim! If this is how u feel u can’t just deal with pain when it is emotional it isn’t easy for an adult so when u are only an 11 year old child?!? I’m sorry this is going on, your parents should advocate to the school for you until this is done!!!!! Then no one will be hurting no you and not the bully. Many… Read more »

    a daughter in bais rivkah
    Guest
    a daughter in bais rivkah

    Wow well written I have a daughter in this situation the school and teachers are not equipped to deal with it half the time the staff themselves are bullies in their own way and try to turn the tables argue and comment all you want unless you are in the situation you would never know and understand their is a real problem in bais rivkah and for some reason tznius is the only thing that falls into midos in that school being kind caring doesnt exist for some and yes parents a lot comes from the home so if you… Read more »

    my Eighth grade son is getting bullied
    Guest
    my Eighth grade son is getting bullied

    Out of town.Boys definitely hurt with words,leaving kids out..Teacher didn’t quite get it when I called. Principal said the kid is doing better.Really I don’t care-hes still a miserable bully,accusing.hurting,annoying etc but actually still popular in his small class.TERRIBLE!!!!And teachers and principals minimizing is a huge part of the problem!!!!!!Now I have a very dejected son due to these monsters!!!!!

    Mother in Crown Heights
    Guest
    Mother in Crown Heights

    My heart goes out to you. Bh my son is not a victim to bullying, but he does have a classmate who is constantly bullied by the others, with teasing, ridiculing and worse. The problem is the teachers/schools who do nothing about it.
    My son is so often disturbed by his classmates behavior,but when he tries to defend the boy being bullied, the kids just turn on him too. Its a sad, sad situation and really kills me that nothing is being done.

    my child
    Guest
    my child

    my child was a victim of buullying in grade 5 6 and 7 th grade it was a nightmare the schools have to give a session on this topic!!! cuz the school really didnt help that much .my heart goes out for this 11 yr old i!!!

    deaf ears
    Guest
    deaf ears

    i work in one of the C.H. yeshivas. I SEE the bullying – there is NO ONE to talk to. hanhala is tired of hearing complaints. they have “bigger” issues to deal with than kids being “iimmature” and not “getting over it”. where are we headed? if we can’t educate our chidren to be decent human beings – what’s the extra gemara, chumash, halacha worth???
    Hanhala – open your ears!! listen to kids and their parents!!

    To #5
    Guest
    To #5

    It’s sad, but it’s true. “Sucking it up” and “Ignoring it” and convincing yourself that “they’re just jealous” doesn’t help. The bullying continues, and as the author said himself, it becomes a habit. Bullies will do anything to get a reaction, even if that reaction is a staunch refusal to react.
    Punching the biggest bully in the face as hard as you can… that works.

    This is a HUGE problem!!!! And MUST be SOLVED!!!
    Guest
    This is a HUGE problem!!!! And MUST be SOLVED!!!

    Bullying is somthing that the schools must take action on!!! It is very serious and ruins peoples lives!!!! Attention schools!! Please make an effort to stop bullying with programs, campaigns and talking about it!!! Don’t let it slip away and ruin peoples lives!!! You are letting blood shed if you let a child bully another!!!! Please! Please! Please!!! Thank you!!!

    John
    Guest
    John

    I had a classmate who was bullied just like this kid. I literaly just said hi to him one day and asked to sit next to him at lunch that was it (!) and it made his day/year! From then on it wasnt easy for me because he was so clingy he would call me like everyday to hang out etc. (so ein hocho nami there has to be boundaries) he left schools two years later, but to this day (almost two decades later) he is eternally greatfull for that friendship!

    Mother of a sad boy
    Guest
    Mother of a sad boy

    To the young author & your parents:
    You are not alone. My 8 year old came home in tears yesterday & begged to be home schooled!
    My heart breaks to see how miserable the good child is made to feel by those kids that lack middos & discipline
    Good Luck working it out.
    Unfortunatley bullies grow up into BIGGER Bullies!

    Bullying has got to stop!
    Guest
    Bullying has got to stop!

    1. Parents stop defending your bully kids when you hear they are picking on another child 2. Teachers speak up, and take action! There are 2 separate bullying cases that I know of in crown heights. In one case the child dropped out of school, and turned to drugs- which was ultimately his death unfortunately. In another case a child was teased to no end by a group of kids causing him to have a break down- this child is not the same today. Educate your children that bullying is not ok!!! As for this young child, I hope he… Read more »

    to #16
    Guest
    to #16

    I agree with you that there are many adult bullies out there, too. They get away with it because they are often the onew with the power to help you and your children. Help with shidduchim and getting into yeshivas. Getting certain shluchis, etc. Although I agree with #5, as adults, we can’t go around punching each other.

    stand up
    Guest
    stand up

    my children got bullied. i told them tell your teacher if they do not do something about it next time punch them in the teeth and guess what it worked
    no one started with them again

    this is serious
    Guest
    this is serious

    In the schools where I’ve worked (not lubavitch), zero tolerance for bullying and teacher training on how to deal with it were big. This urgent situation must be addressed immediately!

    Citizen Berel
    Guest
    Citizen Berel

    Dear parents of the 11 year old boy. If after doing what you can, the issue is not solved, you need to move your boy into a smaller school where he will not be bullied. The large schools have student bodies too large to manage the social dynamics. The smaller schools are very good about this, because the mashpim project a more significant presence, the situation doesn’t ever get to a boiling point, and the kids generally get much more hashpa in those schools. The big schools can be absolutely brutal. It can break a kid. I’ve seen kids who… Read more »

    Teacher Bullies
    Guest
    Teacher Bullies

    What do you do when your child is being bullied by a teacher?

    formar student
    Guest
    formar student

    I was Bullied the same way in that School over ten years ago. I still suffer from the trauma. They say things are getting better but that is just a sales pitch to disgrutled parents. Same old stuff. One comment was “tell the teacher” I told my teacher time and time again and they would blame me. They said “if so many people are bothering you dont you think it is your fault”

    to num 4
    Guest
    to num 4

    things arent like they were 50 odd yrs ago, 11 yr olds HAVE a voice and they DO speak out……i happen to know the kid whose going through it. oh, and btw, thanx for the pessimism, im sure that will help the healing process. just because u didnt have the tools to get through it, doesnt mean that anyone who goes through it will be scarred for life! thank gd, this student has an amazing and supportive family, along with a mother who would quite literally rip apart ANYONE who harmed one of her children (helps u understand why the… Read more »

    Dear bullied
    Guest
    Dear bullied

    Onaas dvorim is a real issur and you will be doing your bullies a huge favor by turning to an adult you trust for help. Their chinuch to ahavas yisroel is so important and if you can prevent them from growing up with bad middos and get the help they need not only will you be protected and able to relax and enjoy (yes you deserve to learn in a healthy atmosphere) but you will have the zchus in preventing more pain and suffering to others and themselves. You can do it. Hatzlacha rabba

    I have been Shouting and screaming about this for years
    Guest
    I have been Shouting and screaming about this for years

    What does it take for lubuvitch to take notice, and not to tell the victim, not to thnk about it, to get stronger from it. When are THE HEADs of the schools ever ever and the whole community stand up, and expel these rotten children who turn into monsters as they progress in life,a These bullies are sociopaths,they are nasty evil souls, who destroy children at their very core. My son was bullied by a very very well known family s son, he cussed and tried to isolate my son. All the while calling himself, a chossidmof themRebbe. What a… Read more »

    To #5
    Guest
    To #5

    My son did that very thing. He broke his hand in the process, but that kid never went anywhere near him again! My son didn’t get a suspension (I think the school was very happy sombody put the bully in his place.)

    The thing is, bullies get their kicks from making kids cry or feel bad, but they are the biggest cowards out there. One good whack & it’s over.

    Thanks for bringing back a good memory! I had forgotten all about it until I read your post (both boys are married with kids today but still not friendly.)

    wow
    Guest
    wow

    Its amazing that you have the courage to speak up without saying any names. I know you’ll get through this and you have to know hashem doesn’t give someone more than he can handle! Hashembtakes care of everyone and everyone will get the measured reciprocation for what they have done!! You’re a strong person and continue being strong!!

    DONT FEEL SORRY FOR THE ABUSERS
    Guest
    DONT FEEL SORRY FOR THE ABUSERS

    The ABUSERS, and let’s call them this, coz that’s what they are, want to hurt, never think it’s because they are jealous, or have a bad home life, that’s be, a lot of them come from wealthy backgrounds, and love to lash out, hurt amid destroy others they see as their rightful victims. I will NEVER EVER FORGIVE the bullies who hurt my child for years, and the others who watched, I will carry it with me forever, and don’t any goodie two shoes try and tell me any different. ABUSERS abuse, they are young children who are screwed up,… Read more »

    From home
    Guest
    From home

    Bullies are a result if what they see and hear at home. Parents on their cell phones all day having opinions about the way everyone should be acting/doing things- fixing the world instead if fixing theirselves and their families. instead if spending valued time with their kids installing true mIddos. The best education in the world won’t give your child tools to be a nice good person who will endure in healthy relationships in the future. Thank g-d my parents took me out of beis r many many years ago and put me in a small school where I made… Read more »

    This article should be sent to all schools and yeshiva heads
    Guest
    This article should be sent to all schools and yeshiva heads

    Please can we have a vote, that this article be circulated amount all the schools in the country, every lubuvitch school, wherever they be…this is a VERY serious situation, this must be addressed, animals treat their kids better.

    hanhala does not care!
    Guest
    hanhala does not care!

    Next time one of them says something stupid walk over calmly and PUNCH the kid in the nose and walk away. Trust me it’ll stop!

    My child was also bullied
    Guest
    My child was also bullied

    in a large out of town school,by former friends. The principal said”well,she picked the wrong friends”. When will those in charge finally get it? Ahavas Yisroel,middos,BASIC MENSHLICHKAIT are far more important then any thing else!!!

    Dear angry mother #42
    Guest
    Dear angry mother #42

    As long as the bullies are from “chusheve families” nothing will change. You are right, but at the end of the day, the sad reality is he who pays the piper plays the tune. So if the bullies have $ or yichus, Mrs. L’s boy will just have take his “punishment” on the chin. Having said that, you are REALLY angry, which is not helping your kids. How about boosting their self esteem by helping them learn the tools they need to combat bullying? Your hysteria is not helping anything; it makes it worse. Defending & supporting your kids is… Read more »

    Stand behind your bullied child
    Guest
    Stand behind your bullied child

    My brother is the same as this child. He was being teased by a kid so he told my mother, and she tried to get the school to take “care” of it. The boy continued teasing my brother. My brother had enough of this and beat the kid up. The principal came to break it up and sent my brother home. BH my parents stuck up for my brother and gave it to the principal. A child who teases should know what’s coming, and principals should take care of the real problem child.

    Very Nicely Written!
    Guest
    Very Nicely Written!

    It takes some serious guts to put yourself out there on the internet like that… Kudos, “Avremel”! You sound like a really great person. Keep being you and I’m sure things will get better.

    talking from experience
    Guest
    talking from experience

    As for those of you commenting who didn’t go through it what do you know? Those who did many years ago I would recommend that you think through whether or not your current problems in life are really from then or not or other things may have happened between now and then. However i am not so old so for me it was not that long ago so I will recommend do what I did 1: stay strong keep up the good work don’t hold it in however (it does not mean u need to say names however to parents… Read more »

    Opportunity for hanholo
    Guest
    Opportunity for hanholo

    Bullying situation is an opportunity for hanholo to educate children what it means to be a Lubavitcher.
    The essence of Lubavitch is a love for every Jew. What better opportunity there is, than having a kid that is *different*, and yet accepted fully. This what education means, and having *different* children is a brocha.
    It (should) open children’s minds and hearts to what Lubavicher chossid is, if educators would frame it like this.

    A Teacher in Middle School
    Guest
    A Teacher in Middle School

    So what is some constructive advice on what we can actually do if we see a kid being bullied in our class?

    Unconventional thinking... What about the bully's needs?
    Guest
    Unconventional thinking... What about the bully's needs?

    Most often people don’t wonder what compels a child to bully. When we outright punish bullies without giving them any tools to be more constructive (which first requires understanding the bully’s needs), the bully is made to feel “powerless” again. This approach doesn’t remediate the bully’s behavior – it just exacerbates and justifies the bully “paying it forward” to their next victim so that the bully can regain that sense of lost “power” from the punishment. Instead we need to understand and work with the bully… to hear the bully’s needs. Most overlooked is that bullies, like anyone, need to… Read more »

    so sad
    Guest
    so sad

    My heart goes out for you – i feel your pain! I’d suggest to do some kind of natural healing like net and assertive training skills – this is unacceptable! The kids bullying must be held accountable by authority!!!!!!! That’s the only way they will stop! The person being bullied needs to learn it’s ok to have a say and say he feels hurt that’s not nice unless he wants to completely ignore them until they stop – pretend they don’t exist…

    your not responsible for their feelings your responsible for your feelings
    Guest
    your not responsible for their feelings your responsible for your feelings

    Hi – in regards to people being hurtful you are not responsible for how hurt they may feel if you hold them accountable. The only way you will have peace of mind and not become a bully yourself is if you do what’s right for you – say your truth. say you dont like it when they do that. say thats hurtful tell authority. hold them accountable – you are not responsible for their related feelings if they feel guilty. you have to do what’s right for you say your mind – this has to stop. if you feel guilty… Read more »

    attention all parents
    Guest
    attention all parents

    You should be sharing this message with your children and make sure they are not the ones bullying.

    something needs to be done!!!!
    Guest
    something needs to be done!!!!

    This problem is tremendous! and while the schools have an “anti-bullying” policy, I have yet to see BR take a stand and kick a bully out. Suspension would work- bullies need to be thrown out to get the message!!BEIS RIVKA, can you hear me? Can you actually take action when you are informed of bullying?

    been on both sides
    Guest
    been on both sides

    I have a son who was bullied, and a son who bullied.
    for the 1st one, when the school said ‘ah, yeah, we’ll take care of it, get back to us soon, it happens, get over it etc’
    at some point my spouse told the bullier if he does it one more time she’ll beat the —- out of him, and it stopped cold turkey.
    when we heard my younger son bullied a kid, we learned with him perek 32 in tanya, call the kid and apologize and discussed the behaivor and what triggered it.
    B”H he got the message.

    to 56
    Guest
    to 56

    to 56. The torah’s perspective is when you do something wrong to another you do teshuvah – 3 steps regret admit done something wrong say it and commit to not do in future. The bully is not the victim he needs to do teshuvah and thereby he will channel his energy automatically in the right direction cuz that itself is a mitzvah. how should that be implemented with authority that’s the purpose of authority in school. the victim should disclose with authority who it is – they have a meeting where the victim share his hurts and feelings in this… Read more »

    Man to man
    Guest
    Man to man

    My son was bullied when he was in Mesivta. One night I showed up at the end of Seder and told the bully I had to speak to him. I took him out to my car and had a man-to-man talk with him. I didn’t threaten him, I just reasoned with him explaining that his behavior was unacceptable had to change. He never bothered my son again.

    to number 55
    Guest
    to number 55

    constructive advice is: huge consequences for bullying. Bullying is worse than physical hurt (see Bava Metzia 59B). Just like there would be a suspension (or expulsion) for physical violence (a kid who brings a knife to school ch”v) all the more so, when a teacher sees bullying, there should be suspension for a week etc.

    There must be ZERO TOLERANCE for bullying. It destroys life r”l.

    to #19
    Guest
    to #19

    My son is being bullied by his peers to with real nasty words y do u think it is a girlish thing?

    If the victim hits the bully the victim gets blamed so...
    Guest
    If the victim hits the bully the victim gets blamed so...

    Parents must get involved and talk to school to stop it right away and teachers must do somthing!!!! This is horrible. Some real bullies will never stop because it’s the way thier brain works. By normal healthy people when you see someone hurt your pain switch turns on BY BULLIES, when they hurt someone or see someone hurt .. THEIR PLEASURE SWITCH TURNS ON!!!!!! Its so sad!!

    Bully's should be punished
    Guest
    Bully's should be punished

    Bullies should be treated as if doing a criminal act, why do they get away running peoples lives because they mainly use words or trappings and not always breaking legs??? They should go to juvenille or in some other way really be taught a lesson!!!

    Bravery vs Cowardice
    Guest
    Bravery vs Cowardice

    It’s a sad situation when an 11 year old has to post on an online forum to highlight this issue. Bullying has been affecting peoples lives for eons and in our community specifically we have serious issues with it. It is unbelievably brave to post this and I am beyond impressed by the maturity of the author. It is extremely well written for an 11 year old and I highly doubt this is coming from a ‘Crown Heightser’. The clearest thing about all of this is that this kid will go far, both from the way it was written, and… Read more »

    THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!
    Guest
    THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!

    I am a teenager who is also having bullying problems. I just want to thank you so much for writing this — it made me realize that I’m not the only one — and I’m cheering you on. I don’t know you, but an important thing is to always remember about the good things which you have in your life, so that even while you’re being bullied, it will at least take away a little bit of the hurt. Believe me: I go through it every day, and I’ve witnessed the difference. Also, I know it’s hard, but it’s important… Read more »

    Why do the schools let it go on by???!!!
    Guest
    Why do the schools let it go on by???!!!

    Dear hanhola & mechanchim,
    Please take a kid being bullied seriously and look out for it and intervene….. Just like you know very well to look out for girls with thier knees showing a tad or a boy not coming memorizing the whole Sefer,, watch out for the kids well being!! Thank you!!

    Moshiach is needed now!!!
    Guest
    Moshiach is needed now!!!

    Why are the schools so selfish??!! They have so much power to rule whatever they want etc but they just want to make sure they look the most chassidish or whatever,,, what about mentchlichkiet and basic ahavas yisrael!?????

    mother
    Guest
    mother

    If every teacher or rabbi were on top of their students by keeping them busy learning and educating and not bein on their phone. meaning being more involved with the kids,such thing wont happen ,

    So sad!!!
    Guest
    So sad!!!

    This is so applicable for ch schools especially!!

    Take care of it yourself!
    Guest
    Take care of it yourself!

    Forget the schools , you the parents need to take care of it yourself! Inform the parents of the bully what is going on and give them a time frame to take care of it! If there is no change take care of it yourself! Go up to that kid (not during school time) and warn him ” if my child ever mentions your name to me again you will ……..not be very happy” I do that for my child. One mother was so devastated that her ” angel” could cause so much grief she took care of it and… Read more »

    Oy vey
    Guest
    Oy vey

    I don’t even know what to say to the author.. You are amazing for writing this and you are so mature!! But make sure to stand up for yourself and don’t show them attention because then they’ll see that you don’t like it and they might do it more. They are the crazy ones!!! You can get help even though it’s hard but try to figure out tactics to protect yourself and tell your parents to threaten school.

    To all teachers!
    Guest
    To all teachers!

    I am a teacher and I take care of bullying in a very simple way. I give all my attention to the victims , constantly put them on a pedestal and the bullies freak out ! ” if the teacher thinks he/ she is great well…….
    To the commenter that wanted advise on teachers that bully? Get your child out of that class ASAP! Everyday is a sakona for your child!

    TRUE JUDAISM
    Guest
    TRUE JUDAISM

    If our schools would spend half the amount of time teaching about the dates of Chassidishe Yomtovim, and instead TEACH about being a MENTCH, and Ahavas yisroel, maybe we would get somewhere.
    These bullies are mimicking behavior that they see at home and at school and on the streets. We need to ACT the way we want our children to act. Rewarding kids for doing acts of kindness and other good deeds (bein adom lchavoro) would be helpful.
    What is the point of our kids knowing Tanya Baal Peh, when they don’t know how to behave?????

    To number 50
    Guest
    To number 50

    You are really a bully yourself.
    My children know the signs of a sociopath, sounds like you turn on people, sounds like your are really against people standing up for themselves, sounds to me, you are a nasty piece of work, attacking the victims, maybe….you are an abuser?….maybe you are a parent of an abuser. Who wants to be in a school with two faced fake frummers, are you an abuser?

    To #50
    Guest
    To #50

    Condescending snotty person, you could possibly be part of this problem. Condescending, nose in the air, telling the mother, she could be out. You are obviously one of the bullies

    Stop the bullying!!
    Guest
    Stop the bullying!!

    Bullying ruins peoples lives!!! Everyone must do their part to stop bullying, whether educating you’re kids to stick up for themselves or stopping your kid from bullying to promoting bullying education! This must stop now!!

    Dear Teachers,
    Guest
    Dear Teachers,

    1. Let your students know that you really care about them. Do this by smiling at them as they come into the class, asking them how whats wrong when they seem to be upset, giving them opportunities to talk to you a few minutes before lesson starts and in the playground, listening to them when they talk to you, taking their questions and problems seriously…. etc etc etc. Then, if you do all this, your student will feel that you care about them and will open up and tell you when they have a problem., and you dear teacher, please… Read more »

    email this article to your main bully friend
    Guest
    email this article to your main bully friend

    Write “remember we used to be friends? Well…”
    If he does teshuva now its a mitzvah for him and good for you.

    small school
    Guest
    small school

    Don’t kid yourself that sending to a smaller school is a solution, bullying is rampant there too.
    I’m a student, I am bullied every time a word comes out of my mouth.

    to 74
    Guest
    to 74

    You are so old school! You can’t just threaten a kid like that and its not gonna help because his father who might also be an animal that will threaten you! And the point we make about school is because most of this happens in school under adults and they can’t let it pass by. Letting it pass especially when its your job to do somthing is like agreeing and being part of it!!!

    to 45
    Guest
    to 45

    yes feel sorry for the abusers!!! they must be going through something hard, bulling isnt fun! but yes, poor kids, teachers and parents, OPEN UR EYES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    i was bullied
    Guest
    i was bullied

    when i was in sixth grade, my friends made a hurtful song about me with all kinds of not nice descriptions. I’m 43 and i still remember the song word by word and still feel the pain of it. It definetely lowered my self esteem for many many years.

    Harassment. Is a crime
    Guest
    Harassment. Is a crime

    Suggestion, go to the cops, harassment is a crime, that’s what I did. Who wants to be part of a movement t that destroys each other? Honestly, get the cops involved. BTW, these schools sound TERRIBLE. Sounds very nasty. Only interested in getting payments in. What happens to the children of the children who are attacked verbally, how can there be any hope of a proper community when you have wicked screwed up kids in your schools, ruining stuff. Please yidden, you cannot change sociopathic behavior, the part of the brain for empathy is missing, it is not there, simply… Read more »

    i left crown heights.....
    Guest
    i left crown heights.....

    as an adult felt bullyed by other adult. on kibgston ave. so many stores they treat you as a piece of garbache and preadure you to feel as nebach and poor for not buying what they offer……. when question where asked, bullyng was the answer…. family from my partner bully each other…. thats how they know and leave. i feel free out of that world…

    to #84 from #74
    Guest
    to #84 from #74

    I may be old school but it worked!

    to #5
    Guest
    to #5

    everyone read #5 that person is right

    Petition please
    Guest
    Petition please

    Can we start a petition, to take to mayors office, to get I mediate intervention for our schools, proper help, proper professionals who can come in, and see what’s going on, make adjustments and question teachers what exactly they do to help the situation. There’s so much one can do. Just by the teacher stopping a bully in front of all the class, just by that, it can change. Why do teachers enable the ABUSERS. Would you stand by and watch a person be killed? Would you watch you own child stripped down to their bones, would you? Well that’s… Read more »

    i was bullied to
    Guest
    i was bullied to

    dont pay atention to them

    "Educated" Teachers
    Guest
    "Educated" Teachers

    To all of you book-washed, stop paraphrasing standard Rx protocols “tell an adult” “tell a teacher” “never fight back” “bullies also have needs” “they need love” – your teacher never took the job to help kids like you, he simply needs a paycheck to pay his rent

    The Rebbe once
    Guest
    The Rebbe once

    was informed of bullying, picked up the phone, rotary dialed the principal, and told him ‘DO I MYSELF HAVE TO COME DOWN AND MAKE A SEDER??????’

    Please if anyone knows details of this story.

    the point was to the principal basically to wake up and get your act together

    To # 5 and to all others who say hitting is the solution!
    Guest
    To # 5 and to all others who say hitting is the solution!

    How can you say that hitting the bully to make them stop is the right thing to do??!!!! You are teaching your child that hitting is the right thing to do when bothered! Yes, it may make the bully stop bothering you! But what about all the other people he will go out and bully instead??!!!!!!!! YES, the bullying HAS to be stopped but each bully has his own reasons for doing what he does. Each bully has to be dealt with the way that will help him/her best!

    I noticed the black and blue marks
    Guest
    I noticed the black and blue marks

    on my son recently, he doesn’t wan’t to talk about it.

    So I pay my salary in tuition and this is what I’m paying for

    Who's the victim? Be wise
    Guest
    Who's the victim? Be wise

    When I was bullied, as a child, the bullies parent once came over to me and scared me that he will kill me if I harass his son. The bullies mother called up my mother and told her that I – the victim – was harassing her son. My mother punished me. I say this to point out that evil children are born to evil parents, and victim children are born to victim parents. So to you timid fathers I encourage you to be strong. Its your child’s wellbeing at stake. And to the bully parents – don’t be smart… Read more »

    15 year old speaking out
    Guest
    15 year old speaking out

    For all the comments saying that we need Moshiach ( which yes that is true) or that we need to ignore the bullies….. Obviously you are not opening your eyes and seeing what these children are going through. We can’t always rely on other people to change the situation, we have to do it ourselves. If you have a child who is being bullied, do whatever you can to put a stop to it. Even if it means going to extreme measures, it will benefit the child in the future. People need to realize that children whom are being bullied,… Read more »

    so being bullied is now okay????
    Guest
    so being bullied is now okay????

    -not smart – letting bullies get away with it isn’t noble – it’s allowing a bad thing to get worse, and spread.
    -this boys parents have nothing to be proud of – get out there and protect your son

    to 56
    Guest
    to 56

    you need to own what you did and not make foolish excuses! And then saying everyone’s a bully sometimes?! please! Take some responsibility. You try to make YOURSELF sound like the victim!!! Perhaps this lack of empathy is what caused you to bully in the first place.

    to 100
    Guest
    to 100

    your right!!! im not 56 but i agree with can’t live without empathy it’s what makes a person selfish or has space for others. Those that are narcissitic are incapable of having empathy. that got to be taught well with real consequences!!!

    My sons Rebbi in CH
    Guest
    My sons Rebbi in CH

    Does a lesson once a week based on a book about bullying. Will post back bli”n when I get the name of it

    to #19
    Guest
    to #19

    Actually: boy’s do hurt with words
    i’m telling you when i was a kid i was terribly hurt with words, i would even cry!

    someone who cares

    Too many comments
    Guest
    Too many comments

    for anyone to read this, but… I, too, was bullied as a kid. Going to the teacher or principal is a fine idea, but it will likely get the child into more trouble with the bully. I think the only real way to take care of it is to confront the bully’s parents. My parents offered to do that for me, but I begged them not to out of shame. I was wrong. If the bully is afraid of anyone, it’s probably their parents. If the bully’s parents don’t respond, the victim’s parents must get in their face and do… Read more »

    :')
    Guest
    :')

    I’m so proud of this kid for standing up and putting themself out there. I’m proud of the fact that they stood strong and did what they thought was right even when its them alone. That is really hard to do and this person obviously has amazing midos and these bullies don’t know what kind of a friend they are missing out on!!

    why
    Guest
    why

    don’t all of you like-minded C.H. mothers get together and demand that all the teachers must be trained to eradicate this once and for all? Why leave your child in such a school?

    Please stand strong
    Guest
    Please stand strong

    We will fight all bullies!!!! Get outta here you evil ,heartless bullies!

    Narcissistic additude guard
    Guest
    Narcissistic additude guard

    To those who wrote about how they were bullied when they were younger.
    With out a question Bullying is horrible, but pls don’t convince yourself “I’m a victim” and “I’m damaged for LIFE.”

    This additude is super unproductive etc.

    bakasha
    Guest
    bakasha

    I would ask the yeshiva to search its yiras shomayim, to increase in limud of ahavas yisroel and more, and to send out some parenting literature and more. This is worse than unacceptable,

    Bully's are everywhere
    Guest
    Bully's are everywhere

    Bully’s are everywhere . In schools , in shul,
    At home . And the most upright supposed
    mentshlich pple sit back watch and let it
    happen . Maybe they are afraid it will be worse
    for the victim. Maybe they don’t want to become
    a victim . But they become accomplices by
    letting it happen . Bullying destroys the soul of the bullied
    and something within is changed forever .

    Krav Maga , Self Defense - a must class for your kids
    Guest
    Krav Maga , Self Defense - a must class for your kids

    Put your kids in any self defense /krav Maga / any other sports that teach you how to protect yourself from the ” bad guys” …..

    Very proud!
    Guest
    Very proud!

    wow! i am so impressed! the author is so mature

    bubby h
    Guest
    bubby h

    this child MUST tell his parents everything and the Parents MUST step in to defend their child! It is pecuach nefeshtHE PARENTS MUST DO WHAT THEY CAN TO PROTECT THEIR CHILD!!!

    amazingly written
    Guest
    amazingly written

    i am so surprised that an 11 yr old wrote this by him/her self its absolutely amazing a true lesson for all schools wouldn’t be surprised if this person makes a couple books it looks this person will go far in life
    to the author keep it up

    Heartbreaking
    Guest
    Heartbreaking

    Reading these comments is heartbreaking. #42 I feel your pain and was crying for you and your child. If there is a particular school where there is a big problem with bullying parents MUST GET TOGETHER to push the heads to do something and tackle the problem. There is more POWER IN NUMBERS and even if a parent says it is not my child – well one day it might be cv. A childs school life should be – and they have a right to have – a happy and positive experience – and if it is not so then… Read more »

    To #19
    Guest
    To #19

    What a ridiculous,insensitive, and outrageous thing to say! First Of all, every kid has rights to say what they feel, and if it may sound girlish to you, keep that to yourself! How can you think of saying ’there’s something wrong with you?’if anything, there is probably something wrong you if you think that you could say that!im shocked!!

    You hit me I hit harder
    Guest
    You hit me I hit harder

    A lesson Isreal also has to learn! Much Hatzlocha btw hitting isn’t Always literal kid teases you teas him more and embarrass him just once, laugh in the boys face and he And everyone will know he is one who has pride he is his own number one and So he should be mine too and you are Good.. And done with the hitter….Hatzlocha and never hit if weren’t hit first.”

    hitting  to #5
    Guest
    hitting to #5

    not all kids are brave enough to go punch someone in the nose especially girls.

    Pain
    Guest
    Pain

    I suffered a lot of pain as a kid. I had my fingers dislocated and when ever I flinched (during mid-dislocation) I was punched twenty times with a penny roll in the stomach or rib cage, my hand cut open by someone’s sharp nails, punched in the face, slapped, kicked in the shins repeatedly by girls, bullies purposely tried to push me down staircases, was put in neck locks that were so tight they were akin to actual strangle holds, pushed over desks because they thought it was fun, and called names. I wanted to kill myself. I wanted revenge… Read more »

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