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Wednesday, 13 Kislev, 5780
  |  December 11, 2019

Who’s Responsible for Abuse?

Crown Heights activist Rabbi Shea Hecht and others spoke at a seminar on the prevention of child abuse in Jewish communities. Video

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Nice hat shea!!
Guest
Nice hat shea!!

😉

Joel is a hero
Guest
Joel is a hero

Joel Engleman you are an absolute hero – to come out with your story!! To put the cause and the safety of all other children in the community before yourself and so bravely standing up to tell the truth!!! You didnt speak much about how you are today, but I can only imagine that you are still suffering! You call yourself a survivor – so I hope that it means that you are moving on with life and have somewhat recovered from the torment and suffering and that you have only the best in life for the future. I just… Read more »

kol hakavod
Guest
kol hakavod

Kol hakavod to the organizers of the event, and to Collive for posting these videos. This is a topic that must be discussed and should not be hidden.

scared
Guest
scared

I’m really scared for my future kids.

what's child abuse?
Guest
what's child abuse?

l grew up getting potsh on my behind,although it would have been better to handle it differently,this is not child abuse,sometimes the child thinks that it’s a joke and doesn’t even come close to what is’s all about

Preventative Measures
Guest
Preventative Measures

Some time ago, Mrs. Bronya Shaffer gave an important online talk to shluchos about how to help protect our children from abuse. I’m not sure why this video should be kept only for shluchos–every parent can benefit and it’s so important. Maybe a request can be made to the shluchim office to post this to collive.

nuchem rosenberg
Guest
nuchem rosenberg

this guy nuchem is bringing a subject thats taboo out in the open but not everything he says is right and he is a big musser. just so happens to be that one of the big cases he got to see the molester put away is being investigated now cause the victim is being investigated for blackmail and perjury and a load of other things. so yes he is doing good but theres a way for doing it. dont convince boys to testify when you knowingly admit that you know hes lying but as long as defendant goes to jail… Read more »

correction to #6
Guest
correction to #6

contact merkos about posting shaffers video for all.
718 774 4000
ask for someone to direct you to speak to those that arrange weekly online shiurim for the shluchos.

appropriate?
Guest
appropriate?

i am not sure if this is the avenue to present this video keeping in mind that children watch col to. perhaps there shuld be a special website to play such vidios for parents only.

kol hakavod
Guest
kol hakavod

Kol hakavod to those who organized the event and to the askanim who are working to eliminate this scourge from our communities. And thank you to COLLive for posting the excerpts, I would love to see the entire event if possible.

so brave
Guest
so brave

joel you are a very special young man. I really hope Hashem gives you strength forever to become the exceptional person that you are.

RCA allows mesira in cases of child abuse
Guest
RCA allows mesira in cases of child abuse

http://www.ou.org/shabbat_shalom/article/silent_slaughtering_of_souls/
Read the article and the links. Hopefully situations such as Nachum’s where he was shot and thrown out of shuls for protecting children will no longer take place. Nachum has really awakened the rabbonim to the dangers. Our hearts all go out to Joel and hope that someday he can heal. By helping others, maybe he will heal.

what Shea said is very true
Guest
what Shea said is very true

To #2, The whole community is to blame when we have allowed rabbonim to be paid off to allow abusers protection. As a long time BT however, I would have to say that the blame does not apply equally to us, unless we become as insular as the rest of the frum world. Holding the threat of shidduchim over our heads would not have worked because our children often marry other children of BTs and most BTs would not remain silent in the face of abuse. I have absolutely zero respect for those rabbis who harbor child molesters. Their Torah… Read more »

rainbow
Guest
rainbow

If you are still wondering about the rainbow over crown heights 2 days ago, it appear as an bow that arches over an entire neighborhood – collective responsibility…
Rabbi Hecht, you no doubt are aware that child abuse is a cancer in the heart of the heights.
How is fancy talking going to help kids already being murdered one attack at a time?
Cult-busting requires more than a speech.

TO #6
Guest
TO #6

She is my great-aunt, just by the way…

To Joe Engelman
Guest
To Joe Engelman

Joe, may Hashem protect you from any further harm, and may Moshiach come now and there will be no more suffering!

Ad Mossai!?

To #2
Guest
To #2

I agree. Joel, you are really a hero for saying this story, this will make the parents be more alert for their children.
Joel, may it be the Ratzon of Hashem that Moshiach will come and no one will suffer any more. AMEN!

scared
Guest
scared

im very scared of sending my kids to yeshiva,
i hope that in the merit of joels courage to speak up it will prevent such atrocities from occurring in the future.

13
Guest
13

to # 13, surprise surprise, my husband was abused by a bt

Kol Hakavod
Guest
Kol Hakavod

To COL for posting this, its about time it came out in the open, for parents, and for kids to watch and learn that its not OK to be abused in any which way by any person. If your parents will not or cannot protect you, tell someone else like an older friend or teacher.

To 19
Guest
To 19

I did not say that BTs were incapable of abusing someone. What I did say was that the BT culture does not protect abusers. BTs could have the same perverseness as anyone else but would not expect the community to stay quiet about them.

Leadership
Guest
Leadership

Thank you COL for showing the courage lacking in many of our communal leaders and rabbis in publicizing a life threatening danger to our children.

How many more suicides, drug overdoses, OTD, failed marriages, ruined lives will it take for our leaders to get their heads out of the sand.

When will we have a conference like this in Crown Heights?

to 21
Guest
to 21

understood

educate
Guest
educate

bronya shaffer gave a great talk on how to educate ourselfs and kids, it would be great if it could be posted online.
joel you are a hero to be able too stand up and say your story may hashem help you have a complete recovery and may you have only joy in your life from now on.

Parent/Mechanech
Guest
Parent/Mechanech

RE: #4

Having children is a huge resposbility and like #22 mentioned, having an event like this in CH can help prepare parents and the community to prevent from unwanted harm to our children. We need to emphasize the tools children need to say “no”, how to foster relationships in which children can communicate such a sensitive event occuring and demand protection from our schools like windows in all classrooms, no one and one tutoring without close monitoring. An event further detailing how to communicate to children before they go to camp/school/sleep overs etc is a great idea.

Prevention is KEY
Guest
Prevention is KEY

What do you think we can do, as a community, to prevent this moving forward?

primitive
Guest
primitive

why are so many people in the frum community so primitive its mind boggeling how these have two hells one to go through the abuse and then to be victimized by these communities.

DOWLOADABLE?
Guest
DOWLOADABLE?

Can you please make a downloadable mp3 of the entire thing so that we can listen to is while driving.

ALSO...
Guest
ALSO...

many well meaning parents let their kids have a lot of freedom and their coming home from school an hour late does not even raise an eyebrow…please parents you need to be a little more involved, aware and in control of your kids schedules- even the teenagers!

camp
Guest
camp

Schools are not the only place where children have been abused. Overnight camps (where many of our children start attending as young as 7 or 8 years old) and out-of-town yeshivas are places where abuse takes place, as well. Make sure to speak to your son before he goes to overnight camp or an out-of-town yeshiva. In BP parents were asked not to let their young sons go to the mikva or the swimming pool unattended! Speak to your children. I know of one rebbe in ULY who spoke to his first graders in an appropriate, aidele way. But it’s… Read more »

Thank you
Guest
Thank you

coll would it be possible to post the whole thing?
does anyone know where we can hear the whole thing?
thanks joel for coming forward, and Rabbi rosenberg
whos doing great work!

Thank you!
Guest
Thank you!

Thank you COL for posting this video, bringing this important subject to our community. Thank you to the event organizers and speakers who are going against the tide, and promoting awareness, abuse prevention, and education. I also want to mention, that aside from our responsibility in keeping perpetrators away from our children, we also need to foster a communication with our children/ students that would allow them to speak up if something happened, so they can get the appropriate help/ therapy. There are many therapists/phsychologists that are specially trained to work with child abuse survivors, and are very successful at… Read more »

About time !
Guest
About time !

Thank G-D we are progressing !

Anonymous
Guest
Anonymous

” few are guilty, all are responsible” quote by Rabbi Mark Dratch

Please try to understand
Guest
Please try to understand

Perpetrators, unless they have had an awakening of grand proportions, will not stop unless the public authorities stop them. We might WANT them to stop, we might THINK they have stopped because they say they have, etc. But they do not stop without being FORCED to. We might think that because they proclaim to be frum, they are frum in the real sense. BUT THEY ARE NOT! They go through the motions of “frum” while leading their second life, which is ABUSER!

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