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Thursday, 27 Adar I, 5784
  |  March 7, 2024

When Words Are Inadequate

Rabbi Gershon Schusterman, whose wife passed away at 36, shares a letter of condolence he sent their 11 children. Full Story

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Thank you
March 27, 2014 9:55 am

Shmueli Newman, beautiful letter, I too remember that Sunday, who can forget? thank you for sharing..C. Schoenberg

Profound and meaningful
March 23, 2014 2:53 pm

Rabbi Schusterman, I want to thank you for sharing with all of us the letter you wrote to your family. While I know it wasn’t an easy decision and has probably brought back many painful memories to both you and your family it was greatly needed and very much appreciated for more then just dealing with the latest tragedy. When I first heard the tragic news about Rashi Minkowitz I immediately got flashbacks of that horrible Sunday so many years ago when Rochel Leah passed away. At the time I was too young and lacked the tools to grasp or… Read more »

my heart aches
March 23, 2014 2:33 pm

You dont know me i dont know you, but i read what you wrote, many years ago i had a friend who had lost a child very late in pregnancy and told me that she would rather someone said something stupid or not sensible then to ignore her which is what they did and made her feel worse then she did as in she felt like she had done something bad. There are always two sides to every coin and what you wrote may be for some people but i heard it from someone who told me how it was… Read more »

Rabbi Gershon
March 23, 2014 9:50 am

I am Rivkie (Heber) Barber’s younger sister. She had been a counselor at your summer camp all those years ago. She absolutely adored Rochel Leah and spoke of her often. I was young but still recall Rivkie’s tears and terrible pain upon hearing of Rochel Leah’s passing. Perhaps now they are together in shomayim. Who knows. It is true that people who really do care say some nonsensical things. No one but Hashem can say why these tragedies occur – and so no one should be claiming to understand His reasons. The greatest comfort to those of us in mourning… Read more »

Thank you, my teacher
March 23, 2014 7:00 am

Dear Rabbi Schusterman, you were my first teacher of authentic Yiddishkeit, and I remember Rochel Leah a”h so well. Words are sometimes inadequate but you have always known how to use them to serve Hashem, and you have always been a beacon of light in the frum world. I remember how you comforted me during some of the most difficult times I ever went through, even before this tragedy happened to you. May Rochel Leah’s memory always be for a blessing, and may she be an advocate in Shamayim for all Yidden. May Hashem let you enjoy many years of… Read more »

timeless wisdom
March 23, 2014 2:45 am

I have spent the last two weeks thinking about morah shusterman every day, the woman who gave me my voice. I shall never ever, ever forget that fateful day. It is still with all of us. I carry her with me every day. Indeed, your words are 25 years old, yet timeless.

wow
March 23, 2014 2:11 am

amazing

Very heartwarming, and important
March 23, 2014 1:20 am

I remember, very well, the passing of Morah Schusterman O”H. Having been a student of hers, and a friend of the family, which happened later on, I too am reminded of her patirah every time a young woman, mother and wife passes. As a child, the thoughts are with the deceased, feeling bad that they left this world. As an adult, all you can think about are the loved ones that are left behind, to pick up the pieces and continue living, which isn’t always easy. Having lost my father at the young age of 54, I was comforted by… Read more »

reb gershon
March 23, 2014 1:18 am

Thank you

Thank you, Rabbi
March 23, 2014 12:56 am

What a generous spirit to share such family privacy with the rest of us. Your brutal honestly and clarity are refreshing Just as in music, the quiet moment is a necessary prelude to a moving piece, just as between painting and picture-frame there is needed a space (called a mat) which is neither artwork nor frame, Just as when laying a Persian rug you must leave adequate border between carpet and wall, just as between parshios there are spaces which are Divinely ordained and intrinsic element of the Torah’s sanctity, so too in the face of challenge we need a… Read more »

Brothers-Open your hearts!!
March 23, 2014 12:40 am

I have a close relative whose kids are orphans.Open your hearts-the pain DOES NOT disappear! Invite them for Shabbos,invite over the kids,offer to help even a year later!(or more!!!)Some people don’t think to be a little extra kind and caring.It’s sad that people who should,don’t always go the extra mile or even a step!Its vital and goes a long way..Make it your business today!!

thank you
March 22, 2014 11:36 pm

an admirer

Thank you for sharing
March 22, 2014 11:34 pm

I recently suffered a tragedy in my own family, and the recent tragedies hit very close to home, and I am hurting deeply inside. Your letter IS helpful, and I appreciate your sharing. And, I know, that although the pain and trauma dull with time, they never go away completely, so my wishes to you is that you and your wonderful family know only simcha and nachas from now on!! And may we all be zoche very soon to a time when “umacha Hashem Dima-ah m’al pni Haadamah” Please excuse me if I am not quoting correcty. I am going… Read more »

Thank you Gershon
March 22, 2014 10:34 pm

A rare man of intellect and truth when most haven’t the former and do not seek the latter

Avremale Melamed

Thank you...
March 22, 2014 10:24 pm

Thank you for this and for sharing your family’s pain. Right now I feel more than ever chassidim ein mishpocha. These pains are very close to home.

Dear Rabbi Schusterman
March 22, 2014 9:19 pm

Thank you for your warm and inspiring words. You have a candor and clarity that is rare among rabbis. You don’t shy away from exposing your feelings and human frailties while guiding us in the path to transcending them. May you enjoy many many more years of nachas from your children, grandchildren and community (and keep writing!).

Mrs shustermsn was a tzadeikes
March 22, 2014 8:47 pm

And her husband is a tzadik!!! Thank you for this letter!

really hit a chord
March 22, 2014 8:36 pm

I remember when Rochel Leah a”h Schusterman passed away when I was a small child growing up in LB. The sad and shocking news of the passing of Rashi a”h Minkowitz broght back the suppressed pain I felt then and was too young to express.
Thank you for this.

thank you
March 22, 2014 8:08 pm

Thank you uncle gershon for being a beacon of strength and clarity in these times. May the extended family of chabad be comforted and find strength and may Hashem comfort us with the coming of moshiach b’karov now!

Devarim Sheyotzim min halev, nichnasim el halev
March 22, 2014 4:31 pm

Many thanks for sharing the deepest of feelings and exposing such fragile truths. your eloquent and thought provoking lessons will be read and reread time and again as my heart will be soothed by your words and my Emunah will be strengthened by your wisdom .

Wow
March 22, 2014 4:20 pm

Thank you for sharing this
It must have taken courage
Im sure we cal all benefit from this
May we only share in good news

MOSHIACH NOW!!!

Thank you
March 22, 2014 4:09 pm

That’s all. Your beautiful letter has helped me.

a non-verbal response lightens the pain!
March 22, 2014 1:55 pm

thank you for your comments, Rabbi Schusterman.. I remember writing to you ( was in the hospital at the time)after Nechamie a”h passed away as I could imagine how once again how pained you must have been as though my words could help (what did I know?).
Soon there after, you sent me pictures of Rochel Leah and Alta in a little gold frame…no words, no nothing could assuage the pain..except this meaningful gesture and tangible object which I still treasure today…chana schoenberg..

Thank You
March 22, 2014 10:22 am

Dvorim hayotzim min halev, nichnosim el halev.
Sincerest thanks for posting this eloquent and heartfelt letter, when so many are struggling and grieving.

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