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Wednesday, 23 Sivan, 5779
  |  June 26, 2019

    When the Bubble Shatters

    From the COLlive inbox: Whenever the topic of molestation comes up, some will claim that Jews don't hurt other Jews. Until you check the news one day and the bubble shatters. Full Story

    Over 450 Kids at Morristown Camp

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    Life is a Journey

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    Hush by Eishes Chayel
    Guest
    Hush by Eishes Chayel

    I recently read a book entitled” HUSH!”. The author writes her name as Eishes Chayel because she does not want to be identified. I was schocked and affected in a way that I as a Bubby and retiree, wouldn’t believe posible. I told everyone I knew about it and recommended they read the book which is available in the public library.

    It’s about abuse that took place many years ago to a family you would lest expect by some one you would think you clould trust.

    The solution?
    Guest
    The solution?

    Whilst I agree with the Op-ed above, is it right to create anonymous websites with A “registry of offenders” where they post names of suspected abusers? What about false accusations? There is no way to defend one’s self against these accusations.
    How about that other local website posting the name and picture of an accused abuser? The man’s life has been turned upside down, his family is burying their heads in shame, and the accused hasn’t been convicted of anything yet. What happened to innocent until proven guilty?!

    unfortunately bubble didn't just burst
    Guest
    unfortunately bubble didn't just burst

    I greatly disagree with all those that are saying that we are now in a new era since the horrific recent incident in BP, being that the crime was commited by a Yid, Hashem yishmor. The reason that this made such a huge impact was because of the mass of volunteers, the HUGE press it got, and the no-words-to-describe horrific act that took place. Perhaps people were shocked that a crime this horrific was done by another Yid, but they should NOT be shocked unfortunately that abuse or other crimes, lo aleinu, can be commited by another Yid. Let’s get… Read more »

    should have a hotline
    Guest
    should have a hotline

    I think that there should be a private hotline of abuse that kids can call without the fear that there familys or friends will not believe them…just like woman have in the mikvah for spousel abuse there should be one for child abuse-molestation. it is everywhere and the time has come to blow the cover in the frum communities that these sick men will not get away with it any longer! we need to talk talk and talk again openly to our kids so they know they can trust you and be open with you and even then, to pray!!!… Read more »

    abuse on line
    Guest
    abuse on line

    parents wake up there is the molesters to be aware about for your children and there are many crazy stories on the internet too, do you know who your child communicates on line with? is the computer in a private place in the child’s room? is he-she up later than you on the web we need to be sooo careful with who they meet and friend over line, probably the biggest danger of today!!!!!! and for those mothers that don’t know how to use the computer get on with the program cause your children are way smarter and more advanced… Read more »

    Burst
    Guest
    Burst

    Since when do bubbles shatter? I thought they burst.

    Totally right
    Guest
    Totally right

    Very logically written, and very reasonable.
    I’m not sure if it would be Loshon Hara or maybe abuse is beyond that. We definitely should have access to a list with pictures of abusers.

    CH resident
    Guest
    CH resident

    I aggree and I will even say too bad no electric chair in NYC for this behema Levi Aron and all the others….google all the jewish molestors and don’t be surprise even your own neighbors or friends ??? so hats, beards with their tehilim and tefilos are all choleih nefesh!!! ALL IN JAIL !! and NOT WITH A BAIL OF $ 5000 meanwhile some parents and kids are dommaged for life!!! please report!!!

    what are you saying? Do we expose them all?
    Guest
    what are you saying? Do we expose them all?

    Most will agree that those that are abused are very likely to become a abuser. that being said there are two kinds of abusers. Those that were abused as a child, and as a teen became a abuser but went to therapy, and changed their ways. Got married had children and never abused again! Then there are those that in their 20’s 30’s 40’s keep abusing no matter how many times they were exposed and moved from place to place. Are you saying that we should make a list and ruin the lives of the family of the first category?… Read more »

    oy me haya lanu
    Guest
    oy me haya lanu

    Rabbanim!!
    We are standing here waiting for your calls.. enough of the shtusim!! Enough of the sweeping under the rug!!

    very true
    Guest
    very true

    true and well written. how many of us send our children to shul where they run around in the yard unsupervised, use bathrooms unsupervised. have we warned our children even in shul they need to be alert to “strange” people? how many shuls host anyone and everyone off the streets? how about at our shabbos tables? sure we welcome anyone for a meal, anyone who wants to come home from shul or is visiting from out of town. but are we aware not to leave our children alone with them when we dont even know them? i think we all… Read more »

    yasher koach
    Guest
    yasher koach

    i like the idea of publicizing predators like this…
    I think that the publicity itself could stop them because of shame and fear…

    Agreed, but I see a potential problem
    Guest
    Agreed, but I see a potential problem

    What happens if someone just decides to take “revenge” on a teacher or counselor or the creepy guy in the mikva? There are thousands of false accusations made every year and the fall-out is tragic. Fathers never recover from ex-wives claiming they touched their own children. Can you imagine what would happen if false accusations in our communities become public? No one will talk to anyone, we won’t host guests etc. Since little Leiby HYD there’s an atmosphere of paranoia.We have to be very careful that the information coming out is accurate. I definitely agree, the known molesters’ names should… Read more »

    victim
    Guest
    victim

    I am a Lubavitcher bochur who was molested in one of our very prestigious camps. Next week I will officially be reporting my abuser to the District Attorney, where he will be put on a “Offenders” list, and the proper measures will be taken to prevent him from ever hurting another child. I see how many of you are worried about whether he deserves it or not, and I’ve worried about it too. After all, Maybe he’s been rehabilitated. The truth is, I pity my abuser. He obviously is missing a few screws, and although I have no idea where… Read more »

    To #11
    Guest
    To #11

    You said: true and well written. how many of us send our children to shul where they run around in the yard unsupervised, use bathrooms unsupervised. Then maybe you need to keep an eye out for your children. Try being a PARENT & supervise them better. Escort your kids to the bathroom or have a much older child take a younger one. Don’t abdicate all parental responsibility and then cry that someone abused your kids. Start supervising instead of leaving it to others (like me) who have to make sure YOUR kids don’t drown in a mikvah, fall out of… Read more »

    other solution
    Guest
    other solution

    The children also need to be taught how to react in situations and know that it is NOT OK to be touched by someone in a way that they don’t like it. They need to know what to do in such a situatu\ion. Either their parents, teachers, or some other mechanech needs to teach it in teh appropriate way.

    in response to #9
    Guest
    in response to #9

    I would like to believe that what you say about the 1st category of abusers. But did you let the victime know of your therapy? Did you you apologize so the victime can have closure with this horrible experience?

    to #13
    Guest
    to #13

    If we are not going to trust the young of the generation when they come forward with their stories, then we are taking away their confidence to come forward at all.
    Please know that the website that has posted the “registry of offenders” checks and double checks that these accusations are real. They have listened to the stories of abuse first hand and know it is true.
    And just know, the rabbanim know about these people, and support this effort, we need to support it too.

    True solution
    Guest
    True solution

    Lately there has been alot of talk putting about printing the names of the abusers from 20-30-40 years ago. this is . this is a good thing so we can watch our children from them. but why dont we have programs in the schools teaching our kids how to watch out from predators and what to do if something happens? why is there no place for someone to turn to to get therapy if something did happen? so the victim does not become a abuser! Remember levi aron was not on any of these lists. the most important thing is… Read more »

    To # 15
    Guest
    To # 15

    Yes, pple should watch their children and give them the proper care. But, that has nothing to do with people being abused. A child going to camp should feel safe and carefree. They should not have a part of them die forever because of a molester in camp or a Rebbe in a Yeshiva. Let’s get real. Molesters have a sickness. They need to be reported and dealt with by therapists that work specifically in this field.

    TO  #19
    Guest
    TO #19

    ‘why dont we have programs in the schools teaching our kids how to watch out from predators and what to do if ..?”
    BECAUSE THERE ARE PREDATORS IN OUR KIDS SCHOOLS- YES TEACHERS!!! AND IT IS OUR FAULT BECAUSE WE ARE NOT TAKING A STAND TO GET THEM PUT AWAY!

    Unholy Camps
    Guest
    Unholy Camps

    My son reported abuse to the Director of one of the Holier Than Thou Prestigious Camps, to no avail. He never went back to any camp after that and I assure you no Grandchild of mine will ever attend any CHABAD camps.

    Spouse abuse
    Guest
    Spouse abuse

    Spouse abuse is another disease in our communities that is not being delt with.Women and families are being abused and emotionally destroyed daily.There is minimal support and less acknowledgment

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