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Monday, 15 Iyyar, 5779
  |  May 20, 2019

    What’s Rabbi Manis Thinking?

    From the COLlive inbox: Devorah, a former student of Rabbi Manis Friedman reveals what the renowned teacher really thinks about the issues of molestation and abuse. Full Article, Video

    Momentum For ‘Silence’ Initiative

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    clarity
    Guest
    clarity

    Thank you for approaching this subject with such clarity.

    Thank you again for your wonderful words of wisdom and inspiration.

    to r' manis friedman
    Guest
    to r' manis friedman

    You say that rabbi’s should do their roles. What about “rabbis” who have been molesters themselves?

    Shekoyach!
    Guest
    Shekoyach!

    Thank you for making a more sensitive recording on this subject.

    Thank you
    Guest
    Thank you

    On behalf of many who admire rabbi Friedman, thank you Devorah for having the courage and the decency to write this. Zchus horabim tolui boch!

    True feelings vs. Public face
    Guest
    True feelings vs. Public face

    There’s no question that R. Friedman has helped many people over the years. What is problematic to me is that what he personally feels (as was shown in the earlier video) which is dead-wrong differs from what he says publicly. I don’t believe he has really changed his thinking, and I’m not sure which is worse — standing by his words or pretending to recant them, though the latter is certainly more dangerous. He has a lot more work to do before he can be trusted imo.

    to #2
    Guest
    to #2

    they arent real rabbis, they are a hoax

    to number 2
    Guest
    to number 2

    They are obviously NOT doing their roles. Duuuuh.
    Secondly, this article is wonderful. Clarifying what a good man actually means. And yes, he made that clear, his speech was well over an hour and the eight minutes publicized don’t do it justice.
    We stand beghind you all the way Rabbi Manis!

    Reb Manis
    Guest
    Reb Manis

    We are behind you. Keep helping people.

    Let the detractors get distracted by the next “issue” they decide to run after.

    Much Clarity! Thank you
    Guest
    Much Clarity! Thank you

    Thank you for being so clear on the subject.

    How about we look at the full talk
    Guest
    How about we look at the full talk

    Very nice white washing but here is an actual quote “”I could open up an office and be busy full time just telling people who have been molested so? Nobody’s allowed to touch you, what are you holy?”
    The quote begins on 13.18 of the audio and the full talk of molestation starts at 9.30
    https://soundcloud.com/user937347419/rabbi-manis-friedman

    Rabbi m is human and makes mistakes too!
    Guest
    Rabbi m is human and makes mistakes too!

    rabbi mannis rocks!
    Thanks for clarifying.
    I knew there was something there
    That must have been misunderstood

    now i understand
    Guest
    now i understand

    still pretty insensitive, and he should apologize for coming across as insensitive, but now it makes alot more sense.

    Rabbi m is human and makes mistakes too!
    Guest
    Rabbi m is human and makes mistakes too!

    Besides that many didn’t understand what he said! Beautifull clear article!!

    To the people who attack Rabbi Friedman
    Guest
    To the people who attack Rabbi Friedman

    Can any of you shallow sensationalists claim to have helped even 1 percent of the victims that he has???? Do you think by crucifying this man it makes you more compassionate to the victims? Did you bother to understand his full opinion on this matter, which is probably more straight forward and helpful than yours… You should all shut up and bow before this man, for the life of devotion he has given to victims of abuse and so many others. Something none of you can claim to have done of a thousandth fold! By taking a few of his… Read more »

    It must be so lonely..
    Guest
    It must be so lonely..

    Not only to be one of the only people left who still lives by the motto “Moach Shalit Al Halev,” but he’s also perhaps the last one in Chabad with the courage to stand up for what Torah says, and against American pop culture. All the Shluchim and “greiseh mentchin” who are so quick to distance themselves from r’ manis are such a disappointment. “Let the people live in ignorance, let them only hear the secular point of view, as long as we don’t have any trouble..” Is this the Rebbe’s way? Has the Rebbe not taught us anything? Kol… Read more »

    about time
    Guest
    about time

    i was wondering when one of the thousands of people who have benefited from his work would come to his defense.

    Good for you and may you be an example to the rest of r. friedman’s students.

    Comon folks. where are you when he needs you?

    Unfortunately....
    Guest
    Unfortunately....

    As I agree with this article in every way, this is the kind of thing that Rabbi Friedman needs to be man enough to say himself. I watched the original video with my wife, who is one of these girls who “just got over” the abuse like Rabbi Friedman says you would “get over a diarrhea” and she was so hurt and the incredible insensitivity the man had. This video should have been what you wrote: a full throated apology. But he did not, and he is loosing all of our respect. Oh and btw, about the people who should… Read more »

    Insight
    Guest
    Insight

    Rabbi Manis Friedman is contrarian and will go out of his way to argue with conventional wisdom.However,”SAGES,BE CAREFUL WITH YOUR WORDS” is a quote from the Talmud(Avot 1,11),which even he is obligated to follow.

    to R' Manis Friedman
    Guest
    to R' Manis Friedman

    Is there anything with admitting you were wrong in the first video?

    Huh
    Guest
    Huh

    What did he say wrong, ms “Devora”

    Anonymous

    Um, no apology?
    Guest
    Um, no apology?

    Seriously, you made a mistake – own up to it! Rather than just posting a new video that contradicts everything else you said and brings in chanukah to make it look like you said it a while ago.
    Oh, and then getting a relative to come in and defend you.

    Grow up and admit you made a mistake. Apologize to the survivors that you hurt.

    Thank you
    Guest
    Thank you

    This really helps clarify the distinction he’s making between rabbis and therapists in the first video. He was talking to a group of rabbis! Explaining to them what their positions need to be! It wasn’t directed towards anyone else and shouldn’t have been taken out of context in the first place.

    Rabbi Friedman
    Guest
    Rabbi Friedman

    As someone who has benefited repeatedly by the support and counsel of Rabbi Manis and look up to him as my family does, we find him in addition to being wise and scholarly, a warm kind hearted individual.
    We pray you keep up your great work, and continue to bringing comfort and sagely advice to those who rely/call on you.
    Al yaivesh mipnei hamaligim.

    say I'm sorry
    Guest
    say I'm sorry

    Well Rabbi Friedman I’m glad you are somewhat contrite, however it would behoove you to actually say the words
    ” I’m sorry ” The unbelievable pain that you caused with your 9 minutes of sensationalism needs alot of Tshuva

    uh...what?
    Guest
    uh...what?

    “I do not, however, think he should not have said what he did.” so you agree with him? this whole article is misleading and confusing, and seems to be lashon hara to me.

    Just Apologize
    Guest
    Just Apologize

    I find this whitewashing article quite disturbing and offensive. Sounds like a cute way of trying to rehabilitate the Rabbi by playing offense and avoiding the inevitable . Why doesn’t Rabbi Friedman simply come out an apologize for what he said. Let him acknowledge that he is out of his element when discussing this matter. His ignorance — magnified by his jokes and insensitivity — about these issues is very evident (even in 8 minutes). Any attempt at explaining only amplifies how clueless Rabbi Friedman is. If he were a butcher, nu. But he is spending his life dispensing psychological… Read more »

    I Absolutely disagree with his approach
    Guest
    I Absolutely disagree with his approach

    I dont like his perspective. I understand yiddishkeit has what it has. But I do feel it minimizes the pain and fear that I’m sure is palpably felt by anyone who has gone thru that. And To say life is good – i feel totally minimizes the survivor’s pain which probably makes it easy for them to deny their true reality. People that go thru hell like that need to feel safe that their ok – that they’re not crazy to feel crazy or fearful or isolated from others. They need that confirmation more than anything and to have it… Read more »

    A social media controversy? Shocking!
    Guest
    A social media controversy? Shocking!

    This is the same rabbi friedman who has helped thousands. The same rabbi friedman who mekarev hundreds. The same rabbi friedman whom the Rebbe chose to deliver the Rebbe’s message during tv broadcast farbrengens.

    Dont allow an 8 minute video clip to let you forget that

    Great article
    Guest
    Great article

    A little sanity in a world where anyone with an Internet connection and a vendetta becomes a noisemaker.

    It is sad that the noisemakers set the tone, and heroes like R’ Manis have to “clarify”. If you didn’t understand, ask him! He doesn’t hide behind a website. He is available and has been available to thousands for over four decades.

    "Contaminated Oil"
    Guest
    "Contaminated Oil"

    Rabbi Friedman, after being abused as a child, by a “Rabbi” no less, my own brother called me damaged goods and when it came time for me to get married he wouldn’t let me go out with “normal” guys. I ended up marrying a guy who physically abused me….. and so it goes on…. once the oil is contaminated no one will use it.

    apology!
    Guest
    apology!

    Just say I’m sorry! Many, many people were hurt and deeply offended, by the first video, own up and move on.. in this video posted u would never know that just yesterday there was another video posted with a completely diffrent tune.

    No need to clarify, explain, etc.. just simply apologize!

    Hmmmm....
    Guest
    Hmmmm....

    There’s a saying those that are hurt – hurt others – im sure for a survivor – its very hurtful to hear life is good when it sure aint feel like that – so if thats his perspective i would not trust him around my kids. Rabbi Freidman does not need to change anyone – or anyone’s perspective- on their life or how they view things – he needs to be there empathetically and the torah message will get across no worries!!!

    to #2
    Guest
    to #2

    Um… what about them?

    Very wrong message....
    Guest
    Very wrong message....

    “It is not a rabbis job to protect an abuser from police”. He should be relaying a very clear message of the importance of going directly to the police in a case of abuse! The message is completely off and in a subtle way he is saying that it is ok to
    protect the molestors. For anyone who wants to hear a very level headed torah and psychological approach to this subject I highly recommend listening to mrs. Bronya shaffer, who has a tremendous amount of insight and experience on the topic.

    I was NOT offended!
    Guest
    I was NOT offended!

    first of all, anyone who was never been molested abused or raped has not say in this discussion. second, i have been a victim over a few years in my school years. two cousins and a third distant relative who were all older than me have taken advantage of my body on a constant basis. i have seen forgiven them for what they did and i now have a wife and family b”h and we are very happy and healthy having said that, i present my opinion on rabbi m. friedman’s original “insensitive” video: the joking was wrong without question,… Read more »

    HONESTLY!
    Guest
    HONESTLY!

    How many hours does a man have to give to his community, How many hours of family time does man have to sacrifice, How many hours of free advice does a man have to dispense, How many hours and days and weeks and months and years does a man have to dedicate to listening to people’s problems, How much compassion does a man have to show, How much does a man have to care, How many people, marriages and families does a man hav to save, Before his own community will give the common decency of th benefit of the… Read more »

    Do you hear the entire first talk of Rabbi Manis?
    Guest
    Do you hear the entire first talk of Rabbi Manis?

    I just finished listening to Rabbi Freidman’s entire first talk on the subject at hand, and it is clear that many commentators here and elsewhere have not heard it in its entirety. He was very clear in providing a good mindset for the victim of molestation to be able to move forward into normal life. The mindset he provided essentially expressed how a victim might shrug off self-imposed and incorrect feelings of blame or of feeling sallied. He clearly stated that issues of mistrust and other issues are serious, but not unique to molestation. And in providing a clear distinction… Read more »

    Never say you are sorry
    Guest
    Never say you are sorry

    Rabbi Freidman never says he is sorry. He’s a pull yourself up by the boot straps kind of guy. I think, though, that most rabbis find it easier to just throw kindness around without actually trying to help people . This is just his philosophy and you don’t have to like it or follow it. The problem is that so many people think Rabbi Freidman is so amazing that they go to him for every little thing and hang on every word he says. I’ve learned the hard way that you can’t take all these rabbis at their words. Be… Read more »

    Hiding Behind "Anonymous"
    Guest
    Hiding Behind "Anonymous"

    I agree with #35. If you have not been molested or abused you will never understand. You think you can go and say whatever you want while being protected by the “anonymous”. If you have been and are still outraged by what Rabbi Friedman said than you should really be listening to more of what the rabbi has to say. Rabbi Friedman has helped so many thousands of people over so many years and hardly gets a quarter of the recognition or appreciation he deserves. Then he makes one comment that your “wiser than G-d” self doesn’t understand and you… Read more »

    Get Your Egos In Check!
    Guest
    Get Your Egos In Check!

    How dare you say that Rabbi Friedman “made a mistake”?? Who are you to presume anything or jump to any conclusions?? Have you taken into account the million different points that may have lead up to those 8 minutes? What crowd was Rabbi Friedman talking to? What had been discussed before the clip in question? What was the vibe in the room during this lecture? And lastly, why do you think you know more about this topic than Rabbi Friedman? Take a minute to think with your head before you go spouting rude comments and random pesukim at a wise… Read more »

    empowerment
    Guest
    empowerment

    Only someone who has suffered the devastating long lasting effects of abuse can appreciate Rabbi Friedman’s advice from both videos. Of cource we are all sympathetic to the plite of the abused. Sympathy, though is not enough to help one get over it, even years later. What is most important is a solution how to face yourself as an abused person. How do you look at yourself. Have I been damaged for life? Rabbi Friedman gives us the deepest, most truthful answer : we are pure and cannot be defiled. This is a very liberating wonderful, truthful solution which does… Read more »

    Ok jonny
    Guest
    Ok jonny

    #1 manis has saved my life more then 4 times.
    I personally love his approach etc.
    Now an 8 minute clip will not change all the good I know him to be.
    Now after watching both videos 5 times it is clear what his point is.
    However I think he should and would apologize for the tone portrayed in the first clip.

    Only questiOn that matters
    Guest
    Only questiOn that matters

    To me, the Only question that matters is this: does rabbi Friedman support reporting molesters to the police, regardless of the cost to the molester and family? Or does he use “it’s no big deal” to persuade or pressure victims not to report abuse, because why nebech break up a family over a “small aveirah”? If he discourages reporting by minimizing the problem then he directly bears responsibility for the ongoing scourge of abuse in our community.

    to#38
    Guest
    to#38

    “I’ve learned the hard way that you can’t take all these rabbis at their words. Be skeptical, if it doesn’t feel right to you. ”

    Most do take them for every word, and most are not skeptical.

    Smh
    Guest
    Smh

    Out of disgust, I couldn’t really finish the video. But I did hear it through the part where he says our ancestors were molested by shaygetzes and still went on with life. To me, his fallacy is thinking its okay because our ancestors went on anyway. If the whole concept of Bishul and Chalav Yisrael and all the related chumrot/halachot is to prevent mixing in a friendly or marital sense, it is highly likely that Torah and Torah opinions wouldn’t reflect so positively on goyim committing atrocities on Jews. Particularly forced physical ones. Particularly if the whole ikkur inyan is… Read more »

    Honesty vs Anonymity
    Guest
    Honesty vs Anonymity

    It would be interesting to see how many of these posts are from family members of Rabbi Freidman. But alas, anonymity provides a cover that only intensifies distortions rather than bring truth to the surface…

    I am 38
    Guest
    I am 38

    To 44, but that’s just it. If you really respect someone, rabbi or not, and you hang on every word that person says and you take all advice to heart and you get burned, you learn to be skeptical. I think that all these chabad rabbis are bombarded with people looking for guidance and all kinds of help. Most of these rabbis are not trained professionals. They guide by the Torah and with common sense, if they blessed with it. People need to remember all of that.

    As a shlucha (and fan) I had to deal with the fallout!
    Guest
    As a shlucha (and fan) I had to deal with the fallout!

    A few of our community members – not Lubavitch – posted Rabbi Manis’s original video as shocking evidence of our community’s cavalier attitude towards molestation – Lumping us with Williamsburgh, Lakewood etc. when in fact we are more progressive than many in that we do report to authorities…that we are “exposing” the perpetrators.
    That’s why I was shocked. This is not the Rabbi Friedman I know. If he would apologize for at least misrepresenting us in the first video it would be so helpful. And honorable.

    I watched both videos in their entirety
    Guest
    I watched both videos in their entirety

    If anyone is intellectually honest, and I doubt that there are many today who are, (because people do not generally think for themselves) it is abundantly clear that Rabbi Friedman takes the issue of molestation very seriously and is sensitive to the pain of molestation. What is also clear is that he does not believe in FURTHERING the damage done by molestation, by victimizing the victim even more. How many people live with the idea that because they have been molested, they are permanent damaged goods? Rabbi Friedman point seems to be that we should encourage all victims of molestation… Read more »

    Hareini Mochel.. Torah's prescription
    Guest
    Hareini Mochel.. Torah's prescription

    Do we think about pirush Hamilois when we are mumbling those hebrew words? Isn’t it a Mishigas if, as an example, a woman was molested by here brother 20 years ago when they were both young, and now they are both married with children, and because she is taking that abuse so seriously and heavy, she decides that it’s never too late to out him so that she can “heal.” So now she goes ahead and tells everyone, and now her family is completely destroyed, her brother’s marriage is over, his kids’ lives are destroyed, her kids don’t speak to… Read more »

    relieved
    Guest
    relieved

    I was used by three different men in the community and I never told anyone or did anything about it. Now im a tired ‘old man’. I almost cried with joy when R Manis said that missing al hamichya is worse – that’s the Torah perspective, its not my sin! I love it!
    What I find hateful and idiotic is how fast the community turned against him.

    Think Jewish
    Guest
    Think Jewish

    The problem here is that everyone is looking at the abuse problem from the politically correct goish mass media perspective and Reb Mannis said slow down and look at it from a torah perspective. The torah perspective is different on many explosive issues then the present Goiish perspective. We do not have to accept what is currently the Moral Voice of society. For thousands of years when the general level of society was one of depravity and debauchery Torah stood as a lone light of humanity in the moral darkness. Now society is ready to destroy anyone committing child abuse… Read more »

    To #36
    Guest
    To #36

    Right on! You brought out very important points…

    Not an apology
    Guest
    Not an apology

    I wish that instead of posting a roundabout explanation, deleting all the posts on his Facebook wall criticizing him, and deleting the video to replace it with this one, he had handled this more directly. This comes off more like a PR move than even a straight apology would have. And at the very end of the video, he essentially criticizes all the people that have attacked him. I don’t think the way everyone has criticized him so roundly is right. There are always many people, OTD folks, angry atheists, etc, that are always waiting in the wings to take… Read more »

    Sharon
    Guest
    Sharon

    oh small people. kleine narisher menshen.

    this failed rosenberg misfit,does’t come to Rabbi Friedman’s misset. Leave Friedman alone. If all you complainers would live 300 years, you would not reach the wisdom and accomplishments he has attained.

    to number 14- A REAL MANIS FAN
    Guest
    to number 14- A REAL MANIS FAN

    “You should all shut up and bow before this man” a shining example of a manis fan. do you really think he can do no wrong? His approach is based on a shock value, on saying things that are not readily understood. I As many other people quoted, the torah warns him, Chachomm hizharu b’dvoreichem, He likes getting us worked up, he thinks he can explain his way out of everything… this is how he got his fans. this is also how he will loose respect. I wish he would just apologize for the jovial way in which he spoke… Read more »

    To number 26 - Rabbi Friedman's "SINS"
    Guest
    To number 26 - Rabbi Friedman's "SINS"

    Lets examine the 3 big sins of Rabbi Friedman. (1) The holocaust: Rabbi Friedman said that G-d was there by the crematories and let it happen. If you disagree with this statement check your understanding of hashgacha protis. You are wrong and Rabbi Friedman is right. (2) Arabs in Israel: Rabbi Friedman said Isarel belongs to the Jewish people and not to the Arabs. If you disagree with this check your knowledge of chumash. Again Rabbi Friedman is right and you are wrong. (3) Molestation: Rabbi Friedman said that an abused victim has the ability to overcome his past and… Read more »

    for all the good he has done and continues to do
    Guest
    for all the good he has done and continues to do

    has anyone every posted a “thank you” to R/ Friedman for what he has done to help people? you always know a great man when he gets flack for a one time insensitive or wrong. Moshe Rabbeinu was severely penalized for simply not talking to the stone…
    v’hamaivin yovin.

    to # 36
    Guest
    to # 36

    The answer my friend is blowing in the wind.

    Ridiculous
    Guest
    Ridiculous

    Its so ridiculous to say that Rabbi Friedman is insensitive to victims.
    He helps more victims then any of these haters. more then chaim levin more then scott rosenberg!!
    what have these guys done for the world other then spread loshon hara about others

    Mr Abused
    Guest
    Mr Abused

    Dear Rav Friedman, With considerable deference to your knowledge, I have to tell you that I was abused as a young child (I am from a chasidish background) and was hurt by the Rav’s comments and feel that the Rav is very wrong on this issue. For the Rav to dismiss the effects of abuse in the manner in which you did, e.g saying everybody is damaged, is not only hurtful to people like myself but also, I’m sorry to say, it shows that the Rav does not really understand the severe issues that being abused as a child can… Read more »

    Zev
    Guest
    Zev

    He said what many professionals know. The truth is that a child that has been molested is not harmed by the actual act of an adult using their body to selfishly get pleasure. It’s the adult that will be harmed, because he is wasting all his inner love, on something, which is not his wife. And therefore will not be able to exhibit those feelings to his wife or future wife. Unfortunately, 80% of kids are molested by someone somewhere and the vast majority grow up to have nice lives and families. There are children with Psycological problems that is… Read more »

    to number 43
    Guest
    to number 43

    Its pretty clear to me that the topic at hand, the topic to which rabbi friedman advises “its no big deal” is SPECIFICALLY in response to the ABUSED. To the abuser he would most certainly advise otherwise, acknowledging that it IS a big deal.
    A wise man knows WHAT must be said and TO WHOM!

    brilliant
    Guest
    brilliant

    I was abused by an older bochur at the age of seven or eight, and I carried the secret till well past my eighteenth birthday. Rabbi friedman, tzu langeh gezunte yor’n, changed my mindset of “the world is closing in on me” to that of “so what? He touched me? And therefore what? Am I damaged goods?? Certainly not!” He changed my mindset by simply showing me, explaing how I am NOT UNIQUE in that sense. How that doesn’t make me a different creature! I kicked back at first, because I had gotten used to playing victim and having people… Read more »

    What is going on here?
    Guest
    What is going on here?

    Look what’s going on here. “Devorah” has the decency to thank rabbi Friedman instead of join the Motzi Shem Ra/Lashon Hara bandwagon. Then all the geniuses who have to hear themselves speak chime in. For example: #5 agrees that RF has “helped many”, but insists he is “dead-wrong”. Never considered the possibility that he himself and modern psychology fads might be wrong. #21 is in such a rush to judgement that s/he decided that Devora must be related to RF. And sees nothing wrong with saying to a world-renowned teacher “grow up”! #26 decides that it is time RF gets… Read more »

    I was molested
    Guest
    I was molested

    And like hundreds of other women I spoke to the Rabbi about being molested, to which he laughed me in the face and said ok, now that you got it out, you’re fine, and get over it. Until I decided to not listen to him and go for therapy, I felt more guilty after speaking to him. Guilty for being upset about being abused by a number of family members for years. For some reason he thinks that logic can heal emotional pain from molestation. It has nothing to do with moach sholit al halev. G-d supports our feelings and… Read more »

    wondering
    Guest
    wondering

    lots of gut points. I get the approach, however, can’t help but wonder would this really still be the same tone had any of his children or grandchildren chas v’shalom experienced such trauma? I don’t want to make any assumptions. Maybe so.

    Move on
    Guest
    Move on

    With over twenty years of community service, there is no doubt that way to many victims use their past experience as a crutch not to move on in life. What I hear Rabbi Friedman saying to the Rabbis (it was a lecture to Rabbis and educators that was publicized), when a victim approaches you, encourage him and her to move on. The mere suggestion to request an apology for that is absurd. That is absolutely the message the Rabbis need to hear, and the message that those coming to Rabbis for guidance and strength needs to hear. An individual coming… Read more »

    This video offers clarity.
    Guest
    This video offers clarity.

    The problem is, that although rabbis have a different role, if the self is damaged, the person only feels more guilty or angry when told that life is good. They need to be encouraged to seek therapy to heal the self, in order to be receptive to something more global.

    People who are emotionally damaged are not intellectually receptive.

    Pure evil
    Guest
    Pure evil

    This attack on rabbi manis is pure evil. Even if he was saying what they wish he was saying, the attack is not commensurate with the vitriol. It is evil and like every evil in history, it claims to represent a good cause. Bah! Rabbi Manis will save a thousand abuse victims before they and their indignant save one.

    Save it folks, you ain’t fooling anyone and the sooner you disappear the better off all your beloved abuse victims will be.

    finally
    Guest
    finally

    rabbi friedman presented THE TRUE TORAH APPROACH you may not like it but this is the only perspective that really works , too many are starting to believe ” the well intended, but misguided activists”

    Shake off the shmutz
    Guest
    Shake off the shmutz

    Rabbi Friedman has always hit the mark with his sage advice. Walllowing in it only benefits the therapists. So yes, like everything else in life, build a bridge and get over it. It may seem insensitive in our politically correct society, but it’s the TRUTH.

    #43
    Guest
    #43

    that is your opinion (and you did not put a name there, so we do not know your status – you could be a certified nut living of disability, or a productive expereienced PHD……), however if they are going to Rabbi Friedman (who has put his name out there for more then forty years) they will get his opinion. The G-d Almighty should continue to give him the strength to being there for those that turn to him. I am reminded of a story, Rabbi Sholom Ber Gordon took a Rabbi from NJ to the Rebbe, who complained about the… Read more »

    Even Rabbi Manis?
    Guest
    Even Rabbi Manis?

    As a BT of many years, I am relieved to see the felonious aveira of molestation at least being dealt with, but I am appalled by the frum world’s denial, blame the victim syndrome, criminal cover-ups cloaked in self-righteous piety and elitism! Ain’t no Moshiach coming with broken children, injustice, and fundraisers for perps! A major Rav accuses an innocent Jewish girl of being a zona on Shabbos and then cries anti-Semitism when the monster Weberman is sentenced?! I shudder to imagine a world controlled by such rabbis! Did the Rebbe ever address this issue? Surely, some distraught parent must… Read more »

    thanks
    Guest
    thanks

    loved the way r’ manis brought out the lesson from the chanuka story. very powerful. I hope I remember to use it in the future in similar situations. We should be thanking HYB for giving us R’ Manis, a light of emes in this world of sheker and dakness. He should be healthy and strong and continue his holy work with more strength.

    As a survivor myself...
    Guest
    As a survivor myself...

    I have moved on with life, started a good business, have a lovely family, done everything I can to ‘get over it’…
    The original video was extremely offensive and hurtful. After watching it I had an awful nights sleep and was plagued by nightmares. Molestation is never something to joke about, and ‘getting over it’ is not a simple thing.

    Take a deep breath
    Guest
    Take a deep breath

    If you’re offended consider yourself apologized to; i.e. he certainly didn’t mean to offend you. He was making a deeper point and if you dont appreciate deeper points stay with the superficial.

    If you were judged by an eight minute clip of your life you may not come out smelling like a rose except to those who know you.

    Rabbi Friedman is not a stranger to any of us. We know what he thinks on every subject. Google him. This is not the first time he has adressed the issue of abuse.

    HEy you!
    Guest
    HEy you!

    you guys are contaminated with the society’s way of thinking of shtinking politiclly correct rule and how everything must be said nicely even though “IT COVERS THE TRUTH”
    the ones affected have declared already that his message was actually of great help! STOP STOP STOP saying veltdike shtusim, and try to understand somethings as a jew proud to be jewish and not with goyishe thinking.

    GROW UP GUYS, this VELT is not a NICE movie.

    Listen!
    Guest
    Listen!

    Ever heard of a quote being repeated out of context? Maybe you all should listen to the entire lecture before you comment on this clip. Listen and hear what he really said!!

    SF's take on this subject
    Guest
    SF's take on this subject

    I heard someone (He is not a professional in this field, however he did) say something that really makes sense: Learn to dis-identify. It’s not who you are. You don’t have to identify yourself as a victim. Maybe right now when it happened, but not in the long run. We keep on using the word “survivor”; you don’t want to identify yourself as a survivor! In other words, ok, that happened to you, that’s horrible and painful, and you do have to work some stuff out about it. But don’t spend the rest of your life identifying yourself as a… Read more »

    FULL CLIP
    Guest
    FULL CLIP
    To #43
    Guest
    To #43

    R’ Friedman does not think molesting is a small aveira. He is discussing the side of the victim. He is explaining to the victim that from the perspective of sin, the victim does not have to worry. He explains that for the victim, not saying al hamichya is a transgression, while the molestation was not a sin he is responsible for, it was done TO him.

    He actually made only ONE mistake...
    Guest
    He actually made only ONE mistake...

    The original talk/video should have NEVER gone public.

    That was a lecture to a specific audience – Rabbis, in the field of Education. Almost confidential. I’m positive that it wasn’t meant for the public at large…

    To have it “thrown” in the Internet – that was for sure greatly insensitive. And an apology would be called for.

    R. Friedman, you have tought us so well about boundaries…this video gone public broke some of them…and people are hurting.

    ENOUGH!
    Guest
    ENOUGH!

    like all the above people said: you don’t understand what he meant? Ask him! He’s accessible 24 hours a day. The chutzpah of people getting on this rechilus bandwagon to malign a man who has done nothing but good, mostly at no charge, to thousands of people is mind-boggling. ask for clarification, he does not need to apologize. if you understood the context, he said absoluetely nothing wrong….witness the victims of abuse who have written on this site to say they AGREE with him. I rest my case…except to say: Hang in there Rabbi Friedman, this will soon be yesterday’s… Read more »

    Thank you #84!!
    Guest
    Thank you #84!!
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