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  |  August 15, 2020

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What to Look for in Shidduchim

Rabbi Nachman Wilhelm of Online Smicha discusses what characteristics to look for when considering a shidduch. Video

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40 days before being born...
September 4, 2014 9:36 am

people are so focused on yichus and treating bts and gerim as second class citizens that I would be surprised if anyone actually marries the person the bas kol declares for them…

dys
June 16, 2013 8:04 am

I heard that the Rebbe Rashab said that a bachur should look for in a shidduch primarily 4 things and in this order:
1) yiras shomayim/tznius
2) good midos
3) seichel
4) meshichas halev/ physical attraction

Geshmak
May 30, 2013 8:18 pm

Thanks Rabbi for the insights. They are a big help.

Yaakov Mark

to # 10 4 and 7
May 29, 2013 7:51 pm

No need to spell correctly with a bissele gelt

to #4 and #7
May 28, 2013 8:01 pm

What about the ability to spell?

yihus
May 26, 2013 2:24 am

if the boy or girl are otherwise solid, well adjusted kind and frum… their’re personal merit helps them get the right shiduch and to stay clear of anyone who has the wrong values such as placing yichus first!

the rebe doesnt consider YICHUS an essential!
May 26, 2013 2:17 am

provided that he/she is jewish and Has the IKARIM listed in post 4

to #5
May 26, 2013 2:16 am

good question
there are some conditions which do not interfere with ones ability to have and raise children

however there are other conditions (phisical and mental) which absolutely DO preclude one from being able to have a happy/healthy/functional family
and those who are so challenged need first to seek appropriate treatment to the point where an a (trained certified) expert renderes them capable enough not to ch”v ruin the next generation

abe montreal
May 24, 2013 7:25 pm

whats about” yihus”
in the frume world if you don’t have Yihus
they don’t even look at you!!

to #4
May 24, 2013 9:56 am

and those with some physical or emotional deficiencies are not entitled for shidduch?

The Rebbe's list
May 23, 2013 9:59 pm

1. Has fear of Heaven
2. Good Middois, Kind, compassion, Humble, Refined,
3. Once the couple meet there MUST be attractin of the heart (hamshichas halev)
4. Health: Emotional and Phisical

Not to check carefully for the above is reckless and dangerous

BH
May 23, 2013 9:19 pm

mazel tov rabbi for your daughter!!

to #1
May 23, 2013 6:58 pm

ONLY!!!!!!!

gelt
May 23, 2013 5:45 pm

gelt helps

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