What if Teachers and Parents Stopped Talking?

Two weeks ago, I spotted a group of my former 8th-grade students standing at a street corner. They are teenage bochurim—home after a year away in various yeshivos. I stopped to say hello, and before I knew it, we were all walking towards my house with Farbeisen in tow. The boys lit a campfire on my back porch, roasted marshmallows, and asked if I would Farbreng.

“Not really,” I responded. “Today I would rather shmooze.”

It didn’t take long for the floodgates to open. The boys had so much to share about the highlights and challenges of their past year. I barely said a word—there was no need. My role, in that setting, was to simply listen.

The conversation continued late into the night. As I sat there, I realized how geshmak, how absolutely enjoyable it was to have this genuine human interaction with my students. It was a visceral reminder of something we all know intellectually: That the most important (and perhaps most rewarding) part of chinuch is the emotional connection we can form with our students.

In our current age, that authentic connection is needed more than ever. For better or for worse, children these days are acutely aware of their emotional reality. An eight year old today may be more articulate about their feelings than an eighteen year old in the past. The kids know exactly what they need, and they are brutally honest about it.

Are we listening to them?

As parents and teachers, we are often in a rush. We are behind schedule, trying to keep up. And when we do spend time with our kids or students, we are naturally focused on the important lessons we want to impart to them. But first we must ask ourselves: Are we paying attention to their words and body language? Do we take the time to get to know the smart, deep, and truthful human beings they are? Are we teaching the subject or the student?

Genuine, uninterrupted listening is where that relationship between an educator and child is formed. And that relationship is where the real chinuch happens.

The day after the school year ended, I spoke to a first-time teacher who I mentored. He told me happily that on the last day of school his students had surprised him with thank you notes and a meaningful gift. I knew that the beginning of the year had been rocky, so I asked him, “When was the turning point?”

Without hesitation, he answered, “Remember when we discussed taking each kid out of the class for 2-3 minutes to check in on how they are doing? When I started doing that, the energy in the classroom completely shifted.”

Ultimately, teachers and parents hope that their kids will turn to them for guidance and advice. Our kids will come running to hear from us after they feel heard by us. And what I rediscovered that night by the campfire is that when we do make the time to listen, it’s as much a gift to ourselves as it is to our children.

Join us this summer at the 8th annual Art of Chinuch Teacher Training Program. Let’s explore how to effectively lead and educate our students. Let’s learn how to balance and blend care, warmth, structure, rigor and growth. We are already investing so much time and energy into our teaching, let’s do it right.

Rabbi Levi Feldman

 

Mechanchim in-person and online training begins 1 Av / August 5th

Mechanchos online training begins 10 Av / August 14th 

 

Highlights:

➡ How to create a caring environment.
➡ How to design effective classroom routines.
➡ How to enjoy teaching without the draining discipline.
➡ How to turn problems into opportunities.
➡ How to inspire students to exceed expectations.

Registration and more information is available at www.ArtofChinuch.com

What teachers are saying:

“It is very rare that you get a teaching course from a teacher with many years of experience who is still teaching full time in the classroom,”
Rabbi Yosef Wolowik (Los Angeles, CA)

“With Rabbi Feldman, it’s not theory, it’s based on what is tried and tested in the classroom.”
Rabbi Hershel Lustig – (Brooklyn, NY)

“As a first-year teacher, jumping into school was daunting, but what kept the classroom running were the reminders, tips, and tools I gained from Rabbi Feldman’s classes.”
Ms. Leah Deren (Pittsburgh, PA)

“Rabbi Feldman’s training was invaluable. His classroom management techniques have been implemented as part of our staff handbook.”
Rabbi Fogel YTT (Brooklyn, NY)

“Your clarity combined with your passion truly inspired our teachers to make practical changes. The bite size titles in conjunction with your practical anecdotes, are instantly doable and empowering to all level Mechanchim, veterans and novices alike.”
Rabbi Shmuel Geisinsky (Buenos Aires, Argentina)

“This course addresses many pressing challenges a teacher encounters both in and out of the classroom. It provides systematic routines and solutions to everything, from lesson planning to delivery and teacher student interaction.”
Mrs. Chavi Rappaport (Toronto, Canada)

Join us this summer:

www.ArtofChinuch.com/intensivetraining