What Do You Think is Important to Mommy?

Chinuch is in the Air

By Dena Gorkin, Principal Bnos Chomesh

Many years ago, a friend challenged me to ask my children: “What do you think is important to Mommy?” Asking this question is a great way for parents to discover what they are prioritizing in their home. If the answers are “fancy clothing” or “a nice car”, you might want to consider making some adjustments. As Chassidim we want our children to know that our priorities are trust in the Aibersther, a relationship with the Rebbe, being kind to others, being emotionally centered, and so forth. The surest way for them to adopt these values for themselves is by seeing their parents live them.

 

The same applies to schools. School leaders have the awesome responsibility of creating a culture that reflects the values we want our students to imbibe. And all school staff are essential in transmitting these core values. We want our students to grow up to be Yirei Shomayim, love knowledge, and approach challenges with curiosity, not fear.

 

We also want our students to be emotionally resilient and have tools to handle life’s obstacles, and see them as gifts from the Aibershter to help us rise to our best selves.

 

Today many schools implement classroom curricula for social-emotional learning. But this is not enough. These lessons need to be embedded into the entirety of the school day. It needs to be such an integral part of the school culture that if a child comes to the school office, anxious because she doesn’t know what time she is being picked up, the secretary is able to walk her from her anxiety to a place of calm.

 

It was not until five years ago that I realized just how important school culture really is. At the end of the school year, one of our graduates came to my office bearing a gift. When I opened the box, I found a custom wall hanging entitled “Mrs. Gorkin’s Rules of Bnos Chomesh”. Under the title was a list of adages that all of Bnos Chomesh staff repeat so often, that to our students they seem like actual school rules. Here is that list:

• Be Solution Oriented

• Do 60 Seconds

• Say Something Lofty

• Take a deep breath

• Sing on Key

• Always Try to Grow

• Try Your Best

• Don’t Stress Out

• Only U Can Change

• Make it a Great Day!

• Be a חסיד

 

Just as children do in their homes, students pick up the values that infuse the air around them at school. At the end of her time in Bnos Chomesh, this graduating student had absorbed what she perceived to be at the core of our school culture. Her beautiful gift hangs on my office door and serves as a constant reminder of the power that I as a mechaneches have to make the אווירה of my school one of joy, curiosity, support, and kedusah.

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