Unbreakable Bonds
The analogy of a marriage to an “everlasting edifice” is not merely a figure a speech, but there is an important idea and instruction in it. It is that just as in the case of any structure, the first and most important thing is to ensure the quality and durability of the foundation, lacking which all the efforts put into the walls and roof and decorations, etc., would be of no avail, and so it is in regard to a Jewish marriage which, first of all, must be based on the foundation of the Torah and mitzvoth, then follows the blessing of the joy and rejoicing of the beloved couple for the rest of their life.
The Rebbe
As the holiday of Shavuoth approaches, the calendar is marked by numerous weddings, almost every day. So too, the marriage of Israel and the Torah on 6 Sivan parallels the height of joy: the union of a bride and bridegroom. The Avner Institute presents three letters filled with mazel tovs, as well as emphases on adherence to tradition and religious practice, particularly the Laws of Family Purity, to ensure Jewish continuity and the strength of the Jewish home.
In loving memory of Hadassah bas Schneur Zalman
“Loyalty to obligations”
On the importance of convictions in marriage.
By the Grace of G-d
28 Teveth 5722
Brooklyn, NY
Miss Bassheva Zucker
c/o Zimberg
973 Montgomery Street
Brooklyn, NY
Blessing and Greeting:
I received your letter of the 21st of Teveth.
I trust that it is unnecessary for me to emphasize to you at great length that marriage is, in accordance with the text of the blessing, “an everlasting edifice” (binyan adei-ad), and that everything connected with it is not only of immediate and vital concern to the bride and bridegroom but has a bearing also on their children. Therefore, it is self-understood that the maximum attention should be given to those factors which are essential to ensure a happy life partnership and an everlasting Jewish home.
It is of no importance whatever in such a case to pay attention to the opinion of a neighbor or an acquaintance. An obvious example would be in the case where a deal is under consideration involving a million dollars, when it would be foolish to pay attention to nickels and dimes, and thereby overlook essential conditions which affect the whole deal.
With specific reference to the matter about which you write in your letter and which seems to worry you, let me say this: when a young man has got the strength of will and the strength of character to wear a beard, and has done so for several years, even at a time when wearing a beard was not such a popular thing as it is now, not only in Orthodox circles but even in circles which have nothing to do with religion, it surely shows great courage and conviction, as well as a loyalty to obligations—all of which are essential qualities to ensure a happy family life.
It is surely also unnecessary for me to add that where religious boys do not wear a beard, it is not because they have the strength of character and conviction, rather because of the lack of them.
Finally, it is important to bear in mind what is written in the Zohar and in other holy sources, that this is a special channel and vessel to receive additional G-d’s blessings, materially and spiritually.
With blessing,
[signature]
“Quality and durability of the foundation”
On the laws and regulations of a Jewish marriage.
By the Grace of G-d
27 Marcheshvan 5726
Brooklyn, NY
Jewish Institute for Brides & Grooms
5200 Côte St. Catherine #7
Montreal, P.Q., Canada
Greeting and Blessing:
Your letter reached me with some delay. Thank you very much also for the enclosures dealing with your activities and programs.
I hope that you are making efforts not only to maintain your activities in high gear, but also to extend them from to time. For, needless to say, a marriage in Jewish life is in institution which is called binyan adei-ad – an “everlasting edifice.” And in order that it should be so, it is necessary that everything connected with a marriage of a bride and groom should be in full compliance with the instructions of our Torah, which is called Toras Chaim, because it is not only the source of everlasting life in the Hereafter, but also the true guide in life on this earth.
The analogy of a marriage to an “everlasting edifice” is not merely a figure a speech, but there is an important idea and instruction in it. It is that just as in the case of any structure, the first and most important thing is to ensure the quality and durability of the foundation, lacking which all the efforts put into the walls and roof and decorations, etc., would be of no avail, and so it is in regard to a Jewish marriage which, first of all, must be based on the foundation of the Torah and mitzvoth, then follows the blessing of the joy and rejoicing of the beloved couple for the rest of their life.
In view of the above, it is also clear that there is a standing obligation upon everyone to help a bride and groom to establish such an everlasting edifice, and it would be totally unjustified to think that it is a matter of their own personal life, in which no one has a right to interfere. Surely when one sees someone bent on harming herself or himself and their children, or about to do something which might lead to self-destruction, G-d forbid, one will not consider it “interference” or “encroachment” to try to prevent that person from harming himself. Similarly, when there is an opportunity to help someone with a lasting benefit, surely it is an elementary duty so to do, how much more so where the benefit is a truly everlasting one.
I send you my prayerful wishes to continue your good work in helping young couples to establish truly Jewish homes, homes that are illuminated with the light of the Torah and mitzvoth, above all with the observance of the laws and regulations of taharas hamishpocho [Laws of Family Purity]. May you do so with deep inspiration and with ever growing hatzlocho [success].
With blessing,
[signature]
“In an auspicious day and month”
The time of the year adds a special blessing to marriage.
By the Grace of G-d
Rosh Chodesh Sivan 5736
Brooklyn, NY
Mr. Mordechai Shoel Landow
4340 N. Bay Road
Miami Beach, FL 33140
Greeting and Blessing:
I just received your telegram about your daughter’s marriage taking place today.
I hope and trust that the bride and bridegroom have made a firm resolution to establish their home on the foundations of the Torah and mitzvoth, which will also bring them an additional measure of Divine blessings for a truly happy future.
I extend to you and to Mrs. Landow, as well as to the newlyweds, prayerful wishes of mazal tov, and may you and your wife have true nachas [joy] from each and all of your children, in good health, good parnosso [livelihood] and a happy frame of mind.
With the blessing of mazal tov, mazal tov,
[signature]
P.S. I would like to add that the marriage is taking place in an auspicious day and month, in the week of the Festival of Mattan Torah, when G-d gave the Torah to all our people, including and in the presence of—as our Sages declare—all Jewish souls of all future generations.
It is also fitting to emphasize here, again, the great zechus [merit] that is yours and your family’s in being instrumental in the establishment of the thriving Torah institutions in your city under the auspices of Lubavitch, which has also impacted other communities. I am confident that this will be an inexhaustible source of Divine blessings to you and yours also in your personal affairs, materially and spiritually, and enable you to go from strength to strength in your delicate public work under conducive and happy circumstances.
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