An open letter to the Lubavitch community by Rabbi Yacov Barber:
The Frierdike Rebbe in volume 3 of his Igros Kodesh writes that Reb Zalman Zezmer repeated in the name of the Alter Rebbe, that “even Maloch Michoel cannot accomplish what a Chassidishe farbrengen can accomplish…”
The Alter Rebbe explained the power of a Chassidishe farbrengen with a remarkable parable: When a father sees his children living together with love and affection and each child is concerned with the needs of their sibling, the father is filled with nachas and will graciously fulfill their request.
We were privileged to experience the above on the Shabbos before Gimmel Tammuz 5781 at the Rebbe‘s Ohel. A group of us were in the midst of a leibedike and heartfelt farbrengen when one of those present felt comfortable enough to begin to cry. He shared the pain he is experiencing and the challenges he is facing in finding a place for his son in a Mesivta.
This opened the floodgates and other fathers shared similar stories they either experienced or heard. I banged my hand on the table and related what I once heard from Reb Yoel Kahn, may he live and be well. He said, “the downside of crying is once we have finished crying, we come to a level of peace and acceptance about the situation. That, he said is no good. We need to commit to do something to try and deal with the issue and perhaps even solve the problem.”
This was the impetus of a group of already very busy people – rabbonim, mechanchim, Shluchim, askanim, businessmen – to give of their time to help solve this crisis that is having a long-term effect on our children (and families, mosdos, communities and Lubavitch as a whole as a result).
After the initial announcement by Rabbi Shmully Hecht, we received a response that was overwhelming and truly beyond our wildest dreams. Parents who reached out to us commented that they now felt that they finally had someone who was listening to their predicament.
Over 100 parents contacted various members of the group and we asked each one of them three questions. What has been your experience? Do you have any ideas moving forward? Are you willing to help?
After collating the responses and trying to best understand the issues at hand we formulated our mission statement that being; Every single Lubavitch bochur graduating year 8 should be registered in a Chabad Mesivta by the end of the Spring preceding the new Mesivta school year. Seminaries and Camps will be included at a later stage.
(Even though it was not part of what we set out to do, we managed in a few days to place 6 boys in overnight summer camps. These camps were full, yet they opened their hearts and made it work, and for that, we will be forever thankful.)
We have set ourselves immediate, medium, and long-term objectives all of which focus exclusively on our Mission Statement.
We have had very fruitful discussions with countless people in the area of chinuch, including Rabbi Nachum Kaplan of the Merkos Chinuch Office. It is clear that everyone understands the nuances and magnitude of this crisis.
As this Vaad Hachinuch is formalized, I urge you to reach out to me directly with any challenges you are facing, any advice you have, and lastly your ability to help us in whatever manner you can. I can be reached at: [email protected]
Rabbi barber is a special chossid always seeing how to help others
It’s beautiful to form a Vaad to help, but I think you should give credit to all the Yeshivos that opened to cater to the boys who are not accepted to some Yeshivos. Darchei Menachem, CH Wilks Barre, PA JETS in CA Achai Temimim, a partner of Choviva Torah, NY Monsey has a school There is a high school in CH for girls who do not or cannot attend main stream high schools. There is a Seminary in Pittsburgh for girls who do not want to attend a main stream Seminary. Not to mention Aliyah who caters to males and… Read more »
It’s my understanding that boys who are in “the system” can’t find placement in mesivtas this upcoming school year. It seems that there just aren’t enough seats.
You are viewing yeshivos as being either inside the system or outside the system. You are viewing neshamos the same way, as being fit for “the system” or belonging outside “the system.” Practically, there is no “system.” There is a sliding scale of schools that aim to cater to the diverse needs of bochurim. Unfortunately, even with the tremendous array of options available, countless bochurim struggle through years of yeshiva because they were not sent to a school that genuinely caters to their individual needs. The view that certain yeshivas are outside “the system” creates a stigma and makes it… Read more »
Your post was long but well worth reading every word.
I think it should be printed up,
re-posted and sent to every educator and every parent, and repeated over and over again.
This is such a well thought out comment that it deserves special attention. Parents: Please read carefully, and with as much objectivity as you can muster. Why not help create a new class in an existent school, and help fund it, if need be; or brainstorm with others for possible ways to keep bochurim who learn differently in the school system you would like them to be part of.. There’s nothing inherently wrong with a square peg; it just won’t work well to insist it can be made to fit into a round hole Mosdos chinuch: Please be open minded… Read more »
Maybe next there should be vaad to insure that any couple that wants should be able to have a makom hashlichis….
Thank you very much for organizing and arranging something for mesivta boys.
However, we are having a hard time finding a place for our son going into zal. Unfortunately, nothing seems to be working.
Any help will be appreciated!!
Y.H.
Pls be in touch via email thanku
Rabbi Barber
Same by us
HKBH should bentch you with taking care of His precious children. Ahavas Yisroel at work, this will surely lead to tremendous improvements for the chinuch of our precious youth.
Kol Hakovod
I am so proud of those that are taking responsibility for this important project! May you have great success!
The administration has made it very clear to the Toronto community that the highest level of concern they have is their reputation. This was stated in clear words at a recent parent meeting.
If your son isn’t up to par, he will not be welcome.
It sounds like they are very clear on the type of bochur they are able to cater to. Surely you wouldn’t want a school to accept responsibility for educating a child that they really feel they’re not able to cater to?
The students of Ohr Temimim MUST be dedicated to secular studies and a pursue of a secular education. If not, and they only want “al tahras hakodesh” they need to go to the other mesivta at Yeshivas Lubavitch Toronto. The lines are clear of who belongs where.
Does Ohr Temimim of Toronto encourage or discourage college after mesifta? Wasn’t made as an alternative to the serious mesifta at Yeshivas Lubavitch Toronto (run by Rabbis Wagner and Oster)?
This is the greatest Chesed to help a young Bochur lead a life of Torah and Chasidus and give his parents true Nachas
Maybe there could be a vaad to help with Shidduchim! Please!!
That’s next. The Shiduch crisis and the shlichus crisis. The plagues will come to an end!
HELLO
Do you think we really dont want to accept your child ?
It tears our heart
Yet please dont make it so difficult to accept him
Raise him ..Give him basic Chinuch..I promise you we will take him
Yet we are not zoo keepers and cant be blamed for absentee parents
Sometimes a school can ruin a child for life. Because they side with Parents who pay big bucks, its rabbi so and so son, someone told a lie and gave a wrong “title” about the child etc… and children leave with the acknowledgment its fortune and fame over my life. Everyone has to stop pointing fingers and for once point it at yourself!
If you believe a moised operates in such a way, – you probably don’t want your child there.
Your extreme narrow Vision towards chinuch in our day amd age makes it sound like you really don’t belong in Chinuch. It sounds very immature!! Like a child giving advice on parenting. There are many parents today who have put their blood, sweat, and tears into their children’s Chassidishe chinch, and yet they still don’t turn out Chassidish. Children are a product of many factors in today’s age. A child who isn’t Chassidish is not necessarily due to “absentee parents”. And referring to yourself as a “zookeeper” when you are caring for students, makes it sound like you’d be better… Read more »
And is it something just from ch?
If someone mind explaining thanks
What about seminaries? This is no less critical for our girls than it is for our boys. Stop rejecting, crushing and turning away OUR girls
What if they just don’t have room.
KIDS WILL LOVE LEARNING AND LOVE YIDDISHKEIT IF ITS HALF DAY LEARNING AND HALF DAY ACTIVITIES/MUSIC /ART LESSONS. THATS WHAT KIDS REALLY NEED
“Half day learning and half-day activities” – well not every kid wants half day learning, why not offer all-day activities in a frum chassidishe atmosphere, observing the beauty of nature (nifloas haboreh), sports and group activities (achdus and ahavas yisroel), cookouts and great food (brochos and hakoras hatov to Hashem). Learning does not need to be from books. One can learn everything from the world around him.
A yeshiva’s purpose is not to make a boy book smart (no matter if the book is nigleh or chassidus). It is to make the boy into a mensch. Thst he should feel good about himself and be happy. A depressed person is not a chassidishe person. We must keep our boys happy = simcha poretz geder. mitzva gedola lihyos bsimcha, ivdu ess Hashem bsimcha. Does it matter if he turned another page of gemarah or maamor? One page more or one page less does not matter in life’s big picture. A happy person matters. He will succeed. And that… Read more »
On a zoo they keep the animals happy, well fed and entertained. A yeshiva is not a zoo for bochurim. It isn’t a place to store your son until he is ready to get married.
It took 5000 kids to leave the path, several hundred overdoses and a few dozen suicides for these “mechanchim” to wake up.
If you can’t handle bochurim from backgrounds other then a shliachs household, you should go work elsewhere.
Can’t understand!!
if you understood this issue so long ago, why didn’t you do something about it ?
How about we thank those that are helping instead of criticizing that it’s not good enough
Work elsewhere? You’ll have no teachers left,
You want every mechanech to be able to cater to every type of bochur?
Let’s wake up and realize teachers are human beings that try their best yet obviously have their limitations in being able to help every single type of child.
Stop blaming those that work the hardest for our children and let’s appreciate
For some reason there are many new “Mesivtos” opening up – but absolutely no “Zals” There are very few choices of Zals, even for regular mainstream bochrim. Any reason for this?
A quick critical point. In as much as Parents want a yeshiva to be inclusive. And as much as Yeshiva’s want to be inclusive. The reality remains, that parents themselves will not send their child to a Yeshiva that has students not up to par. Whether it’s level of learning, whether it’s level of a Chassidishkeit, or The level of exposure to the outside world of social media and other negative influences that come along with a young bochur having a smart phoneR”L or other Internet enabled devices. Filters are a joke and delusional. And so The same body of… Read more »
All chinuch requires accommodation! Because no two people are alike! Assuming that accommodation is a negative thing demonstrates no understanding of Chinuch. When I learned education classes in seminary years ago, we were clearly taught that it is the teacher’s responsibility to teach (yes, make accommodations!) every student. In case some parents are concerned that their son is in a yeshiva making accommodations for other bochurim, they might get surprised with what is going on with their own kid in Yeshiva, that they may not necessarily know about. Other parents may actually get to hear about your kid, through their… Read more »
Will the Vaad also guide the bochrim to the proper yeshiva?
Perhaps if bochrim apply to the yeshiva that fits his needs there will be a much better chance of acceptance.
Either way a big yasherkoach.
When Shmulli Hecht’s article came out, I wrote a lengthy comment about what happened to us, but I decided not to submit it. I feel this new Vaad should be aware of what goes on behind the scenes and how principals collude with each other to the point they destroy our kids. In our case, the principal of a local school told another principal NOT to accept our son… because we pulled him out due to physical abuse by staff members. The principal confessed to my son just before his wedding that he did so because he wanted us to… Read more »
I was a victim as well. A great big name machaneches (who’s husband is a rosh yeshiva btw), she told the school (that I learnt for a short period of time,) to spread the name that I was a drop out. and when I wanted to move on in life (after realizing that schools lacked basic principles of yiddishkeit like emunah) and go teach, no school would want to take me. Conclusion: Chassedei Hashem I ended up teaching. Moral is: your son moved on in life when the principals wanted to destroy him. Tell him, dont EVER let the realization… Read more »
BH we sent our son to another Yeshiva, he went through the system (shlichus, semicha etc) so he was one who survived. But how many kids have these “educators” destroyed through their despicable, selfish and elitist prejudices?
Our son is married with a beautiful family, he’s successful & a true Chasid…despite the efforts of these two principals to break him and us.
I wish you continued hatzlacha!!
signed My Story
I hear some pretty amazing things about Bais Schneur Zal
yes amazing place care about every bochur