By COLlive reporter
The very sudden passing of Mrs. Rashi Minkowicz, the dynamic Chabad Shlucha in Alpharetta, Georgia, at the age of 37, has sent shockwaves through the Crown Heights and Chabad community worldwide.
Minkowicz was born and bred in Crown Heights to the large chassidic family of 17 children of Rabbi Chaim Meyer and Sarah Lieberman, a member of Lubavitch Youth Organization (“Tzach”) and an educator, respectively.
At Associated Beth Rivkah Schools in Crown Heights, teachers and students cried together, remembering her as either a vibrant student, sister of a classmate, daughter of a teacher and even a teacher herself at one point.
Some were reminded of her namesake and grandmother, Mrs. Rashi Gansburg, who also passed away in her prime at the young age of 37, leaving a grieving husband and 5 orphans.
It was to that tragic passing on the second day of Sukkos in 5730 (1969) that the Rebbe wrote one of his most known Nichum Aveilim, letter of condolence, to Gansburg’s 17-year-old daughter, Sarah Leiberman, mother of Rashi Minkowicz.
We bring you the letter in full in both English and Hebrew:
Greetings and Blessings,
I received, on time, your letter — though the circumstances have delayed my answer — in which you write of the passing of you mother, obm, and your thoughts and feelings in connection to this.
The truth is that “none amongst us knows anything at all” concerning the ways of G-d, Who created humans, directs them, and observes them with a most specific Divine providence. But certainly, certainly, He is the very essence of good, and, as the expression goes, “it is in the nature of the good to do good.” If, at times, what G-d does is at all not understood by the human mind — little wonder: What significance has a limited, measured, finite creature in relation to the infinite and endless, and especially in relation to the “the absolutely Infinite and Endless” (B’li G’vul V’Ein Sof Ha’amiti)?
Nevertheless, G-d chose to reveal a fraction of His wisdom to man, to flesh and blood. This He did with His holy Torah, called “The Torah of Light” and “The Torah of Life” — that is to say, it illuminates man’s path in life in such a manner that even his limited faculties may comprehend its light. Thus, also in the case of the above-mentioned occurrence, and the similar,
one can find an understanding — at least a partial one — in accordance with what is explained in our (written and oral) Torah.
Actually, this understanding is to be found in two rulings of Torah Law which address our actual conduct in these circumstances. At first glance, they seem to stand in contradiction one to the other, though they appear in the same section of the Code of Jewish Law. The section (Yoreh Deah 394) begins: “One must not mourn excessively (beyond what our sages have instructed us); one who does so in extreme…” Yet, at the section’s end it is brought that “one who does not mourn as the sages have guided us is a callous and cruel person.” Now, if in such a case it is natural to mourn, what’s so terrible about one who mourns more? Why the harsh rebuke mentioned in the law? And if to mourn excessively is so terrible, why is it cruel to mourn less?
The explanation lies in the concluding words of our sages (as quoted from Maimonides): “One should fear and worry, search one’s deeds and repent.”
It is self-understood that the soul is eternal. Obviously, an illness of the flesh or blood cannot terminate or diminish the life of the soul — it can only damage the flesh and the blood themselves and the bond between
them and the soul. That is to say, it can bring to the cessation of this bond — death, G-d forbid — and with the severing of what binds the soul to the flesh, the soul ascends and frees herself of the shackles of the
body, of its limitations and restrictions. Through the good deeds she has performed during the period she was upon earth and within the body, she is elevated to a higher, much higher, level than her status prior to her descent into the body. As the our sages expressed it: The descent of the soul is a descent for the sake of an ascent, an ascent above and beyond her prior state.
From this it is understood that anyone close to this soul, anyone to whom she was dear, must appreciate that the soul has ascended, higher, even, than the level she was at previously; it is only that in our lives, in our world, it is a loss. And just as the closer one is to the soul, all the more precious to them is the soul’s elevation, so it is with the second aspect — the intensity of the pain. For they, all the more so, feel the loss of her departure from the body and from life in this world.
Also, it is a loss in the sense that — it seems — the soul could have ascended even higher by remaining in this world, as our sages taught in the Ethics of our Fathers: “One moment of repentance and good deeds in this world is preferable to the entire world to come.”
Thus, since the occurrence contains these two conflicting facets — on the one hand, the freeing of the soul of the body’s shackles and her ascent to a higher world, the world of truth; on the other, the above-mentioned loss — the result is the two rulings. The “Torah of Truth” mandates that one mourn, for the time-period set by our sages. At the same time, it is forbidden to mourn excessively (that is, beyond the set mourning period, and also in regards to the intensity of the mourning within these days).
As said, the primary cause for mourning such an occurrence is the loss on the part of the living. This is the object of the mourning period: The living need to understand why it is that they deserved this loss. This is why “One should fear and worry, search one’s deeds and repent.”
Through this another thing is attained — the bond between the living and the soul who has ascended endures. For the soul is enduring and eternal, and sees and observes what is taking place with those connected with her and close to her. Every good deed they do causes her spiritual pleasure, specifically, the accomplishments of those she has educated and raised with the education that bring the said good deeds; that is to say, she has a part in those deeds resulting of the education she provided her children and the ones she influenced.
Since all of the above constitute directives of our Torah, the wisdom and will of G-d, the fulfillment of these directives is part and parcel of our service of G-d of which it is said “Serve G-d with joy.” A directive of Torah also serves as the source of strength which provides the abilities to carry it out. Consequently, since the Torah addresses these instructions to each and every individual, it is within the capacity of each individual to carry it out — and more so, to carry it out in a manner of “Serve G-d with joy.”
All this applies to the entire family, but even more so, and with yet a greater supply of fortitude — as well as a greater degree of responsibility — in regard to those who are in a position to affect the other family members who will emulate their example. Therefore, the responsibility to implement all of the above falls first and foremost upon the head of the family and the senior child, in this case I am referring to you and your father. The guarantee “You have toiled, you have found” applies here as well.
In all the above also lies the answer to your question as to how you can lighten the load, etc. — through a behavior consistent with the above verse, with a strong faith in G-d that you will succeed in this endeavor.
May it be the will of G-d that you have good tidings concerning all the above, open and revealed good.
With blessings for success in all your endeavors and good tidings,
[Signature: M. Schneersohn]
* * *
ב”ה, י”ד טבת, ה’תש”ל
ברוקלין, נ.י.
מרת שרה תחי’ גנזבורג
ברכה ושלום!
בעתו קבלתי מכתבה, ומפני סיבות נתעכב המענה עד עתה, בו כותבת אודות פטירת אמה ע”ה, תבדל היא וכל הילדים ואבי’ שיחיו לחיים טובים ארוכים, וההרגשים והמחשבות בקשר עם זה.
והנה באמת אין אתנו יודע עד מה הנהגת השם יתברך ויתעלה, אשר הוא בורא האדם ומנהיגו ומשגיח עליו בהשגחה פרטית. אבל בודאי ובודאי אשר הוא עצם הטוב, ובסגנון הידוע – מטבע הטוב להיטיב, ומה שלפעמים הנהגות השי”ת אינן מובנות כלל וכלל בשכל האדם, הרי אין זה פלא כלל, כי מה ערך ליצור מוגבל ומדוד וסופי לגבי בלי-גבול וסוף בכלל ולבלי-גבול ולאין-סוף האמיתי במיוחד, בכל זה הרי רצה השי”ת וגילה מקצת מחכמתו לבני אדם בשר ודם – בתורתו הקדושה הנקראת תורה אור ותורת חיים, זאת אומרת אשר היא המאירה דרך האדם בחייו באופן שיהי’ אור מושג גם לפי ערך כוחות המוגבלים של האדם. ועל פי המבואר בתורתנו שבכתב ושבעל פה, יש למצוא ביאור והבנה – קצת, עכ”פ – גם במאורע הנ”ל וכיוצא בו.
והביאור הוא בעצם שני פסקי-דינים בהלכה למעשה, אשר לכאורה בסתירה עומדים זה לזה, ולא עוד אלא ששניהם באו באותו הסימן בשולחן ערוך (יו”ד סשצ”ד). בהתחלתו: אין מתקשין (בעניני אבלות וכו’) יותר מדאי (כפי הוראת חכמינו ז”ל) וכל המתקשה כו’ עי”ש. ובסוף סימן זה מובא: כל מי שאינו מתאבל כמו שציוו חכמים הרי זה אכזרי. והנה, ממה נפשך, באם במאורע מסוג זה טבעי להתאבל, מהו הרעש על המרבה להתאבל, ועד כדי כך שעונשו חמור על זה, כמבואר בשו”ע שם. ואם ענשו חמור עד כדי כך, הרי לכאורה אין זו אכזריות אם האבלות פחותה ממה שציוו חכמים.
וההסברה בזה – בסיום הסימן המבאר ענין האבלות, ובלשון השו”ע הועתק מהרמב”ם: “יפחד וידאג ויפשפש במעשיו ויחזור בתשובה”.
מובן וגם פשוט שהנשמה נצחית היא, שהרי אין כל סברא לומר שבשביל חולי הבשר והדם וכו’ יוגרע חיות הנפש או שתתבטל חיות הנפש והנשמה. ואין קלקול זה נוגע אלא רק להבשר ודם עצמם ולהקשר שביניהם לבין הנפש והנשמה. זאת אומרת, שיכול לבוא הפסק הקשר – מיתה, ר”ל – ובהפסק הקשר של הנפש עם הבשר הרי עולה הנפש ומשתחררת מכבלי הגוף והמדידה וההגבלה שלו, ועל ידי המעשים טובים שעשתה במשך היותה בגוף עלי אדמות נתעלית למצב נעלה, נעלה עוד יותר מאשר היתה לפני ירידתה בגוף, ובלשון הידוע, שירידת הנפש (בתוך הגוף) היא ירידה צורך עלי’, עלי’ למעלה מכפי שהיתה קודם הירידה.
מזה מובן שכל הקרוב לנפש זו וכל מי שהיתה יקרה לו צריך להכיר אשר הנפש עלתה למעלה אפילו ממדרגתה שהיתה לפני זה, אלא שבשביל החיים בעולמנו זה הרי זו אבידה. וכמו שכל הקרוב קרוב יותר, יותר יקר בעיניו עליית הנפש מדרגה לדרגה, הרי גם בפרט השני – גדול הכאב, כיון שגדול החסרון על ידי היפרדה מהגוף ומהחיים בעולם הזה.
ונוסף לזה גם כן, שלכאורה יכולה היתה הנפש לעלות למעלה עוד יותר דוקא בעולם הזה, וכלשון חכמינו ז”ל במשנתם יפה שעה אחת בתשובה ומעשים טובים בעולם הזה מכל חיי העולם הבא.
כיון שבמאורע כהאמור ישנם שני צדדים הפכיים האמורים – שחרור הנפש מכבלי הגוף ועליתה לעולם נעלה, עולם האמת, ולאידך גם גרעון וחסרון האמורים, מזה התוצאות בשני פסקי-דינים האמורים: שמשך זמן הקצוב על ידי חכמינו ז”ל על פי תורת אמת צריכה להיות אבלות, וביחד עם זה אסור להתקשות יותר מדאי (להוסיף על הימים ובימים אלו עצמם – בתוכן האבלות). ולא עוד אלא שתוכן האבלות הוא – שזקוק החי להסברה למה מגיע לו החסרון והגרעון, שזהו עיקר הטעם שמאורע כהאמור הוא מסוג שמתאבלים עליו – שלכן יפחד וידאג ויפשפש במעשיו ויחזור בתשובה.
ונתוסף עוד על ידי זה – שאז הרי מתקיים קשר בין החיים בעלמא דין עם הנשמה שעלתה למעלה, שהרי קיימת ונצחיית היא ורואה ומתבוננת בהנעשה עם הקשורים והקרובים אלי’, וכל מעשה טוב הנעשה על ידם מוסיף לה נחת רוח, ובפרט הנעשה על ידי אלה שחינכה וגידלה אותם חינוך המביא לידי מעשים טובים האמורים, זאת אומרת שחלק לה במעשים אלה הנעשים על ידי החינוך שנתנה לילידי’ ומושפעי’.
כיון שכל האמור הם הוראות תורתנו, שהיא חכמתו ורצונו של הקב”ה, הרי קיום הוראות אלו עבודת ה’ היא, עלי’ נאמר עבדו את הוי’ בשמחה. וכיון שהתורה ציוותה את כל אחד ואחת על זה, אשר ציווי התורה גם נתינת כח הוא, בודאי ובודאי יש בכח כל אחד ואחת לקיים זה, ולא עוד אלא ככתוב האמור, עבדו את ה’ בשמחה.
כל האמור הרי הוא בנוגע לכל אחד ואחת מבני המשפחה, ובמידה יתירה ובנתינת כח גדול יותר וגם באחריות גדולה יותר הוא בנוגע לאלה שהם יכולים להשפיע על שאר בני המשפחה, שמהם ומהנהגתם יראו וכן יעשו ויתנהגו. שלכן לכל לראש ההכרח לקיים את האמור לעיל במילואו הוא על ראש המשפחה ועל הגדול שבילדים, כוונתי במקרה זה אלי’ ולאבי’ שיחי’. וגם בזה הרי ההבטחה – יגעת ומצאת.
בהאמור ג”כ מענה על שאלתה במה תוכל להקל וכו’. והמענה מובן מהאמור – על ידי הנהגה מתאימה לתוכן הכתוב לעיל, ומתוך בטחון חזק בה’ שתצליח בזה.
ויהי רצון שתבשר טוב בכל האמור, בטוב הנראה והנגלה.
בברכה להצלחה בכל עניני’ ולבשו”ט,
מ. שניאורסאהן
* * *
To help keep Rashi Minkowicz’s legacy alive and donate in her memory, click here
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+ My Father’s Tragic Dance
+ Shaindy Lieberman, 59, OBM
+ Rabbi Shaya Gansbourg, 57, OBM
The bereaved husband and children will bear their mourning in the essence of the love and devotion of their departed wife and mother. May they be comforted by their precious memories!
I cannot help but think of Sarah Lieberman who lost her beloved grandmother (also Rashi) at age 37 and all these years later now has to bury her daughter Rashi at the same age. How does one person go through such a tragedy. I trust that the community together with her wonderful family and with the help of G-d will give her the strength.
My heart goes out to Rabbi Hirshy and those wonderful children as well.
I see your point but still it seems COL translation is correct. Should the Rebbe have wanted to say “happened” he would have written ארע or קרה Magia literally means “comes” and IS used as a term in hebrew and ivrit to mean “deserving”. In Yiddish as well, the word קומט which is “comes” means “deserving”. Its very possible that that was the Rebbe’s intention. As in that context, the rebbe says that the purpose of mourning is for a person to understand why he was deserving of the loss, and by doing so, will check his own deeds and… Read more »
Moshiach now!!!!!!!!!!!
Moshiach now!!!!!!!!!!!
Moshiach now!!!!!!!!!!!
Moshiach now!!!!!!!!!!!
Moshiach now!!!!!!!!!!!
Moshiach now!!!!!!!!!!!
V’hachai yiten el libo – the more we face our unfortunate mortality, the more we connect and focus on behavior which is immortal; neshomo behavior – Moshiach behavior. with this we will bring down and have the revelation of the Rebbe, Melech Hamoshiach very soon- immediately. We’ll get rid of the malach hamoves – uvola hamoves lonetzach, umocho havaye dimoh me’al kol ponim; and we will finally march to the geula with great joy -NOW! NOW! NOW! Please Hashem make it happen this very moment!
Agree with #13 regarding #10 –
This is so sad – although some things in the English translation doesn’t seem correct… AM!! – sydney australia
Let each of us take on a Hachloto toiva now and send to the ohel as was suggested.
The original Hebrew letter is posted above. What do you mean it was in English?
Notice that the letter was written in Teves even though she passed away in Tishrei, maybe the Rebbe waited on purpose.
I have not been able to stop thinking about the fact that her grandmother and namesake also passed away at 37. You can’t help but wonder what went on in shamayim.
Thank you for posting this meaningful letter of comfort.
Please don’t allow anything or anyone (including Rabonim, Vaad, etc…) to stand between you and God.
Please do not allow anyone or anything to taint or contaminate your personal relationship with God.
I wish you the best of luck.
Let the Rabbonim show an example for once!
Everyone forgets all the good intentions we decide to accept on ourselves, until the next time. Unfortunately, the next time keeps happening every week, even more than once a week. Hashem likes when we have ahavas yisroel and care for each other. Perhaps, if each and every one of us resolves to stop fighting each other (either talking negatively about others, spreading slander or just being the cause of negative things to happen to others as a result of something we said or did), then this “magefah of dying” would cease. If we judge others favorably and act kindly to… Read more »
you must not know hebrew
Lucky were those who knew the Rebbe then!
To # 10. Be a leader
I believe that the translation of “why it is that they deserved this loss” is extremely misleading. In Hebrew the Rebbe wrote “lama mag’ia lo”,, which literally translates as “reached him”, in this context perhaps the word “happened” to him is better.
To show support for the family at this time how about we all become become a partner in the work of the Minkowicz chabad house And give tzedkah in the merit of Rasha bad Reb Chaim meir http://www.chabadnf.org/donate
what do u want your ‘list of people’ to tell you? they are in shock just like the rest of us! we all know what they would or will say. We know it all, we’ve heard it all. They won’t tell us anything new.
ONLY THE AIBESHTER CAN HEAL OUR PAIN COMPLETELY!!!!!!!!!!
AD MOSAI
The letter in the original was written in English
I thank u guys are posting this too soon. Let the family mourn first. The rebbe didn’t write this so fast
we all need to take upon our selves to make this world more and more g-dly.. with acts of goodness and kindness… may we merit to dance with all our loved ones and complete ahavas yisroel to geula shleima, with the Rebbe M’hm at our forefront
my feelings my thoughts my emotions, are above and beyond any words can grasp, to put down on paper all of it, at this time is impossible, I fear each day now too open the web, fear of what is next and who is next, a simple heart cant bear anymore of this, I am hurt depressed and fearful of all this, including what tomorrow may be, In addition, I am angry at the Rabbonim, the Vaad, the Community leaders at their silence, where are the leaders to come out and say something, the Vaad Hakohol, the Vaad harabonim, the… Read more »
When is this going to end, we need good in a revealed sense.
This is just too painful… I can’t even start imagining what the family is going through….
Thank you COL for posting.
There are no words to express the shock and pain.
The Rebbe’s letter is a source of consolation for all.
Thank you for posting. This does not suffice, but at least it can help give some sort of comfort for all of us around the world mourning…
AD MOSAI!!! THIS MUST BE IT, WE NEED MOSHIACH NOW!!