By Sara Blau – Forward.com
A few months ago I was featured in a photo essay in the New York Times. Now, I had my hesitations, because I was afraid of my words being misinterpreted or manipulated to say something I don’t mean. I breathed a sigh of relief when I actually saw the article, because overall the tone was positive.
But it still left much to be desired. It’s true they didn’t misconstrue any of my words. But what they did do was carefully create a narrow box to fit me into and edit the piece to ensure that I would fit into it. Something along the lines of “Hasidic woman, works in a school and writes kids’ books.” If that’s all true — what could be wrong?
Here’s what they got wrong.
First came the title, “A Glimpse Inside the Hidden World of Hasidic Women.”
Huh? Seriously? As my friend — and professional cellist — Laura Melnicoff commented on my Facebook post when she saw the title: “Are we rare delicate birds that only a few people get to view?” Do we live hidden under a rock, and only a spy with an attache case and full disguise can be given the “rare” opportunity to meet us?
I am far from hidden. I teach, write and speak publicly regularly. I’ve flown across the country and spoken to audiences of men and women on all topics of Jewish life. My nursing baby is a frequent flyer — he has already joined me on trips to Florida, California, Chicago, and Las Vegas.
Just last summer, I spoke at the Jewish Learning Institute retreat in Rhode Island to a packed audience of Jews, of all religious backgrounds. I have opened my home to secular teens interested in Judaism, as well as groups of adults coming to my neighborhood for the first time.
Chabad women worldwide host meals for campus students, congregants, and sometimes total strangers. We are in constant interaction with the wider world. And yet, I’m “hidden”?
And then I saw the picture they chose. The photographer spent hours in my home, photographing my precious children and my artwork. I gave my full permission to publish a number of photos that I felt encapsulated my passion for my family and my love of art.
Yet the editor chose a photo that did not even have my face in it. To be honest, I was mortified. I felt ashamed. I get it, the photo they chose had layers, it was artsy, sure. But the implication? That Chabad women do not show their faces. You do not hear their voices. There goes that narrow box again.
There’s more. In that very same photo, there are a number of paintings on the wall — yet no mention of the fact that those paintings were my own. Instead, the caption merely states: “Sara Blau in her house in Crown Heights.”
Maybe there wasn’t enough room to mention that I direct a camp of 400 campers. Or that my job as “special projects manager” includes running weekends and conventions for 800 high students from around the world, or running a production of song, dance, and drama, for hundreds of high school students.
They found room for a short description of me, but the choice of words seemed to deliberately paint a flat, dreary, figure.
Here is the message that didn’t come across: My Hasidic lifestyle is colorful! Chabad women are multidimensional! They are powerhouses.
This weekend, approximately 2,500 Chabad women will gather at a conference in New York. They are far from hidden: They are co-directors of preschools and Chabad houses. They run programs and mentor hundreds of people. I have a sister in Florida and a sister in Arizona and sisters in law in Montreal, Toronto, and California, and even an aunt in Hong Kong … all teaching classes and engaged in meaningful outreach work, while at the same time raising families.
Chabad women are far from the shtetl-like portrayal of the New York Times. Chabad women are leaders. Modest in dress, conservative in approach? Yes. But Chabad women are raised with the knowledge that they are the foundation of the home. We women don’t live under a rock — we are the rock.
Simply give me the platform – and you’ll hear my voice. I guarantee you that I won’t come with my face covered.
–Sara Blau is a mother of four beautiful children and the Extra-Curricular Director in Beth Rivkah High School in Crown Heights. She is an author of 20 children’s books and a popular blogger on thejewishwoman.org. She lives in Crown Heights but is often traveling to lecture and run art demonstrations to varied audiences
One of the first things Moshiach will do, says the RaMbaM, is to repair the breaches in Israel. Meaning, those things in Torah that have become weak, he will strengthen. A good example of this is the mixing of men and women which has become so weak, and which the Rebbe strengthened. By hasgocho profile, I just opened Igros where the Rebbe was talking about keeping men and women separate for shiurim. A mechitza is believed. Really, they should have separate shiurim/talks.
May you continue to be an inspiration to us all and have all the brachos!
no they werent thats the whole point! theyre talking about chabad women and write “hidden” did you even see the NYT article?
Then it wasn’t written for you. I hope u didn’t miss that it says for the FORWARD . they are literally the most liberal anti religious Jews you can meet. If this gives them a good opinion of frum yidden then she avvonplished her goal. I guarantee you she didn’t wake up and say “how can I get up and talk about myself to the whole lubavitch”
Chabad Women are Super Women…
& you are a shining example of this!
Thank you!
I think she had good intentions . I would feel the same as her with that pic in NYT . She didn’t want ppl to think that
I think Sara Blau articulated very well the role of a Jewish woman, she just did it in a way that the liberal readers of the forward would be happy to read it. Seems like they fell for it Hook line and sinker- it’s well known that evryoen loves bashing the new York times lol
If your only concern was about her children, you would have spoken with her privately. Your post came out as publicly questioning her priorities, or something similar. Your questions did not sound curious; they sounded critical or at least skeptical (even with thanking her for how her efforts benefit your Beis Rivkah girls). Yes, you could have been more critical than you were, but you were critical, or at least sounded this way in your post. I would speak with you privately, as I advised you to do above, but you did not include your name or any other identifying… Read more »
You have a good point. You are right
I could have predicted this. Don’t you all realize this was written for people who are NOT familiar with us and have preconceived notions ? I think she did a superb job 👍
Things change the closer we get to Moshiach the closer we get to nikevah tisovev never the more we need feminine power and energy. Just like now girls needs an education etc
I remember seeing in a TSHURA the rebbe’s comment on an article.
in the article it speaks about that today in many yeshivos the shiurim are given in english. the rebbe commented that even if its true but why publicize it?
that means: that anything that is done as a BEDIEVED; no other choice etc. does not become chabad policy and should not be printed and publicized.
especially when the matter is in question weather its OK even in a BEDIEVED situation. as you could see from so many comments here that its not so simple.
If you really have an issue reach out privately imho
Anyways I’m another former brhs fan
Rabbi and Mrs Blau are mentors to so many. Like Avraham, Rabbi Blau is mechanech his CT boys with an abundance of love and they respect him SO much. Like Sarah, Mrs Blau is mechanech our girls. May we all learn from this amazing couple and my they have overflowing nachas from their biological family and their spiritual family ( *ie: our kids)..
A very grateful MOM
The Rebbe told Mrs. Fogelman to speak before women, not men. Here is the story as told by Mrs. Fogelman herself: I was once asked by a Reform group of women to speak about the 1967 bestseller The Chosen by Chaim Potok. Three days before my scheduled lecture, I was in New York and had a yechidus. I asked the Rebbe whether I should speak in the Reform temple (in general, I would ask for a bracha before every speech I gave). The Rebbe said: Yes, they will listen to you. Speak about Family Purity, b’hatzlacha. I left that yechidus… Read more »
She taught me ovet ten years ago in bnos Menachem. She taught Sichos with such passion i Still remember loving chassidus because of her.
She won the MLC contest no one had an issue with it then
I always hear her talk about her mashpia. Before she went to speak ” I need to ask my mashpia” and she goes for short story time possible not to miss her kids. They are adorable btw they all came on Shabbaton
See Farbrengen Parshas Tazria Tof-Shin-Mem-Alef, see Tehillim with Pirush Tehilos Menachem, Kapitel Mem-Hey p. 23
I’ve seen first hand how her kids are everything to her! I’ve babysit for her
1) many women who teaches mixed crowd s. Is Jli wrong?
2) many women who show their picture !
Why is it suddenly wrong? If wrong for one wrong for all
That means she has hosted my son at her table numerous numerous times. I’m grateful to her
Lots of people tweeting about this. What a Kiddush hashem.
If you want to understand tanya read this
https://www.chabad.org/theJewishWoman/article_cdo/aid/3519332/jewish/Tanya-Bits-A-Little-Dose-of-Wisdom-for-Daily-Living.htm
https://www.chabad.org/theJewishWoman/article_cdo/aid/2431655/jewish/Thoughtstream.htm
I get thejewishwoman.org newsletter in my email each week and I enjoy Sara blaus articles. She wrote a column on the entire Tanya! In English in very relatable language. She also wrote many many articles on the Rebbes message to women.all her articles encouarge the mother’s focus on her children. Being present. Mitzvos of a woman. Check them out yourself just put her name in the search bar
I don’t think Mrs blaus goal in life is to speak to mixed audiences. Certain audiences happen to be mixed. I personally think it got thrown in there almost by accident or because she was writing for the forward
Maybe I would change a few words but look at her point :
1) modest in dress conservative in apprpach
2) women foundation of the home
Seems to me like all the rest was yo get that across
i do not fear for Mrs Blau’s children , ppl like her are just super women ( i don’t know her , i live in london ) and we need women like her in the world ( i’m a stay at home mum ) but i can tell you something , perhaps your kids be if it from ur suppers and kisses but i’m sure they would do better if you improve on your middos . your comment was below the belt especially as you wrote repeatedly that you and your girls benefit from her . i would ask mechilah… Read more »
People context is everything ! Doesn’t look like it was written for “unzere” looks like this was purposely written for the liberal crowd. To make a Kiddush hashem there which I’m sure she did. Also doesn’t seem like the men thing was an ikar if you know what I mean
Also how do u know they didn’t twist her words?
I’m going to be giving a bas mitzvah club meeting for lubavitcher girls on this very topic – feminine influence and the balance between shlichus and tznius. I admire Mrs. Blau and the amazing work she does – however this article does seem to be not in line with the balance of tznius. The sicha of the Rebbe on Leah and the lessons we learn from her on womanly outreach where the Rebbe mentions about women to women and in an aidel way etc I think must be taught and internalised by all our girls and women today. I don’t… Read more »
On the contrary, she once told some amora’im off for speaking to her more than was strictly necessary.
One of the most famous geonim of all times is the Maharshal (1510-1573). in his siefer שו”ת מהרש”ל siman 29 at the bottom, he writes about a great great grandmother of his, the daughter of reb shlomo shapiro, who taught torah to men, WHILE SITTING BEHIND A CURTAIN.
I wonder why she had be behind a curtain? Seems that the issur of a women speaking in front of men is quite clear, and the only way it is muttar is while behind a mechitza.
A few points: The article was NOT written for COLIVE.COM. it was written for Forbes magazine…. and for this audience it made a huge kiddush Hashem…. potentially some of their readers won’t hesitate to hook up with their local shalicha, to explore what Chabad is all about. Mrs Blau was speaking to a group of people invited by the local shaliach. If some men were among the audience, I would assume that it was done right and that the local shaliach knows what he is doing. I’m sure that Mrs Blau’s kids will grow up healthy and proud chassidim, knowing… Read more »
You mean the unbiased, honest, and impartial New York Times lied? Why do I have trouble believing that? That is so uncharacteristic of them to do something like that. They are known to be such pro-religious, pro-Jewish and pro-Israel, this was probably and accident. I am sure that if you point this out to them they will fix it right away.
Y. Uktzan
“A Glimpse Inside the Hidden World of Hasidic Women.”
This is speaking about Hasidic women in general. Majority of Hasidic women are more private, there’s no denying that. Chabad specifically happens to be more out there but they weren’t writing about chabad. They were writing about chassidim.
So many comments on whether she should speak before men. She’s not singing for crying out loud.
Many years ago Mrs. Fogelman- Worcester, Mass. was given instruction by the Rebbe to do a book review of “the Chosen” by Chaim Potok, and to speak there – to a mixed crowd on Taharas Hamishpocho !!!!!
Check this out with Mrs. Fogelman herself !!!
It was also written up.
Cirel Lipskier
I am a shlucha and direct many programs, but this article made me uncomfortable. It is not admirable to be giving speeches to mixed audiences…kol kevuda bas melech penima. There are sometimes where we need to talk to a mixed audience but it isn’t something to be boasting about. I can’t help but feel some of the attitudes from the world have seeped in
Thank you for the sources!
A good conversation for each woman to have with her Rav and mashpia as how to apply these to her life.
Curious if there were any women that were given directives or ok to speak in public and have their picture published publicly?
The Sefer Hashluchim has colored photos of families, is context a factor?
Again, it’s So important for each person to have a Rov to ask, to guide, to discuss, as the answer for one person or situation can differ from one to another.
the rebbe aloud this only in russia
Thank you Mrs Blau for all you do!
Who says all the ultra orthodox newspapers are right? They’re entitled to create their own standards, that does not turn it into halacha.
i mistakenly wrote “toras hashlichus” and it should read “shlichus kehilchoso” (an amazing book that reading it may give many of the commentators here a different perspective of the Rebbe’s opinions on many matters). I should add: 1) shulchan menachem vol. 6 page 68-69 the rebbe writes clearly that a women’s mane job is to be “home” and the shlichus that she should be involved in is davke one’s that need specifically wpmen (such as teaching which requires warmth etc). 2) in ibid page 69 the Rebbe writes that although he doesn’t feel he can stop it, but he is… Read more »
to number 26. here are the sources: the source of reb moshe’s teshuva about women giving a shiur where men are present – אגרות משה אורח חיים חלק ה סימן יב poskim who forbid it totally – שו”ת שבט הלוי חלק ג סימן יד [add to that שו”ת להורות נתן that was quoted in sruli schochat’s recent op-ed. and there are many more sources for this, don’t have the time this minute to look them up, but i think those 2 suffice.] source for the rebbe writing that in extreme cases (the rebbe is very clear that this is a… Read more »
Mrs Blau, I truly am in awe of everything that you have and continue to accomplish – you seem to be one of those people who have endless amounts of hours in your days. Im sure you understand that putting yourself out there, in the way in which you CHOSE to do, will bring along some critique. I just wonder, how you manage to make time for your children and family – it seems like you are focusing so much on outreach and our girls (which im thankful for), but what about your dear children? Who is making and serving… Read more »
Powerful!!!!
Sources?
Based on #24, you are out to lunch.
A fellow Shlucha who did NOT grow up exactly as you wrote.
Reb moshe CLEARLY writes that it’s only allowed if it באקראי (not something that happens routinely). and if the woman is SITTING, and if it is not in a shul. And to add, MANY poskim disagree with reb moshe, and do not allow a women to ever public in front of men ever. Reb Moshe also is matir “cholov stam” and yet lubavitcher chasidim do not really on “heteirim” like that. Reb Moshe also allows a shiur where there is mixed seating, however the Rebbe disagrees and writes that even in extreme cases, one can only be matir a shiur… Read more »
Their motives and incentives were wrong. But the final outcome, the way in which the depicted you, was, in my opinion, certainly right. One example, presenting a picture (or the lack thereof): All ultra-Orthodox newspapers, including Hamodia, Jewish Tribune, do not print pictures of women. Chabad is ultra-Orthodox. “The beauty of a princess is within” (Psalms 45:14). [To be clear: The writer of this comment is humbled by the work that the author, as well as many others, has produced. Today, there is a need for women’s active roll. Yet, it is due to that need that permission (to one… Read more »
Seems like lots of responses are not written by Lubavitures. While primarily the women give classes to women and the husbands to men its not a rule. Community shabbos meal my husband and myself give a Dvar Torahs. At our Chabad Dinner i the Rebbetzin also speaks thanking our community. There is not a direct haroah from the Rebbe on this. The Rebbe sent out Families on shlichus. Husband and wife as a partnership. My children- sons and daughters are equally involved. Lubavitch never hid the women. its not a new modern faze we are going through…as children our mothers… Read more »
Taught Torah to men
There is a printed responsa from Rabbi Moshe Feinstein un which he generally prohibits public speaking to men by a woman, yet allows it in specific circumstances (which MAY apply to kiruv events) AND if the podium obstructs the woman speaker’s body…(Rabbi Feinstein OBM was/is considered the leading possek/decider of halachic issues in America by practically all Jews that respect halacha).
When it comes to Headlines of course the news outlet is always looking for a catchy line. The word Hidden will double their click through so naturally they’ll want to put something like that in. One thing that’s interesting with the News is that they are very interested in the ‘Hidden’ world of chassidim but they but they don’t get the difference between the more hidden groups and lubavitch. Chabad is very open to be interviewed by the media. That is not always the case for other groups. So when they finally get an interview with a chassidic women they… Read more »
When I read this it reminded me of my experiences many years ago in Crown Heights. My husband and I were approached by the Chabad office that a woman writer for the the New Yorker magazine want to write about Chassidic life. She arrived in 1979 and her articles which did appear as a 3 part series were then published as a book, entitled “Holy Days, The World of a Chasidic Family”. I was quite nervous because we were not allowed to see any of this before it was published. It did come across as quite positive. The Rebbe was… Read more »
Great article well argued
But pls remember didn’t we just have a debate if it’s allowed for women to speak before men
Sometimes hidden is acceptable
It’s the Purim story
Nice writing skills, impressive person Mrs. Blau is and well deserved critique of the NYT. But is this what Chabad woman stand for? Talking in front of men? Having they’re picture published in the paper? Isn’t their primary job staying at home and raising their children and also being Mekarev women and girls? Is this the new Chabad Bais Rivka is teaching?
Any frum Yid who gives an interview with them should know by now that they will miserable, biased skew to it.
but… honestly, the “ruach’ of this article does not seem to be inline with “ruach yisroel sabo”. seems like we are drifting away from that
Close to six thousand strong are attending the intl shluchos conference!
Not that many years ago this ‘open’ though now considered modest behaviour would have been considered brazen.
Not sure you’re painting a realistic picture here. Seems a bit over the top. I’m glad you seem satisfied in your extremely fast paced life but most shluchim don’t live like this.
Rebetzin Blauu excellent article. NY times is an anti semitic rag filled with self hating Jews. They hate themselves because they were taught by liberal poisoned minds that being religious is horrible that being progressive is the ultimate, while forgoing on Kashrus, shabbos etc.Yet, when they spot someone like you who is religious, accomplished etc., it goes in their face and they see the empty life they chose. Yes they interviewed you but they had a different agenda; perhaps not the reporter but definitely his editor. You are right Lubavitch women are powerhouses, the same as all the woman in… Read more »
What is your point?
The forward is a very liberal news site. It’s a huge Kiddush hashem
Did you ask the same question to Rebbitzen Yungereis a”h or the like?
but I personally feel that it is completely not necessary for one to have their picture posted, for me to be not ” hidden”-
and a certain type of “hidden” is actually what we’re all about…
Either way, you definitely are a power house and you do so much for so many people-much hatzlacha and thank you
I personally know Mrs blau she is very modest
The article misqutes
To clarify “No!” this is not chabad policy and NO there is no such approval or directive from the rebbe
The rebbe instructed again and again that women should reach out and be active with women and men with men …
JLI is mixed
Your fantastic !!! Rising international star in lubavitch
Fantastic well written article, thank you for doing this!
LA Shliach
“I’ve flown across the country and spoken to audiences of men and women”
is this chabad policy? did the rebbe personally okay this?
im not arguing, just wondering.
if yes, was any responsa wrriten on the topic?