By Rabbi Mendy Katz, Aleph’s director of military and prison outreach
The time has come for Lubavitchers to start doing Mivtzoim with our own. The focus of Mivtzoim has always been with non-religious Jews living outside of our communities. Times have changed and we now have to focus on our own communities as well.
First and foremost, we must put in more time, effort and much more Love and Attention towards those from our own communities who are no longer frum. We all know who they are but we chose to focus our outreach efforts towards strangers instead of our very own. Instead of just going down the block to ask our own neighbor (who we know is no longer frum) to put on Tefillin, we take a train to Manhattan to try to find a lost Jew. Of course, we have to keep on doing Mivtzoim with strangers but let’s focus on our own as well.
Most of the people who grew up frum, still have a love for Yiddishkeit and they are waiting for you to come and ask them to put on Tefillin. They would be so touched if you invited them to a Shabbos meal. Why do we ignore the spiritual needs of the Jews right under our nose to go and stop random people on the street to ask them if they are Jewish?
I grew up with Mivtzah Tefillin in my blood. My earliest childhood memories are going on Mivtzoim with my father on Lincoln Road in Miami. My father never left home without his Tefilin and never took no for an answer. Most times, he never even asked the person if he wanted to put on Tefillin. As soon as he knew the man Jewish, the Tefillin were already on his head. Plains, trains, buses, it did not matter, the Tefillin were always there for the ready.
I naturally followed in my father’s footsteps and would always take my Tefillin everywhere and always asked everyone to put on Tefillin. As I got older, I began to slack a little and did not always ask people everywhere. For example, I would not always ask people on planes to put on Tefillin.
Around ten years ago, I was at a weekend Bar Mitzvah in Colorado, and most of the people at the Bar Mitzvah were not frum. I spent Friday and Sunday putting on Tefillin with everyone and spent all Shabbos farbrenging with people trying to get them to commit to put on Tefillin more often.
On the way back from the Bar Mitzvah, I missed my flight by 2 minutes. I was stuck in the Denver airport for 12 hours without a morsel of kosher food. As soon as I turned around from the gate, I see a Jew who was at the same Bar Mitzvah all weekend. He was a 40-year-old Persian Jew who attended many bar mitzvahs in his family and community but has never put on Tefillin in his life. He also missed his flight and he put on Tefillin right there at Gate C42 in the Denver airport. It was clear to me that both of us had to miss our flights in order for him to put on Tefillin. I arranged for him to get his own pair of Tefillin and he also had his first Aliya later that week in New York City.
A few days later, on a Shabbos afternoon, my one-year-old daughter found her way out of the front door of a friend’s house and walked into the middle of a very busy street. A car slammed on the brakes and the driver put his car in park and picked up my daughter and saved her life. In appreciation of Hashem’s mercy, I decided to never leave home without my Tefillin and would always ask people to put on Tefillin whenever, whoever and however.
Recently, I started noticing that many of the people that I would assume put on Tefillin daily, actually do not.
First, I thought it was a fluke and it’s just people that are not really so frum even though they wear a yarmulke. Then I realized that there are those who are really frum but just forgot to put on Tefillin once or twice and it became normal for them to just forget to put on Tefillin. This has become a problem in the entire frum world, from the modern orthodox to Chabad to Satmar.
Over the last few months, I attended many frum weddings and I bring my Tefillin. People would laugh at me and say you are never going to find anyone to put on Tefillin at this wedding. At each one of these events, I find more and more people with yarmulkes and from Chassidish and litvish circles that did not put on Tefillin. I can get some 20 men to put on Tefillin at a frum wedding.
Even after this, I would still feel uncomfortable going over to a frum person I knew personally and see regularly to ask them if they had put on Tefillin that day (unless I knew for a fact that they do not always put on).
Last week, I went to a small simcha and brought my Tefillin. There were only Lubavitchers there, so with no one else to ask I turned to a full-fledged-yarmulke-wearing bearded guy. As it turns out, not only did he not put on Tefillin but he turned around to another person there and said you also did not put on Tefillin today. They both put on Tefilllin and have been doing it daily since.
Later that day, I went to another party with only frum people and I went around asking people if they has put on Tefillin. There was Litvish guy who was clearly uncomfortable with my question. On Sunday morning, I got a WhatsApp from an unknown number with a photo of a person wearing Tefillin. It was this guy who tracked down my name and number. In a voice note, he explained how our short conversation got him to realize that he can’t leave the house in the morning without putting on Tefillin. He said he really appreciated the fact that I gave him that wake-up call. Apparently, all it took was one short sincere conversation to get him back on track.
I am sure there are thousands of frum-looking Jewish men who in your neighborhood or on your flight or in the same hotel that are quietly begging you to walk over to them and ask them if they put on Tefilin today. Please do not disappoint them, please do not disappoint their wives, their children, their parents. They are all counting on you –whoever you may be– to be the Shliach to get their son, father, husband to put on Tefillin.
Each and every one of us has friends, relatives, classmates that we know. Take an interest in their life and spiritual wellbeing. Ask how and if they put on Tefillin in the morning. After putting on Tefillin with them, you can encourage them to start prioritizing putting on Tefillin daily before they leave the house.
Boruch Hashem, Lubavitchers have been very successful in doing Mivtzoim with strangers. It is time we become successful in doing Mivtzoim with unzere (our own) as well. In honor of the Rebbe’s 120th birthday, it is time for every Lubavitcher (and especially Shluchim) to always carry Tefillin and offer it to every Jew you meet — including those with yarmulkas, family members, former classmates, and friends.
And if you are one of these frum people who has not been so careful with Tefillin, this is the time to make a hachlata (resolution) to put it on daily. It takes 5 minutes to put on Tefillin. Say the bracha and the full Shema. If you can do more, even better. But nothing should not be an option. Tefillin is your anchor connection to Hashem. Don’t drop your connection.
How refreshing it is to acknowledge the hand we’ve been dealt and learn how to play it properly…. rather than playing the hand we wish we would’ve been dealt!
Lchaim!
Levi Matusaf has been doing this for years at weddings by oholei Torah many times there are shluchim kids getting married and they have people coming from their community coming to the wedding, he goes around and asks them to put on teffilin being that the shluchim are the baal simcha they sometimes forget.
Thank you for bringing this up
That’s lovely too but what the author is referring to is those amongst us, card carrying Chabad members, bearded and hatted, that don’t necessarily put on teffilin daily. It is far more prevalent than many think.
There are unfortunately many among us, but bearded and hatted?
Yes…..bearded and hatted.
Yes, certainly, I know a number of people that would fit that description and do not put tefilin on daily.
B”H I can proudly declare I have never missed a day. In 7th-9th grade there were a handful of times I missed my Tefillin but wore someone else’s, and have only worn my own set since.
Long overdue! Cteen crown heights would be wonderful! When there is only chetzoniyus to focus on and daily life is based on that mindset, where spirituality doesnt mean anything anymore then people will fade away in their pnimiyus!
When I was a teenager I always wished I could have fun programs like the Times Square concert Cteen has for their members.
as a shliach in your area i want you to know i look up to your passion for mivtza tefillin and you are inspiration to me. I have put on tefillin with MANY Jews I would not have otherwise because of your inspiration.
Thank you Cohen!
what a timely reminder to all of us.
May I add that women and girls can carry tealights and a few brochures in their pocketbooks etc
Shlomie Sirota has been doing this! He has many similar encounters with those who wear a Yarmukah and/or have a beard but didn’t put on tefillin. It’s always important to take your tefillin along where everyone may go
Don’t you think it would be more important to ask a frum person if they had lunch today, if they have dinner, are your bills being paid. With out making anyone (a shul or personal project)I think if their was more of a focus on the physical well being of a Frum Yid. It would automatically bring him/ her back on track.?
We worry about our own ruchniyus and yenems gashmiyus no?
Do both!
Doing both goes side by side.
But it all begins here.
This is really amazing!!!
I think in all areas it’s time to reach our own, in any matter just like we do with/for others shilchus.
I’ve been asked by mendy if I put on teffilin. At first I was offended and thought he was closed minded (since I don’t have a beard, but I am fully frum). Now I see where he comes from, good work!
BSD
Excellent article !!!
Unfortunately due to all the lockdowns ppl got accustomed to not davening with a minyan which may contribute to not putting on tefillin every day
You are 100 percent correct . This problem became much worse since Corona
Yes, so perhaps we should double down on the source of the problem not the affect.
The Rebbe never gave us a mivza to ask frum people if they put on tefilin are keeping T’HM etc. we learn from the Rebbe that when one is struggling like now during the pandemic, you help BEGASHMIYUS.
Both go side by side.
Not once did the Rebbe differentiate in any campaign between those who are already frum and those who are not.
In-reach is long overdue in our community. About time and sad it’s taken this long for some to wake up.
Big respect to Aliya for being a pioneer in this concept!
If we treated our own with the same warmth that shluchim treat their mikuravim, they wouldn’t be going OTD in the first place.
its enough to always blame everyone, even the parents that didnt do such a good job. the aibishter is keeping us in this galus, he needs to redeem us asap
But since Hashem didnt redeem us yet and only he knows when it’ll happen and apparently we are not deserving yet, then people/ parents etc…. are to blame. Because if people did their role right we would not be in galus now.
Why not be part of the solution?
150% true.
Some guys might be offended if we even “suspect” them of not putting on Tefilin.
One suggestion to be able to pursue what Rabbi Mendy is advocating for without offending those who do in fact put on Tefilin daily, is by asking “Do you know anyone who hasn’t put on tefilin today…?” That makes it much more subtle, and also enables them to be part of the solution (by potentially recommending others – even if they themselves do in fact put on Tefilin).
Just a thought.
Thank you Rabbi Katz and continued Hatzlacha!
Perhaps expand the perspective a bit, and allow for that if someone didn’t put on tefillin, it’s their business why and not anyone else to judge why not. and but you offer the opportunity to do it now. So there’s no reason for anyone to be ashamed or embarrassed if they didn’t put on tefillin, nor is there a reason to be ashamed or embarrassed to ask anyone else, nor is there a reason to be shamed or embarrassed to be asked.
I recommend the same with Lulav as well. One time on Chol Hamoed I was somewhere in a park with a relative of mine and we noticed that there was a Lubavitcher couple in the distance with a Lulav. At that moment we realized that my relative had forgotten to shake Lulav that day. It was getting late close to sunset, and time was running out. We tried to catch up with them but they disappeared. I suppose they didn’t come over to me because I look religious.
Yessssss
Would love to see funds and energy directed towards our own with the same vitality as shlichus work.
Our kids don’t deserve less and unfortunately it does show
Mendy Katz is amazing!
And this is a huge problem. Yet he finds a way to bring people back with warmth, love and a smile. A beautifully written, positive article.
Hope this can become the new trend.
Keep it up!
A Miami friend
Coby lang has put on tifillin on THOUSANDS of yidden and many of them are “unsereh”
We goes into the shops on Kingston, 13th avenue etc they wait for him!
He is warm to all!
No one feels judged or embarrassed, they feel that they matter!
Coby is a rock star . People are always open to sincerity. דברים היוצאים מן הלב נכנסים אל הלב
“The time has come for Lubavitchers to start doing Mivtzoim with our own. The focus of Mivtzoim has always been with non-religious Jews living outside of our communities. Times have changed and we now have to focus on our own communities as well.”
Wow, I couldn’t have said this better myself. Yes yes yes!
Mendy , Kol hakovod for doing what you posted but unfortunately this is just the tip of the ice burg we need shluchim in evrey major city with frum people doing Inreach I can’t understand why we who they rebbe trained to be mekariv every yid aren’t doing more for our own which is so painful there are thousands of kids that aren’t frum today and we have a handful of shluchim who are doing inreach would the rebbe ever be content with this ! it’s beautiful for a shliach to move out to the end of the world for… Read more »
Thank you, Rabbi Katz both your shlichus and You are HOLY !!!
I was in prospect park a few weeks ago with a pair of Tefillin. I saw a Chusid – payos and all – with his wife and kid. I jokingly asked him if he wants to put on Tefillin. I almost fell off my feet when he answered YES and that he hadn’t put on that day. Needless to say I helped them put on Tefillin.
Has to be much more than just tefilin. Many people dropped a lot of things and feel disconnected. They are right here…you don’t need to go to idaho to find and reach out to them
That is why I go nuts when people in CH fight about eruv and angry on those who rely on it and carry. Excuse me, my son does not keep shabbos at all. I should be angry too?
years back we were at an upshernish, just shul ppl. Rabbi asked me if I had tfillin with me and if I could just leave off to the side. About 5 guys, beards and tzitzis, put them on. I was amazed and shocked all at once. you never know…
ask those people who havent put opn tefillin why they lost the geshmack in a mitzva and yull find they never were tought why and how to have a geshmack in a mitzva
teach a love of religion and teach with love not volumes of sichas and blatts og gemora teach love of yiddishkiet
these children see that lubaviych has become a business
It has been bothering me immensely that my father is in the ICU and wants to put on tefillin so badly but the lubavitch rav is always busy looking for secular people to don tefillin on and when I asked him he said he’ll try to come but never did. Now my brothers put on tefillin on my father daily and that’s what keeps him fighting.
Years ago I was hospital-bound and lonely in a new community. My sil who is a shlucha contacted the local shluchim begging them to visit me in the hospital but they never came. Time and time again while dealing with health problems in a new community I was rejected when asking for help, “we can’t help everyone” I was told. My husband grew up on shlichus, this was a very painful period of time in our lives and we became very dissolutioned with the business-like, franchise-style Chabad has become. It’s definitely not like that everywhere but we sure learned our… Read more »
I grew up on Shluchus and tefillin was a basic part of my upbringing. After moving to a specific city in south Florida I was surprised that no one was doing Mivtzoim on the Broadwalk or outside the grocery store. I offered to do this and wanted to do this with my son, but I was told not to since this territory was being saved for a son or son-in-law. Yes, that area is now occupied and growing, but why was there a need to wait all those years for the next generation to take over? Every time I offered… Read more »
Sad to say, but I’ve also noticed that from the “feinsteh un shensteh” houses, people don’t say a brocho before they eat food and they are not teaching their children to do so, either.
Children don’t know what brocho to say on each category of foods or that a brocho needs to be said before they put anything into their mouths.
Parents and teachers please emphasize this to your children and students and teach them. This is basics!