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Wednesday, 4 Sivan, 5780
  |  May 27, 2020

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The Responsibility is Yours

A Chabad teacher responds to the controversial op-ed on COLlive about the high cost of tuition in the frum world. Full Story

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Dorit Giro, 45, OBM

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Thank you
Guest
Thank you

Love it!!! Thank you for a great article

beautiful article
Guest
beautiful article

well said

Thank you
Guest
Thank you

Thank you!! Well written and so true! The premise about the shluchim is especially unsettling. I know! We’re on shlichus and we sent away 3 sons already and we always had to pay full price!

Thank you
Guest
Thank you

Thank you for writing this response. I was VERY disturbed that the original article was posted, and commend you for so clearly explaining a proper approach to these issues.

COL – PLEASE do not publish articles like the original article in the future. They’re damaging to our children, and our community.

on shlichus
Guest
on shlichus

I don’t like a very patronizing tone of this article. Yes we do have a problem qith tuition costs, but it isn’t the school’s fault. if affordable education is such a priority we need to lobbyfull force for school vouchers.

Tuition Issue
Guest
Tuition Issue

There is one small problem with your clam that schools outside Chabad cost min of $10,00 a child. First of all, places where Frum private schools cost that much (and way more …) are where there are much more modern orthodox families that only have 2 or 3 children, and have a lot less other costs ($150 taleism, rebeinu taam and RT for their sons, Kapatos … cholov yisroel, highest schechita etc …) AND … in Boro Park/Williamsburg/Lakewood/Monsey “Cheders” for their children are actually much less. IN Boro Park a cheder yeshiva is 2 or 3 tops … SO –… Read more »

Excellent response
Guest
Excellent response

Couldn’t agree more with every word you said!

wow!!
Guest
wow!!

i totally agree with everything you said!

Right on target
Guest
Right on target

Every word written is correct thank you for voicing your opinion

Great
Guest
Great

Very well written and well balanced article. I agree with you 100%,

Wonderful, thank you!
Guest
Wonderful, thank you!

That first article had me deeply disturbed, it’s good to see that there are still people with their heads on their shoulders!

Parnasha
Guest
Parnasha

You are right about everything, besides the fact that there is a need for a ‘parnasah’ education BEFURE kids grow up and desperately need it.

to 6
Guest
to 6

you did not get the author’s point about other communities
it may be true they have less tuition, but go find out how much they have to lay out when they marry off children, in chabad we have no pressure to fully furnish our children’s homes, buy jewlerry for all the kalla’s sisters etc., as the author says, don’t compare apples to oranges

to 6
Guest
to 6

same people who complain about tuition are buying 150$ outfits for their 5 year olds, so please don’t blame the rabbeinu tam tefillin

Very nice article thank you
Guest
Very nice article thank you
YOUR CHILDREN
Guest
YOUR CHILDREN

This article is very well written. One thing he did not stress enough of….THEY ARE YOUR CHILDREN… i often hear countless complaints about all the local schools… How can schools function properly on such minimal tuitions. I personally send my children to the more “expensive small schools” because I dont believe in paying less for tuition and I want my chidlren educated in a place where there are the financial means to give them a proper education…. many ppl get tuition breaks (almost no one pays full) have nice cars, homes, vacations, bungalows etc etc,,,,, education should always come first……

Excellent Article
Guest
Excellent Article

Finally, a voice of reason. Great article, well presented, inspiring and non-judgmental.
Thank you for being the voice for a silent majority.

Great
Guest
Great

my feelings are whoever wrote this is not struggling by any means.

Borough park
Guest
Borough park

1. I agree with #6 in frum areas tuition is much lower than in CHABAD 2. U state people have a choice as to we’re their tzdakah goes. I have some news for u there are clear halachic priorities stated in shulchan oruch hilchois tzdakah so a frum yid doesn’t really have a choice and one of the top proiorities is Talmud Torah Practical suggestion make shiurim in hilchois tzdakah maybe people wil change their priorities and give more to our yeshivas altough after feeling so abused by high tuition it’s difficult to give money to such moisdois I once… Read more »

Rabbi Spalter
Guest
Rabbi Spalter

I love the story of Rabbi Spalter. the best part of it is that he meant it. What is the bread and butter of nowadays?

Thank You.
Guest
Thank You.

I have been waiting for this response. I was very disturbed by the first article written.

And to #6 please refer to THIS article for the answer to your question. You obviously didn’t read it.

Very patroinizing
Guest
Very patroinizing

Wow must be on some high horse my bill this year is 30k and the administrater and head of the moisdos of the only Chabad school in town tells me to go Steal it!!!!!! I think you might have a few good points but the system is broken and thre is a huge fire ur preaching is not any less than what the schools are doing —–nothing

Finally!!!
Guest
Finally!!!

Someone is talking sense. Very well written.

i think
Guest
i think

i would say that its a fact that some seminarys charge so much that they can support there whole school from kids all the way up to high school. Its a business. So for that i say its y your choice. However when it comes to yeshiva u can’t have a 28 year old on the street. And that’s where the challenge come in. I totally agree that when u look around and see a parent complaining about tuition cost while they are driving a brand new car or a yente talk in the country that cost them 10k not… Read more »

Yossy H
Guest
Yossy H

Both articles have truth’s in them. However people need to remember that money doesn’t come out of thin air sure Hashem preforms miracles but generally runs the world al pi tevah. A small advice would be if the Yeshiva’s would network with each other and buy in bulk run joint fundraising events coordinate lobbying and maybe even create a standard testing system before anyone becomes a Teacher in a local Yeshiva. This all would save some money and create better professional’s.

thank you
Guest
thank you

Well said

to 22
Guest
to 22

I guess you consider the rebbe’s words preaching,
everything in this article is factual or based on rebbe’s words

huh?
Guest
huh?

So we shouldn’t be concerned that we don’t have money for tuition because at least we don’t have to set our kids up 15 plus years down the road when they get married. Seriously?

address the issue
Guest
address the issue

It doesnt seem that the issue brought up in the previous op-ed was addressed. Tuition is rocket high and many many families are struggling despite unwavering bitachon. So what is the solution?

Agree with #25 100%
Guest
Agree with #25 100%
Educate the kids
Guest
Educate the kids

“There is no need to begin career counseling “at the age of 14.” ”

While there is no need for career counseling, there is definitely a need for a financial education, before kids plunge into the real world.

Agree with #12
Guest
Agree with #12

Its just plain dumb, to say that we should wait until people have a problem, to start teaching them.

a very timely article
Guest
a very timely article

Chinuch always was OUR #1 priority & yes, it was a challenge. But we somehow managed it, although now, as we near retirement, we do not have ONE CENT in savings. We have nothing. Having said that, would we have done the same thing & paid the tuition we were requested to pay? ABSOLUTELY. It was money that cannot be counted in terms of the Chassidishe & Yiddishe nachas that we have from every single child. Baruch Hashem, we did it! Everyone got smicha or graduated seminary, they are on Shlichus, working, teaching…it doesn’t matter, we really did “get what… Read more »

To #13
Guest
To #13

” In fact, the tuition at Chabad schools is less than most in the frum world, which are easily over ten thousand dollars a year at the elementary level.”

The author clearly wrote that we have lower tuition (an out right lie) YOU and the author, clearly, dont get the point of the previous article, ‘that our tuition is to high’.

amazingly written!!
Guest
amazingly written!!

thank you!!

truely said amazingly!
Guest
truely said amazingly!

Exactly brought the whole idea of trusting in Hashem and having betachon that Hashems in charge back to me! you know, sometimes we forget and think how can I have such a large family with an average income?! yet this article reminds us all who really is incharge, and who gives us our parnnassh and sustanace. Yet also the article was not trying to put down the original article…only trying to say how we can look at the situation with a different pair of glasses. WE HAVE TO REMEMBER WHO IS IN CHARGE= hashem! although it is true once we… Read more »

Great article
Guest
Great article

So true, eloquently written

to 32
Guest
to 32

people should wait until they finish semicha/seminary and then they can go to a machon parnassa, hashem decides how much parnassa you will have, waiting till after semicha/seminary is not too late!

Timebanx
Guest
Timebanx

Many schools use http://www.timebanx.com to track $50-$150/hr in virtual dollars that parents can earn to offset earned tuition costs. There are 100’s of jobs that help the school. The online program automatically keeps the projects, the earnings, and the balances organized. EX: Family with 4 children => $28,000 We pay $20,000 cash and owe $8,000. We pay the remaining $8,000 in virtual dollars with the online system. About 80-160 hours over 10 months avg. => 12 hours per month/4 hours per week. My kids love when we help out and it really brings the school a great source of $$$.… Read more »

is this new?
Guest
is this new?

Is the tuition crisis a new problem? 20 years ago were tuitions the same costly? I am a young mother and most of my chassidish friends have 3 children and are struggling to the point that they are not sure how to survive with more. Tuition is the best discouragement to birth, the administration of OUR CH SCHOOLS have said this to many parents who can’t pay. This is a nice article but money is money and he does not address the issue of a school system that does not prepare or encourage people to get degrees or pursue higher… Read more »

Thank you for this response
Guest
Thank you for this response

You brought up all the rebuttals I thought of plus many more!

IDEA...
Guest
IDEA...

We should make an organized effort where EVERY family in CH registers their children in public school. Obviously, you won’t be sending them to public school rather the schools and government who are obligated to accept all children will be overwhelmed. They will then have to find a solution and will have pressure to subsidize education for ALL ch residents.

To #38
Guest
To #38

And Hashem decides if your parents are going to have the brains to do the right thing and teach you how to make a parnassa Just by the way learning torah and getting financial education is not a contradiction. The reason being the 80–20 rule, It states that 80% of your results come from 20% of your efforts. If you dont believe it, go look at what ULY learns (english) in 2 hours 4 days a week, and what public schools learn in 8 hours 6 days a week Whether you agree with 80-20 rule (applied to learning) or not,… Read more »

a parent
Guest
a parent

You do not answer the question of what to do when you are asked to pay $40,000 a year for tuition for 8 children. Our salary is only $70,000 a year. And many people earn even less.We are not eligible for FS or medicaid becasue of the high income. We pay $18,000 a yer for health insurance. Do the math. Mortgage, food clothing etc. I do not have an answer but something has to give.

Gut gezogt
Guest
Gut gezogt
To the Author
Guest
To the Author

I read your Op Ed and would like to comment as follows. I agree with you that the writer of the original piece was off base when he got down on Shluchim and Baali Teshuvah. These two groups are in the same boat as old line Annash families and he frankly did a disservice to his greater message by bringing the issue up. In addition the fact that he did not sign his name to the piece detracted from it as well. That said you do not address the underlining issue of how should a family be expected to pay… Read more »

out of ch
Guest
out of ch

tuition in other frum schools are the same as ch, but parents who can and cannot afford come to school with the attitude that they dont want to pay, i dont agree with #6 , people need to set there priorities right, Yes there are many families that cannot afford tuition, but there are families that can afford but dont want to pay,

wow!
Guest
wow!

great article!
did it answer all the concerns? no. but it didn’t ignore the rebbe the way the other article did.
great great article

Parroting Truisms
Guest
Parroting Truisms

This whole article was robotic, there was zero thought or insight put into it. Instead the writer simply took all the truisms that he learned and teaches and regurgitated them out for you to hear. People were reassured to hear everything that has been told to them as 100% valid and they can go back to sleep without having to require any thinking. The reality was the most important thing the first article did was raise questions which is what a person with a heartbeat needs to do. You can talk bitachon and how we’re suppose to survive on bread… Read more »

To number 6
Guest
To number 6

from the articals i read on col this one takes first place. to number six who writes ” places where Frum private schools cost that much (and way more …) are where there are much more modern orthodox families that only have 2 or 3 children, and have a lot less other costs ” your right that the parents there might be able to afford the high tuition and we may not but what are our schools suppose to do? just because we cant afford to pay high tuition so our schools should be charging less??? they got to pay… Read more »

Oh please!
Guest
Oh please!

If the ones running our schools would understand that just because they are in charge doesn’t give them the right to mismanage money at best and at worst, use the Moiseds money as their own personal bank account, they would be able to charge much less for tuition

lets be honest, we all know who are the ones running our schools just look how they live and how their children live. The whole system is corrupt and broken.

altz fain un gut
Guest
altz fain un gut

yes, private schools are expensive. but public schools are not an option for a frum yid. so what is a person meant to do to? how can the working class pay such high tuition?

to number 33 and the author
Guest
to number 33 and the author

Well written groing up as a child that was in that position I agree 100% . Fact is my parents don’t have a fancy car , we don’t have a country home, we struggle to make shabbos every week , to buy new clothes for yomtov, AND WE WERE SENT HOME FROM SCHOOL EVERY YEAR CRYING AND EMBARRASSED BEC. WE DIDN’T HAVE ADMISSION CARDS. The author makes good points in his article but you seem to have no clue what’s really going on! Lots of people have no clue what’s going on! Your article may be written a little differently… Read more »

idea
Guest
idea

Why dont people gather together hire girls or bochurim to teach round your dining room table, there are shluchos doing it all over the world..and the chinuch is great.and you have the maalos that they can play with their regular friends after school.

to everyone
Guest
to everyone

this is why moshiach to the rebbe was so urgent and this is what we must realize were living in a very fake gashmiousdike world money means a lot every body has to make a living including teachers hence tuition is so high people talk “just go raise money” and “make funds” people (in lubavitch mainly chabad light) think things just happen you get off your couch and make these organizations for tuition you find donors and mainly you realize that we need moshiach now which will solve all yours and every body elses problems because ail these op. ed.… Read more »

Thank you
Guest
Thank you

Thank you very much for taking the time to write this article and put it up. You speak for many of us who were shocked when seeing the last article…totally inappropriate if catered for Lubavitchers. A number of people i know were also intending to wright something up in response to it, but it didn’t end up happening in the end. Thanks again. The Rebbe spoke very clearly against family planing, so much that its possible to say that a big factor in מבצע טהרת המשפחה, one of the Rebbe’s main מבצעים had to do with it…through the summer of… Read more »

To 55
Guest
To 55

Why the need for Machlokes and racism? I’m not sure how you tried to bring in the “chabad lite” label but it doesn’t fit and more so, It’s highly offensive. Perhaps if you stop this machlokes in your mind you’ll be doing what you’re talking about, bringing Moshiach.

to #49
Guest
to #49

You took the words right out of my mouth. Thank you!

Anyone who agrees with the author of this op-ed is insane.

CH schools give slots to their own first.
Guest
CH schools give slots to their own first.

I am really fuming about what I have been hearing lately. Is it true that ch schools give the slots to the teacher’s children before others? how is this right? why is my child not as important than a teachers? something has to be done about this!!! no space ? register when I’m pregnant? what on earth???

Thank you to no. 33
Guest
Thank you to no. 33

Your the one who should have written the op-Ed to begin with. You have managed to articulate & pinpoint precisely what is irking the parents here in CH. A Yosher Koach for your comment.

Ma'a'ser
Guest
Ma'a'ser

If all families in CH (maybe even if just the top 10) gave 10% of their income to education in their community, the schools would not have to charge tuition.

35 & 35
Guest
35 & 35

spot on!

One option
Guest
One option

For many, difficult finances and impossible tuition area choice. Yes, a choice! Want a solution? Get out of Crown Heights! Actually, get out of the whole NYC area. There are frum Chassidher communities elsewhere where you will be able to afford a house for less than your cramped apartment, your kids will have backyards to play in and you’ll not need bars on all windows, your cost of living will go down, you’ll not fight with traffic, your income will go further, and you may actually be able to afford tuition.

To # 25
Guest
To # 25

Yossi H, whoever you are, you have some great ideas… i hope someone puts them into practice. This op-ed article was patronising and annoying.

it costs money to move!!!
Guest
it costs money to move!!!

to #63 are you going to keep my job when i move out of ch/? are you going to help me pay the movers? I bet you anything a lot of nyers stay in ny because of the moving costs and I know a nice amount of people who were promised a job out of the state, and when they brought there family down NO JOB— THE BOSS told him i’m sorry it wasn’t for you!!! yes so the risk TO MOVE is QUITE LARGE!!!

Thank you
Guest
Thank you

Thank you for this reinforcing article. It helped me.

number 54
Guest
number 54

Try it and see how much it works. There are shluchos putting in tons of time they don’t have and girls and bochurim who have no clue what they are doing. And you will have to pay a full time salary out of your own pocket. Girls and bochurim are people to, and when the schools hire them they have to pay. You will not get away with paying them like your teenaged babysitter. I personally know shluchos who did this because they valued their children’s chinuch, not because it was cost effective. And they spent much more than they… Read more »

a melamed for the past 51 years
Guest
a melamed for the past 51 years

der kind darf by unz zayn tayara vi dos gelt. the rashag or r, laibel kraimer or any the early shluchim of the prievious rebbe never turned away a child because they couldn ‘t pay tuition. They went out themselves and raised money. pruta uprutra metztaref lechshbon gadol..

to 63
Guest
to 63

ur clueless! out of town living is far more expensive!! 2 cars, taxes, tuition, food to name afew… all for a back yard and no traffic? ( and probably no people too , making it a very lonely life) been there, done it…nyc has alot more to offer at a much lower cost!

former CHer
Guest
former CHer

To number 65

There are risks to moving. Have the courage to do what’s best for your kids. I did and BH my kids are doing so well. Had i allowed myslef so be paralysed by the worries, i wouls be kicking myself for it today.

thank you collive
Guest
thank you collive

for posting the 1st article, and giving a platform for an important issue (among many others) to be discussed!

Have Bitachon???
Guest
Have Bitachon???

The last time I told Oholei Torah to have bitachon that hashem will send in the tuition money, I was told to jump in the lake.No one here is coming up with any real answers.How about all schools getting together and going to Albany asking for Tuition Help??

get educated
Guest
get educated

I just think it’s rather hilarious that everyone who disagrees with the “education before marriage” idea can’t spell and has terrible grammar.
That is my 10 cents to this article.

Hashem
Guest
Hashem

Is great in ideology, but let’s be real. That is not going to pay your bills. You have to make smart decisions concerning your monetary situation and your max for kids. Being in debt because G-d will help with your 12 children is quite ridiculous. Hashem does not want you to live in poverty. Most people cannot MENTALLY handle that many children. Hashem does not want you to be overwhelmed, emotionally drained to the breaking point…that is not what will aid you in your avodas Hashem. That is not the point of living a frum life. The people who can… Read more »

Schools need Bitachon!
Guest
Schools need Bitachon!

What a patronizing article! It really ignores the pain of those that are struggling. The first article, expressed what is true for many of us. You may not like it, but that doesn’t change the facts for us. I’m sick and tired of being told that parents need to have Bitachon. I think the schools should have Bitachon! Take what I can afford for tuition and have Bitachon that Hashem will send the school the rest! By the way, that does not mean simply charging me more because of others that don’t pay their bill! Raise money for those that… Read more »

Maaser
Guest
Maaser

Maybe if everyone would stop spending Maaser on things like JEM and such programs, there would be more Tzedaka for our schools?! Just a thought. Boy, people’s priorities are skewed. How in the world can JEM be bought with Maaser?? Either you can afford such a program or you can’t! If everyone gave 10% of their salary to their kids’ schools (after all everyone has to give Maaser no matter how much they make) – the tuitions would be covered. That should be the first Tzedaka priority.

So true, no. 68
Guest
So true, no. 68

Yesterdays administrators were shluchim, and cared for each and every child; today’s administrators have jobs and careers. They care about the bottom line and having a 9-5 job. End of story.

to 57
Guest
to 57

i agree with 55 completely, because its these chabad lite people who are behind the first op. ed., in which this is a response to, because they say “we cant afford to pay” and “have so many kids” etc. and “follow the rebbe because its too expensive” and saying “oh make funds”. so what were saying is you make these funds you raise the money etc. and also what he was saying is, be a chossid and realize that the only way to do so is try to bring moshiach which will solve all your problems. and i like what… Read more »

Shay
Guest
Shay

I don’t want to be poor and never be able to go anywhere or buy my family nice clothes and new shoes and never invite shabbos guests because all o my money goes to tuition. What kind of life is that! Stuck in the city with no money to travel or take my kids to amusement parks or make them birthday parties! Unfortunately I do consider that when it comes to having more children. I have 4 kids thank gd and my tuition is 28,000$ a year! There’s not much left to live out all the other aspects of life!… Read more »

You are trying to continue what Hitler Y"S started, R"L!!!!
Guest
You are trying to continue what Hitler Y"S started, R"L!!!!

To bring down less Yiddishe neshomos to the world (unless it’s a health problem) is helping Hitler, yimach shemo, continue what he started!!!!
We can look for possible solutions, but to prevent yiddishe neshomos to be born??!!!! What a shmeful solution!

Rabbi Spalter's story
Guest
Rabbi Spalter's story

The way I remember it, he responded; “about the bread I cannot answer until I am tested with it, the jewish education surly goes before the butter”.
Thank you for this articale. Many of the responses take on the fact that it did not answer totaly the question of tuition but the point of the articale was to bring the discussion back to “our” values, unzer shprach. You can discuss and look for solutions for the high tuitions but you cannot publish articales which go against our values.

too much
Guest
too much

i didnt read the previous article, but this one struck a chord in me. i will NEVER forget the humiliating letter brought home by my child “your child can not come to school to morrow until the tuition has been paid”. i was a single parent working for a chabad institution. my daughter, was out of school for two weeks. her grandmother who wasn’t religious, was surprised that this was happening.,she gave us all the money. was this the solution? The school admin had heard i was traveling for the yom tovim, so they felt “if i had money to… Read more »

New Haven
Guest
New Haven

I;m told there is an established community not far from Crown Heights, where housing is in the range of $125,000-$350,000 for a mansion. Nice people, the Chabad community is growing by a few families a year, they say it’s up and coming, and it’s commutable to NYC by train. I am looking into it, They have a school run by Chabad so the kids can learn how to read and write, and there is also a girls high school, and a mesivta and beis medrash with little or no politics.
does anyone know anything about it?

to #22
Guest
to #22

There’s something called being sarcastic… its pretty sad u couldent tell.

Great irony in 83
Guest
Great irony in 83

“school run by Chabad so the kids can learn how to read and write”

out of town rebbi
Guest
out of town rebbi

both letters have their merits.however the second commentry from a rebbi has some facts which need to be brought to his attention which had some facts which were slightly not correct,and i guess it could also be directed at the first letter.A little knoen fact is that although out of town pays shluchims rate they also have to pay over thei pellgrant to the yeshiva and in the case of caifornia alsi the cal grant..today these amounts add up to at least between $9000 and as much as $1200 which also means if the bocher wants to go to school… Read more »

Great job
Guest
Great job

great job. Thanks for taking the time to write it.

# 75
Guest
# 75

I wholeheartedly agree with your comment and shocked that so many people believe that such a burden should be placed on families that choose idealistically to have so many children dont get help from the actual institutions that encourage large families.We all know it is a brocho to have many kids but having bitachon alone doesnt bring money in to your bank account.The way the school heads run the schools in CH its a an absolute shame on them for not saying “we should have bitachon in hashem that He will provide for us”people should stop being sheep,we live in… Read more »

to auther
Guest
to auther

i really dont think you understand..

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