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Wednesday, 16 Sivan, 5779
  |  June 19, 2019

    The Rebbe’s Response to Bullying

    The reason the Rebbe cancelled a farbrengen in 1974 was connected to a boy being bullied in a Crown Heights school. Full Story

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    What a lesson in this week of parsha Shelach
    Guest
    What a lesson in this week of parsha Shelach

    We had been on exile, for baseless hatred and bullying, ridiculing, embarrasing is HATRED. Feeling superior to others is a failure on ahavas Israel and many halachos because the arrogance make us a Merkava of Tumah, G-d forbid. But for sure if Kids bully in most cases is because their parents abused them, older brothers and is a community challenge. This needs to be stopped and may we not need sufferings because of this henious practice, May we work together how to make feel better our fellow yidden and speacially our families, that’s the real thermometer that measures how Real… Read more »

    Beautiful!
    Guest
    Beautiful!
    Just but a glimpse of our Rebbe
    Guest
    Just but a glimpse of our Rebbe

    I’m crying. The tears can’t stop dripping down my cheeks as I think of our Rebbe and how he went beyond the call of duty even to forgo his usual customary farbreingens esp. on such important Chassidishe Yomim Tovim just to bestow kindness on one, yes only one Bar Mitzvah Bochur who had absolutely no inkling the Rebbe was doing this just for his happiness. And the story with the Yeshiva and the Rebbe’s words to Rabbi Chodakov. How dear each Yiddishe Neshama is to the Rebbe and how important that not one child yes, not even one should be… Read more »

    I have never read anything like this!
    Guest
    I have never read anything like this!

    thank you collive

    bullying and the bus
    Guest
    bullying and the bus

    My kids get bullied on the bus by girls who refuse to share their seats. I have heard of girls being hit or kicked by a few students who bully other kids on the bus. There are kids who stand because they are too afraid to try and go sit with these kids who do not allow anyone except their choice friends to sit in these seats.
    Anyone else have this issue?

    Frankel Shul
    Guest
    Frankel Shul

    Not Franklin

    I'm crying
    Guest
    I'm crying

    I’m not one to cry but reading this story brought tears to my eyes may we see the Rebbe beguf gashmius now!!

    Get on the bus
    Guest
    Get on the bus

    Ride on the bus to school with your girls. Find out who the bullies are and sit right next to them. Use this as an opportunity to speak with them and “out” them. If the school does not like it, tell the school that they are not keeping your daughters physically and emotionally safe, so you are stepping in. Shine a light on this situation and it will stop, guaranteed.

    detest bullying
    Guest
    detest bullying

    Jofaz will not let parents on bus. But it’s a great tactic nonetheless to scare the monsters. My ex-mother-in-law did something like this by showing up at the school playground and being a tough presence. May chessed overpower and we should have Moshiach revealed now!

    to #5
    Guest
    to #5

    find out who they are and call the parents

    crying so hard
    Guest
    crying so hard

    As a mother of a child bullied for so many years, all I can do is daven that the Rebbe hears our cries and helps us through this situation.

    to #11
    Guest
    to #11

    More than the article, your comment brought me to tears, we – klal yisroel – feel your pain 🙁

    ......
    Guest
    ......

    wow!

    I am crying
    Guest
    I am crying

    I Am a 30 years old man and I am crying. We need the Rebbe back, yes! B’gashmius.

    Selective enforcements
    Guest
    Selective enforcements

    Funny how the educators and administrators in our Yeshivos are so selective in what they consider important to enforce all in the name of The Rebbe. If only they would apply all of the Rebbe’s teachings with the same stringency.

    FRANKEL SHUL
    Guest
    FRANKEL SHUL

    NOT FRANKLIN…. 🙂

    Kosher style vs Authentic Kosher
    Guest
    Kosher style vs Authentic Kosher

    Chabadist style “system” vs Authentic Chabad teachings Why do so many of our kids reject Yiddiahkeit?? “reject Yiddiahkeit”??! Not at all Those who openly frei out DO NOT REJECT YIDISHKEIT!! they reject is the Actually THEY REJECT the LACK OF (authentic) YIDISHKEIT!! They are turned off by the absence of AUTHENTIC CHABAD values inside our “Chabad” school system! What is actually repelling these drop-outs is a “grossesly distorted portrayal of Chabad values and ideology” if our school system where more in alignment with AUTHENTIC CHAABAD teachings (defined by the Rebbe) our children would be attracted to it!!! Not ch”v repelled… Read more »

    Yes Chasidus works!!
    Guest
    Yes Chasidus works!!

    The lack of Chasidus is toxic!!

    Educators and Administrators
    Guest
    Educators and Administrators

    And camp counselors…
    Its YOUR JOB to address the physical and emotional safety of
    the children . Where are you? It is your responsibility to treat
    bullies accordingly even when they are from “prominent”
    families who nevertheless didn’t receive proper chinuch at home on treating others how they would like to be treated.
    The main message is not brought across.”ואהבת לרעך כמוך
    זה כלל גדול בתורה ” The above article should as a guiding light
    for all involved.

    17 = good post
    Guest
    17 = good post

    Good message! spell check please!

    Get on the bus
    Guest
    Get on the bus

    To #17-

    Excellent. Your comments are right on the money. Children/teens are rejecting the hypocrisy, the humiliation, and the superficiality that are inherent in the current system. Give them authentic opportunities to internalize and then act on their middos and you will see a drastic change. Prizes and contests are the worst possible teaching tools. Our children need to learn lishma and we need to model that attitude for them. There is so much work to be done, but the least-likely place for it to happen is in our massive educational institutions.

    17 totally agree!
    Guest
    17 totally agree!

    very well said! please right a proper oped
    ty

    THANK YOU AVNER INSTITUTE!
    Guest
    THANK YOU AVNER INSTITUTE!

    Such a needed message–and Authentic way of bringing Moshiach Now!

    Regards,
    Mosad Chok leYisroel

    Comment 17
    Guest
    Comment 17

    spot on!
    Whoever you are we need more voices like yours

    kol hakavod!!

    #17 AWESOME!
    Guest
    #17 AWESOME!

    Write an oped!

    17 is right!
    Guest
    17 is right!

    #17 You hit it spot on!! Parents are those who will make a difference in the schools. Demand it and shine a light on the problems, you will be able to fix it and help your kids. No one else will do this for you! Demand that principals and teachers get professional training and Demand that there be a system in place that enforces the schools policies.

    teach a child how to stop the bullying on his own
    Guest
    teach a child how to stop the bullying on his own

    There is a shomer Torah u’mitzvos psychologist in Staten Island named Izzy Kalman. For a flat fee he will do a phone session with a child (or you could go to his office) and he has a unique and fun method to teach a child the social skills needed to react to bullying and within a couple of days the bullying usually stops. Learning the social skills is fun and doesn’t take long. He will follow up if necessary. It teaches a child confidence and is easy to learn. He has a website: http://www.bullies2buddies.com. I know someone who did two… Read more »

    17 yiyasher koach!!
    Guest
    17 yiyasher koach!!

    Thank you to AVNER INSTITUTE! collive! keep it coming! To my friend who authored post 17 i’m pretty sure i know you personally, from what you wrote your toichin, clarity and passion as i told you many times, you have a public duty to get out there, write up a proper op-ed, lmaan tovas haklal! “A Tzibul zol funn deer veren, ober chsidus zolstdo chazeren” Reb… (i’ll respect your anonymity) we live in a dor yosom dor acharon and H gave you a very unique choshiveh chinuch and tremendous appetite for knowledge so put aside your personal cheshbonos and use… Read more »

    27 and 17
    Guest
    27 and 17

    Thank you!

    My two cents, Parents should make a special point to invest a few minutes daily to fully tune in and really listen and connect to you son or daughter, to know whats going on in their world socially, emotionally etc etc this goes along way towards detecting and preventing problems early on

    great story
    Guest
    great story

    There should be zero tolerance for bullying, period. And parents definately need to intervene in schools if there is a problem. But even though the schools are responsible for taking care of this during bus and school time, it is ultimately the parents at home who instil long lasting Middos by being role-models, and not tolerating these behaviors at home. Authentic Yiddishkiet and Chassidishkiet is instilled in the home. It goes without saying that everything should be done to make sure the staff at school and camp are trained to take care of these situations and are the best role… Read more »

    didnt say it was shabbos
    Guest
    didnt say it was shabbos

    in the beginning of the story!

    Agree with 17!
    Guest
    Agree with 17!

    Theres none other like our Rebbe

    crying
    Guest
    crying

    like the others,
    so touched by the depth of the Rebbes REAL concern
    and reminded of how much we need our Rebbe back, beinei bosor vadam NOW
    moshiach now!
    while we are waiting, those in positions of responsibility and power DONT LET THESE THINGS SLIDE in your camps or schools etc. ZERO TOLLERANCE; there is a great anti bullying program you can do in your schools called ‘BE THE CHANGE’ look it up, very in line with chassidic philosophy

    FUN FOR SHABBOS
    Guest
    FUN FOR SHABBOS

    Have a girls group over for shabbos. Invite the entire class. You should be able to figure out quite quickly who the bullies are. Why can’t you walk into class in the morning and speak to the Morah, OR become a recess volunteer? Then you will see the true behavior of the girls.
    This last idea would work for boys as well.

    to 17 soo true! you have my vote as well! id love to see this in a more expanded oped
    Guest
    to 17 soo true! you have my vote as well! id love to see this in a more expanded oped

    i see there are many other ppl who resenated with coment 17, i want to add my approval and encouragement to, you have a clear perspective on things please keep posting, i for one appreciate your style and relevance!

    Rambam says
    Guest
    Rambam says

    the way to fulfill the Mitzvas-aseh to be Medavek BaHashem is by studying the ways of Tzadikim and striving to emulate their conduct

    the Rebbeh is the epitome of how each chossid should strive to live like.

    lets all do our part to keep moving up everyday a little more in the direction the Rebbeh taught and lived by example

    i love this story!
    Guest
    i love this story!

    and i am very uplifted by the public’s reaction inthese comments, theres hope in the sensible silant majority that positive change will be made to restore our educational institutions to reflect the names they carry
    VDa”L

    p.s 17your points are very well taken and deserve to be an oped so more people can realize the critical distinction you so eloquently delivered.

    no reason to remain anonymous!

    over 350 facebook like and counting!!
    Guest
    over 350 facebook like and counting!!

    der olom gets it! the (system) leadership needs to follow suit

    small or big?
    Guest
    small or big?

    This heart-penetrating story affirms our holy sages teachings that there is no small or big mitzvot. only difference is whether we keep or not,but result is same which leads us to strong connection to Hashem.May we do mitvots to please Him,so He may hasten to send Mashiah!!

    This is one of my all time favorite story's
    Guest
    This is one of my all time favorite story's

    The “system” is far from following the Rebbe’s teachings

    Comment 17 is unfortunately true!

    I agree with29 & 17
    Guest
    I agree with29 & 17

    Parents need to put pressure on those we entrust with our kids, when enough parents put pressure and hold those principals accountable they will have no choice and start implementing policies and priorities more reflective of the Rebbe’s teachings and less nepotistic/distructive policies

    School and Home!!
    Guest
    School and Home!!

    To those putting all the focus on the schools jobre Remember that the “home” is the foundation of how well a child can survive the abuses of a corrupt environment outside the home. When the home is happy, nurturing, and peaceful It matters allot less what toxicity the children encounter out there. However, if the home is unhealthy… then the child is 10000x more susceptible to all kinds of spiritual and psychological toxins on the street and in school! Bottomeline: Kids need a home with solid Shalom Bayis, Warm and nurturing parents who have their priorities straight and live in… Read more »

    42 excellent comment!
    Guest
    42 excellent comment!

    Parents need to realize how much power they have in their control to prevent problems for their children, just by providing the children with a solid happy Torah home!

    42 & 17 on the mark
    Guest
    42 & 17 on the mark

    Thank you!

    Moving story!
    Guest
    Moving story!

    Thx to collive for posting

    Wow!
    Guest
    Wow!

    I love my rebbe!!

    all educators
    Guest
    all educators

    parents and teachers need formal training and guidance, on this topic!

    education
    Guest
    education

    Thats the education. Thank you

    WE WANT MOSHIACH NOW!
    Guest
    WE WANT MOSHIACH NOW!

    I LOVE THE REBBE WITH MY HEART AND SOUL!
    I WANT HIM BACK!

    X