The Impact of a Short Friendship

The following was written by Rabbi Mordechai Z. Hecht, a Shliach in Forest Hills, Queens, NY, together with his wife Sarah and daughter Liba Haddassah. He dedicated this article to Moshe Duvid Ben Devorah (Matt Colwes) OB”M.

Part I: The Story

It was Chanukah 2007, my first year on Shlichus in my home town of Forest Hills. As I stood in line, in a small Forest Hills post office waiting to buy some stamps for an upcoming Chanukah mailing, I noticed a woman at the counter was quite upset after learning that there were no more Christmas stamps. “What do you have then?” she asked, “We have first class and Chanukah ones,” the clerk replied. “I don’t want Chanukah stamps!” she responded. Immediately, the man in front of me screamed out “I’ll take the Chanukah stamps, give me a whole bunch of them!”

Matt was a proud Jew! In public he did not care to proclaim his Judaism and his Jewish pride. Standing behind this proud person, I asked, “Are you Jewish?” to which he answered, “Sure I’m Jewish!” And so I introduced myself, “My name is Mordechai from Chabad, nice to meet you.” He replied emphatically, “I put on Teffllin every Friday with those guys on 108th St. and I put a few dollars in the pushkie” – referring to the charity box – “all the time.”

And that is how Matt – “Moshe Duvid” as he would say – and I met.

Our sages tell us: “Every single Jew has a share in the world to come.” This statement is said about all Jews, regardless of their affiliation, level of practice or religiosity. How much more so, our sages tell us that one who performs mitzvot – commandments – is assured a place in the world to come.

They say that after you pass on you cannot take anything with you. Our sages also say, “Today we toil, and tomorrow we reap” – You Can Send it Ahead! I am confident that Matt has sent his good deeds ahead, and that they are waiting for him in heaven and will surely speak on his behalf… may he rest in peace.

Matt, as he told me, had some downs in his life; going through a difficult divorce and loss of his business. But my impression of Matt was that he was optimistic for the future. We would talk from time to time about life, business, the neighborhood and more, and we always enjoyed it.

My wife and I were privileged to have Matt join us for Friday night dinners in our Chabad Home and he enjoyed them very much.

As I mentioned, Matt was a proud Jew! And of course he enjoyed good food and a little L’Chaim…

Dies in My Arms

One day Matt called and said to me, “Rabbi, the most frightening thing in my life has just happened to me.” He began to tell me how his next door neighbor, an elderly lady, who he would check on quite often, was very ill. The other day, she told Matt that she was not feeling well and he immediately called an ambulance. Before it could even get there, she passed away right next to him in his hands. He said, “Rabbi, it was so scary. I feel so bad for her, and I don’t know what to do, and I didn’t know who to call, so I called you, Rabbi.”

Wow! After a little chat on the phone I said, “Matt, I was always taught that the Mezuzah serves as a protection not just for the home but for the well being of the people in it. Perhaps you might consider getting Mezuzahs in your home to serve as protection and a little peace of mind.”

“Rabbi,” he began, “I know there are Mezuzahs on our door but they are probably not kosher, why don’t you go ahead and get me two Mezuzahs – one for my door and one for the main door.” I tried to convince Matt to have me check his old ones, to which he reassured me that they were decades old and certainly not kosher. The next day, Matt came over. I explained to him how to put up the Mezuzahs, and he gladly listened, leaving our Chabad home on a mission.

Hearing Back

For a few weeks I did not hear from Matt, until one day he called and said, “Rabbi, you’re not going to believe it. My mom was at the doctor for a check up and they noticed that her ear, which was practically deaf for years, is getting its hearing back!” The doctors, he tells me, were astonished; they said that this is a one in a million case and they “have no medical explanation for it.” And then he says, “Rabbi, you don’t have to tell me anything, I have no doubt that my mom got her hearing back because of the Mezuzah, I want to thank you so much for what you’ve done.” “Not me,” I said, “G-d! … but I am so glad that you tell me this.”

A little while later he called back to say, “My mom asked if you could get her one more for her bedroom” And so we did.

From Chanukah stamps to Teffllin and charity, to Mezuzahs and honoring his mother, Matt was a true and concerned Jew who not only believed, but also practiced what he believed. He was a man with a big heart and an open mind.

In the teachings of Kabalah it is taught, “A soul can come into this world for 70 – 80 years just to do a single favor for another.”
May G-d open up His gates widely and receive the Neshamah – the soul – of Moshe Ben Devorah graciously, and take good care of him.

As our Torah promises us regarding the resurrection of the dead, and as we say in the daily liturgy, “Blessed are You the Lord who Resurrects the Dead.” As our prophet so eloquently tells us, “There will come a time when those who lie in the dust will arise and rejoice” – with the coming of our righteous redeemer. Amen.

Illness Kicks In

A few weeks later, which happened to be almost a year after Matt and I first met, I got a call from Matt. “Rabbi, we need to talk.” After asking what the matter was, all he could say was that we had to talk. When I told him I would come over, he said not to bother. A couple of days later, I got a call from his sister, “Matt is in a coma.” Over the next few weeks, we visited Matt to pray at his bedside and performed acts of kindness in his merit. After being hospitalized for only a few weeks, Matt passed away from pneumonia.

My wife and I were shocked; we only just started to get to know Matt. Hashem had other plans for him.

The Funeral

At the funeral, it seemed as though the entire Italian mob was present. I soon learned that these big, buff but gentile guys were Matt’s friends. I shared with them the story you have just read, and there was not a dry eye in the crowd. People were shocked to hear about this side of Matt that they had never known, including his mother and sister.

After the funeral, I started to get calls from family members wishing to make donations in Matt’s memory, and I had an epiphany. Matt’s story was all about good deeds, but the Mezuzah was at the epicenter of it all. I suggested to a family member that we make a fund for Matt – A Mezuzah fund – and that perhaps the family could compile $1,800 to create a it in his memory.

The family member assured me that it would be a long stretch, but she would get her family on board in contributing. Over the next few days, a few checks came in totaling approximately $500. For a new Chabad home at the time, it was very nice, but it was not the $1,800 I had “epiphanied”.

Part II : Our Story

The Morning After

Two weeks later, I heard the doorbell ring, but when I reached the door there was no one there. I did, however, notice an envelope in the mailbox and immediately brought it inside.

At first I noticed the address on the front was wrong, and it had been reposted three times. Being that it was a Sunday, I knew the mailman could not have dropped it off, which I thought to be quite strange. I opened the envelope and was shocked and elated to find a $1,800 check made out to Chabad of the Gardens, Forest Hills from Matt’s sister.

My mind spinning, I picked up the phone to call her and tell her how glad I was that we would be able to perpetuate Matt’s memory in such a respectable way. When I began to thank her for the money for the fund, she asked, “which fund?” I said, “The Matt Colwes Mezuzah Fund we spoke about!” Confused, she replied that she did not know what I was talking about, to which I explained what I had mentioned to her cousin. Still unaware of the fund, she explained, “I just knew that Matt was emphatic about you and Chabad and I wanted to contribute and say thank you.”

The Night Before

The previous night, my wife and I had a serious conversation about the general direction of our Shlichus. She had ideas and I had ideas – what to decide? I tried to impress on my wife that our neighborhood, one where I grew up, was a tough nut to crack and that if we take things slowly, no doubt “the Rebbe would show us the way.” We made it to this point only because of the Rebbe, and that is a story for itself, surely the Rebbe will guide us onward. And that is pretty much where this “Chabad Board Meeting” ended. In that meeting, I had pitched the idea of the Matt Colwes Mezuzah Fund explaining how the Mezuzah is not only such an easy mitzvah, it is also such an easy way to meet people and of course, is one of the Mitzvahs of the Rebbe, so why not start there?

The Rebbe guided the check that was meant to arrive at least one week earlier but was addressed wrongly. Delivered not a moment too soon, the day after our “Chabad Board Meeting,” the amount and the timing was precisely on target.

Part III: The After Story

A few months ago, as I was going through my contacts, I found Matt’s sister on Facebook. At the time, she was attending a reform temple and was going through a divorce. Today, she not only attends, but is very active in her Chabad in NJ. She is back together with her husband, and things are going well. The Matt Colwes Mezuzah Fund is now the Matt Colwes Mezuah and Tefillin Fund and is stronger than ever. The fund has provided hundreds of Mezuzahs and Tefillin to dozens of people and institutions in our neighborhood and to other Shluchim in the NY area.

All of this because of the Chanukah Stamp – a piece of paper worth less that 40 cents at the time and less than a square inch in diameter. This reminds me of Dovid Hamelech and the spider – Hashem has reasons for creating everything, and when we get to see it firsthand, it is infinitely large.

Only a few months later, we moved into a 15,000 square foot Chabad house, Anshe Sholom Chabad JCC – the largest single Chabad house in the Five Boroughs.

We are forever the Rebbe’s Shluchim and have seen his guidance time and again. We stand forever grateful.